“Do I need to be seated?” I opened the door, and it hit me like a punch. Her peach scent still hung in the air.
“There was a hospital visit.”
I staggered in the entryway.
“Her best friend.”
“Camaro?”
“Yes, she was beaten up. Her arm’s broken, and she was sexually assaulted.”
“No.” I dropped the guitar case and sank to the floor. “Jewel?”
“Not involved. But an aggressive collection agency is after both of them for emergency-room charges. The landlord suggested I check the shelter on Peach.”
“I’ll meet you there.” I pushed to my feet.
“Already checked. They were there, but they’re not anymore.”
“Fuck! Do you have any good news for me?”
“About Jewel?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Not about her, no. I’m at a dead end.”
I didn’t like his choice of words, didn’t like them at all. Switching the phone to speaker, I raked my free hand through my hair as I tried not to completely panic.
“Look, I’ve got a private investigator on it,” Brad said, his voice soothing as he tried to reassure me. “We’ll find her. You should call him. I’ll text you his number. He wants you to give him all the information you can remember. But there’s other good news . . .”
My phone bleeped with the texted info, and I said, “I’ll call him right now.”
I stood up, and when I reached the living room, that’s when I saw it.
The painting. Her painting of us on the porch, sitting on the lounger together.
My guitar beside us. Her easel. The sunset over the Pacific. My expression. Hers. So much emotion. I could practically hear the melody to the song I’d written that night, listening to the crashing of the waves.
My throat closed. Then I saw the note and the stack of money beside it.
I rushed over and snagged the note, avoiding looking at the cash because I knew what it was—every single cent I’d given her for the time she spent with me here. I didn’t need to count it to know that.
Bad news, knowing she could use that money.
But it gave me a glimmer of hope to know that from the moment she had crossed the threshold of my home, I’d been more than just a business transaction to her.
Remembering that Brad was still on the line, I held the phone to my ear. “Hang on a second.”
He didn’t know what I had seen.
The painting. And the note.
Even when today and tomorrow are over, you will always be in my heart.
Merry Christmas.
Love, Jewel
I pulled in a breath and my chest expanded, but not only with air. With light, like only she could bring. Hope where there had been none.
That reminded me.
“Wait . . . you mentioned good news,” I said to Brad. I’d take all that I could get.
“Just that I got an email alert from Norman’s. They got a signed Martin in on consignment this week. One with a photo and a cool backstory.”
“From Tennessee?” I held my breath.
“Yeah. How did you know?”
I exhaled. “It’s her mother’s guitar.”
“Whose?”
“Jewel’s mother’s.” My next breath came easier. “I’ll call the shop. They should have a contact number for her.”
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
* * *
Rush
Shaina answered the door.
“Is she here?” My heart hammered inside my chest. It had been in my throat on the drive over.
“Yes, they both are. They’re in the back. I moved into the main house so they could stay in the garage apartment. But I told you on the phone, I don’t know if she’ll see you.”
I had to see her. “I’ll knock on the door. Can’t we let fate decide?”
“She told you that?” Shaina raised a blond brow. “I don’t know if it’ll be fate in your instance. You screwed up badly. What you need is a miracle.”
“I know I do. I believe in those. She’s one of them. I’m here to make amends.”
I was here to get her back.
Today. Tomorrow. However long it took.
“You can try.”
“I plan to.” I gestured to the driveway. “Can you open the gate so I can walk around back?”
“You can come through the house.” Shaina stepped aside to let me enter.
When I was already halfway through the living room, she called my name. I stopped and glanced back.
“I’m sorry about your mom.”
The pain was still so raw, my eyes burned. I nodded once and got moving again.
I had my free hand on the sliding-glass door handle to the patio when she said, “Do you love her?”
I froze, my voice low. “She’s my world.”
“Then I won’t wish you luck. All you need to do is simply convince her what you feel is real.”
Yeah, simple. I clung to that possibility the way Jewel had once let me cling to her.
My throat tight, I left the main house, crossed the patio and the lawn, and stepped onto the deck to the apartment. Ignoring my racing heart, I knocked, and was surprised when she answered.
“Jewel.” I breathed out her name, drinking her in.
Her hair was loose. She wore cutoff shorts and an art T-shirt that said MY PAINTBRUSH IS MY SWORD. In other words, she looked perfect, and I took the first right breath I’d taken since I sent her away.
Her gold eyes widening in shock, she stepped back and slammed the door shut in my face.
“Jewel, please.” I knocked again.
The door opened again and a fist came flying at my face. It wasn’t Jewel’s, and lucky for me, it didn’t make the intended contact.
“Let go of my hand, you fucking shit!” Cam’s green eyes were nearly as dark as her expression as I released her fist. “Go away and don’t ever come back.”
“I can’t do that.”
“You so can.”
“I love her, Cam. I made a mistake.”
Her entire body trembling, she shouted, “Your mistake nearly killed her!”
I absorbed that blow. It hit deeper than any punch could have.
“I can’t take back the hurt, but I’m here to say I’m sorry. I made a mistake. I’ll try, if you’ll let me—if she’ll let me—to make amends.”
“There’s no amending. What’s done is done.” Touching her fingers to her bruised cheek with the hand that wasn’t encumbered by a sling, Cam glared at me, her eyes holding shadows that spoke of deeper, more significant injury than I could see.
“What’s done is done?” I repeated, and she nodded. “Bullshit.”
She flinched.
“I used to think like that. I let years pass by with my mom that I can never get back because I didn’t make the effort to change things. It’s a matter of trying. It’s taking that first step. To make amends with the people you love, no distance is too great.”
“Those are just words.”
“It starts with words. My mom knew. Jewel knows. She was there when we all talked about it. She just has to believe.”
Cam scoffed. “You want her to have faith in you after what you did?”
“I want her to have faith in us. In herself. In me. How right we are together. How wrong we are apart.”
She shook her head. “That’s never going to happen.”
“It will. I won’t give up. If she won’t talk to me today, I’ll be back tomorrow. And the day after that.”
“Jewel goes to work in the daytime. And you’re crazy if you think she’ll listen to you. Delusional.”
“I’m in love with her, Cam.”
Something flickered in Cam’s eyes before they hardened again. “Love doesn’t change anything.”
“It does. It changes everything. Jewel knows. She’s the one who showed me. It’s my turn now.” I set the guitar case down. “I bought this from Norman’s, and I’
m gifting it to her.”
Money was in an envelope, the same amount that I’d paid for the instrument. I set that down too.
“What’s that?” Cam’s eyes narrowed.
“My Christmas presents for Jewel, a little late. I have another one, but I’m saving it until she talks to me personally. I saw her present today. Tell her that. Tell her the painting blew me away. This is just me trying in a small way to reciprocate.”
***
Jewel
“Aren’t you going to peek in the envelope?” Cam asked.
I shook my head, sure it was all there.
Cam gave me a searching look. “Just want to throw it and your mom’s guitar at his handsome head, huh?”
“Yes and no.”
“He seems pretty determined.”
I shrugged. “He’s a lot of things.” The most important thing wasn’t the return of my mother’s guitar, and it certainly wasn’t the cash. It was the motivation behind those things.
“He said a lot.”
“He did.”
“You believe him?”
“I do.”
Cam’s tension seemed to fade away. “Then maybe you should stop him before he gets away.”
“You hate him.”
“I do. I’m the best friend. It’s my role to look after you. But with him coming here, and the things he said, I realize I don’t know him like you probably do.”
Confused, I looked away. “He broke my heart.”
“I know that. I was there to watch it shatter.” She touched my arm gently. “I guess what you have to decide is if you can put it back together without him.”
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
* * *
Rush
“Rush!” Jewel came flying down the driveway, her hair streaming behind her like a coppery banner. “Wait!”
Stunned, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. So I went with what felt right.
I jogged to meet her halfway and swept her into my arms. Her body molded to mine, I could feel her heart racing.
“It’s okay, baby. I’m here,” I said, stroking my hand up and down her spine. Soothing her settled me too. “I was only going back to the condo. I planned to come back tomorrow.”
“I wasn’t sure.” She stiffened, putting her hands on my chest, and tried to wiggle free.
I didn’t allow her that freedom. Now that I had her back in my arms, it was all I could do not to crush her to me. “I told Cam I’d be back. I thought you heard me.”
“I heard, but I wasn’t sure how long you were staying in town.”
“I’m here until I fix things with you.”
“But the tour?”
“Postponed until I give the okay to restart it.”
“You hurt me.” Her expression darkened, and so did her eyes.
“I know I did. I’m sorry. I hurt me too.”
She sighed. “I’m sorry I missed the funeral.”
“Not sorrier than I am that you weren’t with me.”
“Did your Aunt Shea sing?”
“Yes. ‘Amazing Grace,’ like you suggested. It was moving.”
“Was it difficult saying good-bye?” Moving her hands to my forearms, she leaned back to search my gaze. “It was for me. I fell apart when they lowered my gran’s casket into the ground.”
“Before that, I think I was in denial.” I swallowed, knowing I still hadn’t come to terms with my mom’s passing. “I reached for you, Jewel, so many times. After I tossed the dirt in, I completely lost it.”
“Oh, Rush.” She wrapped her arms around me and laid her cheek on my chest.
I changed my mind. It wasn’t her scent that was a balm. It was her.
“I missed you so much.” I kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry I made a terrible mistake. Sorry I didn’t believe you.”
“Was it Brenda?”
“Yes. The accountant found the discrepancy when they merged the farm accounts. Randy confronted her. They’re separated now.”
“Good.”
“Better for him, for sure. How did you get back to LA?”
“I flew.”
“Like a bird?” I said, trying to inject some levity.
“On American Airlines.”
“Wasn’t that expensive? You left all the money I gave you at the condo. How did you get by?”
Had she been with anyone else? It would be my fault if she had, but just the thought made me sick.
“Cam sold the stuff you bought us, but it wasn’t enough without me working. She went out by herself and got hurt. She was sexually assaulted, but she won’t go see a counselor. She pretends like it’s not a big deal, but it is. And it’s my fault.”
I pulled Jewel close, squeezing her tight. “It’s not.”
“I should have gone with her,” she murmured against my chest.
“Then both of you could’ve been hurt. Who would’ve taken care of her then?” I shook my head, angry with myself. “I wish I’d handled things differently.”
Jewel pulled back, her expression fierce. “It takes two to keep up a misunderstanding. We’re both responsible for not mending the distance that Brenda’s lie put between us.”
“Your part was minor.”
She shook her head. “I should’ve tried harder to convince you to believe me. I should’ve told you a long time ago about the money I took.”
“I had a crisis of faith. I know your heart. I should’ve trusted you.”
“I left you alone in a dark place. I should’ve stayed.”
Pulling her close again, I said softly, “Where do we go from here, baby?”
“I don’t know, Rush.”
“I don’t want to be without you. What can I do to make things better?”
She was quiet for a moment, and when she spoke, her voice was low. “I need to know that you’ll keep me safe. That I can trust you. That you trust me.”
I’d lost her love. I had to regain it.
Leaning back so she could see how much I wanted this, I said, “Come back to the condo with me.”
“I can’t.” Her gaze pleading for my understanding, she said, “I have Cam. She’s important to me. I neglected her before. Besides, you have your band commitments. Your bandmates. Your brother. We can’t go back to stealing borrowed moments of time outside our real lives anymore.”
“You’re right,” I said, and she was.
I needed to merge my life with hers.
I needed to make adjustments.
I needed to show her I was committed to us.
Jewel had shown me the way in Indiana, blending in so effortlessly with me and my family, though Brenda denied it.
“Love isn’t two separate existences,” I said, meaning every word. “It’s being together. It’s sharing hopes. It’s combining our dreams and helping each other achieve them. It’s being each other’s sure foundation to ride out any storm.”
***
Jewel
“There’s another delivery on the deck for you,” Cam yelled.
“I’m running late,” I shouted from the bathroom. “I still need to brush my teeth. Can you get it?”
“No.”
“Cam . . .” I used my best wheedling tone. “C’mon.”
“All right,” she grumbled, stomping down the hall. “But if it’s that pain-in-the-ass manager bringing more flowers, you’re putting them in water, not me.”
“They were irises, white irises.” I smiled, thinking of the Van Gogh and our special day at the Getty Museum.
“They made me sneeze,” she said.
They’d made me cry.
I heard the front door open and hurriedly brushed my teeth. Once I’d wiped my mouth, I snagged my bus pass from the counter and sped down the hall.
Cam blocked my way, standing in the doorway to the living room. “You’re going to have to take this delivery yourself,” she said, then stepped aside.
“Good morning.” Rush straightened from the couch.
Like the day before, he wore
jeans and the shirt I’d had on the last night we spent together. Heat hit my cheeks at the memory, and at the way the tee stretched tight across his broad shoulders and clung to his pecs.
“I’m on my way to work.” I held up my bus pass.
Rush gave me a heart-stopping smile. “Thought I’d swing by and take you, spend a little time with you. Maybe shorten your commute.”
The warmth from my cheeks spread through my entire body. “Oh. Yeah, sure. Thanks.”
“My pleasure, baby.”
He leaned in and pressed a kiss to my cheek. My knees buckled.
“Where we headed?” he asked, a grin in his voice as we left the apartment.
“Taix.”
A stutter-step interrupted his usual smooth glide, and he gave me a curious look.
“I called Gustav. He hired me based on your recommendation, even though I told him about my record, my former occupation, all of it.”
“How long you been working there?”
“Not long.”
“Bussing tables?”
“Waitressing.”
“How are the tips?”
I shrugged. “They make up for the minimum wage.”
“I bet they do. I’ll ask to get seated in your section tomorrow.”
“You coming for business or pleasure?”
Rush gave me a serious look. “Jewel, anytime you’re around, it’s pleasure. But I’m meeting my boss. She wants to go over some things about the album, rescheduling tour dates. I want her to know about me and you, and where I feel like I am and want to go with my career.”
“Sounds serious.”
“It’s important. After my dad and mom, after losing you, I want to make the most of every day, every chance.”
“To do what?”
“To do things right.”
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
* * *
Rush
I waited for Jewel in the parking lot, leaning against the driver’s side of the Porsche, my gaze glued to the back door. When she finally emerged, I straightened. Her hair was loose, blowing in the breeze.
Rock Star Romance Ultimate Volume 2 Page 136