“Jesus Christ!”
“We’ve got to stop meeting like this.” He laughed.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, not quite coldly. She stood and turned off the music a little resentfully.
“We missed you at game night. Jamie said something came up at the last minute,” Will began.
“I thought you were driving home today. Traffic is going to be bad now.” She glanced at her watch. She’d thought she’d be safe from Will until January.
“Native New Yorker, remember? I don’t drive at home. That’s why God invented taxis.” He stood in the doorway a bit awkwardly before asking, “Can I come in?”
EJ hesitated but eventually stood aside. Wanting more distance than her love seat provided, she directed Will to her desk chair and sat at the far end of her bed. “When’s your flight?”
“Don’t worry, Eej; I’m on my way to the airport. I promise I won’t take long.” He leaned over and elbowed her lightly. “You sure seem eager to get rid of me.” He laughed. She did not. He did not appear to notice.
“Anyway, I wanted to thank you.” Will coughed. “Remember when we were in the school gallery, and you said I should host a Reading Rainbow for art? Well, you kind of sparked something, and it’s going to be the basis of my independent study next semester. I’m going to create a web series on art for it. If everything goes well, it could be more than my degree—it could be my next project. There’s a lot, a lot, still to do, but I wanted to say thanks.” He stood and proffered a coolly elegant gift bag in a holiday-neutral ecru.
Oh God. This was so much easier when he didn’t like me. EJ looked at the bag—then at Will. “I can’t accept this,” she said.
Will pressed the bag into her hands. “Oh, I promise you it’s nothing expensive. Jamie told me—”
“I can’t accept this, Will,” she said emphatically, returning the bag to him. “I can’t accept anything from you, and I can’t be your friend.”
Will sat down slowly, cradling the bag in his lap. “I don’t understand.”
EJ squeezed her hands together anxiously. “Recently, I learned about some events in your past that prevent me from continuing to associate with you. The victim asked me not to share this story, so I’m keeping it to myself. But now that I know the truth about you, I will be civil with you in social situations, but morally, I—”
“I’m sorry, ‘victim’?” Will choked out. “Morally—what? Who?”
“Jordan,” EJ intoned. “I know what you did to him, Will.”
The actor staggered slightly. “Jordan”—he took a steadying breath—“Walker?”
Oh God, his actor is showing, EJ thought impatiently.
“Yes, Jordan Walker. Were there any other scholarship kids you got kicked out of school for dating your sister?” she said in an acidic tone.
“What?” Will cried.
“I know everything, Will,” EJ continued. “How you punched him and threw a wad of money at him so he’d leave Lily alone. How you didn’t stop there.” She watched the color drain from his face.
“How did you hear about this?” he asked crisply, sliding into cool-patrician mode as easily as a duck slid into water.
So it’s true! Part of EJ hadn’t fully believed it until now. “He told me. Jordan and I . . .” She paused. “We, um, met a couple of weeks back. He just—”
“He’s here?” Will gripped the edge of her desk. He seemed ready to leap into some sort of action.
EJ paused warily. “I don’t think I should say more. He’s finally gotten his life back together. I couldn’t be responsible for you taking it all away again. Leave him alone, Will. You’ve done enough.”
“Fucking hell! I’ve done enough—” Will dropped the gift on her desk and shoved himself out of his seat, pacing the length of her single.
EJ thought he’d forgotten she was there when he stopped and turned to her. “Can I just ask,” he began with some agitation, “why’d you believe this horrifying rumor about me from some guy you just ‘met’?”
How did Will make finger quotes so damn sarcastic? She knew he would find a way to be horrible about the circumstances. Whatever. Sarcasm didn’t change the fact that he hadn’t denied anything.
“You didn’t punch him and throw money in his face?” she shot back hotly.
Will dodged the question. “Did Jordan fuck you stupid? Or are you always so trusting of your one-night stands?”
EJ gripped her quilt tightly with both hands. “This”—she lifted her clenched fists—“is me not slapping the hell out of you because I don’t want to explain your bruises.” She pushed herself to the edge of the bed.
“I believe Jordan because, number one, there’s no way he knew that we knew each other, and there was no advantage for him in inventing such an elaborate lie about some random TV actor. Two, he said you called him a ‘grease-stained nobody.’ That detail was particularly convincing because it isn’t too far from what you called me at the Fall Formal: a lady pimp in a cheap sequin dress, right?” EJ looked up sharply, silencing any justifications.
The actor tensed and swallowed. “I think we’ve gotten to know each other better since then.”
She crossed her arms. “Have we, Will? Really? We’ve watched a movie, played some board games, and had a few polite conversations, but that’s it. If I add it up, I’ve probably spent as much time in your company as Jordan’s. And he never insulted me.”
She sat up with all the dignity she could muster. “I think a better question is why should I believe you? Like Maya Angelou said, when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
“And who am I to argue with the great Maya Angelou?” he said sardonically. Will ran his hands through his hair in a gesture of frustration. “And that’s your final word on things.”
“That’s how I feel.” EJ folded her arms as she watched him cross the room.
Will made his way to the door angrily.
“What I don’t understand is why you care. I’ve already said I won’t tell anyone, especially Tessa, Jamie, or Lee. You’re getting away with it.”
He turned back to her, nearly shouting, “I did nothing wrong. I was protecting her! I did what I had to do.”
People do love protecting young women from their own choices, she thought. “I don’t understand why we’re still having this conversation.”
“I want you to hear my side!” he cried.
EJ scrubbed her face with her hands. “Again, why?” she shot back. “Until a couple weeks ago, I was just the girl you had to fake politeness to so Lee wouldn’t be mad. Congratulations, you don’t have to pretend anymore. I’m the one removing myself.”
Will laughed bitterly in response and turned toward the door. “You’re right. Lee and Jamie are doing great. We don’t need to be anything to each other.” He threw on his coat and hastily tugged on his gloves.
EJ looked back to the desk and noticed that the present was still there. “Will, please take your gift,” she said to his stiff back.
“No. It’s not a gift anymore. It’s a bet.” Will looked at her over his shoulder. “If I know Jordan Walker at all, you’re going to find out just how wrong you are before the spring semester ends. On that day, I want you to open that bag and know just what you gave up for him.” With that, Will thundered down the stairs and into the cold December night.
EJ remained at the edge of her bed for some time, staring at the linoleum floor. Nothing about the exchange felt victorious. And Will looked so hurt—not guilty, not just angry, but hurt. She found that wholly bewildering. Lifting the gift, for the first time EJ noticed that the bag was patterned with shimmering stars. She was confused by this thoughtfulness. Frankly, she was confused by everything. She stuffed the bag into her bottom desk drawer and closed it with a slam.
“Since when does he care what I think?” EJ demanded of her empty room. In the responding silence, she went back to packing. She couldn’t wait to be gone; the dorm felt like a crime scene.
<
br /> CHRISTMAS BREAK
Will
Though he’d never been a big fan of the show, today Will was intensely grateful for Saturday Night Live. It was the reason Zara hadn’t left for Providence as planned. The original host had caught the flu, and now she was going to be hosting the Christmas episode. It was great for Zara and good for Will. He needed to talk with someone who knew the whole truth about Jordan and wasn’t Lily. After texting her from the runway, Will hopped a cab from JFK straight over to 30 Rockefeller. He dropped into her dressing room to vent—and, embarrassingly, cry.
Zara hugged him for a full three minutes, then listened, taking off her stage makeup as he raged. Once she had a clean face, she told Will that they were hitting up the new Austrian bakery four blocks over to talk things through. Before long he was eating a very good Sacher-Torte with an even better espresso. Zara was rehashing his fight with EJ to see if she’d missed anything.
“So EJ hit you with vague accusations from Jordan. Did she say what they were?”
“No, she clammed up after she mentioned his name. I think she’s worried about violating his privacy. The poor fool. Jordan’s smart. He’s using EJ’s high-and-mighty sense of honor against her.” Will took another large bite of his dessert. It was fantastic, though he couldn’t say he was enjoying it.
Zara shook her head. “I don’t understand why she still believed him after you told her about Lily?”
Will swallowed his mouthful. “I didn’t tell her anything,” he replied bitterly. “She’s not entitled to my sister’s story after the way she treated me. She’ll find out the hard way.”
He glanced over at his friend. She sat up stiffly and folded her arms. He must have failed some sort of test, again.
“You would let her fall into one of his traps because she wouldn’t go out with you?” Zara’s voice rose. “You know what kind of man he is. You know what he’s capable of!”
Will looked around. Thankfully the bakery was empty. He couldn’t look at Zara right now.
Zara pursed her lips. “Let me ask you. If there had been a guy in Lily’s class at Hanover Academy who knew about Jordan but also had the sweetest crush on her . . . if that guy decided not to warn Lily out of spite—for any reason—would you ever forgive him? Think a moment before you respond.”
Will felt his face flush but remained mutinously silent. After all, they both knew the answer.
“I just don’t understand why she believed him about me!” he cried.
Zara rubbed her forehead. “Okay, take me back. What did you do for EJ after the Fall Formal?”
Will tilted his head in confusion. “What do you mean?”
Zara dropped her head back. “Remember when you were a mean, snotty asshole to everyone for a night, including a bunch of people you just met? It’s the same night you got drunk and passed out in public.”
Will bit his lip and frowned. He didn’t remember that night, but both Zara and Lee had brought it up since then. “I sent you flowers, right?” he replied.
“And you sent chocolates to my mom for her birthday, which she loved. But how did you apologize to EJ? What did you do for her?” Zara leaned in with a slight edge to her voice.
Will was silent. He felt his shame growing.
Zara threw up her hands. “Okay. So you don’t apologize for talking shit behind EJ’s back and then being an asshole in what you now know is her favorite place.”
“I didn’t know she heard me,” he almost whispered.
“But you damn well know what you said. And what you did after.” She leaned forward like a movie detective in an interrogation. “Because if I’m EJ, I’m noticing a pattern. I’m not even worth a verbal apology from you until my best friend is dating your best friend. That’s why she doesn’t trust you.”
Will groaned. “Why can’t you be on my side here? You know everything that Lily and I went through with Jordan.”
Zara gave him a long look. “Who are you talking to? Do I look like Lee? Because that’s who you call if you need someone to listen and pretend you did nothing wrong. I’m the one who calls you on your bullshit. And don’t ask me to wait for a ‘good time.’ You are the biggest asshole when you’re hurting, and you need to hear this before you cut another person out of your life.”
She drained the last of her coffee and shifted in her chair. “So we both know that EJ is wrong now. But isn’t it mostly because you were wrong in the past?”
Will made a noise of protest, but Zara cut him off with a look. “Stay with me: In a world where you roll up to Longbourn still dating Carrie and not lashing out, maybe EJ hears Jordan’s story and thinks, ‘That’s far fetched.’ Instead, you gave her all the reason in the world to believe the worst of you that first night. By your own account, you’ve only been nice to her since October.”
Will knew she was right, but also knew there was no way he was apologizing. “If I promise to warn her off, can we never talk about EJ again?”
Zara held her hands up mollifyingly. “If that’s the way you want to play it. I won’t mention her name.” She glanced across the table at him. He must have looked pretty pitiful, because her expression instantly softened. “I’m sorry things went down the way they did.”
Will bit his bottom lip. “You and me both.”
They were silent for a little while; then Zara spoke again. “Are you mad?”
Will sighed and shook his head. Mad wasn’t the right word. “I just feel down. It sucks,” he said wearily.
“Do you and Lily still want to do Christmas in Providence? Sean will be there, too.”
He brightened. “We’ll be there with bells on.”
Will had it on good authority that Zara’s boyfriend was going to propose at Christmas. He wouldn’t miss it for the world, even if she had just spent the last twenty minutes reading him the riot act. “You know you’re the best big sister a guy could have, right?”
Zara wrinkled her nose in a charming way, then checked the time on her phone and put on her coat. “I’d better get back to our rehearsal.” They gathered their dishes and put them in the bus bin. “You got anything going this week?”
He wrapped his scarf around his neck and paused thoughtfully. “I’m meeting with Katerina, and then Lily and I have meetings with our accountants, and I’m getting lunch with my property manager, getting new tenants for my condo.”
Will’s maternal side of the family didn’t believe in renting. If a Chiu went to New York for college, like his mom, or took a job in Melbourne, like his (also deceased) uncle, they received an apartment as a gift. They were then encouraged to get roommates and live off the rent. Through this practice and too many family deaths, Will and his sister owned a lot of property. He inherited the places in North America while Lily received the houses in the UK and Australia. They kept up the family tradition and rented out the property, though, because he was a little more conscious about the damages of gentrification than his predecessors. He charged about half as much as he could and asked his trust to give preference to artists and academics.
Zara tilted her head thoughtfully. “If you’re really wanting work, hang out for the rest of today’s rehearsal, and we’ll see if we can get you into a sketch. Just make sure to avoid anyone with a nasty-sounding cough. The flu has been taking cast members out left and right.”
“Are you serious?” Will asked hopefully.
Zara nodded. “I’ll try and use whatever sway I have. I think they like me.” She smiled at him.
He paused at the door to the street. “Let me sweeten the deal with a couple of boxes of pastries,” he said, returning to the bakery’s counter. “If I know comedians, this should make us friends for life.”
On Christmas Day, Zara’s family gathered in the living room in matching pajamas. They’d just finished unwrapping gifts when her boyfriend, Sean, asked everyone to help him find one last present. After some theatrical searching, he located the gift he was after. To Will’s enormous satisfaction, Zara was genuinely surprised whe
n it turned out to be a vintage engagement ring with a sapphire stone. Sean teared up as he took Zara’s hand.
“It’s hard to believe that four years ago we couldn’t stand each other,” he began.
“I thought you were a prick.” Zara sniffed. There was a shared ripple of laughter. Lily found Will in the small crowd and slid her arm through his. They smiled at each other. It was exciting to be here for this moment.
“You weren’t wrong. Back then I’d never been challenged the way you challenged me. I also never had someone who believed in me the way you believe in me. You make me better: a better man, a better writer, a better son, and a better friend. And if you think it’s a fair trade, in exchange, I’d like to spend the rest of my life making you happy.”
He dropped to one knee, and Will surprised himself by cheering with everyone else.
“Zara Selena Hernandez Castillo, will you marry me?”
Will didn’t hear her say yes, but that was because she seemed to be beyond words. Zara had started bawling about a third of the way through Sean’s proposal. He’d barely gotten the ring on her finger before she was pulling him into a kiss. He looked at her family. Mom and stepdad, father and girlfriend, her elder sisters and their kids. Everyone who cared for her rooting for them at this moment. There was just so much love in the room.
As he discreetly wiped a tear from his eye, Will felt Lily give him a warm squeeze.
“Don’t be ashamed of your tears, big brother,” she said quietly. “This is a beautiful moment that they both fought for. It’s okay to recognize that.”
He swallowed hard and said something he’d never thought he would say out loud. “I want this so damn bad, Lily. I want to love someone wholly and for them to love me.”
“I know you’ll find her, Will. The same way I know I’m going to have my version of a normal life again.”
It was the most hopeful Lily had sounded since their gran died. She’d been living with their gran since returning from two successive stints of rehab, running errands and eventually managing the household. Lily thrived.
The Bennet Women Page 15