With each passing second that I try to unravel the information sprawling inside of me, the more the bracelet takes control.
Trying to hold it back, I slow my breathing, needing the bracelet’s bond just as much as I need the Nevithan lights to cool the burn pumping through my blood.
I focus completely on Garvien, remembering every grotesque detail about him, hoping that one of those pinpricks will flourish into something greater and lead me right to him.
When my nails begin to ache, rapidly changing into talons and my mouth feels full of teeth that don’t belong to me, something weird and truly frightening begins to happen.
The fiery pain of the bracelet’s wrath alters, encasing me with an altogether different sensation, one that takes my breath away with such potent intensity. The sinister awareness no longer feels disgusting, the ungodly sense of evil which the bracelet unleashes within me, falls away, instead the scorching acid which flows through my veins feels good, intoxicatingly so.
With each passing second, I fall deeper into the feeling of wholeness, in a way I never have before. The creatures beyond my hiding place, no longer feel like the enemy, even as my connection to them grows, flowering into far more than I have ever been. They are part of me and I’m part of them. Like leaves on a tree, we are not individual, we do not serve ourselves. We are connected, we are working towards a common goal, surviving so our central self, our main being, can flourish.
When one of us falls, drifting into the wind to coat the earth with our remains, it doesn’t matter, just as long as the trunk of our being, our very internal essence, stands tall. Our leaders are all that matters. Our lives, we will give, for theirs.
I no longer feel the ache of such foreign energies radiating through me. I drift with it, feeling the emotions of those I’m forever connected to. A part of my mind, secluded and frightened, fights against this anomaly, but a bigger part of me wants nothing more than to accept it, to feel like I truly belong somewhere, to have a purpose beyond my own life.
The thought is thrilling and I delve further into the delusion of mass thinking, reaching out to the creatures that I’m now part of, no longer searching for Garvien, my original plan slipping away.
Just when I feel myself sinking into the mob mentality, the dynamics begin to switch. I don’t need my eyes open to sense the blood-red jewel glowing spectacularly, I can sense its power radiating throughout me, but not just me, them too.
The pull of the creatures lessens, their connection changes, not diminishing but a distinct distance grows between us. I try desperately to hold onto the sensation of belonging but it slips away, like water draining through dry sand, I can’t hold onto it no matter how hard I try.
I can still feel them, sense not only where they are but also their desires. They are no longer a part of me, but beneath me. To them I am no longer a leaf on the tree as they are, I am transforming, changing from leaf, to branch to trunk. I am so much more than they are. I can feel it, growing yet not complete.
I know what is happening as their emotions multiply inside my mind, whispering truths which turn my blood cold. The bracelet screams out desires through my entire being, demanding the reign of power it was created for and like a magnet, I feel the pull of desire to serve one, and only one, my king.
Veridom’s dark soul calls out to me. All the other creatures fall away; they are lesser than I am, they mean nothing compared to me and my king. He is powerful, but so am I.
The truth as to why Garvien has hounded me, sought me out with added attacks on the Prytorian Realm and his attempted kidnapping of my mother, becomes obvious to me now.
It’s the bracelet. It is the key to everything.
Chapter Fifteen
A thunderbolt of pain like no other rips through me, radiating through my skull, sending my thoughts scattering as the lightning intensity rushes down my spine and into my arm, burning so fiercely my skin feels like it’s melting from my bones.
My eyes fling open, not seeing anything but pitch blackness as the connection which claimed me so completely dissolves with my bloodcurdling scream.
A hand clamps across my mouth, silencing me instantly and within seconds my lungs burn, the lack of oxygen bringing me back into the reality of the present, chasing away any lingering connection that only moments ago was my everything.
Zaneth kneels before me, one hand wrapped against my face, stopping me from alerting every creature within hearing distance to our location, little does he know that they probably not only know exactly where I am, but also how important to their entire system that I have become.
My eyes follow his arm, leading down to see his hand clamped around the bracelet, blood oozing from my skin as he still twists it in his vice-like grip and suddenly the immense pain makes sense.
The bracelet is holding onto my wrist with all the power it contains, and Zaneth is trying his best to pull it off, ripping my skin from my arm in his quest.
A moan of pain bursts inside my chest, and I don’t know which is worse, the bracelet’s death grip or my lungs shrivelling up like an unfilled balloon.
Zaneth doesn’t let up on the bracelet, but mercifully he releases his hold across my face just enough for me to breathe through my nose, and I fill my lungs deeply, each breath chasing away the disillusion I was under and grounding me firmly back into the present.
He must see the clarity returning to my eyes as he hesitantly releases the bracelet, still keeping my mouth under wraps.
“Are you back with me, Rayna?” He doesn’t trust me, I can see it in his eyes, doubt making the pools of brown turn pitch black in the darkness of this never-ending night.
I nod, unable to speak while his sweaty palm covers my mouth. Even if I could talk, what would I say? Oh, sorry Zaneth. For a moment or two I didn’t care about you, or Blay or all of Prytora. Nothing mattered except my connection to the very monsters we came here to kill.
Yeah, I bet that would go down really well. He’d probably kill me on the spot, allegiance to hell, kill me before I kill all of them.
Suddenly ‘them’ is a whole new concept. I may be back to my old self, the talons withdrawn and the transformation stamped back down, but I can still feel the lingering kinship that had consumed me so readily and no matter how much I want to, I can’t shake it.
One by one, his fingers unclench, leaving my mouth free, and for a fleeting moment I don’t know what I will do. The temptation to scream out to the Zantronians is almost overwhelming, their absence within my soul feels cold and unbearably lonely.
“Rayna?” Zaneth sits back on the balls of his feet, giving me the distance I need to adjust while staying close enough that he can subdue me again if necessary.
“I’m okay,” my voice cracks and we both know I’m lying.
“What the hell just happened?”
I blink rapidly, trying to bring myself back under control, the logical part of me knowing that I should pull myself together as we are fast running out of time.
“We need to get out of here.” I swallow back the bile which threatens to spill from my stomach from having to force out the words that a large part of me wants to deny.
“I’ll open the portal back to Prytora.” He reaches for the bundle of powder at his waist, but I stop him, grabbing his arm before he gets a chance to pull it free.
“No.” I shake my head, knowing that I can’t go back yet. I don’t hold onto the fact that a major part of me never wants to go back, but to stay here forever.
“We came here to rescue Blay and we are sticking to that plan.”
“I don’t know what just happened to you, Rayna, but I don’t want to push our luck too far. You can go back to Prytora and I will stay on here.”
“I’m not leaving, Zaneth.” My old self emerges with a flourish of rage that is all mine. The feeling of my own determination feels unbelievably good and I clutch onto it, holding it like a lifeline, clinging onto me with all the strength I can muster.
I climb to my feet,
flicking blood from my wounded hand onto the dusty ground below.
“We don’t have time to argue here. Veridom knows we are here and so will the others. It won’t take long for them to come for us, so we have to move now.”
Zaneth cocks an eyebrow, suspicion making his lips twitch.
“How does he know that we are here and more importantly, how do you know what he knows?”
“None of that matters right now.” I peer around the boulder, spotting a group of Zantronian fighters huddled together. In the darkness I can barely make them out, yet I know what they are doing, they are searching for their broken connection to me, trying to find my exact location and it won’t take them long.
“We need to move, now.”
I duck down, making myself as small as possible as I run full speed in the opposite direction, using the piles of rock to cover me as much as possible. Zaneth may be far larger than I, but he blends into the shadowy darkness with ease, making me curse my pasty complexion.
We run, ducking behind any covering we can reach, never once slowing down or taking a break. Both of us know the dangers that lurk behind us, tracking us just as intently as we are trying to do with Blay. I don’t explain to Zaneth why I move at such a feverish pace, leaving behind the guilt-ridden girl who could barely hold it together before. It’s as if he can sense the confliction within me and knows to keep moving so I don’t fall behind or worse yet, turn back willingly to those that hunt us.
With each step, the distance creates a void within me, severing the last remnants of connection I had to them, and for that I’m grateful. It allows my head to fill with thoughts of my mission.
Find Calasis. Find Blay. Get the hell out of here.
I come back into myself with a snap of energy, my inner stubbornness returning tenfold, ramping up to willingly take over all control, while cussing me for my weakness. Trying to connect to Garvien had been a stupid move, albeit a good plan, but stupid nonetheless. I just never contemplated how powerful the bracelet could be. Oh I know it’s strong, its powers beyond what I can handle, obviously. But for it to adjust my point of view so completely that I actually wanted to be with them, to be one of them. That’s taking dangerous to a whole new level; one I can’t fathom right now.
“Rayna,” Zaneth’s quiet call brings me to a sudden stop and I turn to find him hunched over and for a moment my heart seizes. Is Zaneth hurt? How could that be? He was right beside me a second ago and the fighters haven’t caught up to us. Why then is he bent over, his face scowling at the ground instead of running like crazy as I am?
I scan behind us, not backtracking until I confirm that we haven’t been spotted yet. Part of me is secretly disappointed when I don’t see any Zantronians hot on our heels, but mostly I’m pleased that for the moment I don’t have to question myself or my loyalties.
Rushing back to Zaneth I reach out, placing my hand on his shoulder as I bend down in front of him, taking in the lines of sweat dripping down his scowling face.
“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” my voice is small, fear for his safety ultimately evaporating the lingering anger I hold against him.
What will I do if Zaneth is injured? I can’t carry him and I refuse to leave him here for the fighters to ultimately torture and consume. Imagine the feast they would get out of Zaneth – the thought rolls my stomach, and I gladly hold onto the nausea as a sign that I’m back to my old self and not relishing in the Zantronians delicacies.
My mind fills with Mum’s face, the exact moment I saw her gazing up at Zaneth like he was her everything, the same way she used to look at Dad, the same way I always dreamed someone would look at me.
If something happens to Zaneth on this expedition, it would be my fault. I would be the reason Mum would suffer through loss once again. I can’t do that to her, no matter how much she’s hurt me. I swear I will get Zaneth back in one piece, back to her and to hell with my own pain of her betrayal, if that really even is what it was.
And how would I feel, honestly, to lose Zaneth, someone who has been by my side, on my side, throughout my entire time on Prytora, he has never once let me down, he has been the rock I’ve needed to get me through, particularly since Blay was taken. I rely on him. I need him too.
“Come on, Zaneth, tell me what’s wrong.”
Zaneth finally meets my frightened gaze, the realisation of my exploding thoughts registering at once, and his face softens, his voice full of understanding once he finally answers.
“Nothing is wrong with me, Rayna, I’m uninjured.”
I release the breath I didn’t realise I had been holding, my muscles turning to jelly as I begin to slightly shake with the overload of adrenaline coursing through me. How much worse is this day going to get?
“Look.” Zaneth points to the ground where he had been staring at so intently.
“What is it?” I make out nothing but trampled dust, no matter how much I squint.
“Tracks,” he says simply, his eyes scanning around us.
“Tracks?” I look around, unsure how he can see anything in the darkness. “Tracks from what?”
He points to a smudge right in front of me and I can barely distinguish what he is meaning.
“They are too small to be Zantronian, and the pattern looks to be of our warrior’s boots. I think Calasis and his group came through this way.”
Calasis. He’s been here. We are on the right path even if it’s completely by coincidence.
“Can you tell which way they headed?” Hope fills me with renewed energy.
He points off into the distance, the landscape no different to what surrounds us, just more of the same darkness and endless rock piles.
“If we follow the tracks they should lead us right to them.” Zaneth raises, stretching out his shoulders as he glances behind us. “We won’t be able to move at such speed, in this light I will easily lose the tracks if I’m not careful.”
I know what he’s implying without him having to say it. If we slow down then the chances of the fighters gaining on us increases dramatically. But it’s a risk we must take. If we don’t, then we could be running around this damn planet aimlessly for hours.
“Okay, let’s go.” I shift to his rear now, leaving him to concentrate on following the right path while I watch our backs. One advantage of being chased down by a group of Zantronian fighters is that their sleuthing skills are minimal. An unexpected attack is highly unlikely, I will hear them coming well before I see them. At least that will give me time to prepare…. for what, I don’t exactly know.
We move to a slow jog, Zaneth’s eyes scan the ground while mine drift across the horizon all around us. Slowly the landscape takes on a new shape. The rock piles gain in height, eventually becoming more solid, taking shape of cliffs and branching off into several different directions.
Zaneth comes to a standstill, bending down to touch the gritty earth before sighing heavily.
“Have you lost the trail?” I don’t want to say it, knowing we will have to double back to find it again if he has, and that is precious time we don’t have right now.
“No.” He stands, his face set into a scowl. “They must have come through here, but they have split up, with some tracks leading off down that gully.”
I stare off into the direction he is pointing, not seeing much of anything beyond intimidating inkiness and shadowy nothingness. The two paths, that have forked to give us an option that we don’t want, have no identifying characteristics to lead us in the right direction.
“Why would they have split up?” I say, frustration colouring my voice.
“Could be many reasons, none which will help us right now.”
“Well, which way do you think Calasis went?”
The longer we stand idle the more advantage it gives our pursuers. We have to make a decision, and fast.
Zaneth stands stock-still, his eyes closing tightly while his head inclines, cocking his ear to the wind. I don’t know what he’s doing because I can’t hear
anything beyond the blood pumping in my ears, but before I know it, he turns to the left, his eyes blinking open, his face smoothing with intention.
“We go this way.”
My eyes dart between the two paths again, seeing no indication of life down either of them.
“How do you know?” I question.
“It’s the way I would go if I was Calasis.”
“But does that mean it’s the right path, the path that leads to Blay?”
“We’ll soon find out.” He takes off running, no longer searching for tracks as there is no other direction to follow once we emerge around the bend.
For as far as I can see there is nothing but a straight line; a crevice eaten into the very cliffs of the cutting rocks. We run, for what seems like hours, until my muscles quiver with exhaustion and I feel all hope fade into the same nothingness which surrounds us.
Zaneth never falters, even if he can feel what I too can sense. The Zantronians are still on our trail, never stopping from their hunt and yet still we run, not slowing to let our bodies rest, knowing to do so would lead to us being caught.
I get the worrying feeling of being herded. Pushed down a stock-run, like nothing more than cattle, towards the ultimate ending of eventual death. Right now, my body wouldn’t mind that fate, anything just to stop and lie down, hell even a sip of water before being slaughtered would be a nice blessing.
The sky above us begins to lighten, taking on the russet tone of a scorched horizon, sending orange tainted light into the crevice which we run through. Even though the promise of a new day lightens our way, it’s not a good sign, it means we have been here for far too long and yet we are still no better off than when we first portaled in.
Without warning, Zaneth comes to a complete stop, turning mid-stride to grab me, throwing my body against the cliff-face while he too leans in against the shadowy protection of the rocks.
Sharp daggers of stone dig into my back and I’m suddenly thankful that Zaneth forced me to wear the cumbersome battle armour - no matter how restricting and heavy it is - or right now I would have a slab of stone piercing through my lungs.
Fallen Paladin (The Paladin's Curse Book 2) Page 12