by Lyssa Layne
I softly kiss her shoulder and whisper, “I’ll take care of you, Sloan. Be mine and I’ll take care of you forever.”
Sloan
Smitty’s breathing is shallow as my head rests on his chest. We took our time on the deck making love. That was exactly what it was too. It wasn’t about sex or orgasms. No, it was about the two of us being one, accepting the past and moving on with our future—together. I honestly never thought I’d have a future with someone other than Cooper, especially not after his death, but Smitty’s made me believe that it could happen. Content, my finger moves in lazy circles around his chest.
Just when I think he’s asleep, he kicks his leg out from under the blanket. “Sorry, babe, it’s hot in here,” he apologizes and kisses my forehead.
Smiling, I shrug, just happy to be next to him. My hand slides over his stomach, past his waist, and stops on his Roman numerals tattoo. I turn my head to look up at him. “Okay, your turn. What’s the story behind this tattoo?”
Beneath me, Smitty’s body tenses. He pushes up so he’s leaning back against the headboard. He pulls me so I’m sitting beside him. I cross my legs and face him, taking his hand and lacing our fingers together. I give his hand a squeeze. He takes a deep breath and turns to me. His free hand runs his fingers through my hair as he looks deep into my eyes. My lips turn up at his beautiful green and yellow eyes.
“You’re not the only one that’s lost their significant other,” he says, moving his hand from my hair and touching his tattoo. “I was supposed to get married last June, the sixth. I was at the church, dressed and ready to go when I found out my bride wasn’t coming.”
I lean forward and kiss him softly, my heart aching for the pain he felt that day. At least I got six months of wedded bliss with Cooper, he wasn’t that lucky. “Smitty, I’m so sorry.”
He nods and goes on with his story. “Caroline had her hair and make-up done, but before she came to the church, she made one more stop, somewhere on Hampton Avenue. Except she didn’t make it to the church. When she was walking back to her car, a drunk driver jumped the curb and hit her.”
My head spins and I feel sick to my stomach. I was there that day, Cooper’s birthday. I talked to Smitty’s bride. She told me all about her groom. No wonder Smitty seemed so familiar to me from day one. Caroline, although I never knew her name, spoke of Jacob, aka Smitty, like the sweetheart that he is. I knew June sixth tattooed on Smitty’s leg couldn’t mean anything good.
“Like an idiot, I was hanging out, joking around at the church with Jules and the guys while Caroline lay in the street, dying. By the time I got the message that she’d been in an accident, I’d missed her phone call, missed hearing her say her last words myself, but rather in a voicemail.”
Through my tears, I can see the same in Smitty’s eyes. I want so badly to reach out to him, to console him, but he doesn’t know the truth about that day. I left before the cops arrived. They had no idea I was even there. The only proof that I was there is that voicemail left on Smitty’s phone. Smitty’s hand tightens on mine and he pulls me to him, my head against his chest.
“Caroline didn’t die in my arms, like Cooper did. No, she died alone, on the hard concrete with no one to tell her how loved she was.” Smitty pulls my chin up so I’m forced to look at him. “So when I tell you, Sloan, that I’ll protect you. I mean it, not just for Cooper, but for Caroline, too. Neither of them deserved to die the way they did and I’m going to do everything in my power to keep you safe from anything and everything.”
My skin is crawling. It’s like I’ve entered the Twilight’s Zone and all I can do is nod. Quickly, I bury my head against Smitty’s chest, wrapping my arms around him tightly. I will never be able to look him in the eyes again. Above me, Smitty cries softly, stroking my hair, trying to console both of us, but he has no idea the true reason for my tears.
An hour later, his tears have quieted, my head is bobbing up and down steadily on his chest, and his breathing has shallowed. This is my chance. Slowly, inch by inch, I scoot out of his arms. Tiptoeing to my suitcase, I grab my leopard print tote and shove my essentials into it. Searching the ground, I pull on the first thing I find, which happens to be Smitty’s shirt I was wearing earlier and my torn leggings. With a pen, I write a note and leave it on the nightstand. Picking up my bag and sliding on flip flops, I watch Smitty sleep just a few moments longer then open the door and run out just as quickly as I came in. Behind me, I leave my suitcase filled with my clothes, but most importantly, I’m leaving my heart, because I won’t be giving it to anyone else again.
CHAPTER 17
Smitty
Mmm…only today and then Sloan’s family heads home early tomorrow. Then, I’ll get her all to myself. Well, until we get back to St. Louis, but at least back home, we won’t be surrounded by them twenty-four/seven like we are now. Not that I don’t like them. Okay, I’m talking myself into a hole. Good thing this conversation is only in my head.
Blinking, I rub my eyes, letting them adjust to the sunlight pouring in through the balcony doors. Despite the dark places we visited in memory, last night felt good. It felt like a bridge from our sorrowful pasts to our bright future. Once my eyes have adjusted, I notice Sloan’s not in bed. I throw my legs off the mattress and walk out onto our porch, Sloan loves drinking her morning coffee out there. The salty sea air greets me, but no Sloan.
I walk back inside, but I don’t hear the shower and the light isn’t on in the bathroom. Her pink leopard print suitcase is still lying in the middle of the floor, along with most of her clothing, maybe she headed out for an early jog. Her hot pink and turquoise Nikes staring at me from the corner of the room quickly push that thought away. I get the feeling that Sloan probably isn’t the most tidy person to live with.
Walking into the bathroom, I turn on the water to brush my teeth. I bet she went to check on her sister after her wedding night. Although, if I’d ever gotten married, I don’t think I’d want visitors at seven in the morning, but Sissy and Sloan are tight so maybe she doesn’t mind.
The minty toothpaste fizzes in my mouth as the bristles of my toothbrush move around my teeth. Maybe I should set up something romantic for our one day alone in paradise. I’m thinking roses sprinkled all over the room, chocolate covered strawberries, maybe I’ll see if I can get my room upgraded to the honeymoon suite that I had originally booked. Rinsing out my mouth, I nod my head, things are turning around. The dark cloud that has been hanging over me since Caroline died is finally gone. It doesn’t mean that I love Caroline any less, or that I’m over her, but knowing Sloan and I have been through the same thing, means we can lean on each other for support while we grow our own relationship.
Walking back into the main room, I stub my toe on that damn leopard suitcase. Jumping up and down as pain throbs from my baby toe all the way up my leg, I notice a piece of paper sitting on the nightstand. Hobbling to the bed, I take a seat and pick it up. Quickly, I skim the note, not believing what it says.
Jacob,
This week together has meant more to me than you’ll ever know. As much as I want to continue things with you back home, I just can’t. If I told you why, you’d never want to see me again and I wouldn’t blame you. I’m so sorry that you and Caroline never got your happy ending, I wish things could’ve been different for so many reasons.
Take care of yourself.
Sloan
I lean over, elbows on my knees. I can’t breathe, it’s like all the air is being sucked out of the room. Why is Sloan running? Maybe she thinks I’m moving on too quickly after Caroline’s death. I need to talk to her. Let her know I’m not rushing, that I don’t want us to rush. I just need time with her. I drag my hands over my face. Why do I always fall so hard, so fast?
I look at the clock. We didn’t fall asleep until after midnight. There’s no way she’s already gone. Jumping up, I pull on a pair of basketball shorts and take off running out of my room, down the hallway. I don’t care that I don’t have shoes on or
a shirt. I don’t care that all the staff is staring at me like I’m some kind of crazed person. Technically, I am. I’m crazy for Sloan and I have to tell her.
I don’t even stop to catch my breath, I immediately start pounding on Elaina and Roger’s door. No one answers. There’s no way anyone is still asleep, probably not even the neighbors with the noise I’ve created. “Sloan? I know you’re in there. Come on, babe, talk to me. I don’t know what—” The door swings open and Gavin stands before me.
“What do you want?” Gavin asks, his eyes narrowed and his arms crossed.
“Let me talk to Sloan,” I demand, not backing down from his attempt to intimidate me.
“She’s gone.”
“Bullshit. There’s no way she caught a flight already. I need to see her.” I can hear the desperation in my voice and Gavin’s frown turns into a smirk. If he wasn’t Sloan’s brother, I would’ve slugged him already.
“True, but she’s already at the airport.” The words are barely out of his mouth when I’m already turning, ready to go there myself. “She’ll be gone by the time you get there. Besides, she doesn’t want to see you.”
My heart drops, he’s right. I’d still be in the shuttle when she’s flying overhead. Despondently, I turn back to him. “Why?” It’s all I can manage to get out around the lump in my throat.
“She’s already had her heart broken once. She managed to put it back together and she’s not ready to have it fall apart again. She knows she’s just your rebound, which makes me sick that you would use her that way, but I’m not surprised. Either way, she wants nothing to do with you, so stay away.”
I start to object, but it’s no use. Gavin doesn’t care, although he’s far from being right. Sloan isn’t my rebound, but she’s gone. She didn’t want her heart to break again, but it’s too late for mine. Shattered, that’s what it is.
Sloan
Lying on the bed in the room I was supposed to share with my brother, I hear Gavin talking to Smitty. I cringe at the malicious words my brother is spewing at him. I desperately want to jump up and stop it, but I can’t. Squeezing my eyes closed, I try to block it out, but all I see is Smitty.
The door closes and I know Smitty’s gone. My mother chastises Gavin for the harsh tone he used with Smitty. They all know the truth and not for one second is any of this Smitty’s fault. The bed sags as someone sits on the mattress. An arm encircles me as they snuggle up to me, tucking their legs behind mine and resting their head against mine.
“You okay, Lolo?” my baby sister asks.
Tears continue to fall down my cheeks, but I nod, not looking at her. “It’s the day after your wedding. What are you doing in here?”
“Married or not, you’re still my sister and you’re hurting,” Sissy whispers, squeezing my hand.
I roll to my back to face her. “Why him? Of all men for me to finally fall for, why Jacob?”
Sissy strokes my hair, shrugging her shoulders slightly. “Why not him? You’re both single, you both need someone to understand what you’ve each been through. So why not him?”
I roll my eyes. “Sis, if he knew what really happened that day, he’d never speak to me again.”
“So you have two options. One, run away or two, tell him and see what happens.”
I bite my bottom lip, trying to stop the sob that wants to escape. “And what if he hates me?”
Sissy stops moving her hand and looks in my eyes. “What if he doesn’t?”
CHAPTER 18
Smitty
I stare at the empty seat beside me on the plane. Sloan should be sitting there. Her strawberry-scented hair teasing me, her hand in mine, her giggles filling my ears. Instead, it’s just me and the mini-bottles of vodka the stewardess gave me. Unscrewing the cap of all five bottles, I down them one after the other. I spend the majority of the rest of my flight doing the same, drinking myself into an oblivion, more depressed about life than when I left for the trip. A few hours later, the plane lands and I find myself in the baggage claim, staring at the carousel and the one bag left on it.
“Excuse me, sir? Is that your bag?” a security guard asks.
I glance up at him, trying to appear more sober than I actually am. I haven’t shaved or showered since Sloan left and I’ve spent the last two days in Jamaica just as drunk as I am now.
“Yeah,” I mutter, picking it up and making my way through customs. I walk through the door into the rest of the airport, leaning on the handle of the bags to keep from falling over. Maybe all that alcohol wasn’t such a good idea.
“Smitty!” Jules yells, waving her hands. Bentley stands behind her, smiling, but not drawing as much attention as she is. Jules runs to me, her dark ponytail bobbing behind her. “Where is she?” Jules asks, looking at the door I just walked out of.
I walk past her toward Bentley and mumble, “Who?”
She grabs my arm. “Come on, Smitty. Sloan. Where is she?”
“She left,” I answer and keep walking.
“Left?! What do you mean, she left? That wasn’t the plan!” Jules shrieks.
Spinning around to face her, I drop the handles of both bags I’m pulling behind me. “Know what wasn’t the plan, Julianna? Caroline dying. On our wedding day. That wasn’t the fuckin’ plan.”
Jules’ shoulders drop and she reaches out for me, but I pull away quickly, pushing her hand back. “Don’t. Don’t push your happiness on me. I’m glad that everything worked out with you and Bentley. That’s great, it’s perfect, it’s really fuckin’ awesome. For some of us though, it doesn’t work that way. Some of us get our hearts trampled on, not once, but twice. Almost in the same year. You know how awesome that is? No, you don’t and you wouldn’t. So go back in your perfect fuckin’ world where your biggest problem is whether or not to let him knock you up.” I jerk my thumb toward Bentley with the last statement. My body is shaking from the anger within me and a crowd has drawn around us since I’m now shouting.
Bentley steps between us, placing his hand on my chest and giving me a shove. “You’re out of line, Smitty. I know you’re hurt, but don’t take it out on Julianna. She was only trying to help.”
I shake my head and scoff. Yeah, some help. One week in paradise and I’m in worse shape than when I left. I walk past them, kicking the pink leopard suitcase I was carrying and hail a cab outside.
Sloan
Left hook, right jab-bam, bam, bam! I’m taking out all my aggression on the punching bag in my exercise room. It’s been three days since I left Jamaica and things haven’t gotten easier. I thought once I got back and jumped into work, everything would go back to normal. That’s how I overcame the loss of Cooper. It’s exactly what I did after Caroline’s accident, except that I left the country for six months immediately following both accidents. I sock the bag one more time, but when I go for another shot, someone grabs my hand from behind.
Immediately, I ram my elbow into my attacker’s stomach and stomp on his foot. I’m about to jam my palm in his nose when I hear him gasp and mutter.
“Fuck, Lo, come on.” Spinning around, my brother is doubled over, clutching his stomach. “Why do you always go crazy like that?”
I narrow my eyes at him and he holds up his hands. He knows damn well why I do that and he should know better than to sneak up on me. While he tries to catch his breath, I grab my water bottle and take a long drink, wiping the sweat off my forehead.
“I’d ask how you’re doing, but I think I can tell,” he finally says as he leans back against the wall.
“You knew who he was the whole time, didn’t you?”
After Caroline’s accident, Gavin was the first on the scene. Once the medics arrived, he took my statement and got me out of there before the press arrived or a bigger crowd gathered. I didn’t waste any time. I went straight to the airport and flew to the only place I knew I could go, no questions asked—Italy.
Gavin’s blank stare answers the question for me. I throw up my hands, walking toward him. “How could y
ou? Why didn’t you say anything? How could you just stand there and let me fall for him? HIM! Of all people, Gavin, you should’ve stopped me!”
By now, I’m shoving him against the wall and my brother stands there taking it, being my new punching bag. Gavin is my big brother and a cop at that. Of all people, I expect him to protect me, not just from other people, but from myself. Tears burn down my face and I drop to the floor, exhausted. I pull my legs to my chest and bury my head against my knees while I cry.
He moves his arm around my shoulders and pulls me to him. “I’m sorry, sis. You’re right, I should’ve said something, but… Lo, you were so happy. I hadn’t seen you smile like that since Cooper was around.”
I nod, lifting my head. “I know. And I was happy. Smitty was exactly what I needed. He made me feel again—feel wanted, needed… loved.” My heart flip flops at the confession. Smitty did all those things for me and so much more. He made me believe that I could love again. Tears well up in my eyes.
Gavin squeezes my shoulders and kisses my forehead. “Look, I promise I’ll never do it again. Deal?”
I slide my arm around my brother’s waist and give him a side hug. “Deal, but we don’t have to worry about that. I won’t be dating any time soon.”
Gavin grins. “What? You don’t want me to set you up with ‘ole Donut Dave from the day shift?”
I laugh and hit his leg. “Don’t even think about it.”
Gavin’s definitely not the most sensitive person in our family, but he doesn’t push like the others do, trying to force me to move on, date again, get over Cooper. I stand up and extend my hand to help him do the same.
“You owe me,” I comment with a raised eyebrow.
“Oh?”
I nod. “Yep. Two weeks of five a.m. runs. You, me, and Forest Park.”
He groans as he nods. “Fine…”