by Deja Voss
She’s way too young for me. Christ, she’s a virgin. Sure, I can tell by the way she carries herself that she’s mature beyond her years, but I just got back home, and I need to make some rational decisions for a minute.
“Come on,” she whispers. “I want you to teach me.” She interlaces her fingers with mine, and there’s no turning back now. I look around the room and make sure the other guys are right where they need to be. Esther’s probably going to kill me if she finds out I wrecked her golden goose, but no man in their right mind would turn Amber Jameson down.
That sequin dress she’s wearing hugs her perfect body in ways that make her look more naked than when she was up there dancing onstage. I had a feeling she was eye fucking me the whole time, and when she licked her lips and winked at me, I knew she was for real. It was like I was the only man in the room. And now, it’s going to be her and I, all alone for the first time, and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to contain myself.
Everything inside me is telling me I need to protect her, to save her from this life, to push her away so she doesn’t end up like Ava, but I remind myself things are different. Maybe protecting her and saving her means making her mine. A girl like Amber shouldn’t be taking her clothes off in front of a stranger for money.
She should be loved, cherished, worshipped. I don’t know if I’m the kind of man who can offer her that right now.
She pulls back the maroon silk curtain to the dimly lit room with the velvet couch in the corner. I look over my shoulder and make sure no one is watching us disappear in here. I know I’m supposed to be working security, but keeping my eyes on the girl who needs security the most here is important, I try to tell myself.
Keeping my hands off her is going to be impossible.
“Sit down,” she says in a breathy voice. “Get comfortable.” I can’t deny the throbbing in my jeans or that primal urge to just throw her over the couch and mark her, make her my own. No, I need to take it slow with her, at least for now. She has no idea what she’s getting into. She doesn’t know any better than to mess with a guy like me. This needs to be one hundred percent on her terms.
I sit on the couch, and she double checks the lock on the door behind the curtain. The sound of her high heels clicking on the tile make my dick grow harder with every tap.
She stands behind me, I smell her earthy perfume and feel her breath on my neck as I close my eyes and try to resist my desire to rip her dress in half with my bare hands.
“What are you doing here, Amber?” I growl.
“I’m trying to turn you on,” she whispers. If she took one look at the bulge in my jeans, she’d know that she already accomplished her mission. If she keeps kissing on my neck like that, it’s likely I’m going to blow a hole in my pants any minute now.
“Not that,” I say. “What are you doing here. In this club. This isn’t a place for girls like you.”
“You want me to go?” she asks innocently, dragging her hands down my chest, pressing her tits into my back.
“I want you to tell me why you’re up here taking your clothes off for money. I know you’re not in dire straits. Why are you doing this?”
“I guess I just like it,” she says. “Do you want me to dance for you now?”
“I want you to sit down,” I command. I tower over her as she sits on the couch, that mixture of fear and excitement in those pretty blue eyes as I gaze over her perfect body. “You like it, huh? Why’s that?” I ask, cupping her chin in my hand.
Her cheeks turn tomato red as she tries to turn her gaze from me and I can see the breath rise and fall in her chest. There’s something about seeing her squirm that makes me harder than I’ve ever been before. She’s there for the taking, she’s all mine, I could do whatever I wanted. So sweet and innocent with a twinge of naughtiness, she really is the perfect woman.
Her lip quivers as she opens her mouth to talk, but nothing comes out.
“Does it turn you on?” I ask. “Does it make you wet knowing all these men are thinking about fucking you?” I press my lips to her ear and she gasps; that one little sharp inhale nearly making me cum in my jeans.
“I don’t want any of them. When I dance, the only man I think about is you. I see the way you look at me, Micah,” she whispers.
“And how’s that?”
“Like you already know me, inside and out. Like you know exactly what I need.”
I part her thighs with my hands, her flesh trembling under my touch. Our lips touch, her tongue hungrily exploring my mouth as my fingers travel up her legs, running over her smooth skin.
“I do know exactly what you need, Amber,” I whisper, dragging my teeth lightly down her neck, sliding down the straps of her dress to expose her perfect pink nipples. I circle one with my tongue, bringing it to a hard peak. I gently blow on her wet flesh and she shivers, arching her back. “You need a man who knows how to handle a woman like you. You need somebody who knows exactly what to do with a perfect body like this.”
I slide her dress up, her beautiful pussy dripping with anticipation as I cup her round fleshy ass in my hands, as I circle my tongue around her puffy clit.
“Oh fuck,” she groans, edging herself back on the couch, but I grip her tighter.
“Relax,” I whisper, “I’m not going to hurt you.”
I’m sure she knows it by the way she’s wrapping her thighs around my head, and I look up at her face as I drag my tongue up and down her wet slit. She’s biting her lip, her eyes halfway closed, quiet moans escaping her mouth.
God, she’s sexy. I’d do anything to hear those moans every day for the rest of my life.
She rocks her hips against my face as she rakes her sharp fingernails through my hair.
“Micah,” she howls. Her clit throbs against my tongue, and I know she’s about to explode. “I’ve never…” Her words turn incomprehensible as she squeezes my head between her soft thighs, her body growing rigid. I could do this all night long, I’m instantly addicted to everything about her, her taste, the way her flesh feels, the way she screams. Watching her cum is probably the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I shower her thighs in kisses while she catches her breath. We both have places to be other than here, and even knowing that we have the rest of our lives to do this over and over again isn’t enough to make me want to stop touching her perfect body. I might be her first, but I want to be her last. I want her to be mine forever.
“I don’t want you dancing anymore, Amber,” I say. She nods enthusiastically, her eyes still crazy. “I’m not going to tell you what to do with your life, and you’re more than welcome to do whatever you want, but if you want to be my woman, you can’t have it both ways.”
“For real?” she asks. “You want to date me? Like a girlfriend and boyfriend thing?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
If I thought watching her cum was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, the smile on her face is a game changer. It lights up the whole room.
“Sorry,” she says. “I’m just… I didn’t think that’s how stuff like this worked. I figured you were a hump and dump kind of guy. I didn’t expect you to actually like me.”
“You’re going to have to learn how to stop talking down to yourself like that,” I shrug. “Otherwise, I think you’re perfect.”
She presses her lips to mine, and I hug her body close, feeling the warmth of her skin, smelling her hair, our future flashing before my eyes. Sure it’s fast, but she’s exactly what I need in this world. The timing of this is nothing short of perfect. For once, everything is falling in place for me.
“Can I still dance for you?” she asks, batting her eyes.
It’s going to be a long hard night battling with this aching in my pants. I run my hand up the back of her thigh and squeeze that perfect ass of hers.
“Any time.”
“Will you come to my room tonight when you’re done?” she asks.
I would go anywhere this girl wants me to. Sh
e’s going to be mine, no matter what it takes, and the thought of spending the whole night with her in my arms is a dream come true.
“Yes. You go now, though. You don’t need to be out there on the floor anymore.” I want her to be my woman, and I’ll admit I’m a jealous guy. I can’t be responsible for what I’d do if someone even looked at her the wrong way. Just knowing she’s going to be walking through a room full of men who saw her perfect naked body grinding on stage earlier makes me bubble with rage.
“Yes, sir,” she says with a wink that makes me want to throw her over my shoulder and carry her down to her room right this second. “I’m the third door on the left.”
With that, she disappears into the crowd.
My stomach turns.
I haven’t seen that room since the night I left this mountain in the first place. The room I grew up in. The room that I first fell in love in. The room that I experienced the hardest loss of my life in. It hits me like a ton of bricks; her face, her eyes, they’re so similar to Ava’s. I don’t know what seeing her in my old room is going to do to me.
CHAPTER 19
Amber:
I ’m trying my best to unpack this shit storm of a night, of a weekend, of a life as I hurriedly grab my stuff out of my locker, trying my best to avoid the other girls, but I can’t stop smiling. I probably look ridiculous right now, but my head is spinning and I haven’t even gotten into the champagne tonight.
“Well?” Sandy asks, poking me in the ribs. I nearly jump through the ceiling, nervous about how to approach the situation as a whole. “Did he love his lap dance?”
I don’t think I should tell her there wasn’t any dancing involved. At least that’s not what I would call what just happened back there. I don’t know what I’d call it. A powerful life altering experience? A sexual awakening? I’ve been to yoga retreats where we’ve sat in silent meditation for twenty-four hours straight but it sure as hell didn’t compare to whatever it was Micah did to me back there in that room. I’ve had my “chakras aligned” more times than I can count, but had I known letting someone touch me like that would feel so fucking great, I probably could’ve saved a lot of money over the course of my yoga training. I feel like I’m glowing. I’m definitely a new woman.
“Yeah,” I shrug, pulling on my yoga pants under my dress, trying to hide my smirk and pretend like I’m ignoring her.
“So are you still intact or did he bust you open like a slutty little piñata?”
“Stop,” I giggle. “I am not trying to have this conversation with you right now.” I grab my purse and shove the dollar bills down far enough that I can zip it up tight, pretending like I’m too busy for this conversation.
“Did you see his dick? What does it look like? Is it massive?”
“Sandy, stop being crude,” Jasmine grins. “We already know it’s huge. But does he know how to use it?”
“I swear to God, guys. I did not see his penis. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Whose penis did you not see, Amber?” I hadn’t even noticed Esther standing behind me, and I’m sure I’m white as a sheet. I know she’s not my mom, but I’m pretty sure she’s not going to be too happy about what I’ve done.
“Nobody’s?” I say softly.
“Thank God,” she sighs. “You know I have no problem with you dancing here, but I don’t want to be a party to your complete corruption.” She might not be a party, but she’s definitely a relation. I cringe at the thought of trying to explain the situation to her.
“Do you care if I call it a night?” I ask her, eager to get back to my room, eager to get out of this conversation. I was hoping that I could avoid her for the rest of the night and let Micah do my dirty work for me. He is her brother after all. He can tell her that he doesn’t want me dancing here anymore. I slide my hoodie over my head.
“I’ll walk you to your room,” she says with a smile.
“You don’t have to,” I insist, dreading the idea of being alone with her. She gave me this job. She took a chance on me, and now I’m technically screwing her over. Not exactly the best way to start off a relationship with my potential future sister-in-law.
“I want to,” she says, her hand on the small of my back. As we walk down the steps to the basement, I feel like I’m holding my breath. I’m definitely anxious as hell.
“I want you to know, I think my brother Micah is into you.”
“Really?” I stammer, trying to play innocent.
The way she rolls her eyes at me lets me know she isn’t buying my act. “I wish I could tell you to just go for it. You’re a nice girl, I think you’re alright and I like having you around, but I worry about him. I haven’t seen him for fifteen years, I know he’s been overseas a couple times, he’s just unpredictable. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
I look at her with concern. She obviously knows him better than I do, or at least did before he left all those years ago.
“I love him to death. He’s my brother after all. I don’t think he’d physically hurt you. I just mean, I don’t know if he’s here for the long haul or if he’s just in a bad place trying to get back on his feet. He’s a really great guy, but he’s had a rough life. We didn’t exactly have the best upbringing.”
“I appreciate that,” I tell her, pulling my keys out of my purse. “Everything you’ve done for me, Esther. I hope you know that.”
“I know you’re going to do whatever you want to do,” she laughs, shaking her head at me, “but I want you to know you can come to me with anything. Lord knows I’m in no place to judge.”
You can come to me with anything. I think about the reason why I came here in the first place. I’m going to hold her to that. Maybe not tonight, but soon. I’ve been around long enough to know that my real mother isn’t likely hanging around here, but maybe she can at least point me in the right direction as to where I can look next.
Or maybe I can just ask my new boyfriend. Chills run down my spine thinking about the way that sounds in my head. I get chills thinking about the way he makes me feel, the way I trust him with my body, even though I hardly know the man.
“What time do you have to leave tomorrow?” she asks. The weekend is coming to a close, and I need to get back home to Mama and Aunt June, and I have a full week of teaching class ahead of me, too. The reality of this dual life is starting to kick in, and I’m really not sure how I’m going to juggle it.
“Probably the earlier the better,” I say.
“Alright, well if I don’t see you, call me and let me know you got home safe. I hope you come back next weekend, but if anything changes, will you let me know?”
“I promise,” I tell her. She hugs me, and I close the door behind me, trying to sort out the whirlwind of events that was tonight. The only thing I want to think about is Micah, the way he touched my body, the way he made me feel like everything is going to be ok as long as I stick with him. The way he looks at me like I’m the only woman in the world.
And the fact that he’s going to be here with me, in my room, all night long in a few short hours. I’m nervous as I’ve ever been, and it’s not because I’m afraid of losing my virginity. If he wants it, it’s his for the taking.
I’m nervous because I know I could blink and this could all go away. Up here I feel so happy and free, but tomorrow, I need to face the reality of my life. I’m going to have to lie to everyone I know. I’m going to spend the whole week thinking about him when I need to be focusing on the people who have loved me my whole life, not just for the last forty-eight hours.
I pull the picture of my mother out of my purse and feel an overwhelming sadness. Is this how she felt too?
Is this why you had to run away, Mom? I ask out loud to no one. Was it easier for her to just run off and live life how she wanted to than try to be everyone’s everything? How could she give up on me, though?
She smiles back at me like she always does, leaving me with more questions than answers. It’d be nice to have someo
ne to talk to right now that knew my whole story. Living a life of lies is not something I was made to do. Before I let this man become my life, I need to let him into my truth. I need to tell him why I am here. I fold the picture back up and tuck it into the nightstand so I can show him when he gets here.
I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders and now I can finally enjoy what’s about to happen. I’m about to spend the night with a man for the first time in my life, and the thought of his mouth on mine, his gorgeous body pressed against my skin, his big strong hands touching me in all these places that I’d never shared with anyone turns me on all over again.
I’m gonna need a cold shower.
I strip down, folding my clothes neatly, knowing that I’ll probably never wear this scandalous dress underneath my hoodie and sweatpants again unless it’s for him. It feels good to get out of these ridiculous boots, go back to the girl that I am, the girl who barely puts on make-up other than mascara, and spends 90 percent of her time in yoga pants. Hopefully that girl is good enough for him because, although it’s fun playing dress up, I don’t really know how to be anyone but Plain Jane Amber Jameson when it comes down to it.
I take a long shower and can’t help but notice the fingerprints on my hips, the brush burn on my thighs, the marks he left on me. He’s so firm, but so loving, and these traces of him just get me even more excited. These next few hours are going to be long.
I dry my hair with a towel and brush out the knots. I slip into my favorite nightshirt. It’s definitely nothing like the lingerie I am sure these other girls around here wear. I don’t care. I have a feeling he won’t either.
I crawl under the covers, eyes wide open, staring at the bumps of plaster on the ceiling, trying to bore myself to sleep, but instead, I’m just rehearsing in my brain what I’m going to say to him. Maybe I’m cheesy and childish, but imagine him curled up next to me, arm around me, letting me pour my heart out while he plays with my hair like some sort of cheesy Hallmark movie boyfriend.