“What does that have to do with anything?”
Satisfied all was working, he turned around and regarded me with a gentle smile. “They love kids and especially babies. They can’t have any of their own—though it wasn’t for a lack of trying. They went through a lot of heartache, and even though they’ve sort of accepted things now, I know it still hurts them sometimes.”
“I had no idea,” I murmured. I rested a hand on my stomach. “I feel kind of bad. Maybe I shouldn’t be here... .”
“Don’t think like that,” he chided. “They’re not bitter. Like I said, they’re good people, and you carrying twins just makes their day. You could stay here as long as you wanted—you and the kids—and they’d be delighted. There’s nothing they won’t do for you.” His words sent a disconcerting reminder of Dorian’s constant What wouldn’t I do for you? quip.
I wondered if Roland had known about the Reeds’ childless state when he’d decided on this location for me. Had he guessed their situation would add an extra level of protectiveness?
“I don’t know what to say. I just don’t feel like ... I don’t know. I’m just kind of overwhelmed by it all. I don’t think I can pay them back for this.”
“Just accept it and let them take care of you,” Evan said with a wink. “That’s plenty of payback for them, believe me.” He moved toward the door and stifled a yawn. “I’ve got to head out before I fall over, but I’ll give you a call soon if you do want to go check out the space center. And if you don’t, then just say so. Don’t let Candace pressure you.”
“No,” I said truthfully. “It sounds like fun.”
Evan left, and the rest of the household began winding down. Both Charles and Candace went out of their way to make sure I didn’t need anything else before going to bed. I assured them I was fine and then finally shut the door on my little room. With a sigh, I stretched out on top of my bed.
“What have I done?” I murmured, staring up at the pine slats. One day I was the queen of a fairy kingdom, commanding armies and wielding powerful magic. The next, I was out in the country, the darling of a good-hearted family whose only motivations were kindness and affection to others. It left me confused and unsure of what exactly I wanted in the world. And weirdly, for the first time since I’d left the Otherworld and begun my manic journey, I truly felt alone. I’d abandoned a lifestyle that—while dangerous—was familiar and beloved. Now, I was in a much simpler, easier world ... but I questioned if I’d ever truly feel like I belonged in it.
Dorian’s face played through my mind again, and I forcibly pushed him away.
A small fluttering in my stomach made me jerk upright. I sat there in disbelief, staring around foolishly. What was that? Had that been ... ? Tentatively, I rested a hand on my abdomen, waiting for a repeat. There was none. I tried to remember what the doctor had said about the babies moving. I remembered the fish analogy and—most importantly—her comment that it wouldn’t feel like something trying to kick its way out of me.
When nothing else happened, I lay back on the bed. That could have been anything, I decided. Too much pot roast. A muscle spasm. I’d almost convinced myself I’d imagined it when another fluttering in a different part of my stomach left me wide-eyed. I nearly stopped breathing, then told myself that wouldn’t be healthy for any of us.
I used no magic but instead expanded my senses so that I could feel the air and water around me. I could hear the hum of insects outside and smell the leaves of the trees outside my window. The world fell into a comfortable harmony as I clasped my hands and rested them carefully on my stomach again. Another flutter answered me, and I realized that maybe, no matter how radically things had changed, I wasn’t alone after all.
Chapter 8
I’d thought my biggest obstacle in exile would simply be adjusting to a new area and new people. I was wrong. As it turned out, boredom soon became my greatest enemy in the following weeks.
The Reeds continued to be open and loving in their acceptance of me. For all intents and purposes, I was a member of the family. Evan made good on his promise to take me to the space center and went out of his way to show me all sorts of other interesting sights in the area. Still, he couldn’t entertain me nonstop. Even though he was on summer break, he still had lots of home projects of his own to work on during the day, as well as a number of volunteer jobs. Likewise, Charles and Candace had their own commitments to preoccupy them. When evening came, they were quick to gather us all together, but the long daylight hours were left to my own devices.
Surprisingly, jealousy soon became an issue for me as well. Candace might maintain her breezy down-home style and tendency to over-mother while at home, but it was obvious that when it came to her shamanic work, she was all business. Her work sometimes took her quite a few hours outside of Huntsville, and I learned that this region was particularly active for ghosts. Old spirits had a hard time leaving familiar haunts. For whatever reason, gentry and other Otherworldly creatures weren’t such an issue, so she rarely used her magic to touch the Otherworld. Her work was mostly restricted to banishing, which made her more of a Ghost Buster than a shaman.
She frequently came home with cuts and bruises from particularly troublesome spirits, and that was what drove me crazy the most. She never complained and took it in stride as part of the job, and Charles would patiently patch her up each time. She was always able to take down anything that came her way, but each time she returned home injured, I just kept thinking that if I’d been with her, we probably could’ve dispatched those ghosts without a scratch. It took every ounce of my willpower to stay silent and let her do her job the way she always had.
I’d wondered initially if Evan knew what his aunt did for a living. Sometimes the shamanic trade was kept undercover. I quickly learned that not only did Evan know about her job, he also occasionally helped. His skills were pretty minor, but she believed it was good to have a backup. Her profession was well known to a lot of the community as well, who took ghosts and the supernatural as an accepted part of life. The area was rich in history, and a lot of the residents—particularly those in remote regions—had at least one ghost story to share.
Candace found me one afternoon, on a day she’d finished up early. I was reading on the porch, trying with mixed luck to get into a book I’d recently checked out. I hadn’t actually used a library in years, but with all my free time, now had seemed like a good time to try to get back into the habit. They helped break up the time when I wasn’t working on jigsaw puzzles, which were another old and neglected hobby.
“I was wondering if you could help me out with something,” she said, wiping sweat off her brow. The drought hadn’t lifted, which also drove me crazy. Charles worked diligently to keep his garden watered and alive, and I had to rein myself in from using magic to help him out. I would’ve gladly assisted with the manual labor instead, but he wouldn’t allow that in my “state.”
At her words, a brief surge of hope flared within me. Maybe she wanted me to come help her with a case! Then, as quickly as the thought had come, I promptly dismissed it. I was fairly certain Roland had made it emphatically clear that I was not to assist under any circumstances, and Candace was protective enough to uncompromisingly adhere to that.
“What do you need?” I asked. I racked my brain for any household tasks that needed tending but could think of none that were low-key enough for me to be allowed to do.
“Business is picking up,” she said. “And I’m getting lots of calls and e-mails. It’s hard for me to keep up with them. Charles tries, but he doesn’t always know enough to tell what’s a priority and what’s not.”
A secretary. She wanted me to be her secretary. I was so dumbfounded that I could make no response.
Uncomfortable with my silence, she added, “I figured with your experience, you’d be able to sort everything out and schedule it the right way.”
“Of course,” I said at last. “Whatever you need.”
My acceptance came more from a sense of obli
gation to this woman who’d done so much for me than any real desire for clerical work. Don’t get me wrong—I respected that trade immensely. Back in Tucson, I’d had an administrative assistant named Lara. Her witty personality was enough to make me miss her, but she’d also been amazing at sorting out the day-to-day details of my life and job. Yet, as awesome as I felt she was, my own pride was hurt at being downgraded to phone calls and e-mail. I was one of the most powerful shamans around. I could do things that most of my peers couldn’t ... but this was what I’d been reduced to.
“I know it’s not ideal,” she said gently. “But I think it’s something you’d be good at.”
I realized then that her offer came from more than just a need for someone to organize her affairs. Just like with her shamanic skills, I’d underestimated her. She was more observant than she let on. She knew perfectly well that I was bored and restless, so she was trying to do what she could to help me while still maintaining Roland’s rules.
“Thank you,” I said, genuinely meaning it. “I’ll do my best.”
A relieved grin spread over her face. “Good. Now that that’s settled, tell me how your appointment went.”
I smiled back at her obvious glee. I’d found a doctor in Huntsville and had a checkup this morning, continuing to get good marks. “You can see for yourself. There’s a folder on the counter with something you might like.” The doctor had sent me home with some ultrasound printouts of the twins. Candace hurried back inside, and moments later, I heard a delighted shriek. Laughing, I returned to my book.
When I started working for Candace the next day, I wondered how Lara had managed to do her job for years without going insane.
To be fair, it wasn’t like the phone was ringing off the hook. Candace had a separate line for business, and I only got a handful of calls that day. E-mail requests were about the same. Still, I was kind of amazed at the varied personalities I had to deal with. It was easy for me to tell the difference between a major haunting and a minor one, and the latter usually got scheduled out later. Some people didn’t take that too well. Equally frustrating were those who didn’t even know what they were asking for.
“It’s like an occasional knocking in the walls,” one man explained to me on the phone. “Usually when the air-conditioning kicks on.”
“You have central air?”
“Yup.”
“I don’t suppose ... it might actually be something going on with the air-conditioning?”
He considered this for a few moments. “Doesn’t seem likely. It’s never done it before. I’ve had this system for years.”
“Well,” I said patiently, “things wear out over time.”
“I dunno. I’m pretty sure it’s a ghost.”
I sighed. “Have you had any other signs? I mean, have you actually seen an apparition or felt any cold spots?”
“No,” he said after another long pause. “But I’ve sometimes felt warm spots.”
“Warm spots?” I asked. “That’s not usually an indicator of a spectral presence.”
“Well, they’re there. Even when the air-conditioning’s on, it still feels pretty hot in the house.”
I gritted my teeth. “If the air-conditioning’s broken, that would explain the noise and why it’s not cooling your house.”
The guy was obviously still skeptical. “I think it’s a ghost. Do you think she can come out and take a look?”
“Yeah, but it might be a while. Her schedule’s pretty booked.”
“That’s okay,” he said. “The ghost kind of adds character. Maybe I won’t even have her get rid of it.”
We scheduled the appointment, and I hung up, thinking bleakly that that had been ten wasted minutes of my life I would never get back. I also found myself again thinking of Dorian. Not that he would do phone customer service, of course. But that customer’s personality was exactly the kind Dorian loved to taunt. I could see him nodding along seriously with the guy: “Intriguing. Tell me more about your ghost.”
Still, it occurred to me after a few days that I really was making Candace’s life easier. I was also helping out Charles, who was relieved to no longer have to deal with air-conditioning ghosts. I decided the annoyance of customer service was a small price to pay for their hospitality.
A week or so into my gainful employment, Evan surprised me with a daytime visit. He was in his usual jeans and T-shirt but had obviously cleaned up and didn’t have the typical wear and tear from working outdoors.
“Wondered if you wanted to go see some more local sights,” he told me. “There’s a plantation south of here that’s a historic monument.”
I made a face. “Thanks for the offer, but I don’t really like the history of those places. It’s hard for me to get too excited.”
He nodded, his face serious. “The history is ugly, but it’s an amazing piece of architecture. And sometimes ... sometimes it’s good to have a reminder of the evils of the past.”
The comment surprised me. I’d known Evan was neither stupid nor close-minded, but much like with Candace, it was easy to think he was just all laid-back charm. “Okay,” I said. I glared at Candace’s business phone. “Voice mail can take over today.”
We drove deep into the country, about an hour and a half away from Candace’s. The land was beautiful, and deep-rooted trees fought fiercely to maintain their green leaves in otherwise yellow and brown terrain. Evan left the windows open, and I leaned back with eyes closed, enjoying the rush of air over me.
A strange longing suddenly welled up in me, filling my mind with images of desert shrubs and cherry trees in bloom. The Thorn Land and the Rowan Land. How long had it been since I’d been away? Nearly a month? The time seemed both impossibly long and short. The longing within me grew more intense, and in that moment, I would’ve traded anything for my kingdoms. I’d had those lands call to me before and knew this sudden urgency wasn’t coming from them. This was all me, my own body’s withdrawal from the Otherworld. If the lands hadn’t sought me out, then Jasmine’s bonding must be satisfying them. Somehow, that made me feel worse.
“What are you thinking about?” asked Evan. I opened my eyes. “You looked like you were a million miles away.”
“Nearly,” I said with a small smile. “Just feeling a little homesick.”
“I can imagine,” he said. “I’ve traveled a little, but most of my life’s been here. Not sure what I’d do if I was suddenly taken away from it.”
“Do you plan on staying here for the rest of your life?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said without hesitation. “I love the land. I love my house. I even love my students. You always hear about teachers who are relieved when school’s out, but me? I miss the kids the whole time. Can’t wait to get back into it.”
“Do you teach the same thing each term?”
“Pretty much.”
“And you don’t get bored?”
“Nope. I love the material. And there are always different kids cycling through, so it’s new to them each time. That’s fun to see.”
I shook my head in awe. “That’s kind of amazing.”
“What, that I like kids?”
I laughed. “No, no. That you’re so content with your life. I don’t think that’s very common.”
He shrugged. “When you’ve got everything you need, why complicate it? I mean sure, I’d like a family someday, but other than that, I’ve got a lot of good things going on. People get too caught up in what they don’t have and get bogged down as a result. There’s joy in the present. It’s important to just make the most of these moments we have. Keep an eye on the future, but don’t forget to enjoy now.”
His eyes held mine for a brief moment before returning back to the road ahead. Evan had never made any romantic overtures toward me or behaved in any way that wasn’t gentlemanly. That was fine by me. I liked him a lot, but after everything I’d gone through, I was in no way ready to get involved in a new relationship. Nonetheless, I’d gotten the vibe for a while
that he wouldn’t be opposed to something more developing between us. As his words had just confirmed, though, I’d also gotten the impression that he was more than willing to be patient. He really was content with what we had now.
And that was what was remarkable about him. He was content, at peace with what he had. He wasn’t a slacker by any means, but there was none of that burning ambition to shape the world, as I’d experienced too often with Dorian and Kiyo. There were no greater machinations here, just a simple love of life. Things were uncomplicated around Evan, and it occurred to me that maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing. Complicated had been my operating procedure for so long that I’d never given much thought to living without it. Would it be so terrible to let go of Otherworldly politics and prophecies? Maybe it would be good for me—and my children—to live around people who simply loved unconditionally.
There were no easy answers, certainly none that would present themselves today. We arrived at the plantation shortly thereafter, and it was as magnificent as Evan had said it was. The main building was constructed in Greek revivalist style, sprawling and grand with a veranda that even had pillars. Evan pulled up into a gravel parking lot and then led us toward one of the adjacent buildings, which had obviously been converted into a visitor’s center. As we walked toward it, I came to a stop and glanced up in surprise.
“It’s finally going to rain,” I said.
Evan stopped beside me and glanced up as well. “I didn’t hear anything about it. Look—there isn’t even a cloud in the sky.”
It was true. There was nothing but open blue above us, paired with a merciless sun. Yet, I knew there would be a storm before the day was out. I could feel it with every part of my being. The air hummed with it. Remembering Ohio, I had a brief moment of panic that this unexpected storm might be magically induced. I took a deep breath and felt out its true nature. No, this was the real deal. A natural shift in weather that was much needed.
“Just wait,” I promised Evan as we continued walking. “You’ll see.”
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