by Aly Martinez
And feeling that with Penn? Well, it scared the hell out of me.
I turned into his chest to hide my face from the girls.
His strong arms folded around me as I burst into tears.
“So, as you can see, I’m here. You’re all safe. No matter what. Now, if you could head out and say a prayer for me, Cora’s about to chew my ass for telling you all the things we talk about in private,” Penn said, curling me close.
River coughed, like maybe she had a few emotions of her own that she didn’t want to reveal. “Yeah. Okay. I, uh…I think we should go to bed now.”
“Sure,” Savannah whispered, all the fight gone from her voice. “Bed. Sounds good.”
I heard their feet on the wood as they hurried down the hall, pausing only for a few mumbled goodnights.
Drew was next. “I’m gonna head out, too. You good to set up that frame on your own?”
“Yeah, man. Thanks for helping.”
“Not a problem.” Drew patted my back. “Night, Cor.”
“Night, Drew,” I replied into Penn’s chest.
When the door finally shut, Penn dipped his head and put his lips to my ear. “You okay?”
I shook my head.
“Good not-okay or bad not-okay?” he asked.
“I’m not sure yet.” A wave of tears clogged my throat until I was barely able to get a word out. “You…you lied to them.”
He kissed the side of my face. “Not all lies are bad, babe. Sometimes, they’re necessary. We’ve been spending a lot of time together. They’re kids. They just needed to hear that they’re still the most important thing in your life.”
My breathing shuddered and I brought a hand up between us to cover my mouth, talking around it as I replied, “They are. They so are.”
“I know. And, now, they know it, too.”
I couldn’t get close enough as I wiggled into his arms. “God, Penn. How are you so incredible?”
“Finally, she asks a how instead of a why.”
I peeked up at him. “Huh?”
He grinned. “Few weeks ago, you’d have been asking me why I helped you. Tonight, you asked how I was so incredible. That’s a big step, Cora.”
He wasn’t wrong. It was a huge step for me.
And it had happened so effortlessly.
Kinda like falling in love.
Blink.
Blink.
Blink.
“Shit, you’re gonna cry again,” he mumbled.
I face-planted in his chest again. “But I think it’s a good not-okay this time.”
“You want to figure it out while I put your new bed together?”
“You’re handy with a screwdriver, so I’m not sure that’s going to be enough time.”
He chuckled. “Right, but at least, this way, when you’re done thinking and I try to kiss you into being better than good not-okay, we’ll have a comfortable surface.”
I choked a laugh. “You’re a really sweet guy, Penn. Saying all that to the girls. Doing nice things like getting me a bed. Promising to take care of me.”
“Making you cry all the time,” he added to my list.
“No. Not that. I told you that was medical.”
He laughed, sliding his arms around my waist and pulling me flush with his front. “Then what is it, baby? Because, from where I’m standing, none of those things seem bad.”
“They’re not bad. They’re really amazing.”
And they were. But nothing in my life stayed amazing for long.
He grinned. “Good. Because I like doing those things for you. And I’ll especially love eating the thank-you dinner you’ll hopefully cook for me tomorrow night.” His head came back down so he could nip at my earlobe and he murmured, “I vote we throw it in reverse and go back to where it all began with turkey bacon burgers and beer.”
I offered him a genuine—but very forced—smile.
I could do that. I could cook him that dinner. I could sit in my room while he put together my bed. I could even lie in the aforementioned bed and let him kiss me breathless all over again.
But what I could not do was hope that I was going to be able to keep him.
Because, the minute I did, he’d be as good as gone.
“Okay. I can do that.”
He pecked my lips. “Despite the cupcakes and cash I’ve been slipping them, I’m not sure your girls like me.”
“Well, they’re gonna have to get over it, because I think after tonight we have an official relationship status.”
He kissed me again, this time with a smiling mouth. “Woman, you’re insane. We’ve had an official status for weeks. I spend every damn night in your bed.”
I slid my hand around his waist and down to his firm ass, giving it a long and lingering squeeze, throwing in a moan for good measure. “You know, for the record, none of this would have happened tonight if we were having sex.”
His eyes flashed wide, and his smile grew. “Is that so?”
“Yep.”
“Well.” He returned the ass grope, kissing me as he groaned down my throat. “The good news is we got seven hundred years to remedy that.”
I slapped his chest.
“The bad news is I gotta run next door and get my tools. Go get changed and two beers ready. I’ll be right back.”
I glowered as he stepped away, but it only made him laugh.
However, with heat licking at my core, I found not the first thing funny.
The wolf whistle I threw his way as he walked out the door with my gaze glued to his ass remedied that though.
Penn
“What’s the chance you’re here to bring me some amazing food Cora cooked to thank us for helping with the bed?” Drew asked, standing at the microwave, counting down the seconds until whatever the hell frozen dinner he’d popped in three minutes earlier would be done.
“None,” I clipped, walking past the kitchen to the bedroom. I navigated around the foot of the new bed I’d bought at the same time I’d gotten Cora’s. Hers was nicer. But considering I’d not slept in my own apartment since our first date, it was really a purchase for Drew.
The microwave beeped as I dug through my toolbox in search of my Allen wrench.
“That was some heavy shit tonight,” Drew said around the tail end of a three-bite burrito that was exactly one step above eating cardboard.
“Those kids are smarter than they look.”
“Well, your bullshit was top-notch. All that ‘and, by extension, you and Savannah are safe too.’ You sold the hell out of that crap.”
“It wasn’t crap,” I said, going to my closet to grab a pair of sweats to sleep in.
“I’m sorry. What?”
“I said it wasn’t crap.”
He arched an incredulous eyebrow. “Yeah, asshole. That’s the part I heard, but surely, you misspoke.”
I tossed my sweats over my shoulder and gave him my full attention. “Change of plans. The three of them. Package deal.”
He ground his teeth. “Fine. When this is all over, we’ll turn the kids over to Social Services. It’s gonna kill your woman though.”
I sat on the edge of the bed and began unlacing my boots. “She’s not my woman. But she’s not gonna be here when we leave, either.”
He barked a laugh. “First of all, I’m not touching the ‘she’s not my woman’ bullshit you just laid down. I do not have time to talk you off that ledge after I tell you that she’s in love with you. And, worse, you’ve got it fucking bad for her.”
My gut wrenched. This was not news to me. No man could spend as much time as I had with a woman like Cora Guerrero without catching it bad. And I’d seen the way she looked at me—all dreamy and lovestruck.
The way she held me every night when she fell asleep, her soft curves pressed so tight against my side that it was like she was trying to crawl inside me. She never tossed. She never turned. And when she was woken up by one of the women in the building, she only moved far enough away to grab her phone an
d then she was right back at my side.
Then there was the way she cried when I did sweet things for her. And those sweet things were utter bullshit. Sweet would have been replacing her piece-of-shit car, buying her designer handbags, or taking her to five-star restaurants just to hear her moan with every bite. No. The only sweet I could give Cora were simple necessities.
Earlier that week, I’d noticed she was running low on body wash while I was taking a shower at her place, so I’d picked it up while I was at the grocery store. She’d gotten all dewy-eyed and acted like I’d given her the world in that fucking three-dollar bottle of suds. I’d had to leave after she’d said thank you for the hundredth time for fear of exploding.
She deserved more.
She deserved better.
She deserved the fucking best.
Gaining Cora’s trust had been far easier than I’d ever thought because she expected so little from a man that just showing up every night had her falling in love with me.
And fuck me. Sitting there, experiencing the world through her reactions, bringing her that stupid soap, and watching her eyes dance with pure joy as I carried the top-of-the-line mattress that I’d told her had only cost three hundred dollars up to her apartment had me falling in love with her too.
Cora was far from naïve, but her bar was set so low in life that everything was new and magical. I couldn’t imagine the wonder that would have filled her eyes if I’d taken her to the beach, or overseas, or, fuck…to Ohio. She’d have been thrilled, laughing the whole time, bouncing up and down, racing from chain restaurant to chain restaurant like Cleveland was the new Paris.
And that shit was infectious—like the goddamn plague.
Because it was killing me.
Weeks earlier, I’d had an emotional meltdown from even contemplating spending time with that woman.
And now, every day, I was losing my mind figuring out how I was ever going to let her go.
It was safe to say Cora was no longer under my skin. She was a part of me. And regardless of how it ended—which was more than likely with me in a grave—she was going to flourish.
That meant not only did we have to make sure she got out of this okay, but that she, River, and Savannah got out of this okay.
I’d given those girls my word. I was keeping it.
I stopped with my boots and looked up at Drew. “I told you no matter the cost.”
“And I told you we’d make sure nothing blew back on her.”
“Not good enough anymore. I’ll follow through. I’ll find Catalina and her kid. I’ll do whatever I have to do. But, at the end of the day, I want her out of here. I want her in a fucking cushy pad where she can breathe free and easy, those two girls at her side.”
He raked a hand through the top of his short, brown hair. “No. No. No. We do not have the resources for that.”
Shooting to my feet, I pinned him with a glare. “I have the resources. And I’m getting them out of this mess as soon as possible.”
“Penn, she’s got a record. You know this. Cora’s staring down that third strike like a T-ball player facing a major league pitcher. And you’re gonna help her walk away with two runaways, one of whom is a junkie? That shit’s gonna catch up with her. And it’s gonna put her away for life. You’re not thinking straight. We can find Catalina’s daughter, then take Cora out of here. By herself.” He took a long step toward me. “Do not forget why we are here. You are not the savior in this story. It is not your responsibility to save those girls. I accepted your ‘nothing happens to Cora’ declaration, but this is one promise we can’t follow through on.”
When I was a kid, I used to stare at those optical illusion pictures until I went cross-eyed. I’d never been able to see the dolphin jumping out of the water or the palm tree on an island popping out in three dimensions. But every time I’d passed one of them at the mall, I always tried.
Right then, staring at Drew was a lot like that.
Only he was the palm tree in this scenario because the man in front of me, talking about leaving thirteen and sixteen-year-old girls behind, was not in any way, shape, or form the man I knew.
“Who are you right now?” I asked, tilting my head from side to side as if the picture would change.
“Who am I?” he repeated incredulously. His eyes flashed dark, and his face contorted with stone-cold fury. Hooking his thumb at his chest, he snarled, “I’m the man who spent two years rotting in prison, kissing Manuel Guerrero’s ass, all but dropping to my knees to suck his cock for one goddamn clue to find out who the hell killed my sister.”
“And she was my wife!” I moved fast, bumping my chest with his. “Vengeance does not mean turning your back on the rest of the world.”
He laughed, but it held no humor. “You need to get the fuck out of my face right now. I’m not going to let you screw this up over some fucked-up need to save these girls because you couldn’t save Lisa.”
A blast of adrenaline hit me so hard that it blurred my vision. Luckily, he was only inches away, so it wasn’t like I needed a roadmap.
Rearing back, I slammed my fist into the side of his face. Drew followed it up with a punch of his own, both of us falling to the floor. We rolled around, exchanging blows, knocking shit over as we went. He put a gash in my left eyebrow, and I split both of his lips open.
It was not rare for Drew and me to have a brawl. When we were in college and I told my best friend I was in love with his twin sister, they actually became quite common. But this was one of the worst.
For the first time in all four years since we’d sat down and planned this whole kamikaze mission of revenge, we were standing on different sides of the fence.
Countless punches were thrown.
Head.
Body.
And since the rules of professional boxing didn’t apply to bedroom brawls…
Back of the head and below the belt too.
We were both sweaty, bleeding, and out of breath by the time the last punch was thrown.
“Fuck, man. I think you broke my rib,” he groaned, settling beside me on his back.
“Good,” I mumbled, not mentioning my own aching side.
We lay on that floor side by side, staring up at the ceiling, panting and moaning as we discovered new injuries.
“Well, that was therapeutic. Look at us handling things all responsibly and shit. My probation officer would be thrilled.”
I shook my head, wincing when I found a goose egg on the back of it. “How did this happen?” I asked around the lump of reality in my throat. “How are we here right now?”
“You don’t have to be.” He turned his head to face me, but I didn’t look at him. “What if you go home, Penn?”
“No,” I replied immediately.
“Come on. Hear me out. You take Cora and the girls back to the beach. I know you still have the house. And I’ll stay here and finish this once and for all.”
My blood pressure rose. “No way. That wasn’t the plan. You did your part. You stole the car and got to Manuel.”
“Hey hey hey. I stole two cars, thank you very much.”
I laughed sadly, remembering the first time I’d picked him up from jail. He’d climbed into my Audi, cussing and screaming. He was quite possibly the first man in history to be mad about being released with a slap on the wrist. He remedied that by stealing car number two and earning himself two years in prison.
“Yeah, you did. And, now, it’s my turn.” I finally gave him my eyes. “That was the plan, Drew. You sacrificed whatever time you were in jail. And I’d sacrifice the rest of my life. Whether it be in a cell or in a coffin. That was the plan.”
“But that was before Cora.”
“No.” I shook my head adamantly. “I’m not the man for Cora. This isn’t my last stop. I can’t drag her into this. She’s incredible, and I want her out of here. But I can’t offer her any more than that and you know it.”
He huffed a laugh. “You’re full of shit. You know that,
right? You’ve been more alive since we got here than you’ve ever been. And that includes with Lisa.”
My face got tight, my chest aching with bone-crushing agony. “Don’t do that.”
“You loved her. No one here is doubting that. But Cora’s more your speed. You love taking care of that woman. Every time she giggles, you light up like a pussy-whipped Christmas tree.”
I laughed as he kept talking.
“Lisa was something else though. She was independent to a fault. Trust me, I spent nine months in the womb with her. I don’t care what the doctors tell me—I distinctly remember her trying to off me at least once with her umbilical cord.”
We both smiled. It wouldn’t have shocked me if he was right.
Drew wasn’t ready to step off his soapbox. “She loved you. But she loved the adventure of life more. You weren’t cracked up for that. You created an empire tearing down beach houses and building overpriced hurricane-proof mansions in their place. Last I checked, that did not leave a lot of time for travel or gumshoe-detective work. Which was all Lisa had ever wanted. I could have told you that before your first date.” He reached over and slugged my arm, hitting a spot that was already bruising. “That is if you had actually asked me before jumping into bed with her behind my back. I’d like it noted on the record—you did not.”
I dabbed at my brow to see if I’d stopped bleeding. I hadn’t, so I sat up and peeled the shirt over my head and then pressed it to my eye before reclining back down. “It’s been fifteen years, Drew. It’s time to let that shit go.”
“All I’m saying is Cora’s different for you. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. She makes you happy, Penn. And I will not judge you for wanting to hold on to that.”
“I can’t. I made a promise.”
“And I’m letting you out of that promise. I’ll take care of this.”
In theory, it sounded like a great offer. But my heart, my soul—my conscience—wouldn’t allow it. Emotion rained down over me, slicing me from all angles.
“You’re right about Lisa,” I said. “She was a free spirit in so many ways. But she needed me once. And I wasn’t there. I can do both things. That would make Lisa happy. I’ll get the girls and Cora safe and then I’ll finish what we started.”