by Adrian Stark
A weight lifted from my shoulders and an ugly sob left my lips. Josie bought our foreheads together, thumbs rubbing soothingly at my temples as I cried.
“I forgive you.”
Chapter Six: Chapter 6 Title
The morning had passed slowly, almost like a dream as Andrew and I talked. Our third cups of tea had been long forgotten, left to go cold in favor of a bottle of wine.The more we spoke the more apparent it became that most of the problems between us could have easily been solved that night on The Silver Cloud.
“We really suck at talking about our problems, huh?” Andrew leaned on the kitchen counter, chin resting on his hand as he swirled his glass absently with his other hand. I’d always imagined Andrew to live in large open spaces, awash with blues and greens like the ocean he seemed to love so much. There were a few touches, splashes of patterns and clutter that were definitely Chrissie, but the space was so utterly Andrew. He looked so at ease here; it was nice to see him so relaxed.
I had a feeling that drinking while we had this conversation probably wasn’t the best way to go; my brain was the slightest bit fuzzy and my tongue felt loose and talkative. I snorted into my glass.
“I’m seeing someone about it. What’s your excuse?”
His face fell a little, a crease forming between his eyebrows, and I leaned forward to smooth it away.
“What’s with the face?”
“You went to therapy?”
I ran a finger around the rim of my glass. It was still something to get used to, telling people about my problems. Would he think less of me if he knew I was seeing a therapist? I looked at Andrew’s face, so open and accepting, willing to listen to anything I had to say. I took a deep breath. If he could be brave then so could I.
“I’m still in therapy,” I admitted quietly. “Things kinda spiraled after Michael…” His expression tightened at the mention of Michael’s name, and I scooted my chair forward, laying a hand on his arm. “I spent a lot of time just lying in bed, not being able to move or think it was like- like I was dead but still moving around.” I had no idea what kind of shit was coming out of my mouth but Andrew was listening, eyes focused and encouraging. “I’ve never been very good at talking to other people… about myself, but I could see how worried Charlie was. And I didn’t want to do that to her, so I let her sign me up to see this guy called Casper. I’ve been seeing him for the past two months.” I gave a self-deprecating smile. “I’ve made a lot of progress but…” Be brave Josie. “Andrew, I’m gonna be a lot of hard work—more than I ever was before.” It was a weak joke but Andrew smiled all the same.
“You were never hard work,” he said reverently. I blushed and he lifted his glass.
“Cheers to Charlie then.”
I laughed and raised my own glass to tap against his.
There was a knock on the door. Andrew pulled out his phone.
“That’ll be the girls…” he said ruefully. “…back from their luxury getaway.” He got up to answer the door, and I downed the rest of my wine.
“They better have bought food.” I couldn't remember the last time I’d eaten, definitely before I got to Andrew’s.
“Did someone say food?” Charlie and Chrissie breezed into the apartment, each carrying a large pizza box and a plastic bag of drinks and side dishes. I breathed deep, smelling the glorious scent of melted cheese and tomato sauce.
Charlie dropped the box on the counter in front of me, and I immediately pulled out a slice, biting into it with a barely suppressed groan.
“Everything okay here?” Charlie asked quietly around her own mouthful. “He treating you right?” Her tone was playful but when her eyes darted to where Andrew and Chrissie were unpacking the rest of the food, there was something steely in her gaze. I elbowed her, causing her to almost drop her pizza slice. “Hey!”
“Be nice. It wasn’t his fault. I know that now.”
“So you did talk. That’s good.”
I looked at her, eyebrow raised, and she laughed, sucking the grease off her fingers and reaching for a second slice. “I’m serious! Josie—I may not have the perfect first impression of the guy, but if he is what makes you happy, I’m all for him.”
I smiled.
“Thanks, Charlie.”
“And if he hurts you again I’ll kick his ass.”
“Okay, dear.”
“What do you guys want to drink?” Andrew asked from across the kitchen. Charlie sent me a wink, and I rolled my eyes at her and lifted my glass.
“More wine?”
“Of course my darling. Charlie?”
Charlie made hand gestures at the empty wine bottle on the counter.
“Oh yeah. I want in on wine.”
“Gotcha.” He gave us a two finger salute and started riffling around for another bottle.
Chrissie bought over a plate of salad, already holding her own tumbler of what smelled like gin, placing both on the counter before taking a seat opposite Charlie.
“Christ, that’s a lot of food.”
“You complaining?” Chrissie teased. I shook my head, reaching for another slice of pizza.
“Absolutely not. This is divine.”
She laughed and then turned to Andrew as he sat down beside her. “Oh, I forgot to say, Andrew, we got an invitation in the mail. We’ve been invited to Robyn and Emily’s wedding in a few weeks. Says here we can bring plus ones.” She sent Charlie a wink, and I was definitely going to ask Charlie about that later.
“Do you think it’d be okay if we came with?” I hadn’t even tried to contact them while I was home. I’d missed them a lot, but with everything going on I hadn’t gotten the chance. Andrew took my hand in his, squeezing it lightly and flashing me a soft smile.
“I’m sure they’d be as happy as we are to see you again.”
“Where is it?” Charlie asked, swigging wine from her glass.
Chrissie put down her glass and beamed.
“Paris.”
Chapter Seven: Chapter 7 Title
“You’ve got quite the view.” I looked up from where I was answering emails. Josie was standing beside the couch, looking out of the giant windows over the city skyline. Thousands of multicolored lights flashed almost rhythmically, and above them, the stars twinkled delicately in the pitch black sky. Josie perched on the arm of the couch with a contented sigh. I let my eyes trace over her outline, mapping the elegant sweep of her hair over slight shoulders dusted with freckles. I wanted very much to kiss every single one of them. “I can feel you staring.” Josie sounded amused. I flushed but didn’t look away. Under the harsh light of the apartment, she looked angelic. “Don’t you dare say ‘yes it is’ while staring at the back of my head.” She laughed and I felt my smile go a little awestruck. How was I supposed to focus on work emails with her here looking like that teasing me in that low soft voice.
I put down my laptop as quietly as I could before wrapping my arm around Josie’s waist and dragging her down on top of me. She landed with a soft thump and looked up at me with a blinding smile. I had to kiss her. The angle was all wrong and my neck felt strained immediately but it was perfect. Josie huffed a laugh against my lips, warm air ghosting over my face. When I pulled back, her smile was impossibly bigger and brighter.
“Hi,” I whispered. “I thought you were asleep.” I soothed my hand through her bed head hair, pushing it out of her eyes. She still looked tired, months of nightmare ridden sleep etched into the bags under her eyes. Josie hummed, closing her eyes and pushing back into my hand.
“Couldn’t sleep.”
My hand tightened protectively in her hair, just slightly. It wasn’t fair, what she’d been through. I was determined never to let anything bad happen to her again; she deserved to be happy. Without opening her eyes, Josie reached up, fingers prodding gently between my eyes.
“You’ll get wrinkles.” Her hand didn’t move, and when I looked down, she was already looking up at me, face serious. A tiny furrow had formed between her brows,
and I moved my hand to smooth it.
“You too,” I murmured. We stayed like that for a few moments, hands resting on each other’s forehead. “We look ridiculous.”
Josie snorted, dropping her arm and looking back toward the window.
“You can go back to work if you’d like; I just wanna lie here for a bit.” I shook my head. There was no way I’d be able to concentrate long enough to answer anything properly tonight.
“I’d rather talk to you.”
She craned her neck to look at me. I was quickly growing to love that soft smile—one that said she was completely at ease.
“You’re so sappy.”
“You bring it out of me…” I replied solemnly. “…you make me want to be all romantic—like those crappy rom-coms.”
“Oh yeah?” Josie sat up. I tried not to pout as my fingers left the soft tresses of her hair. I moved with her and pulled towards her like a magnet.
“Yup.”
“Well you’re in luck. I love rom-coms.”
“Yeah?”
“What can I say? I’m a sucker for good old-fashioned romance.”
“Well, maybe you should give me some pointers. I’d hate to disappoint.” I reached for my phone, opening up the notes tab before looking up at Josie expectantly.
“You’re a complete dope.” She sounded breathless, like she couldn’t believe I was there in front of her. Something warm and fuzzy settled on my chest. God, is this what it's like to be loved? Feels like I could drown in it. “You’re really taking notes on this?”
I drummed my thumbs on the phone screen, one eyebrow raised. Josie laughed and pretended to think, finger and thumb held dramatically to her chin.
“Well, to start, red roses are a must.”
“Of course.” I dutifully wrote the statement down.
“Candlelit dinners are a must.”
“At least three times a month.”
“And after every meal, we have to go stargazing.”
I paused, looking back towards the window. New York was still bustling steadily in the neon lights, and an idea struck me.
“Now that, I can do.” I climbed to my feet, tugging Josie up by the hand. “Come on, up. Help me with this.” I started pushing at one end of the couch, slowly turning it so it faced the window full on. Josie laughed when she realized what I was doing and hurried to get to the other side. “There,” I said once the couch was fully facing the window. I walked to the light switch and flipped it, plunging the apartment into darkness save for the ever changing hues of New York’s nightlife and the stars glittering far above. “Stargazing.”
I settled back on the couch, tucking Josie into my side as we both watched the stars in comfortable silence. I can’t remember the last time I was this at peace. There’s nothing else I want in the world than being able to do this every night.
“This is what it would be like you know…” Josie said quietly, not taking her eyes off of the scene in front of us. “…if we lived together. We could sit and watch the stars every night after downing countless bottles of wine. This is a brilliant place to have sex.” I hummed in agreement, feeling the first coils of arousal in my belly, but I ignored it in favor of the first thing Josie had said. This is what it would be like if we lived together. The other big topic we hadn’t talked about: what happens now? I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with Josephine, of that I was certain, but how was that going to work? She’d just gotten her house back, her father’s house. I couldn’t ask her to give that up. But could I really move away from the company? More than ever, I needed to be here to oversee the case, to make sure everything went off without a hitch.
Josie cleared her throat and I held her close. You can tell me anything I tried to say.
“After the wedding, I-I want to stay with you, go traveling again maybe… I can give the house to Charlie, she’d like that, and I‘d still get to visit as often as I wanted to.” She pushed herself up to look at me. “It’s important to me but…so are you. I want to be here, with you…” I froze. Josie craned her head, a small worried frown appearing on her face. “Is that okay?”
“Are you sure?” I breathed. The last thing I wanted was for her to force herself into something just to make me happy.
Josie pushed my hands up, shifting into my lap and placing them around her waist.
“Yes. I’m sick of being cautious and pushing people away. I love you and that’s not going to change.”
I surged forward, breathing in the surprised little gasp Josie made greedily. Words couldn’t describe how incandescently happy I was. I was going to spend the rest of my life proving to this gorgeous phenomenal woman that she made the right choice in loving me.
“I love you too,” I whispered adoringly in between kisses. “I love you.”
Josie smiled against my lips.
“Good.”
Chapter Eight: Chapter 8 Title
Robyn had told me more than once that she’d wanted to get married in Paris and I could see why. No matter how many times I walked those small cobbled back alleys or how many tiny cafes I spent my mornings in, I fell in love every time. And now I was here with the people I cared about most in the world. Andrew and Chrissie had made all of the arrangements, navigating the streets with a practiced ease. So, I was happy to sit beside Charlie while they directed the taxi driver. This was Charlie’s first time to Paris, and together, we watched the buildings whip past as we rode through the sundrenched streets.
“The Four Seasons Hotel?” Charlie gawked, looking up at the building in awe. I shook my head, slapping Andrew’s hands playfully when he went to pay the taxi driver.
“I knew you’d do this,” I teased. “What happened to an affordable trip, hmm?”
“What? We have the money.” Andrew took his bag out of the trunk and slung an arm around my shoulder. “And I want to spoil you.” He pressed a chaste kiss to my temple and I giggled.
“Besides, it’s Charlie’s first time in Paris; you know how picky she is.”
“It’s true,” Charlie lamented, still staring up at the hotel in wonder.
It was beautiful. As we passed through the front doors, our footsteps clacked over tiled fine marble. A giant chandelier hung in the center of the room, throwing rainbow colored light dancing around the open space. Everywhere I looked there were lush plants, luxurious silk, and velvet couches.
“Is it okay?” Andrew whispered, sounding worried. “We can go somewhere else if you're not comfortable.”
“It’s just—” It was gorgeous but I knew how expensive it was to stay here for even a single night. And we were supposed to be here for a week. “I don’t want you to think I expect you to pay for everything or upgrade us everywhere we go.”
Andrew squeezed my shoulder.
“We’re equal in this, okay? I’m sorry. I got excited.”
My stomach twisted pleasantly and I leaned up to kiss him.
“I love that you’re excited,” I reassured him. “I’ll pay for dinner. Deal?”
Andrew laughed but nodded.
“As you wish, Miss Miller.”
We ended up booking three rooms, though I suspected only two of them would be used. Chrissie and Charlie had both slept in Chrissie’s room back at the apartment, and neither of them had admitted anything, but there was a certain softness in the way they looked at each other. I was worried about the wasted money if the third room wasn’t used, but Andrew didn’t seem to mind.
We reached our floor and, sure enough, Chrissie and Charlie said their goodbyes and disappeared into one of the rooms together. Andrew and I exchanged a glance and he raised his eyebrows at me suggestively.
The room was stunning, not that I’d expected anything less. It was more like a guest suite in a palace than a hotel room, with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the terraces I’d spied outside. Everything was covered in marble and handcrafted tiles in delicate blues and creams.
“You really do have a prefered color scheme, don�
��t you?” The bed was perhaps the biggest I’d ever seen, and I flung myself down onto it with a sigh. “Oh yeah.”
“Ah ah ah.” Andrew took my hand and pulled me back up, ignoring my protests. “No time for that; come on we’re going out!”
“What now?”
Andrew lifted his own case onto the bed and stripped off his shirt.
“Yup. Now.” He pulled out a white linen shirt and slipped it on before giving me a wide grin. The buttons were crooked. “Paris awaits!”
I pulled him closer and quickly undid his shirt, making sure to run my hands over the skin of his stomach before redoing the buttons. His smile turned sheepish. “Excited,” he reminded me.
I laughed, pulling him into a kiss.
“Okay, Mister, Paris awaits.”
As we stepped out onto the bustling Parisian streets, hundreds of tourists and locals alike were shouting and laughing as they went.
“Where should we go? There’s Notre Dame, the Eiffel Tower… oh! There’s a really sweet cafe somewhere around here. You’d love the pastries there.”
The last date we’d been on, officially, was Florence, though we’d spent so many days together since then. I could still remember how nervous I was that day, never able to sit still as I wondered whether or not Andrew liked me as much as I liked him. There were no such worries this time around. A weight had been lifted from both our shoulders; there was nothing left to worry about now. Not when it came to each other.
“All brilliant ideas,” Andrew said with an easy smile, taking my hand in his. “But today I get to play tour guide.”
The sun continued to shine as we made our way along the busy streets hand in hand. As we walked, I imagined what it would be like to do this everyday: traveling to different countries and cities, walking hand in hand down alleyways, and ducking into cafes and boutiques. The future lay out ahead of me, bright and shining and I couldn’t wait.
When we reached Pont de L’Alma I stopped, tugging excitedly at Andrew’s arm.