“Did he say anything when you two…?” Jed asked, bringing her back to their conversation. “Did he notice…?”
Embarrassed by the heat on her cheeks, she shifted her eyes away and said, “I wondered if he would, but if he noticed, he never said anything.”
The fear of Brian finding out she’d slept with Jed had clutched her so hard that night, she’d nearly cried that first time with Brian, and he had taken that to mean he needed to be even more careful with her. She didn’t tell Jed how different it had been to lie beneath Brian than to lie with him. How different she had been. Brian had gone slow. Even after they’d been making love for weeks he’d been careful and tender, so different from the uncontrollable passion that had exploded between her and Jed. She’d felt guilty about that for a while, but she’d chalked the chemistry up to her imagination, telling herself she’d built their night into an unachievable fantasy. She’d convinced herself she couldn’t have been wild and free with Jed the very first time she’d had sex. But now she was questioning that belief. If just his presence made her feel like her skin was on fire, then maybe she hadn’t imagined the combustible chemistry between them after all.
“From that day on, Brian and I were together, and when we found out I was pregnant, we got married.”
Jed leaned closer, speaking directly into her ear in a low, sexy voice. “I bet you were a beautiful bride.”
“We had a courthouse wedding, and I wasn’t very beautiful.”
“You can’t help but look gorgeous. Brian was lucky to be the man to win your heart.”
She melted not only at his words, but also at the longing in his eyes, and she told herself not to get carried away. “You won my heart that night we spent together, too.”
The edges of his lips lifted, and when he opened his mouth to respond, Hail ran past and yelled, “I want to fly to Pluto!” He went to the colorful Mission Control console with three other children and began pushing buttons, wiggling levers, and making lots of vroom noises.
Hail ran back to them and grabbed Josie’s hand. Then he took Moon’s hand and said, “Can we go see the Wonderland room now? Kennedy said Wonderland is the best!” His head whipped from side to side, pleading to them both. “I bet Bradley and Lila would like it, too! Kennedy said they had mazes and mirrors that make you look funny and flowers that change color…”
Josie and Jed shared a laugh as Hail excitedly described all the things Kennedy had told him about the exhibit.
“I can’t wait for Wonderland,” Josie said as they left the solar room.
“Me too,” Jed said with a devilish glimmer in his eyes, and then he started humming “Your Body Is a Wonderland” by John Mayer.
After the Wonderland exhibit, they had lunch in the café on the first floor, and Hail barely slowed down enough to eat. They explored and enjoyed everything the museum had to offer, including the carousel, which Jed insisted Josie ride with them. In the gift shop he bought Hail a balloon and a stuffed rabbit, despite her protests. He said the rabbit reminded him of a stuffed bunny he’d had as a kid. She loved knowing that little secret about him.
“Can we get pizza for dinner?” Hail asked as they pulled out of the parking lot.
Josie cringed inside. Jed had paid for everything, and she felt bad, but he refused to let her spend a penny. She had a feeling dinner would be no different, and she didn’t want him to feel obligated to keep buying them things, so she said, “I can make spaghetti when we get back.”
“Okay,” Hail said, though his disappointment was obvious in his deflated voice and sad face, but Josie was glad he didn’t push.
JED CHECKED HIS rearview mirror and saw Hail happily playing with his stuffed rabbit, his balloon bobbing beside him. He stifled the urge to say he’d take them for pizza. He knew Josie was worried about money, but he had plenty, and he wanted to spend it on them. He reached across the front seat of the truck and took her hand, bringing her beautiful eyes to his. They connected with a sizzling jolt of electricity, and as had happened every time they were together, it took him a moment to push past that heat and find his voice.
“I can handle buying p-i-z-z-a,” he said softly. “I’m not wealthy, but I make a good living.”
“You’ve done so much already. I don’t want you to feel like you have to buy us things all the time.”
“I don’t, and I also don’t want this day to end.” He squeezed her hand and said, “I can’t remember ever having such a great day. Let me take you guys for that round delicious thing we’re not talking about.”
She smiled, and it lit up his whole truck. “Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
She glanced at Hail. “Okay, thank you.”
He felt like he’d won the lottery. “Hey, bud, change of plans. We’re going for pizza.”
“Yay!” Hail’s happiness hit Jed smack in the center of his chest.
They went to a quaint restaurant that made wood-fired pizza and sat at a counter where Hail could watch them making it. He asked a million questions, and in between answers, Jed and Josie talked. It was like having a Swiss-cheese conversation, peppered with holes, and he loved every second of it.
The sun was setting when they left the restaurant, and by the time they reached the highway, Hail was fast asleep in the back seat, his little head lolling to the side. Josie was gazing out the window. They’d laughed a lot today, and it felt natural holding hands with Hail and sneaking heated glances with Josie. He’d fought the urge to kiss her so many times he amused himself with his inability to remember not to.
He wanted to kiss her now more than ever. To seal their incredible day with a promise of more. He focused on the road, thinking about Hail and how funny he was. He had said he didn’t like mushrooms. Jed had offered him one anyway and coaxed him into trying it. Hail had scrunched his face as he ate it. Then his eyes had flown open wide and he’d asked Jed to trade his slice of pepperoni pizza for a slice of mushroom. There were so many moments like that—first discoveries—for Hail and for him and Josie. He knew this was the start of something he could never turn away from. His favorite part of the day was when they rode the carousel. Josie and Hail had never ridden one before, and the sheer joy in their faces, her melodic laughter, and Hail’s carefree giggles made him want to explore all the rest of their firsts with them.
“What are you grinning about?” Josie asked.
“Everything.” He glanced in the rearview. Hail was still fast asleep. “Why don’t you slide over here so we don’t wake him.” He patted the seat beside him.
She unbuckled her seat belt and slid across the seat. As she put on her seat belt again she said, “Did you just use my sleeping child as a ploy to get closer to me?”
“I’m a dude; we call them wingmen.”
“That is so wrong.” She put her hand on his leg and said, “But I’m glad you did.”
“Oh yeah. You want a piece of me, huh?” He waggled his brows, and she poked him in the ribs. “Hey!”
She laughed, and then her amusement morphed to a more serious expression, and she moved her hand off his leg. The air shifted, grew colder.
“Babe? I’m sorry if that was too presumptuous.”
“It wasn’t.”
“Well, it was too something.” When she didn’t respond he said, “I’m not a mind reader, and I really suck at trying to be, so can you clue me in on what just happened?”
She sighed and said, “I’m worrying about something that’s really none of my business.”
“Spit it out, Jojo. I’ve got nothing to hide.”
“Okay, the thing is, I’m not experienced in getting hurt by a guy, but I’m not immune to it.”
“And you think I’m going to hurt you?” Shit. From one comment?
“No, but maybe? I should just shut up, because if I say it, it’ll make me sound jealous.”
“I’d love to know what you could possibly be jealous over. I’ve thought about nothing but you and Hail since I saw you standing on Bones’
s porch Christmas night.”
“Really?”
She asked it so innocently he couldn’t resist pulling her tight against his side and pressing a kiss to her temple. “Really. Trust me, Jojo, you don’t want to know how much I’ve been thinking about you.”
A sweet, soft, embarrassed laugh escaped. “Then I’m probably overthinking this, but Penny mentioned a party that the Whiskeys are throwing tomorrow night. She said she thought you had invited me. I figured you probably already had a date or something.”
“Christ, that’s what you’re worried about?”
“Yes. Is that so weird?”
“Not at all. The only reason I haven’t asked you is because I figured I got lucky when you said not to hold back, but I didn’t want to smother you. I’ve been trying to work out how to ask you without it seeming like a date, so I wouldn’t scare you off.”
“Now I feel stupid.”
“Don’t. This is so much better than me saying it’d be cool if you’d show up at the party and then casually throw in that I want to pick you up and drive you home because there are too many drunks on the road on the holidays.”
“How is that any different than asking me on a date?”
“See? That’s the problem. Any way I frame it, it’s a date.”
“Okay, let’s make this easy. Don’t hold back means ask me on dates, text me, whatever you want. But if you are seeing more girls than just me, I need to know so I can manage Hail’s expectations.”
“Hail’s expectations?” he said teasingly.
“Yes. He’s just a little boy. He could get attached to all the hand-holding and…”
“Hungry looks I give his mother?”
She bumped him with her shoulder.
“Or maybe he’s getting attached to the squirrelly feeling he gets every time we’re together? Or the way my body catches fire when you lick your lips? Yeah, I can see how that might be addicting.”
“Stop,” she said lightly. “I’m serious. Neither one of us can afford to get hurt, but that doesn’t mean I’m asking you for a relationship.”
“Oh, I see. You want to use me,” he teased. “Have me hang out, make you feel wanted…”
She gasped. “No, of course not!”
He turned off the highway and pulled over in a dark parking lot. He put the truck in park, and a quick glance in the back seat told him Hail was still out like a light.
“What are you doing?” she asked in a rushed whisper.
“Showing you just how much you’ve monopolized my thoughts for nearly a week.” He threaded his fingers into her hair and said, “And if we were alone, I’d show you just how much you’ve monopolized them for the past several years.”
He lowered his lips to hers slowly, making sure she was on the same page. Her lips were warm and soft, and holy hell, she was definitely on the same page. Her tongue swept eagerly over his, sweet and deliciously hungry. He took the kiss deeper, and she grabbed his face, pulling him closer, kissing him harder. He was right there with her, taking and giving in equal measure. He’d kissed plenty of women, but never had mere kisses lit him up like fireworks. She made a sinful noise, and his cock grew painfully hard behind his zipper. But he was fiercely aware of her little boy in the back seat, which made the throbbing in his pants seem unimportant. He slid one hand to her cheek, cradling her face as he brushed his thumb over her warm skin and eased his efforts. But she whimpered, and he couldn’t stop himself from taking more. They both came away breathless.
“Tomorrow night.” He pressed another kiss to her lips. “You, me, and Hail are ringing in the New Year together. I’ll pick you up at eight.”
“How fancy is the party?” she asked tentatively.
“It’s not. And if it were, no matter what you wore, you’d be the most gorgeous woman in the room.” He took her in another slow, sensual kiss, and her hand fell to his thigh, squeezing tight. Fuuuck. The image of her hand wrapped around his cock flew into his mind, and he forced himself to put space between them.
“Sorry. Nerves.” She moved her hand to her lap.
He laced his fingers with hers and set her hand on his thigh. “Get used to being nervous, babe, because I like your hands on me.”
He kissed her one more time, long and deep, and man, he was going to need a cold shower tonight.
As he pulled the truck back onto the road, she sighed and said, “Good Lord, Moon. Those kisses…”
Chapter Eight
“PLOTTING YOUR NEXT murder or writing a love note to Juicy Jed?” Tracey asked as she plunked down beside Josie on the couch in the recreation room.
“Juicy Jed?” Josie closed her notebook.
She wasn’t exactly writing a love note, but she was writing something that was for her eyes only. She’d started writing letters to Brian a few months after he died. At first she’d written because she’d missed him so much and it had made her feel closer to him. But after several months, those tearful letters had turned into updates on hers and Hail’s life, a written account of their lives moving forward. She wasn’t sure exactly when the tears had stopped or when those updates had become more like journal entries than letters. But this morning she was writing about reconnecting with Jed and how different things were with him than they had been with Brian. She’d thought about starting a new journal instead of writing in what she thought of as Brian’s, but she wanted to keep them together because although she had feelings for Jed, Brian would always be in her heart.
“After the way you described his kisses, I’m thinking the rest of him is mighty tasty, too.”
Josie eyed Hail, who was busy building a garage out of blocks. He was so comfortable with Jed, he’d talked about him all morning and was excited to go to the party with him tonight. Josie, on the other hand, was excited and nervous, which was beginning to feel like a constant state of being. She couldn’t stop thinking about their steamy kisses and how much she’d wished they had been alone so they could do more. It was those thoughts that had kept her up all night, wrestling with guilt and desire. Only…she didn’t know if she should feel guilty. Brian wouldn’t want her to stop living. She had no idea if she was moving too fast or not, even though she knew that when it came to Jed, she was unable to slow down. There was something about him that made her want and need in ways she never had, and those emotions had only gotten stronger lately.
“Let’s go with plotting a murder,” Josie said, wishing she’d kept the juicy details of their evening to herself. “You’ll take care of Hail while I’m in prison, right?”
“I’ve got your back. I’ll even bring you a cake with a nail file in it.” She leaned over Josie’s shoulder and said, “Whose murder are we planning?”
Josie smirked. “Yours, if you keep thinking about Moon as being juicy.”
“Ha! Someone’s jealous.”
“I don’t know what I am. I was never jealous over Brian. But isn’t there a girl code about this stuff? Juicy Jed. You make him sound like a hamburger.”
“Hm, a Jedburger.”
Josie smacked her arm. “Girl code!”
Tracey laughed. “Sorry. This code thing is new to me. I’ve never had many girlfriends. I can’t wait for you to meet Izzy. She’s hilarious, and she doesn’t take crap from anyone. She’s really good friends with Jed, though, so be ready to see them teasing each other.”
“After last night, there’s no mistaking how he feels about me. As far as Izzy goes, I imagine Jed’s flirty and teases lots of girls, because he is a bartender. It’s kind of his job, and he’s got that personality.” She set her notebook on the table and said, “Know what else is weird? I feel like I’ve had two separate lives and I’m embarking on a third. Nobody here knew my parents besides Sarah and Scotty. And none of you knew Brian. It’s like that part of my life isn’t part of who I am now. Not Brian, of course. He’s always going to own a huge part of my heart.” She lowered her voice and said, “But while the first few months after he died were horrible, our lives didn’t stop moving
forward. After the first year, I felt different, like I had become stronger, and now it’s like I’ve gained perspective or something. I don’t miss him like I used to. Is that bad? Do you think I’m a bad person to be attracted to Moon two years after losing Brian?”
“No, you’re not a bad person. And I know every marriage is sacred, but you’re so young. You also didn’t go looking for a replacement. I think it’s fate. I mean what are the chances that you’d reconnect with the one guy who meant anything to you that many years ago?”
“That’s what I keep wondering, and then I feel guilty. Why have I had such good luck when Sarah’s had such bad luck? I feel so guilty having been happy for all those years when I know Sarah was miserable.”
“That’s because you’re a good person. I think a lot of people would just be counting their blessings and pretending that what Sarah went through had never happened.”
“I don’t even know what Scotty’s been through, but I know he carries guilt for leaving us when he ran away. He’s a guy, so he probably wasn’t hurt physically by someone like Sarah was. But there are other kinds of hurt, and what if he was alone all that time? That’s just as bad, isn’t it?”
“Maybe, but from what you and Sarah said, he had such a terrible time with your parents that being alone might have been his saving grace. Are you going to move in with him?”
“I’m not sure. I want to. I mean, he’s my brother, and I’ve missed him so much. But I don’t want to put him out, and it’s been years since we’ve seen each other. It would be nice to get to know each other as adults. I’ll see how things feel Wednesday when he shows me the house.”
“That sounds like a plan, but if you don’t move in with him, tell him I could use a big brother protecting me.”
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