Suckers Go To Hell Book # 4 (San Francisco Vampires)

by Jessica McBrayer

  Hannah frowned and put her hands on her pretty pink covered hips.

  “No, honey, that’s not what I mean,” Diel said back tracking. “I think you look like a knock out. God, you look hot.” He rubbed his face. “How do I say this? I love the look and I’m sure my parents will too. But I really love my kick ass, little leather clad, Ganja Girl.” He smiled sheepishly at her.

  Hannah grinned at him and jumped into his arms wrapping her legs around his waist. Good call, Demon boy. He really landed it well.

  “Wait until you see what I have on underneath this,” she whispered in his ear. Diel turned red.

  “I heard that, eeuw. Please. I’m going now. And I’m taking Hades. He doesn’t need to be a part of these shenanigans,” I declared. I popped out with my godson into the manse.

  “How did it go, Aidan?” Lilith asked, bouncing up and down in her Louboutins.

  “Easy lover, your work was a huge success. You should have seen his face. He admitted she looked hot but he loved his other Hannah. Then she had to mention that he should see what was underneath and that’s when I took Hades and got out of there.”

  Sebastian and Helena laughed. Lilith smirked.

  “Hannah really got into the lingerie buying. The girl had never gone lingerie shopping before. I really should have done this a long time ago.” Disgust writ large on that gorgeous face.

  “Easy, chou chou, Hannah would not have allowed it before now.” Sebastian ran a hand down her back. “Hannah had to be properly motivated,” He reminded her. We all enjoyed the moment. Only in-laws could have gotten our Goth girl into haute couture.

  “Here, everyone, I took a picture of her. Look,” Lilith said as she passed her iPhone around.

  “Wow,” Sebastian said. “She’s got legs.”

  “I know, right?” I said.

  “She’s always had lovely legs but you’re right the heels always accentuate a woman’s legs and Hannah had nice ones to start with.” Helena passed the phone back to Lily. “Lily, you did a wonderful job with an unwilling victim. She is actually smiling in the picture,” she said.

  “Yes, sometime after our facials she started to come around. It was such a fun day for me and I think she had some fun too.”

  “Good, ma Cherie. You needed to have a good day,” Sebastian said. His brow wrinkled as his face wore the feeling we all shared where it came to Lilith lately. I was very worried about her. She hadn’t seemed to snap out of her melancholy. Helping Hannah had given her a moment’s reprieve from her uncharacteristically subdued behavior.

  4. HANNAH

  “Let me see what’s under that delightful dress,” Diel whispered as he cupped my backside while he held me up.

  “You got to catch me first,” I said in a husky voice and kissed his throat in just the spot he liked, then jumped down and ran for the bedroom, laughing.

  Diel was hot on my trail, taking his shirt off as he ran. By the time he hit the bedroom he was shirtless, showing his magnificent chest. I was drooling.

  “Leave the shoes on, babe,” he said.

  Oh God.

  He walked up to me and started kissing my neck and gently bit my earlobe, making me weak in the knees. With the five-inch heels on I was closer to his height, it was a nice change. His hands were roaming all over me making me wiggle and moan. He moved to the back and unzipped my dress letting it drop to the floor.

  There I stood in my pretty white French lingerie. The most delicate bra and panties I have ever seen, let alone worn. Diel groaned then picked me up and buried his face in my chest making me squeal. He threw me on the bed and stripped for me. Then climbed on top, helped me take off the rest of my “clothes.”

  “You make me complete, Hannah, my mate, my lover.”

  “You are so beautiful, Diel, I love you.” And that is all I could say as his mouth found mine and we were lost to our passion.

  I kept my shoes on.

  Later that evening, Diel was helping me go through my purchases and pack.

  “You seem to have an excess of lingerie for the trip,” he said raising an eyebrow.

  “It’s not all for the trip. I thought a change was in order. What do you think?”

  “Oh, I could handle it,” he said, blowing out a big breath while he held up a black lacy thong by two fingers. He swallowed and looked at me with that look that said he was ready for round two.

  “Whoa, big boy. I have to finish packing,” I said giggling. Yes, Hannah the bad ass, actually giggled.

  “Lily bought you enough clothes for two visits.”

  “I know, but she told me I had to be prepared for anything.”

  Diel’s rich rumble of laughter filled the room. I wrapped my arms around his warm body and hugged him tightly. I loved him so much. He filled an empty hole in my life I hadn’t known I had.

  He kissed the top of my head.

  “Don’t sweat it, babe. My parents will love you because I love you. They were thrilled I mated.”

  “I’m still nervous. I’m a Vamp and they may not like that. I think they want little demon babies.”

  “Well I want little demon Vampire babies.”

  “Diel, that’s not funny, you know how much I would like to have children.” I couldn’t believe he would be so insensitive.“Honey, you didn’t do as much research on Voogle as you should have. It is possible. I’ve been trying to get you pregnant since the moment I met you,” he said softly.

  I burst into sobs since I couldn’t actually create tears. Me! Pregnant! I love children. If only it were possible.

  “But how? I don’t understand?”

  “There is a magick that happens when a Vampire and a demon mate, darling.” He gently hugged me. “They are able to create a hybrid child. I thought you knew.”

  “N-no,” I stuttered and started to cry again, this time for joy. I hugged him so tightly he gasped for air. “Sorry.” He’s a fine big demon and I’m a little on the small size but I have outsized Vamp strength.

  “It’s fine. I’m fine. One of the things I want to do when we go down under is visit a fertility specialist. We should have conceived by now.” He said casually. “I don’t know why we haven’t.”

  “It’s probably something wrong with me,” I said. Instantly suspecting my Vampire genes.

  “Shhh, it could be me or it could be that we just need more time.”

  I took Diel’s hand and started dragging him to the bedroom.

  “What are you doing?” he asked with raised brows.

  “We gotta get in more practice. We have a baby to make, lover.” His deep laugh followed behind me and then he scooped me up and carried me the rest of the way.

  5. HANNAH

  We left the next morning. I had fed that morning just before dawn on a reliable source. I fed sooner than usual but I would be gone for a week and needed to prepare. Then I was out for the count but Diel would drive while I slept. I still had to sleep during the day. I would have to until I was around two hundred years old. It sucked garlic.

  We had rented an SUV for the trip since we had too much luggage, thanks to my shopping trip and the need to bring Hades. We wouldn’t fit into a family sedan let alone into Diel’s Porsche. Ready or not, we were on our way to Bakersfield. Who knew that it was one of the portals to Hell? Well, if you think about it, it’s not a huge stretch.

  We had timed it so that we reached Bakersfield just after I woke up. We stopped so Diel could eat and feed Hades. I freshened up and then we went to find the portal. Diel didn’t have to use it. Since he was a Duke he merely had to open his own portal wherever he was and slip through. It wouldn’t allow anyone else through though, so we had to take a public portal. Taking a public portal was like traveling coach, you never knew who you’ll be sharing the ride with.

  The Gate was well hidden in a Pink Ladies warehouse, which explained a few things. Those women were demon spawn if there ever were such a thing. The pyramid makeup sales plan alone was something straight from Hell.

  We parked
the car in long term parking and unloaded all our gear. Hades was happy to run around for a bit. He seemed to know where we were headed. I called him back to me and put on his leash. Diel managed the bags. He had a key card to enter the warehouse. It blinked green and we walked in.

  The interior was not at all what I expected. No boxes with pink roses on them holding moisturizers and stay young creams. Instead Demons of all sorts milled around, sipping coffee and eating expensive portal food. Hades was the only Hell Hound. The Hound caused quite a stir, as did my mate since he was a famous Duke, and didn’t need to take public transport. He whispered that public portals were for lesser demons.

  The cheap grey carpeting was a disappointment, every public institution in the universe must order from the same vender. Magicked windows showed both Hell and the world above. This was my first glimpse at Hell and I was mesmerized. The landscapes were all foreign, with crimson leaved trees in full bloom. Birds were more like reptiles – aah dragons? So that’s where the legends come from. Erratic flames erupted randomly from the large birds/dragon thingies but the trees seemed to be immune to them. Interesting.

  “It’s summer in Hell right now,” Diel explained.

  “Ah,” I said. Lame but I was speechless. A bit like a child seeing Christmas lights for the first time.

  Diel smiled and tugged on my hand while Hades hurled himself at one demon after another, his eyes glowing.

  “Hey, buddy, I know what you’re up to. No hooking up Demons right now. We have to catch our portal. Come on. Hades! Come. On.” It took all my strength to get him to follow us. Hades is a matchmaker. He ran away from Diel to “adopt me” and when his irate owner tracked him down it was love at first shout. Hades didn’t get to use his special power of matching up potential mates very often. He was especially tuned into Demons. His wiring must have been firing like a lightning storm.

  I heard Diel chuckle. All nice for him. I was wearing this year’s signature Louboutins and an Yves St. Laurent dress trying to handle Hades. Diel whistled and Hades came in to heel. Hmm, neat trick.

  There were portals lined up along the far wall. They appeared to be a gooey plasma substance that you could see through to the other side. Each was monitored by an agent, similar to a flight attendant. Demons were queuing up at the gates or popping through them. Diel stopped to read a sign and directed us to portal number six. I’m so glad he was paying attention. We were scheduled to leave in ten minutes.

  We hurried to our portal and walked to the front of the line. I was embarrassed until I saw everyone bowing to Diel. I didn’t know how to respond to this. Did this mean I was Mrs. Duke?

  “Your Grace, what a pleasure to have you porting with us today,” the agent said.

  “Thank you.” Diel never acted like a big shot, one of the things I adored about him. “As you can see we have a lot of luggage and a Hell Hound. I would appreciate a porter please. I want to accompany my mate through the portal,” he said. He assumed an air of authority I’d only seen when he’d tried to take Hades from me when we first met.

  “Yes, Sir.” The agent, a perky blonde, looked me over after Diel called me his mate. Thank you, Lily, for the clothes! I stood tall in my Louboutins, knowing I looked every bit as royal as any other wealthy Duchess on the planet.

  She snapped her fingers and a lesser Demon came crawling over. He was what most people thought Demons should look like, bright red, horns and scaly. He had incredible strength and two sets of arms, which came in handy. More limbs to carry our bags. He grabbed them and got sucked through the portal. Unconsciously, I was stepping away from his less than charming scent.

  Diel took my hand and suddenly I was a little nervous. I shook myself. Hades slipped closer to me and edged me toward the portal with Diel. We jumped through.

  It was like being sucked through Jello. Very disorienting. Diel wrapped his arms around me right before we jumped and I felt him tighten them mid jump. I appreciated it. I loved how he always did little things like that. He never missed showing me he cared for my well-being.

  We landed in a room very similar to the one we left. The air tasted stale to my super Vamp senses. The colors were off, just a little bit too. I couldn’t explain it but it was like a bad photo exposure of earth, everything oversaturated. I wondered if Diel felt that way when he cames top side. I’d have to ask him some time.

  Our bags were waiting for us. Diel tipped the porter well. Hades was jumping up and down. Each bark shot a dart of fire through the air. Demons yelped and jumped out of the way but no one seemed surprised. We weren’t in Berkeley anymore. We left the terminal and Diel hailed a cab.

  The driver was blue. A royal blue with one eye. I was hoping it had excellent vision. Long nails curled around the steering wheel, tapping it impatiently while Diel gave him a number and street. His fingers stopped immediately, at the address. Then he did a double take and went all professional from then on. He even got out, helping with the bags. Hades got to ride in the front seat with his head hanging out.

  Diel pulled me into his arms as the car took off.

  “A lot to take in?” he asked.

  “Yes, how did you know?”

  “You haven’t said two words since we left,” he said and kissed my forehead. “Just think of it like you are visiting any foreign country. Observe, try to mimic the customs and laugh when you make a mistake. It will be fine. No one is here to judge you, babe.”

  Sure they weren’t, everyone here had already been judged by the big ‘S’. But I also knew that’s where he was wrong. I knew mammas. They wanted to know everything about the girls their baby boys brought home.

  “My parents aren’t home yet. They are driving back from the country today. We’ll drop our things off and then we have a doctor’s appointment if that’s okay.”

  “Yes, I’m excited about that. And it will be nice to get situated before meeting your parents.”

  “I thought so too. That’s why we came early. Plus Dr. Hildebrand made a special exception to see us today. Sometimes pulling rank has its advantages,” he said. Then he kissed me behind the ear in that spot that drove me wild. I squirmed and Diel settled back a little and sighed.

  “I can’t wait to get somewhere private,” he whispered.

  “Sidheil,” I said, using his full name, straightening my dress, my designer dress, that had to stay nice, until I met his parents. He just laughed and held me tighter.

  6. HANNAH

  Soon the cab was winding through streets in a neighborhood drenched in affluence. Houses took up whole blocks, with grand lawns and landscaping. Beautiful plants and trees I had never seen before were showcased in their summer glory. I began to get nervous again. I was wealthy but came from humble people. This was not how I rolled.

  “Relax, babe. I know it looks intimidating but they are nice people. They inherited their money and titles.”

  “Okay, I’ve just never been around so much, “much”…”

  “Relax. This is just for show. Most of these people, I would never associate with. They’re stuck up assholes. You know that’s not how I am. Right?” he said.

  “Right. It’s just …,” I said.

  “Oh babe, don’t let them intimidate you. Not my Ganja Girl. My strong, brave Hannah.”

  “It doesn’t help that I am wearing all this fru-fru clothing. But on the other hand it helps me a lot. I feel a little off because of it. Not myself.”

  “You look gorgeous, but I know what you mean. I’m still getting used to it. I miss my Goth girl – she’s still in there though, I can see it when the fangs drop.”

  We turned a corner and the driver pulled up to a gate. Diel had him line up our window to the keypad so he could enter the code. When the gate slid open we pulled through. The drive went on forever, shaded in trees that looked similar to weeping willows but with purple leaves. It was striking. When we finally came over a little hill and turned around a small pond I saw the “house” for the first time.

  OMG!

  H
ouse was a misnomer. This was a freakin English manor. This sucker was huge. Ginormous. Monstrous. I would get lost in there, I knew it. Easily one hundred rooms, I was guessing. Stunning was the word for it. Hades was barking. He obviously remembered being there. The driver jumped every time a flame came out of Hade’s mouth. Nothing caught on fire.

  The cab stopped and the cabbie rushed to get my door. Diel got out and stretched. He helped the man get our bags out and I got Hades under control, sort of. We hiked to the front door but it opened before we reached it. A butler held the double doors wide. Diel simply nodded at him and I smiled slightly. The man nodded back. No smile. This was definitely not an Andrew situation.

  “The main parlor is over there,” Diel said pointing with his chin. “That’s where we meet most of the time. We will be staying in my bedroom right up the stairs.”

  The “stairs” were a grand, double staircase that met in the middle and split into two wings. We went to the right. Diel explained that his parents slept in the left wing. Good enough for me.

  I counted the doors to Diels room so I wouldn’t get lost. Seven doors down on the left, I opened the door for him. We went inside and he immediately dropped the bags and picked me up.

  “Now, I have you in private. What should I do with you?” he said huskily.

  “When’s our doctor’s appointment?”

  “In two hours.”

  “Oh baby, I can think of a few things.” And I whispered them into his ear making him groan and throw me on the super-sized, four-poster bed.

  Later when I was freshening up in his sumptuous bathroom, I was thinking about the possibilities of being a parent with Diel. It would mean this child would have grandparents. There was no way Helena and Julian were not going to get in on that action. I smiled to myself and held my belly. Oh, I would love to have a baby. If it truly were possible, I would swear off hippie blood the whole pregnancy. Weed couldn’t be good for a baby. Then again we are talking a Vampire-demon baby. I would have to ask the doctor.

  Diel came up from behind me and placed his hands on my tummy too.