I remember a lone gray gull with a white beak, hanging on the wind as if suspended from an invisible cord. We moved along, but the gull didn’t move. It hovered, watching us pass, and it seemed wondrous to me. I studied it for as long as I could, amazed by how it used the wind to hold its place in the air.
As I look back, each moment of the sailing was like that. By age nine I had come to see that each hour of my life was a wonder. Life itself was a precious gift. And simply being warm. I was still a long way from taking warmth for granted, or sitting in the sunshine, or having a dress to wear that was not wet and stiff with ice, and having food before us whenever we were hungry. Any form of food filled me with gratitude. To this day I will not waste a morsel if I can help it. Each morning I give thanks for the gift of my life.
That afternoon we anchored at Yerba Buena cove. The fellow who rowed us in was a Mormon. It seemed like half the people there were Mormons. With a challenging eye he asked papa what he thought about the town’s new name. Papa said he couldn’t say unless he knew what it was. He’d run into the fellow once before, the first time he crossed the bay to take care of some business at the port. He already knew the name but acted like a newcomer, just leading the fellow on.
We all got a lecture then. We heard this boatman scoff at Washington Bartlett, formerly the mayor. Before he sailed back to New England with the fleet, he had renamed the town San Francisco. To match the name of the bay, Bartlett said. According to the boatman, a lot of people didn’t like it, and some never would.
“Every town on this whole blamed coast is named after a Catholic,” he complained, “from San Diego clear on up!”
We stayed overnight in a rooming house papa knew about. He showed us the hall where they held the meeting to raise money for the rescue and told us who was there. The changes in the town amazed him. In just eight months the population had doubled, he said. It still wasn’t much to look at, by today’s standards, but it was the biggest town I’d seen in over a year. There must have been fifteen ships offshore. Two years later, of course, the bay would be filled with ships from every port on earth, and the town spreading every which way, up the hills and out toward what they call North Beach, and clear over to Mission Dolores. Wharves would poke into the bay like the fingers of a giant hand, as crowds poured in looking for the nuggets that would make them rich.
I’ve heard people say the Gold Rush made California the kind of place it is today. Why do you think it’s called the Golden State, they will say. I suppose they’re right. But as I look back, the towns were already filling up with dreamers and schemers, my papa, James Frazier Reed, among them. The day we stopped in San Francisco was still four months before James Marshall came into Sutter’s Fort with the little sack of shiny flakes and flecks and pebbles he had taken out of the American River. It was September 1847, and already there was a current in the air. I can’t help thinking if it hadn’t been the Gold Rush it would have been some other kind of rush. There was a look in the eye of every person you saw of something on the verge and about to burst forth. You could see it in papa’s eye after we had climbed the hill from the beach, as he stood in Portsmouth Square counting the buildings he hadn’t seen before. He’d lost a hundred animals and three loaded wagons and most of his money. He’d lost a lot of his pride too and his stubbornness. But he had not lost his drive or his will. He was not too old to start over. The fact is, there were no two ways about it. In those days you could not take out much time to lick your wounds. It was start over or die.
THE NEXT MORNING we were on the water gain, tacking against a steady wind out of the south and west. As we neared the lower end of the bay I could see a green fringe ahead, with mountains swelling on both sides. Far away to the south the ranges seemed to meet. It looked like we were sailing into a flat-bottomed bowl. The fringe turned out to be a border of tule fields. Guadalupe Creek came out of the coastal mountains and flowed across Santa Clara Valley from south to north and wound through these tules for six or seven miles, among the sloughs and muddy islands. The wind was out of the north now. It ruffled the blue-green water and eased us along a twisting channel lined with stalks and tassels rustling in the wind.
As I imagine how we must have looked that day, coming up to the wharf, I am reminded of men we would see years later when there were streets in San Jose and San Francisco, men we’d known in the mountains. You would never be able to tell, from the tailored cut of their coats and fancy hats, the unspeakable things they had done to one another. As we stood on the deck, you would never have known what mama’s eyes had seen, or my eyes, or papa’s, or Virginia’s. We were just one more load of emigrants like those who’d been rolling and riding and sailing in for all these months, glad to be there and looking for a new place to set down roots.
A wagon carried us into the pueblo. We stopped long enough to pick up some provisions and three horses papa had bought and kept boarded at a livery stable. Then we rode on around the southern shore of the bay and up to the Mission of St. Joseph and pitched our tent underneath an old fig tree with limbs so thick and layered we almost could have got along without the tent. The ground smelled like figs and grass and sweet jam, though the trees had been picked clean. Papa had ferried down from Napa twice to get the fruit harvested, those acres of pears and apples and figs and quince. He had found his first nest egg hanging from those limbs. He got the fruit dried and sacked and hauled to the port and shipped clear across to the Hawaiian Islands to trade for sugar and coffee and coconut oil. Captain Sutter told him how to do it. He’d been out to Honolulu and knew half the people there, or so he claimed.
Once we had our camp set up, papa started mending walls and fences, puttering around the trees, clearing a place where he believed he would build a house once he had an uncontested title. Every couple of days he would ride into the pueblo, where he had been elected to the new town council. He was that kind of go-getter. They already had big plans for Alta California, which in those days stretched clear across to Utah. It could all be one big state of the Union, they told one another, with the capital right there in San Jose de Guadalupe.
At age nine, of course, I didn’t know all this. I was busy savoring each day. I think of it as the high point of our gypsy period, a golden time that came to a sudden and unforeseeable end.
I had started keeping a diary, as I’d seen Virginia do. There was a bulky apple trunk I liked to hide behind while I wrote out my little entry for the day. One afternoon, deep in concentration, I heard a scrape and peeked around the side of my tree and saw an Indian about fifty feet away, sitting on a horse. There were still Indians all through that country but we had not seen any close to the mission. It was odd for him to be there alone, like a man staring through a window who doesn’t think anyone can see him.
The air was still. The leaves around him hung in silence, the only sound a distant chuck of papa’s axe where he was cutting wood. A low adobe wall ran along one side of the old garden compound, with the orchard starting behind this wall, and that’s where he was, back in among the trees, studying our tent. He looked familiar to me, the way he sat so straight, the shape of his head and face, the black hair hanging beneath his hat, though the hat was different and the clothes too, high boots, a Spanish jacket. But the buttery light of late afternoon gave his brown skin a softness I remembered.
Nine months had passed since the Snowshoe Party left Truckee Lake. I still didn’t know all that happened on that trip. While we were at the fort I’d seen the wounded eyes of Bill Eddy. I’d seen Mary Graves, who once would glare at me but now looked like a prisoner released from solitary confinement. When I asked mama about Salvador and Luis she shook her head and looked away and said they’d been lost in the mountains. I knew “lost” could mean dead. I guess I also wanted it to mean they might still be “found.”
So I observed this fellow carefully, while he observed our tent and around it the dormitories and remnants of the mission garden and beyond that the old sheds and abandoned warehouses and mud-wa
lled chapel with its deep-set window frames, and roof caved in, as if he’d been sitting on his horse for centuries watching things appear and disappear.
When I could bear it no longer I stepped out from behind my tree. Like a little test of my voice in the orchard quiet, I said, softly, “Cuidado, señor.”
His body jerked, and this startled the horse. His features changed so quickly, I cried out. The smoothness turned hard and angry. It was a stranger’s face. I ran to the wall and through the gateway, calling to papa, just then bringing an armload of kindling up to the fire pit behind the tent, where mama cooked. Beside him James Junior and Tommy came dragging branches.
I said, “There’s a man here, papa.”
“Looks like two men, darlin’.”
I turned and saw another rider, leading a string of horses along the far side of the orchard. He was a white man with a black chin beard, in a fancy riding jacket and buckskin pants. He carried a pistol at his waist, a rifle, a powder horn, and a Bowie knife. The Indian had a rifle too and a big knife in his belt, and he wore the kind of cap I’d seen marines in San Francisco wearing, flat and blue with a narrow bill. Everyone carried weapons, of course. It was the white man’s voice that fed my apprehension, mocking, insinuating. As he came up beside the wall he said, “Good evening, Reed.”
“I told you not to bother me out here.”
“We’re only passing through.”
“You thought I was joking.”
“Not you, Reed,” he said with a high laugh, too loud, it seemed to me. “You wouldn’t joke about that.”
“Then be on your way.”
“If I refuse, will you bring my name before the council?”
“Don’t provoke me.”
His horse was restless, snuffing and jerking, pawing through mulch as if it wanted to leap the wall. Both riders were straining at their reins.
“You and the Alcalde are plotting the future,” he said. “Large plans are afoot, or so I hear.”
“These days,” papa said, “everyone has plans.”
“Yet I am not part of them.”
“Is this what you came to tell me?”
The commotion brought mama round from where she’d been cutting up some meat.
“Is this Mrs. Reed?”
Mama nodded.
“Abner Valentine,” he said with a bow over his pommel and a smile of excessive courtesy. “It is my great pleasure and honor. Your husband and I rode together on the plain of Santa Clara …”
“Yes. I’ve heard about that.”
I’d heard about it too. I’d heard papa talk with other men about the battle and heard the way they spoke of one called Valentine. He had become a notorious figure who roamed the hills and valleys, a man who hated Mexicans and possessed vast horse herds somewhere inland. They made it sound as if he’d rounded up every animal west of the Mississippi. No one claimed him as a friend, but you could tell they reveled in the stories of his exploits and his treachery. As is the case with most notorious figures I have happened to run into, he was a disappointment up close, smaller than I expected him to be and something of a dandy.
He sat in his saddle with an expectant smile, as if waiting for mama to say more about what she’d heard, or perhaps invite him to come sit with us, which is what she would have said to almost anyone else who rode up out of nowhere this close to dinnertime. She just watched him, the way papa did.
As if he had some claim on all this property, Valentine looked around and said to mama, like a landlord, “I congratulate you, ma’am, you’ve made quite a pleasant campsite.” Then he said to papa, “I need a brief word with you. Is there a place where we can talk?”
“Tomorrow will be fine. In San Jose.”
Valentine shook his head with a bitter smile, almost a sneer. “I’m finished with the pueblo.”
Now papa’s face was tight. “What’s your business, then? Get to it, and be on your way.”
“You disappoint me, Reed. I was hoping you’d be in a more sociable mood. Under the circumstances I can make a long story short. You remember my friend Carlos …”
“Indeed I do,” said papa. “Buenas tardes.”
With a curt nod the Indian muttered, “Buenas tardes.” He wasn’t looking at papa. He seemed to be looking right at me.
Valentine said, “Carlos has come to collect his money.”
I could feel papa bristle. He took pride in never owing any man for long. “And what money is that?”
Valentine spoke to mama, as if enlisting her support, but with an edge of syrupy sarcasm. “It’s a matter of history. I once told your husband all these trees were for the taking. But I was wrong, and I apologize. Carlos asks me to remind you that his father was an orchard man for the padres. All these trees were planted by his father, who tended them, nurtured them as he nurtured his own sons. Now Carlos would like some compensation, that’s all. It’s not a lot to ask.”
Mama looked at papa. With the color rising through his beard, papa looked at Valentine. Whether or not Carlos understood what had been said on his behalf, you couldn’t tell. He still looked at me, his lips parted, as if he’d seen a ghost.
Papa said, “You’re making this up.”
“Isn’t it true that fruit was harvested …?”
“I have petitions. I have papers …”
“Surely some respect and recognition is due for those who brought these trees to life …”
He was so smug I knew papa wanted to take him by the neck. Valentine seemed on the verge of laughter, as if playing with us, as if he’d made this stop to stir up papa, pester him for having a family and landing a seat on the council, and if he could scare some money out of him along the way, well, that would be a bonus. Maybe he’d been drinking. It had the feel of an ugly prank. But something happened he didn’t expect, judging by the look that now replaced his smirk.
Carlos was talking in Spanish, talking fast, pointing with one hand at me, holding the other against his throat.
Not so cocky, Valentine said, “That pendant your daughter wears …”
My hand reached up to touch the smoothness of the shell. Papa glanced down at me. My head felt light.
He said, “Keep my children out of this!”
“Where did it come from?”
“Do you hear me, Valentine?”
“Carlos is telling me it belonged to his brother.”
“His brother?”
“He wants to have a closer look.”
“What brother? Patty,” papa said, “I told you not to wear that thing.”
As Carlos once again filled the air with Spanish words none of us could follow, papa’s anger boiled up.
“You sonofabitch! Get off this property, both of you! Margaret, go get the rifles!”
“My God, James!”
“Get them,” he said, not looking at her. His eyes stayed on Valentine. “Make sure they’re loaded.”
“Hold on, Reed. There’s no need for firearms.”
“That’s right. As long as you are on your way.”
Mama came out of the tent with two rifles, passing one to papa, holding the other to her chest like a sentry. Right behind her came Virginia, pale and hunched a bit. She’d been down all day with stomach cramps but could not bear to remain inside the tent. Carlos looked at Virginia, and looked at the rifles. You can imagine what was going through his mind, one Indian and all of us whites, and he probably didn’t trust Valentine any more than papa did.
“He says his brother rides for John Sutter.”
“We’ve finished talking, Valentine.”
“Wait!” said mama. Straight to Carlos she said, “What is your brother’s name?”
I think he understood this. But he wouldn’t answer. In Spanish Valentine repeated it. Still he wouldn’t answer, as if he did not want to say the name.
“Was it Salvador?” said mama.
Carlos nodded, then, very agitated, spoke again to Valentine, whose voice took on a new urgency.
“When did y
ou see his brother?”
“Many months ago,” said mama.
“Is it true he was killed in the mountains?”
Papa said, “That was none of our doing.”
“Carlos believes his brother was killed by whites.”
Now mama spoke up, worry and compassion in her eyes. “Tell him his brother traveled in our party. Before he went away he left this ornament … as a gift.”
As Valentine relayed all this, Carlos became very still in his saddle. His horse was still, and he was like a statue. Not a muscle moved. But his eyes were wild. It was like the moment before an earthquake hits, when the air is charged with a power you cannot name. You could see he wanted to do something and was going to do something. Who knew what he was thinking, seeing his dead brother’s pendant around the neck of a white girl.
I think their words had hit him hard. I know they hit me, confirming what I’d feared but couldn’t look at. I’m still glad I did not yet know the rest of Salvador’s story. Years would have to pass, while the shreds and versions of the many stories came to me, of how lives were lost or saved that winter, before I saw that our guides were the only ones shot for food, the way you’d shoot a deer or a buffalo. A lifetime later it can still make me sick with rage. But on that day I only knew that they were dead. I felt no rage. I felt a huge grief. It filled my chest like a stone. I lifted the cord of woven fiber over my head and took a step toward Carlos.
“Patty!” mama cried. “You get inside the tent!”
I didn’t look at her. I stood with the pendant on my outstretched palm. In amazement Carlos regarded it, and Valentine too. Neither of them knew what to do.
I said, “Para usted, señor.” For you.
He seemed transfixed by the pendant. It had some features anyone would be able to recognize, a slight curve from the shape of the shell, and five sides, each one cut smooth. In certain light its pearly colors made a looping line like a distant river gleaming in the sun.
Snow Mountain Passage Page 34