by Andrea Ring
“I understand,” I say. “I will forget the indiscretion if you will answer my companion’s question.”
“Half of her is perfect,” he whispers. “Her good side was facing me when we entered, and I wondered. This is the girl who almost died in a fire? She looks healthy, pretty even. She has unusual eyes, maybe she’s a cousin…but then she turned. Her other half is melted, literally. It’s…no one should see that.”
I sit back in my saddle and consider. Shiva sent me to marry an untouchable? This is unacceptable! Ridiculous!
“I thank you, sir, for the information. Could you direct me to the Nandal home?”
He gives me directions, and I toss a few more coins his way. “Speak of this to no one. I expect your silence.”
The farmer nods, thanks us profusely, and goes back to his field.
The three of us continue on to the inn. We don’t exchange a single word.
***
I fling myself on the thin mattress while Manoj and Faaris make up pallets on the floor.
“We should speak of this, Kai,” Manoj says, breaking our silence. “You cannot marry an untouchable.”
“She was in a fire, Manoj, and she survived,” Faaris says. “Have you ever been burned? It’s the greatest pain I’ve ever felt, and I only burned my elbow once when I fell into a fire pit as a kid. I’ve been sliced by a sword, had broken bones, been gored in the thigh by a boar…she must be strong. Burns over half her body…it’s tough to imagine.”
Manoj’s eyes harden. “It doesn’t matter. An untouchable will not be accepted by the kingdom. If the whole purpose of this mission is to ensure stability, I find it counter to our plans to put an untouchable on the throne. Every citizen will riot!”
“It’s all in how you sell it,” Faaris says, lying down and propping his hands beneath his head. “We paint her as a hero, a survivor, someone who is a fighter. Her situation is tragic, not grotesque. How can you not see that?”
“It doesn’t matter what I see,” Manoj says. “A good politician takes his personal feelings out of it. He serves the will of the people. And I repeat, the people will not support this.”
“Screw the people,” Faaris says. “I’ve never understood the untouchable thinking anyway. Why is someone who does the jobs that need to be done, or who is deformed, less of a person?”
“Debating the merits of the untouchable class is beside the point,” Manoj says. “Our culture is what it is at the moment. If Kai wants to change it in the future, he is welcome to try. But we must deal with reality.”
“What do you think, Kai?” Faaris asks.
I close my eyes. “I think you’re both right. If Nilaruna is the person I need, then the fact that she’s an untouchable is crucial. She is strong. She is a fighter. She understands a large portion of society that I cannot begin to comprehend.”
“But?” Faaris says.
“But acceptance of her won’t come easily. And as for me…I admit this only to you, my two closest friends in the world…I don’t know if I have it in me.”
“No one would blame you, Kai, for choosing someone else,” Manoj says softly. “No one except your father knows your intentions here. You can choose any bride in the world — that is what Shiva said.”
“But he handed you this girl on a golden plate,” Faaris reminds me. “You cannot ignore that.”
“Maybe Shiva is testing you,” Manoj says. “Even Shiva would not expect you to go through with this marriage.”
“I have to leave Shiva’s motives out of this,” I say. “I cannot fathom them, and neither can you. First, I want to live, and I want to live to take my crown. But to do that, I have to take an innocent life. Plenty of rulers would have no problem with that, but I do. I will murder when it’s just, or on the battlefield, or to defend myself, but this…I cannot just pick an innocent girl and lead her to her death. So my options are limited.”
“It’s not you who would be murdering her,” Manoj says.
“Not my hand, but I would be using her as a human shield. No.”
“Then you’re seriously contemplating marrying this girl?” he asks.
I sigh. “I don’t know yet. I have to see her. I have to meet her. My heart will have to make the decision.”
Faaris chuckles. “If your manhood stands at attention, you’ll marry her.”
I throw my pillow at him.
IX. SAPHALA
“You will follow my orders, girl, whether you like it or not. I did not take you in just so that I had another mouth to feed. You will earn your keep!”
“They will behead me if they catch us,” I say. “I hardly think they’ll let you move into the palace if I’m in pieces.”
Uncle’s face turns purple. “You will be on that boat at dark, if I have to carry you myself.” He smooths a hand over his silver hair and grins. “We’re so close, dear Saphala. So very close. This is your dream, remember.”
How could I forget? I was shipped here to my uncle’s in my sixteenth cycle because girls from Dabani do not become princesses. I had to shrug off my common village mantle and take on the trappings of noblewoman. Not too difficult, I admit, for me. I couldn’t wait to leave the little hole I grew up in.
But six cycles of planning and training, and what does it come to? A girl from Dabani must be the prince’s bride! Had I stayed and simply trusted in the gods, I might well be a princess already.
But the prince has not yet chosen a wife. There is still time.
If I can get back to Dabani and convince everyone I never left.
“Father is not the actor you seem to think him,” I say. “He cannot look anyone in the eye. He speaks only to those of our caste.”
“All the better,” my uncle says. “He won’t have to lie. No one will be seeking him out to ask questions.”
I knew this, but I’d hoped my uncle didn’t. Mingling with untouchables is not something my uncle has ever done. At least not since I’ve known him.
My father, though born of noble blood, actually chose to become a fisherman. Something about the sea and the wind and the salt air…who cares why he did it, the point is that he denied me my nobility. I had every right to beautiful clothes and powerful connections, and instead he doomed my sister and me to the untouchable’s lot in Dabani. I have less than no respect for the man.
Still, he plans to see this plot through. He gave me the opportunity to come here, to Bhutan, to my noble roots. Too bad he was the reason I wasn’t here from birth.
And I’m not convinced this will work. Yes, I mean to try, no matter what I tell my uncle. I’m simply managing his expectations. My overconfidence has gotten me into trouble more than a few times with him, and I’ve learned. Let him mull over the possibility of failure. Let him put additional measures in place to ensure success. Let him blame my father if this all goes to hell.
Because if it does, it will not be through any fault of my own. I was born to this. This is my purpose. Princess Saphala. I will be known throughout the kingdom for my fashion sense and quiet dignity. I will be beloved by all.
I will it so.
“You say he has proper clothes waiting, yes? Because I will crawl out of that boat stinking of fish.”
“All is prepared and every contingency has been planned for, girl,” my uncle says. “The only thing left for you to do is to pack your meager bag. No clothes, only what can be concealed beneath your dress. Haady will come for you within the hour.”
He searches my face for signs of cooperation. I give him a curt nod.
“Good. Then I wish you farewell. Do not disappoint me.”
X. NILARUNA
An orange sunrise has begun to light my way as the trees around me thin. I pick my way along the path until I come to the edge of a field at the outskirts of the Dabani. Yellow daffodils are sprinkled among the grass, even though winter is close. I’ve never seen so many flowers this late in the season.
I smile, and the scar tissue around my mouth pulls tight, but I ignore it. For the first ti
me, it doesn’t bother me. I’m scarred, but I’m still worthy. Somebody loves me.
I smile uncomfortably wide, and run to the nearest group of flowers. I pluck half a dozen and race to the next bunch.
By the time I hit the main road into town, I’ve got an armful of daffodils.
Which will look odd when I arrive home, but maybe that’s good. Maybe it’s good that my parents see how happy I am.
I admit, I wasn’t very careful in the field. I saw the flowers and forgot about my safety. But I vow not to make that mistake again.
Dawn arrives as I walk along the road. I pick up my pace, sure that people are already awake and will soon begin to emerge from their homes. When I reach the town square, I stop to take a deep breath. I can smell bread baking, the slight mustiness of the central water well…even the dust from the roads has a smell. It’s never meant much to me before, but then again, I’ve never left the village before my excursion to Maja’s cave. But now? I breathe the smells in, and they leave me shaking. This is home.
Can I be at home in the mountains? In a sparse cave?
Yes. If it means Maja is there with me.
I look down the road to the east. Past the candlemaker, past the perfumer, and a league further at the top of the hill sits the Temple. It is the grandest building in the village, all black granite and polished white marble. The rising sun is directly behind it from my view, backlighting the Temple brilliantly. It seems to glow from within.
Sanji and Larraj are probably tucked snuggly in their beds there. But Sanji said he will be visiting my home today. I will see them soon enough.
I walk around the well and travel north to my parents’ home.
I hope they are happy that I’ve returned.
***
I open the door and peek my head in. “Mother?”
She’s hunched over the stove, stirring a pot of porridge. She startles at my voice and turns. “Nili?”
“It’s me,” I say, entering the room and closing the door softly behind me. “I’m back.”
She smiles. “Oh, my love, we’ve been so worried!” She hugs me fiercely and kisses me soundly on the forehead. “Why are you carrying all these flowers?” She takes them from me without asking and starts putting them in pots.
“I’m sorry I worried you,” I say. “There is so much to tell you. I’m happy, Mother. Truly happy for the first time in ages.”
Mother goes back to her porridge and tsks at me. “I’m glad you’re happy, but there’s no need to explain. Your time with Maja is sacred, and you should not speak of it to anyone, not even me.”
“That’s a stupid rule, and one even Maja doesn’t expect me to adhere to,” I say. “If the other girls had spoken up, perhaps they wouldn’t have died.”
Mother frowns. “Those deaths were tragic,” she says, “but they had nothing to do with their duties as Go-Between. Do you think your father and I would have allowed you to go if we thought you were in danger?”
“I’m not in danger from Maja, I will tell you that,” I say. “But things aren’t right, Mother. We can’t ignore these deaths. Not if I want to live.”
“It’s between you and the Protector,” she says. “I won’t listen to another word.”
I gulp. “You don’t care about my safety?”
“Don’t twist my words,” she says. “High Priest Sanji went over the protocol with us. I know the rules. Just because you’ve always been a bit of a free spirit does not mean I will help you bring down the wrath of the gods upon us. Hold your tongue, if you know what’s good for you.”
I stare at her, head bent over the steaming pot.
My mother is traditional and conservative, particularly in public. I understand that following the rules in front of others is important to her.
But my mother is different in private. She harasses my father. She knows how to manipulate him to get what she wants. She’s always encouraged me to stand up for what I believe and to fight for it.
Something here is amiss.
“What did the high priest say?” I ask.
“He just told us your duties and what would be expected of you. And he made clear the penalties for disobedience.”
Ah. “What penalties?”
“Shiva’s anger, foremost. Nili, you know about Shiva’s anger, better than most, perhaps.”
“Shiva was fair in my dealings with him,” I say. “More fair than any of our neighbors have ever been. He saved my life. Why do you fear him?”
She opens her mouth to respond but quickly closes it. “Do not draw me into this argument,” she says. “Do not make me say something I will regret.”
“Shiva has better things to do than to listen to our conversations,” I say.
Then a voice from behind me startles us both. “Oh, do I?”
***
My mother immediately falls to her knees and prostrates herself. I simply stare at her.
“Shiva, oh Great One,” she whispers into the floor. “You honor us with your presence.”
Shiva actually winks at me. I stifle a giggle.
“Rise, dear woman,” he says. “I require some of Nilaruna’s time, and you must make yourself scarce. I will ensure that the, uh, porridge does not burn.”
Mother stands with her head still bent and eyes still glued to the floor. “Of course, My Lord. Your will is ours. I will retire to the yard.”
She turns without an upward glance and exits the back door.
“Lovely woman,” Shiva says, pulling out a stool and sitting on it. “But not quite what I expected as the mother of Nilaruna Nandal.”
My cheeks burn at this. Perhaps I didn’t put my best foot forward during our last and only meeting.
“I apologize, Shiva,” I say with a bow. “You caught me at a difficult time last we met.”
“So we’re blaming your behavior on pain and stress, then,” he says. “All along I thought you were a natural-born rebel.”
“Tell me the right answer,” I say. “Should I be naturally rebellious or not?”
Shiva laughs. “I was right. I knew it.” He swipes at his eyes. “You are entertaining, little Nilaruna.”
“But surely you didn’t come all this way just to be entertained.”
“You’d be surprised,” he says. “But in this case, no. I have business to attend to.”
“Business?” I say. “Is Maja well?”
Shiva waves a hand in the air. “He’s fine. Same as always. Well, not always. It seems the man is in love.”
My heart swells. “So you consider him a man?”
“Of course. But he is not the reason I am here. You know that this is the cycle where Prince Kai must marry.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Prince Kai? Yes. That’s why the village built the barracks for all the girls. So that he can find a bride.”
Shiva rubs his chin. “And you know why he seeks a bride from the village?”
I nod. “A god, and it was probably you, told the king that an assassin will come by boat this cycle. So the king closed the ports. A bride from elsewhere in the kingdom is not forthcoming. So the king decreed that Prince Kai must choose from Dabani.”
“You are well versed in the happenings of the kingdom. Good. So it will be no surprise when Prince Kai asks for your hand.”
“Uh, what?”
“He will arrive today. He needs a strong woman to help him thwart the assassination attempt. He has chosen you.”
“Me? But he doesn’t even know me! Why would he choose me? I’m an untouchable!”
“A minor obstacle,” Shiva says. “I told him you are the right woman. You will become his bride, and you will see him take the crown, and you will thwart the assassination attempt on his life.”
“But…but I can’t. I’m going to marry Maja. I love him!”
“And he loves you,” Shiva says. “Truly. Love is a remarkable thing. It can move mountains.”
“I can’t…Shiva, no. Please. There are hundreds of girls who would give their right arms to b
ecome queen someday. Beautiful girls. Prince Kai doesn’t need me.”
“But he does. The gods have seen it. You’re the one who can save his life and prevent civil war in Jatani.”
I slowly slide to the floor. My knees suddenly stop holding me up.
“I’m not a warrior,” I whisper. “The scar tissue prevents a great deal of my movement. I have no hope of stopping an assassin.”
“But your strength of character will allow you to overcome any physical disability you have,” he says. “You will do this. And you will most likely die in the attempt.”
“You’re asking me to give my life for the prince?”
“And for the kingdom. Someone must do it. And it shall be you.”
Tears leak from my eyes. “No. I will not. You ask too much, too high a price, even for Jatani. Even if…even if I had the will to do it, I don’t know if I could. I’m not brave.”
Shiva stands and goes to the stove. He stirs the porridge. “Let me sweeten the deal, then,” he says. “If you do this, if you marry the prince and save our kingdom, I will release Maja from his spell. He will no longer be a dragon. He will no longer be stuck on his land. He can go back to his normal life.”
Without me, I think bitterly. But how selfish of me. I have a chance to give him his life back. To give him family and community and a real home.
But without me.
“I need to think about it,” I say. “I need some time.”
Shiva grabs an apple from a bowl on our rough-hewn dining table. He takes a loud bite. “Prince Kai is on his way. You should have about two hours to decide.”
XI. MAJA
I lumber down the stone tunnel and a bit further down the mountain path. There’s a place where I tore several trees out of the ground so I have a bit of a launching pad.
When I reach it, I unfurl my wings and shake them out. The ground trembles. Being a mighty dragon used to awe me. I can rip the roots of a great oak right out of the earth. I can set the forest aflame. I can cause an earthquake that sets even the villagers of Dabani running for cover.