by Tara Ford
Tiff pulled her phone from her pocket and looked at it. No messages. She pushed it back into her jeans and glanced around the front of the shop. To her right, a small tobacco kiosk busily served a string of customers. To her left, alongside the magazine shelving, further along, was the customer service desk. A tall man and a short, dumpy woman were sorting through paperwork and talking. Tiff turned away and watched the checkout girls, ardently scanning goods through their tills. Then she averted her eyes back to the customer service desk and noted the striking difference in the man and the woman’s uniforms. Hers was very short and wide… while his was…
She looked harder. His was long… and thin. He was tall. She strained her eyes to pick up the features of his face… his dark hair… his beaky nose… his angular jaw…
The distinctly repelling, Dracula-like facial characteristics had to belong to…
Tiff edged closer to the customer service desk. The man’s voice was exactly the same. Yet different in its tone. Gentler, kinder and far less patronising.
Closer still, she could now see his staff name badge – Jeremy. Her heart raced.
The man had to be…
She was sure he was…
Alvin Snodgrass.
The likeness was faultless. His mannerisms were foolproof. He was Alvin.
Tiff approached the desk just as Alvin/Jeremy turned away.
“Can I help you?” The short, tubby woman asked.
Tiff peered at her name badge – Tina. “Err… I…” she stumbled. “I…” She pointed to the man behind Tina. “I know him. I was… err… just going to say hello.”
“Oh.” Tina beamed. “Jeremy – there’s someone here to see you.”
Jeremy turned around, with a handful of receipts in his hands. His eyes met Tiff’s. He dropped several of the receipts on the floor and instantly bent over to pick them up.
“Here,” said Tina, gathering up the last receipts and taking the rest from Jeremy. “Let me sort those out – you have a quick chat with this lady here.”
Tiff gulped as Jeremy/Alvin walked over to her side of the counter.
“Yes, madam – can I help you?”
“Alvin… is that you?” she whispered.
“Sorry, Miss?”
“Alvin Snodgrass,” Tiff repeated. “What are you doing here?” There was no mistaking it. This man was not just a ‘double’, it really was Alvin. Tiff peered at his super-white teeth and the tiny nick in his chin, which she’d noticed the first time she ever spoke to him. “Are you undercover?” she whispered.
“I’m sorry, Miss – I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“Alvin, it’s me. Tiff – from number four, Sycamore Close. Tiff and Joe? We moved in a few months ago?”
Alvin/Jeremy shook his head and rolled his bottom lip. “I’m sorry – I don’t think I do know you.” He frowned and turned his head from side to side again. “No, I haven’t heard of a Sycamore Road either.”
“Close – it’s a close – not a road,” replied Tiff, impatiently.
“Close,” repeated the man. “Nope, still can’t say I’ve heard of it.”
“Alvin – I know it’s you,” Tiff whispered as frustration began to rage through her. “Why are you working here?” She indicated to his badge, “And what’s that? Your name’s not Jeremy.”
“Madam,” he said, quite sternly. “I have no idea what you are talking about or who you are talking about. Now, can I help you with anything else today?”
Tina turned to stare at Tiff incredulously.
Tiff peered at Alvin/Jeremy, resignedly. “No… I… err… Thank you and goodbye.” Heat tingled in her cheeks as she turned and walked away from the desk. He was Alvin Snodgrass; she was absolutely sure of it. But why was he working in Sainsbury’s? Why did he have a different name? Something very strange was going on and she had to find out what it was. But how? She walked back past the magazine rack and snuck behind it, so that she was out of view. She was slightly embarrassed and must have looked like an absolute nutcase to the other woman, Tina. She had to think clearly and get her head around this, then she could work out some sort of plan to find out what was really going on with him. Surely, if Alvin was on a secret mission, he could have whispered so, or even indicated that he was with his eyes. The man she had just spoken to was very convincing when he said he had no idea who she was. Tiff was more than intrigued. From behind the magazine rack, she watched him going about his chores. He moved like Alvin. He smiled at the customers, like Alvin. There was no mistaking it, he most definitely was Alvin Snodgrass – secret service agent extraordinaire.
“All done. Sorry it took longer than expected, I bumped into Joan, from school. She talks non-stop.”
Tiff took two of the bags from her mum. “That’s OK, I was miles away. Didn’t actually realise you were that long.” She smiled as they started heading towards the multi-storey car park. “There was a man in there – behind the customer service desk. I know him… well, I’m sure I do.”
“From school?”
“No, from home. He’s one of our neighbours.”
Mum peered at Tiff with a puzzled expression on her face. “I doubt he could be one of your neighbours, Tiffany.”
“I know it sounds bizarre but I’m absolutely convinced it’s him.”
“Who?”
“The one I was telling you about last night, Alvin Snodgrass, the one who works for the government, as a spy. He’s a secret service agent.”
“Oh, that one.” Mum eyed Tiff in disbelief. “Are you sure?”
“Yes – definitely.”
“Do you think he’s on a mission in Sainsbury’s then?”
Tiff sighed loudly. “I don’t know. His name tag said Jeremy and he was acting like he didn’t have a clue who I was.”
“Are you completely sure it was him then?”
“Yes Mum, I’d put my life on it.”
“Then maybe he is doing something secret.” Mum giggled. “I wonder what’s going on in Sainsbury’s that they would need to have a government spy working for them.”
“I really have no idea. It all seems a bit odd to me.”
“This is exciting stuff.”
“No it’s not Mum – I think there is something fishy going on.”
“Oh?” Mum looked disappointed. “Like what?”
“I don’t know but I’m going to try and find out.”
Hi Joe, hope you’re having a good day at work. Could you do me a favour on your way home? I need to find out if Alvin is at home. I’ll explain later, when you phone. Tiff x
There – she’d done it. She’d put a little kiss on the end of her message.
Curious! How am I supposed to find out if he’s home? P.s. you sound a lot happier now.
I’m OK and knock on his door?
And if he answers? What do I say? Oh, hi – just checking whether you’re at home or not? Lol xxx
I’m expecting him to not be at home. Because I think he’s here but I’ll explain that later. Too longwinded on a text message. Unless you can call me now.
Can’t call now. I’ll ring you when I get home, but what do I say if he does answer?
Say that you’ve been thinking of going jogging and you were wondering which trainers were the best ones to buy.
OK – not sure I like this though xxx
Please x
OK. Call you later. Love you xxx
Love you too, and sorry xx
No need to be sorry, I understand how things must look sometimes xxx
Thanks xx
“Mum, I’m going back into town tonight – do you know what time Sainsbury’s is open till?”
“I think it’s eleven o’clock tonight. Can I ask why?”
“I want to see if ‘Alvin aka Jeremy’ is still there and if he isn’t, then I’m going to see if I can talk to someone about him.”
“Surely you can’t do that!” Mum stared worriedly. “What if… if you are meddling in something much bigger than yourself? I
don’t want you getting in any kind of trouble. Especially if you’re sticking your nose into government business.”
“I won’t get into trouble Mum. I’ll play it very cool. I’m not sure that I believe any of this secret service stuff anyway. Please don’t worry. I’ve texted Joe to ask him to find out if Alvin is at home. If he is, then I am hugely mistaken and I won’t go. In fact, I’ll never be able to step foot in your Sainsbury’s ever again. But if he’s not at home, then I will go to the shop and do some secret investigations of my own.”
“Why are you so obsessed about him?”
“I’m not obsessed about him. It’s just that…” Tiff paused thoughtfully. “It’s just that he’s a very strange character.”
“There are lots of strange people about,” said Mum, wisely. “I’m not too sure that you should be sneaking about, poking your nose into other people’s business and especially not someone like this man, Alvin Snod-whatever.”
“Snodgrass.”
“Snodgrass,” repeated Mum. “It’s rather an odd name isn’t it?”
Tiff jumped up from the sofa. “That’s what I’ll do! Why didn’t I think of it before?”
“What?”
“Can I borrow your computer?”
“Why?” Mum eyed Tiff suspiciously.
“I could check his name. I might be able to find out… well, something. Anything.”
“Your dad took it up to Birmingham with him.”
Tiff sighed and slumped back on to the sofa. Her phone wasn’t much use anymore. She used to be able to surf the internet on it but since the last update, only a couple of days ago, her mobile had repeatedly warned her that the memory was full and now half of the apps didn’t work properly. “I’ll ask Joe, when he phones. He might be able to find something.”
Mum shrugged her shoulders. “I think you’re getting too involved in this. You don’t want to go upsetting your neighbours do you? Think carefully about what you are doing. Now, what would you like for your tea?”
“So, that’s where we’re at, at the moment.”
Joe sighed down the phone. “Just because he wasn’t in, doesn’t mean to say that he’s not home at all, babe. He might well be out jogging. How can you be completely sure that this, Jeremy, is him?”
“Do you remember that little nick in his chin – at the bottom?”
“No.”
“Well, I noticed it the first time we spoke to him and this Jeremy fella has exactly the same mark.”
“OK, blimey, you’re observant.”
“Maybe a bit too much sometimes.” There was silence down the phone. “Anyway, I’m now going back to the shop – to see if I can talk to someone about him. I’m hoping he won’t still be there.”
“Tiff, babe, are sure that’s a wise thing to do?”
“Oh don’t Joe – you’re starting to sound like my mother.”
“It’s just… if you’ve made a mistake… well, you’re going to feel a bit silly, aren’t you?”
“I’d rather feel silly than have one of our neighbours make me look really stupid by denying all knowledge of knowing me or having heard of Sycamore Close.”
Joe huffed down the phone. “Babe, you are not getting it, are you?”
“What?”
“If it really is Alvin then he must be on an undercover mission or something like that.”
“There’s more to him than meets the eye, Joe.”
“Yes, I know that. He’s a complete weirdo.”
“Exactly…” Tiff bit her lip. “More than you… or should I say, we, might know.”
“OK, have it your way. Just… just be careful babe.”
“I will. Shall I call you tomorrow?”
“Yes, I’ll be home by six. But babe…”
“Yes?”
“Text me tonight if you do find anything out.”
Tiff smiled to herself. “But what if you’re asleep.”
“Then at least I’ll know tomorrow morning.” Joe yawned loudly.
“OK, goodnight.”
“Nite babe. Love you.”
“You too.”
Forgot to ask you if you could do a quick search on the internet for me – Dad’s taken his computer away with him. Look up Alvin Snodgrass and check his address. Maybe the electoral role? Text me if you find anything odd. Love Tiff xx
I’ll have a quick look then I’m going for an early night – so tired babe xx
Chapter 24
“Mum, I’m going now. I won’t be long.”
“I’m still not sure you should be doing this.” Mum stared at her incredulously. “You should leave things well alone.”
“I’ve got to find out. Please don’t worry, I’ll be back soon enough.”
Mum sighed. “I’ll wait up for you then.”
As Tiff pulled into the smaller car park, at the side of Sainsbury’s, her phone beeped.
Cannot find the name Alvin Snodgrass anywhere and can only view electoral register at the main library – unless I open an account on line! According to 192.com, there is no one by that name living in a Sycamore Close anywhere. It’s hard to look any further as I would need to create an account for that one too. And it costs money. Sorry I haven’t been much help. Goodnight babe, miss you loads xxx
Thanks Joe, I’ll text if I find anything out – at the shop again now xx
Please, be careful xxx
The store was practically empty of customers. Any noise or movement was coming from the staff members who were dragging large cages, filled with stock, around the aisles. Tiff turned her head as she walked further into the shop and discreetly peered at the customer service desk. Empty.
A middle-aged woman, with dark roots peeping through her highlighted hair, stood at the end of the fruit aisle, piling packs of strawberries on to a sloped display shelf. Tiff watched the woman for a moment and wondered what she could say to her. She hadn’t planned her investigation at all.
The woman turned and smiled. Her name badge glinted under the bright lights above their heads – Joanne-Assistant Manager. Their eyes met briefly. “Can I help you at all?” she asked, a jovial tone in her voice.
“Err… yes. I…” Tiff turned away embarrassed and pointed to the customer service desk. “Is… Is anyone working at the customer service desk?”
“Not at this time of night – can I help you with anything?”
Tiff lowered her finger and placed it on her top lip thoughtfully. “I’m not sure if you can…”
Joanne smiled cheerily, placed another pack of strawberries on to the shelf and dusted her hands off. “Oh, I’m sure I can. I haven’t worked here for 23 years for nothing, you know.” She shuffled past Tiff and beckoned for her to follow. “Follow me, we’ll have you sorted out in no time.”
Tiff trailed behind obediently until they reached the customer service desk. Her mind raced with questions, scenarios, statements, make-believe stories and tell-tale lies, all of which sounded completely ridiculous in her head. What should she say?
Joanne whipped around, the moment she was behind the counter and peered at Tiff, questioningly. “Now then,” she said, “what can I do to help you?”
Tiff averted her eyes for a moment and glanced around the shop. “Well… this is a bit of an odd request…” she said as she turned back and eyed the woman ruefully.
“Oh?” Joanne’s eyes lit up. “Go ahead then.”
“It’s… Jeremy. The one who…”
“Our Jeremy? Who works here?” The woman nodded her head. “Yes, I know Jeremy. What about him?”
“Well… this is a bit awkward… I mean…” Tiff wracked her brain trying to come up with an excuse. She scanned the aisles and peeped back over her shoulder before continuing. “I… err… well, I’ve been on a few dates with him recently.”
“Oh my goodness – have you?”
“Yes, about six actually. I… I thought we were meeting here tonight but I’ve been waiting outside for the last two hours.”
Joanne peered at Ti
ff doubtfully. “Well, I have no idea where he might be now. He was working here earlier today.”
“Yes, he said he would be.” Tiff could feel her cheeks beginning to glow. “It’s just that…” She peered down at her shoes sorrowfully. “It’s just that I’m…” she shook her head quickly, “Oh, I just don’t know what to do, you see… I’m pregnant.”
“Oh my goodness.” Joanne stared disbelievingly. “I’m so sor…” she slapped a hand to her mouth and held it there as her eyes widened. “I meant to say… are you happy or sad about it? The look on your face tells me you’re extremely worried, if you don’t mind me saying so.” She eyed Tiff compassionately.
Tiff looked down again, unsure of where this was going and why she had chosen the jilted-pregnant-woman scenario. “I don’t know. I’m… confused. To make things even worse… I… I have that condition that you sometimes get in pregnancy and… I have memory loss.” Tiff blinked her eyes exaggeratedly, forcing tears to well. They were almost real tears as she worried how on earth she was going to get herself out of this pitiful little pack of lies.
Joanne shook her head and peered at her delicately. “I’ve never heard of that before. I’m very sorry to hear it. What’s the condition called? Purely out of interest.”
“It’s… err… would you believe it, I can’t even remember that now. Oh dear… I think… I think I’m falling apart. Please help me.”
“What can I do to help you?”
Tiff swung her head from side to side, willing the tears to fall. “I know that I can’t ask you for his number. I know that would be against company policy.”
“Well, yes. I’m…”
“It’s just that…”
“Yes?”
“I can’t even remember…” Tiff sniffed and rubbed at her nose. “I can’t even remember his last name. If I knew it, I could look up his number.”
“Oh dear.” Joanne held her hands together in front of her and looked decidedly uncomfortable. She glanced around the front of the shop and then turned her attention back to Tiff. “Don’t you have his number saved in your phone?”