I smirk and give him the finger. “Now who’s the pot?”
Cam laughs and claps her hands. “You’re all a bunch of whipped puppy dogs because you have women good enough to turn you that way.” She knows just how to piss us all off.
“Easy, babe. I’ve always kept my dignity intact.” Holden walks in and goes straight to Cam. She leaps up into his arms.
“You’re home! I missed you.” She kisses him solidly, and he responds eagerly before he places her down and turns his attention to me.
“How’d it go this weekend? We never heard from you yesterday? Is this a misery session or a celebration?” Holden has been gone a lot in the city while he works on another big case saving the world, one criminal at a time. Last he heard, I was charging up to Cherry Hill to claim what’s mine.
“Celebration. I gave her the ring. She’s moving in,” I say matter-of-factly, as if there was never a worry it would work out the way it has, although yesterday I was filled with nothing but fear and doubt.
“Congrats, man.” He looks to Jess and Gage. “You guys gonna keep the house now that Kat’s moving out?”
I hadn’t thought about what Kat moving in with me would mean for Jess. That house was the house she grew up in. It was the house she built her family with Dave in. I know how relieved she was to know Kat would be there and to know it would belong to someone who would treat it as well as she has
Jess is sitting at her desk and curls her legs up under her, with a thoughtful look. “We haven’t really talked about it.” She smiles a little and chucks a pencil at me. “I didn’t expect you of all people to get so caught up in my cousin that you can’t stand having her a few feet away after a few months together. Slow your roll, dude. Have some dignity.”
Everyone laughs and I flash them the finger with both hands, making sure they know what I think about their ragging. “Say all you want, Jess. When I know what I want, I don’t wait around just so I can torture myself. Besides, it’s not like we don’t know each other. Now I just get to know every part of her…every day…all the time….and have her naked…”
“Gross!” Cam and Jess yell as Gage and Holden laugh and high-five me for being able to give back what they send my way.
“Seriously, Jess. I have something to ask you.” She looks at me suspiciously. “I want to buy the house from you. I want to give it to Helen. She needs to fucking retire and stop doing shit for my parents. Helen has always loved our neighborhood, and loves spending time with Mr. D.” I wink over at Cam and she throws a piece of paper at me. “Seriously, Helen loves our street, and this way we can keep it out of the hands of careless renters who would destroy it.”
She leaps from her chair and into my arms, almost knocking the wind out of me. “Why are you such an asshole?” She kisses my cheek. “Not only does that make me happy, I can’t imagine how happy that’s going to make Helen. She’ll keep it a home. Just how I always hoped it would stay.”
Jess slides over to Gage, who takes her in his arms and kisses her nose again. Then I look over to Cam, who’s now snuggling up close to Holden, and I feel as if we’re some of the luckiest people in the world. Not because of the things we have or the places we’ve been, but for our friendship. We’ve all had our share of tragedy and heartbreak, and we’ve come out of it better than before.
“I love you guys.”
“Shut up!” they all say and I know they feel the same.
Just then, my phone rings and I reach in my pocket to answer the call. It goes to voicemail before I can answer. Before I can check the message, all of the phones in the house begin to ring, along with everyone’s cells and we look at each other with concern. Something is wrong.
Jess jumps up and grabs the phone off her desk first. “Hello.” She looks at all of us nervously while we try to get our own phones, wondering what could possibly be going on. “Are you sure? Are the girls okay?”
Holden is on his phone and his face turns white. “We’re heading down now. Call me when you know something,”
Jess looks over at Holden, unable to hide the terror in her eyes. “There’s been a shooting at St. Peter’s. It’s on lockdown.”
St. Peter’s? Kat. Oh my God. “Do they know anything?” My throat closes on me; I can hardly get the words out.
Holden takes Cam, who’s shaking violently, in his arms. “All they know is the shooting is the middle school division. They aren’t releasing names. We have to go down there to get the girls. Now. Call your dad so he can come get DJ.” The urgency in Holden’s usually calm voice is suffocating.
Gage takes a stunned Jess in his arms and looks to me. “I’ll stay with DJ until he gets here. You all go ahead, and I’ll come over right when I can.”
I take deep breaths, praying silently that Kat and the girls are safe. This is like some fucked-up nightmare. Kat teaches in the middle school. She could be in the path of this psychopath at this very moment. I know her. She’ll stop at nothing to protect the kids in her class. I feel helpless; there’s nothing I can do to keep her safe right now.
I have to keep strong and not panic. I can’t help if I’m panicked. I need to keep a clear head so that I can help when I arrive at the school. I begin to wonder who the shooter could be. Is it a student? Is it a teacher?
Could it be Kevin? The thought sends me in overdrive.
“I’ll drive. Let’s go.” Before I walk out the door, I take Cam and Jess in my arms. “It’s going to be alright. The girls are going to be fine, I promise.” I try to convince them as much as myself. I watch Jess play with her star bracelet and remember Dave. “Dave will keep them safe. He’ll keep them all safe.”
I repeat those sentences to myself as we all rush out the door, hoping to see our loved ones again.
Kat
“If I Lose Myself”
I feel ridiculous, smiling like this while reading over the reflections my classes wrote today. Life can be crazy at times. Just when you think everything is going about as bad as it can, something happens to restore your faith in humanity. My day started off perfectly in Joey’s arms. Then, my concern for Todd was lightened by the way I saw his peers come together to show their support for him and what he was subjected to. When Joey unexpectedly showed up with lunch, my insides literally melted into a pile of mush. He’s done it. He turned me into a mushy pile of happiness. Not only has he proved in every way he could how much he loves me, he’s also shown me in every way that he will protect my heart with his life. I still want to kick myself for leaving him because of my fear of his past. It’s intimidating to think of the man I want as mine and mine only to have had a past like his. But what Joey has shown me is that those other woman may have had his body, but I’m the only one who’s ever had his heart.
When I looked up and saw him in my doorway, I was stunned into silence at the sight of him. It’s not as though I haven’t always been a little tongue-tied by how attractive he is, but seeing him standing there, looking at me the way he was, with his hooded blue eyes eating me alive, I fell apart knowing it’s me who makes him look that way.
I love when he shows up unexpectedly, especially when I know that we’ll have to spend four nights apart while he’s on duty. At least I’ll be able to use that time to pack up some stuff and move it over to his place without him worrying about where everything goes. I know Jess will be happy for me and won’t mind that I’m moving out. She never used my rent money and has kept it in that damn account—I’m going to make sure to have Joey force her to put all that money set aside for me into the foundation.
Just the idea of living in Joey’s house is both scary and comforting. I’m scared because being with him is everything I’ve ever dreamed it would be. I’m afraid that when things go this good, something bad is going to happen. I’m also comforted by the thought that I have no doubt my heart is safe with Joey, and I want to spend every second we have together with him.
I look at my watch and see that there’s only five minutes left before my final period starts. I
called Cam and Jess earlier, telling them Joey and I’d take the girls home after school gets out so they don’t have to make the drive over, and hope Joey and I will have a little alone time before he has to leave for work tonight.
I continue to read over the warm-up I asked my eighth graders to complete today and think to myself how it’s one of my favorite because kids their age have nothing but endless possibilities ahead. Next year, they’ll be in high school and they feel as if they are on top of the world right now. As I read through the essays, some of the girls talk about the usual: they want to be married, with a family. But the exciting part is that every single one of them didn’t stop there. They have dreams of also being architects, doctors, lawyers, teachers, and it makes me realize how much things have changed since I was young.
When I get to Todd’s, I immediately smile as I remember the way the kids swarmed him with support today. But when I look at what he wrote, I feel my stomach drop out of me with worry. Under the prompt, “Where do you see yourself in twenty years?” he wrote two words:
In hell.
My heart breaks for him. Even with all of the outpouring of support, what Sara and her friends did to him makes him feel worthless. I try to think what his last class is today so that I can meet him there afterwards and talk with him. I’ll have to call his mom as soon as I can so that she knows he’s feeling this way, as well as let Mrs. Martin know. This is just another sign that her punishment did not fit the crime.
Before I can do anything else, I hear three unusual sounds.
Pop.
Pop.
Pop.
At first, I think it’s the older students playing a prank like they usually do this time of year. But when a swarm of children frantically flood into my classroom, I know exactly what I heard.
Gunshots.
Several times a year, we have practice drills for this type of thing, never thinking it will happen here—in Point Pleasant, New Jersey. I’m not panicked the way I thought I would be if this ever happened, although everything seems to move in slow motion. I can hear faint screams through the hallways when I leap from my desk, turn off the lights and usher the children seeking shelter quietly inside. After only a few seconds, it seems as if everyone in the hallways has found a place to find shelter. I look down both sides of the hallway before I lock my classroom door and turn to face the children looking to me for direction with pure fear in their eyes. Before I can say a word, a loud bang rattles all of the windows in our classroom. The fire alarms immediately go off through the school, adding to the fear and tension we’re all feeling. It’s making it harder to hear anything that may be happening outside my doors, and I’m grateful for that when another loud bang rattles the stone building.
I rush over to the students who are huddled together silently below the windows, being as silent as can be. I get low to the ground in case there are people outside looking in who could hurt us. I reach up on my desk as I crawl on the floor, trying to stay out of sight, and grab my phone from my purse. I slide quickly over to the group, slowing my breaths, trying my best to think clearly through the chaos of the blaring alarms.
I begin to type the names of the students that took shelter in my classroom into my phone and realize there are over thirty children of all ages looking to me for guidance. I immediately send a text with the names of the students and our location to the diocese, like we’ve been told to do. Suddenly the alarms go silent, and I motion to the children to stay still while I slither up to the window and peek outside. We are on the first floor, but there’s a basement, so we’re higher up than most one-story buildings. I don’t see any sign of police or anyone coming to our rescue; the panic that I’ve been able to suppress now wells in me. I turn back to the children and their fear gives me strength to take control.
“I need to call 911. Don’t any of you text or call anyone. We can’t let anyone know we’re in here.”
I look back down at my phone, and as much as I want to text Joey, I don’t. I send a message to Sarg this time. He’s become such a close friend to us all after Dave died; I knew he’d see the message and get all hands on deck immediately. Another fear passes over me when I begin to worry that firemen responding to the fire alarm could unknowingly show up and be ambushed by the shooter, or shooters.
After I send the quick message saying there’s been a shooting and two explosions, I turn back to the kids and try to gather as much information as I can. It’s been only about five minutes since the first shots rang out, but it feels a lifetime.
“Did any of you see anything? How many are involved?” I whisper quietly.
Brad, my student from the morning class, raised his hand and I motioned for him to come closer. His face was pale and the look of shock and fear on his face reminded me that he’s just a boy, rather than the man child from this morning.
“What did you see?” I need to give Sarg as much information as I can.
“I was walking past the office, heading to Chemistry.” His voice is shaking and laced with terror. “There was someone standing over Sara and Mrs. Martin with a gun pointed right at them. I couldn’t see who it was; the person was wearing a ski mask and all black. I’m pretty sure it’s a guy by the look of the clothes, but I don’t know.” Tears pour from his eyes. “He shot them. Both of them. Then he turned his gun on everyone in the room. I just ran. I didn’t help them. I just ran away.”
I pull him into me tightly and give him a hug. “You did exactly what you should have. There was nothing you could have done to save them.”
My heart races at hearing the details of the brutality of it all, and that was just the beginning of all this. I’ve heard two explosions since then. The seriousness of this situation is much more deadly than I’d thought. I type the details into my phone and turn back to the others before I hit Send. “Did anyone else see any other shooters?”
The students all shake their head no and I’m hopeful that at least the person’s acting alone. I look back at my phone and add one last sentence before hitting Send. I ask Sarg to please tell Joey I love him. Just typing the words makes what’s happening right now too real.
I think of anything I can do to keep this group of kids safe from the murderer walking our halls who seems to be killing anyone in his path. I motion to a few of the boys and they follow me as we crawl across the floor towards the bookshelf by the door. “Help me barricade the door,” I whisper.
We all get to our knees and push the heavy metal bookcase filled with literature textbooks in front of the door. At first, the children flinch as the metal scrapes across the floor, the noise gravely announcing our presence. I motion to them all to just keep moving the bookcase when I hear a girl’s voice scream down the hall for someone to run. Just then, another loud explosion erupts and this time, I know it’s close, because our room fills with smoke. The boys quickly take action, tearing off their shirts and sticking them under the exposed parts of the door, trying to keep the putrid smelling smoke out the best they could. All of the students begin coughing and I motion for them to cover their mouths with their clothing.
A loud banging erupts from outside the door letting us know someone is trying to get in and I know I have to do something. I can’t let these kids lose their lives because I didn’t take action. I stand and run to one of the windows to unlock the latch. I know in my training that we’re told to stay put until help comes, but right now, the only way to save these kids is to get them out.
I turn to Brad. “When you get down there, lead everyone across the street to WaWa. Don’t stop—run as fast as you can. Do you understand?”
With that, he leaps out the window, rolls to the ground and looks up for the others. The banging behind me is getting louder. I turn to a little girl, standing by the other window. “Open it, and jump. All of you get out now and follow Brad. Do. Not. Stop.”
Right then, gunshots blast through the door, and I usher child after child out the window, praying silently for just one more minute to get them all out
to safety. Only a few children are left when another loud explosion erupts, bursting into the room. I’m thrown to the ground; my ears ring from the power of the blast. In my daze, I wonder how the hell a person has weapons like these at their disposal. When I look around the classroom, there are no children left that I can see and I sigh a breath of relief. My relief is shattered when I look up and see a figure in the smoky doorway. I quickly gain my wits and stand unsteadily when he steps over the bookcase that served us well enough to get everyone out, lying on its side, textbooks with flaming pages scattered around the ominous classroom.
I glance quickly at the window to judge if there’s time to make a run for it, but there’s no way I’ll make it without being shot in my back.
I’m.
Not.
Going Down.
Like That.
People say that when you’re staring death in the face, your whole life flashes before you. But for me, there’s only one thing I see. Joey.
I hold my hands up when he lifts the gun in my direction. “Please, don’t do this.”
I don’t expect him to speak, and when he does, my heart breaks because it’s a voice I know well. “All of this is your fault.” His voice is emotionless.
“You’re right and I’m sorry, Todd.” Guilt overwhelms me when his eyes meet mine. It’s the only part of him I can see. And what I see is terrifying. He’s given up hope. He doesn’t plan on making it out of here, which makes the chances of me making it out all the less likely.
He looks around the hazy classroom and removes his ski mask. The look of defeat permeates from him in such a gut-wrenching way, I want to reach out and hug him. Tell him it will all be alright. But I can’t and it won’t. He’s killed people; that I know for sure. He’ll surely spend the rest of his life in jail for his actions. And that’s if he’s lucky. “I’m sorry, Ms. Pierce.” He begins to cry and I’m not sure what to do. Is this my chance to try to get his weapon? Would I be able to use it if I have to? No, I wouldn’t, not on Todd.
His Jar of Hearts (A Broken Fairy Tale #3) Page 16