“Kat, I’m far from perfect, and I fuck up a lot. You know that. It’s just me. But I’ll never fuck up in any way that will hurt you. I promise I’ll spend every day for the rest of our lives loving you. I want to be your steel.” I hold up a bracelet made entirely of steel. The way Kat looks at it, both confused and amused, will forever be etched in my memory.
Her tears now mix with her smile as she lets me put the bracelet on her wrist. “You have been my steel for a long time now.” She looks down at the bracelet and back up at me and I can see a flicker of frustration. “But can we agree that after today, we leave steel out of our vocabulary as a way to say we love each other. I was just trying to prove a point—I didn’t want it to actually be a term of endearment.” I can tell she thought I was going to propose and is trying to hide her disappointment when she thinks this was her surprise.
I nod. “Agreed.” I take her right hand in mine and slide my grandmother’s ring off her finger. “Now I need you to agree to something.” She’s smiling brighter than I’ve ever seen. “Marry me, Kat.”
I take her left hand and slide the ring where it belongs. Where I should have put it in the first place.
“Yes. Of course I’ll marry you.” She leaps into my arms.
Her lips crash to mine and it’s as if I’m breathing for the first time. She has no idea that this is just the beginning and my anticipation of her answer to my next question is unbearable. “I need you to agree to one more thing.”
“Anything,” she says blissfully, kissing me all over my face.
“Marry me tonight?” When she freezes and looks at me wide-eyed, I’m worried I’ve overstepped.
“Tonight?” I can’t tell whether she’s excited or pissed.
“Behind these doors, I have all of our friends and family. If you want another wedding another time, we’ll do it. But I don’t want to wait another day to make you all mine. There’s a hair dresser and make-up artist upstairs waiting for you with the girls. If you say yes, the wedding is in an hour.”
Her eyes light up and I realize I know her as well as I’d hoped. “Hell yeah, I’ll marry you today.” She kisses me hard and pulls away laughing. “Good move on getting someone to do my hair and make-up. I would’ve been pissed if my wedding pictures had my fro in full action.”
I love that she’s so excited and joking right now. “I love your fro.” I ruffle her hair and pull her tightly into my arms. “Now kiss me and let’s go get married.”
She throws her arms around my neck and pulls me down to meet her lips. It’s soft, and inviting, and perfect. “Let’s get married.” She winks and we both enter the house, ready to become husband and wife. Tonight, I get to make her Kat McMillan.
Finally.
Kat
“Wildest Dreams”
When I walked upstairs and saw the most magnificently delicate silk dress lying on my bed, I knew tonight was going to be something special. I knew Joey was going to propose soon, and was just waiting until he thought I was ready. Little did he know I would have said yes months ago. When I walked upstairs and saw the formal dress he had lying there, I never imagined it would be the dress I’d be wearing when he proposed.
The way the courtyard of his parents’ home was decorated was as if I had just entered some magical utopia of calm and happiness. My life has felt so chaotic and unsettled since the shooting, and the only time that I feel any sense of peace is with Joey. I’ve taken to listening to almost only classical music lately because so many songs bring up memories of that day and time in my life. Joey made me a playlist of some of our special songs, and I listen to those from time to time, but when I got out of the car tonight to hear the ethereal sound of a flute and harp melding together, I was instantly swept away into the magically romantic scene he had thoughtfully set for me. When he asked me to marry him right there, today, I wondered whether he knew how what he was asking me to do was filling the emptiness of my soul that he only had the seal for.
When we walked through the doors, Jess and Gage, and Cam and Holden were right there to greet us with both sets of our parents, all cheering and holding up champagne glasses.
“Are we doing this?” Jess called over to us.
I look up at Joey’s achingly handsome face. “Hell yeah we are.” He pulls me tightly under his arm and kisses my head.
“Let’s do this!” Joey high-fives Holden and receives the congratulations of our family.
I know I should take Joey aside and tell him what’s been eating me up these past few hours, but when I try to ask him to come and talk with me before we go our separate ways to get ready, the look of worry and concern stops me in my tracks. I wimp out and kiss him once more. “I can’t wait to be your wife,” I say instead.
He growls and nips at my lip. “I love the sound of that.”
“Enough, you two. We don’t have much time.” Jess snaps her fingers between our faces. “I’ve got to get this girl in her dress and make her look like a princess.”
I look down at the amazing dress I have on. “I thought I was wearing this?”
“You can put it back on for the reception for dancing. We have the dress of your dreams upstairs.” Cam grins from ear to ear and pulls me away from my man.
Just the look in Joey’s eyes makes me melt. This is a man who I’ve always thought of as too tough and unexperienced to do something this thoughtful and romantic. He knows my feelings about big weddings, and it’s nothing I’ve ever wanted because I’m not a planner that way. Watching Cam and Jess plan their weddings was overwhelming for me, and I was just a bridesmaid. The idea of having to organize and plan every aspect of my own wedding was something that never appealed to me. I would have been happy running off to City Hall and getting married, as long as I got to celebrate with our gang afterwards.
Joey holds Jess’s hands away from our faces and kisses me one more time. “See you at the altar.”
Gage and Holden have Joey swept away in an instant, and Jess and Cam take me on my way to get me ready to be Mrs. McMillan. I love the sound of that. Kat McMillan.
“Holy crap, I’m about to marry Joey!” I say to the girls as I look at myself in the mirror. It’s times like these that I’m grateful for Jess’s uncanny ability to pick the perfect thing for every occasion, and this dress is no exception. I’m pretty sure she picked the exact dress that I mentioned was my dream dress when we went shopping for her dress almost a year ago. It’s simple, and it’s me. The smooth white satin of my strapless dress gathers low on my waist with a diamond broach that belongs to Joey’s mother. It’s my something old. The bottom of my dress falls in a simple A-line to the floor with a small train surrounding my feet.
Jess comes up to my side and looks at me with tears in her eyes. “Are you happy?”
“I didn’t think I’d ever be this happy again. Happy doesn’t even begin to explain how I’m feeling right now, it’s so much more than that.” I begin to cry in her arms.
I know I don’t need to explain that I’m not crying because I’m sad. Jess knows what it’s like to be so broken there are moments when you worry if you’ll ever make it through. I’ve found myself in those moments lately, and part of me was beginning to accept that I’ll never be able to experience happiness again the way I am right now. No, I’m not crying because I’m sad; I’m crying because I feel peace.
“Je-sus. Christ, you two!” Cam comes out of the bathroom with a make-up case. “Pull yourselves together before Kat’s face drips off.
As Cam touches up my face and wipes away my tears, I notice the beautiful details of their dresses. Cam’s is a deep blue, with billowing silk flowers running down the side of her waist and reminding me of some of the vines that decorated the entrance on the McMillan house. Jess’s dress is very similar, but not exactly the same as Cam’s. The dress a deep purple that makes her glow. She has the same silk flowers adorned, but they fall over one shoulder to a low back. I begin to think back to all of the details when we arrived, trying my best to capture
memories for any time I feel sad and hopeless. Joey took such care to include special touches and items that would be known to just the two of us displayed among the well-designed arrangements. He had shells in what appear to be steel heart shaped boxes everywhere I looked and it makes me smile. I remember the way Joey would always ask me to walk with him on the beach after our runs before we started dating, and he’d always grab a shell and give it to me since he knew how much I loved collecting them. It was only later that we both confessed that he would only ask me to take the walks so he could stretch out our time together, and I confessed I kept every shell he ever gave me. The more I thought about all of the special details that surround me tonight, the more I realized how planning something as thoughtful as this doesn’t happen over-night.
“How long has he been planning this?” My curiosity grows.
Cam dabs the last bit of powder under my eyes and sits back in her chair. “Well, he’s been telling us he was going to marry you pretty much before he even asked you out.” Cam looks to Jess, and I can see they’re unsure whether they should say more.
Jess smiles and sits at my side, but by the way she’s looking at me, I know she’s going to bring up the day my life changed forever. “The morning of the shooting, he decided he was going to ask you to marry him.” She takes my hand in hers and I nod that it’s OK for her to go on. “Three weeks ago he told us his plan, and everyone’s been involved in making this happen.” She nudges me when she sees my surprise. I can’t believe he was able to keep this from me for three weeks. I can’t believe any of them could.
“You mean you two have known I was getting married today for three weeks and you didn’t at least tell me to go get my eyebrows done?” I push them away playfully. “I can’t believe you all did all this.”
“It was mostly Joey and your mom.” When Jess mentions my mom, I’m shocked. I know they’ve always been impressed with the McMillans and became close with them after what happened, but I’ve honestly been avoiding them in fear of the lashing I’d expected for getting married after dating Joey for less than a year.
Just then, my mom walks into the room, and I feel five again. I stand from the bed, and run over to her to throw my arms around her. Something I haven’t done freely in years. “Thank you,” I whisper through my overwhelming emotions.
My mom’s crying and pulls back to hold me back at arm’s length. “You look stunning.” She leans in and kisses my cheek. “I’m so happy for you, Kat. He loves you very much. I know he’ll take good care of you.”
Hearing my mom say those words of approval was uplifting. “I know he will too, Mom.”
She looks over at Jess and Cam. “What do you say we go and get our little girl married?”
They both hop up off the bed and come over to us, engulfing us in one giant hug. We all laugh and I feel as though my life is falling back into place. “Take me to my man,” I say and take one last glance in the mirror before becoming Joey’s wife.
When I walk down the circular stairway, and see my dad there in his tuxedo, I feel as if I’m in a fairy tale. He takes my arm in his and Canon D booms through the house. We walk to the back of the house and when we enter the back room, I notice the same ethereal décor from the courtyard was continued through the house, leading me to the deck that’s adorned with candles burning in giant steel hurricane holders. It’s dusk, and the sun is setting behind me as I look out to all of the guests sitting in white silk covered chairs with ornate lavender bows tied around them, fluttering in the warm summer breeze. I smile when I see Joey at the end of an aisle draped in rose petals. His sexy blonde hair is tousled in just the right way, accenting his alluring eyes that are locked on mine in the most hypnotic way.
I’m glad I have my dad to lead me to him, because I can’t take my eyes from his. His expression is filled with so much emotion, I want to run up to him and make him mine. Holden and Gage are at his side, just as it should be, and I glance up at the sky to think of Dave, knowing he’s with us, cheering us on right now. If there’s anyone who knows how completely I love Joey, it’s got to be Dave.
When my dad hands me over to him, Joey pulls me in close and wraps his arm possessively around my waist and kisses my temple. “You are the sexiest bride that there’s ever been. You look gorgeous.” He kisses me again, and the officiate clears his throat as those around us giggle knowingly.
Seeing Joey, in a dark gray suit with the sun setting behind him, is a vision I want etched in my memory forever. When the judge begins, I don’t really pay attention to what he’s saying; I’m too captivated by Joey. It’s surreal to be here marrying him after all we’ve been through together, to know that I will never have to be without the security and comfort his love brings me again. The amazing part of it all is that I know he feels the same about me. And nothing feels better than that. Even though I know I’ve changed since the shooting, he’s already proved he’ll be with me through the good and bad. I have no doubt that there’s so much more good to come.
So.
Much.
Is about to change.
The ceremony is short and sweet, and just how I would’ve planned it if I had the chance. And thank God I didn’t, because looking around me, I can only imagine how much time and effort had to go into pulling something like this off in a matter of a month. Our first kiss as husband and wife is magical. The sun was setting behind us and we kissed softly at first under the illuminating candlelight, and then he dipped me back and deepened the kiss, much to the approval of those watching. The way he kissed me made my heart do backflips and my body wants to force him upstairs and really make him mine. But that would have to wait.
When we walk down the aisle to congratulations from the intimate group of friends and family gathered to share this special moment with us, I knew I couldn’t wait any longer to tell him what’s been eating at me the entire service. . He follows me up to the deck with a mischievous smile that makes my insides burn and my desire to tell him everything is almost uncontrollable. As we reach the area that’s set up for a dinner reception, I pull him towards the side gate to get some privacy. “Can I have a second alone with my husband before we party?” I love the way calling him husband sounds.
“You can have all the moments you want, Mrs. McMillan,” he says in a husky tone that makes me tingle with excitement and he kisses me, pressing me up against the wall wantonly making me get lost in the moment.
I almost forget my reason for pulling him aside when his hand brushes the side of my breast and he parts my lips with his tongue. I let myself get lost in the kiss, and when I finally dredge up the courage to pull away, I immediately missing the way his lips felt on mine. “It’s so hard to focus when you do that,” I say friskily.
“It’s so hard not to do it again when you say hard…” He slowly leans back in to me, eyeing me like his prey.
It’s hard not to give in, but he’s going to notice things tonight, and I need to tell him on my own terms. I hold up my hand to him and touch his face, hoping he’s going to be as happy as I am. I’m not sure how to say it, so I just do. “I’m pregnant.”
The look on his face is priceless. He went from wanting to devour me to complete shock. He stutters. “You…you’re…are you okay?” When he immediately puts his hands on my belly, as if he’s asking if the baby’s okay, I know he’s going to be the best father of all time. He’s already the best uncle.
“I just found out today. I’m thirteen weeks.” I’m a little nervous now, because he’s just staring at my belly as if he’s trying to figure out the exact date of conception.
Suddenly he lifts me up and swings me around and stops to kiss me so passionately that all my worries disappear. When he pulls back, he presses his forehead against mine, placing little kisses on my lips as he whispers, “I love you,” between each kiss.
Our private moment is interrupted when Gage and Holden walk in with Jess and Cam right behind. “You two seriously need to hold it together for another few hours. Stop being
so slutty and get out there so we can eat. I’m starving.”
Before Jess can go on, Joey slides his arm around my shoulder proudly. “I knocked her up and we’re having a baby.”
Everyone pauses for a moment as if they’re still processing what he just told them. But of course, Jess is the first one to congratulate us…I think. “Holy shit, you little slut! How long have you two known?”
Joey is beaming with pride. “Today. Just now.” He turns towards me and kisses me hard. When he pulls back and looks down at me, I feel complete. “Thank you,” he says softly.
“For what?”
“For taking a chance on me and loving me. I will love you and our baby forever.” He laces his fingers through mine as we follow behind our friends.
When I watch the group of them, and then look back down at our entwined hands, I’m reminded how precious life is and I’m grateful for the friendships and family I have. We’ve all been through a lot over the years, and felt pain that could have destroyed us. But we stuck together, and didn’t let one another sink too deep. Joey gave me the fairy tale. He’s shown me that as broken as life may get at times, that it’s the strength of our relationship and the trust we have in each other that make what we have together so special.
Before we join the others, he puts his hands on my belly and looks down at me with loving eyes. “Let’s go get our happy ever after.”
He twirls me on to the dance floor as “Thinking Out Loud” plays and I close my eyes. Peace and happiness wash over me.
I’m.
Complete.
Joey
“Good Life”
Love’s an amazing thing. When I finally stopped being an idiot and took the leap out of the “friend zone” with Kat, I learned what it meant to truly be in love with someone. I realized how much more special life is to have someone to spend it with. Five years later, I love her more than I did the first time I knew I was in love. When she had our first son, Parker, my heart felt as if it would explode with love. My love for my son is something I still can’t explain. The minute I held him in my arms, I knew I would do anything to make sure he lives a happy and healthy life. When our daughter, Hannah, was born three months ago, my heart was torn in two, because she stole a part of it, and I know I’ll never get it back.
His Jar of Hearts (A Broken Fairy Tale #3) Page 19