by Rob Reger
Later
Lily and I are !!wired!! from too much black tea and cannot fall asleep.23 Instead, we are having a good old-fashioned slumber party and talking each other’s ears off.24 Here’s what I have learned:
The dark elixir started flowing under this house on the day Lily was born. She doesn’t know why it stopped or how to restart it.
Similarly, she has no clue how I would locate either black rock or Blackrock. Gagbax!
Opal was actually the one to discover the dark elixir, having been banished from the upstairs during Lily’s birth. She heard meowing from the basement, and when she opened the door, she found a kitten drenched in black liquid. Enter Enigma!
Lily calls Enigma her best friend. With a little questioning, I was able to clarify that Enigma is also her ONLY friend.
Lily mentioned casually that she is not well liked by her schoolmates, who consider her to be in a perpetual state of mourning, based on the fact that she A) always wears black, B) rarely speaks, and C) never smiles.
Lily allows this misunderstanding to continue because A) her father is indeed dead, and she does indeed mourn him; B) adults expect little of her; and C) it results in slightly less tormenting from the other kids.
The tormenting usually takes the form of taunts and name-calling, with occasional rotting food or snakes thrown in her hair. Sometimes boys will shoot rocks at her with their slingshots.
When I asked Lily if she ever fought back, she seemed confused by the concept.
Forget about elbow strikes, hammerfisting, and groin kicks; apparently, no one has ever told her that she is capable of doing anything in life other than A) speaking when spoken to, B) keeping clean and tidy, C) the occasional healing of the sick, and D) embroidery.
Granted, she has some wicked embroidery skills, but this part of the conversation kind of enraged me.
Was only further enraged to find out that women LOST the right to vote in Seasidetown the year Lily was born. Did not have the heart to tell her they would not get it back for another 150 years.
Have offered to give Lily slingshotting lessons so she can start fighting back. She was doubtful that any girl could possess the muscle power to operate a slingshot. Had to give her a demonstration before she would believe.
The 1790s is not the best time in history to be a girl.
Sunday, August 8, 179O
Today's assignments:
Locate provisions-13 points
Avoid further sunlight-13 points
Get hands on Fever Reliever-313 points
Bellies are very insistent on getting fed today, but the back door is being guarded by a very tough-looking thug holding a musket. Opal has brainwaved Caleb that we need another henchman diversion. Lily and I are hanging out in the attic, waiting for Musket Man to step away. I have some 1790 money in my pocket. Am ready for a real grocery run.
Later
Musket Man has not budged. Lily and I are tired of the rafters. Headed downstairs to fill our bellies with tea.
Later
We went into Pearl’s room, where Pearl and Opal have set up their makeshift kitchen at the fireplace, to find Caleb hanging out with them. The resemblance to Jakey is pretty stunning.
Turns out he DID get Opal’s message, but the timing is not good for a henchman diversion. Apparently, Boris got very suspicious yesterday when no actual street youths were found attacking his medicine show. So instead, Caleb got permission to bring us fresh water and carry away our chamber pots.25 He was able to smuggle in some slices of bread (in a single layer inside his shirt—pretty smushed, but absolutely delicious) and some dried meat, which Lily and I left to Opal and Pearl, much to their amusement. They both seem very entertained with my similarities to Lily, though I thought it was sort of uncool for them to tease us about it in front of Caleb.
OPAL: Look how her eyes go narrow, Mother. Isn’t she the very picture of our Lily?
Pearl: Yes, Dark Girls through and through, the both of them!
Me: What do you mean, Dark Girls?
Lily: [Annoyed.] I’ll tell you later.
P: Why, I’ll tell you now, Cousin Emily, though I’m quite surprised you don’t know. Young Caleb will no doubt find this aspect of our family history diverting. Every once in a long while, as far back as our family tree is traced, there have been born Dark Girls, females of unusual talents and dark sensibilities. [To Caleb.] Perhaps this is why we are able to accept your own unusual talent without prejudice.
Caleb: I appreciate that, madam.
ME: [Strained.] Aunt Pearl, are you saying that you think I’m one of the Dark Girls?
P: A fool could see that. Why, you have Aunt Millie’s eyes!
Me: [Feeling weak.] Aunt Millie . . . I know her.
P: Of course you do! She once visited me from the Beyond when Lily was young. She was never quite as . . . physical . . . a manifestation as you are, though. Quite incorporeal, Aunt Millie.
Me: [Feeling trembly and nauseated.] I feel a bit vapory actually. I think I’d better run along to Lily’s room and lie down.
C: I must be off as well. My dear Miss Opal, Miss Lily, I look forward to your freedom with uplifted heart. Mrs. Étrange, I bid you adieu. Miss Emily, I shall accompany you out.
No sooner had we closed the door behind us than Young Caleb gripped my arm in a rather ungentlemanly way and stared into my eyes menacingly.
CALEB: See here, Miss Emily, I know perfectly well you are no ghost.
Me: Never said I was.
C: You do realize I can read all your thoughts, everything in your mind, as clearly as if it were written out on parchment before my eyes?
Me: Yeah, I’m familiar with the concept.
C: Then perhaps you can explain a most disturbing thought that flashed into your mind just now in Mrs. Étrange’s room.
Me: [Feeling obstinate. After all, he was gripping my arm kind of hard.] I don’t know, man. I have disturbing thoughts all day long. Which one was it, exactly?
C: You believe that you will bring about Miss Lily’s death.
Me: Oh, that one. I guess you also know I’m not too happy about that possibility?
C: . . . Yes.
Me: Great, how about letting go of my arm, for starters? If you don’t mind, I’d kind of like to go lie down and think this over.
He let me go and went on his way, but the look in his eyes was deeply suspicious.
Later
Drat Caleb and his clabbering psychic powers!!! Drat the stupid family rumor about a Dark Aunt killing Lily!!! Drat my lack of black rock, getting me stuck here in the 1790s, possibly for a long long time!!!!! I had better get back home before I get too elderly!!!!!!
On the other hand . . . . . . . . . . . . I AM ONE OF THE DARK GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That’s pretty dagvattering incredible.
Also . . . I think I’ve known it all along.
Later
Here are a few of the thoughts fighting for airtime in my mind right now:
I am a Dark Girl I am a Dark Girl FLAMDRAM IT ALL I am a Dark Girl AM I REALLY A DARK GIRL???????
Does Mom know?
And how EXACTLY did Aunt Pearl know? “Aunt Millie’s eyes”—it’s gotta be more than that!
Does Aunt Millie know?
Are Aunt Lily and Aunt Emma the only ones who had a personal fountain of liquid black rock?
Or is there a chance that I have one too?
Dark sensibilities—got ’em.
But what’s my unusual talent?26
Am I really gonna cause Aunt Lily’s death?
I mean, I THINK I just saved her life.
Maybe that family rumor got passed down wrong.
Yeah, that’s it.
Am clinging to this possibility with all my heart.
Later
Have decided to take the attitude that, while I currently have no way back to my own time, I AM a Dark Girl, and I’m hanging out with another Dark Girl, and that between the two of us, we ARE going to find a way for me to ge
t home. In the meantime, I’ve shown Lily my apple and explained very, very carefully to her why it’s so critical that no matter how hungry she gets, she can’t eat it.27 I asked her where we could hide it so that no one else would see it and eat it, and she just shrugged and said, “Oh, no one ever enters MY room.” Have tucked it out of sight behind the Time-Out Machine so the two of us are not tempted by its beautiful color and sweet aroma.
Gragdarts. Am HUNGRY. Time for another food run soon.
Later
Back in the attic rafters with Lily, waiting for the guard to step away. Tummies are growling. Hopefully he takes a bathroom break soon.
LOTS later
Musket Man has not budged in forever and I am STARVING. Am taking matters into my own hands.
Ten minutes later
I’m out! Here’s how I managed it: I browsed around in the attic for a while, looking for something heavy. Finally found an old iron. It weighs approximately 2,366 times more than a modern iron. I tied it to the end of the bedsheet rope, quietly slid the attic window open, and dropped it on the guard’s head, ready to pull it back up like a flash if I missed. I didn’t miss. Musket Man fell over and took a nap.
Lily has promised to check for me every hour on the hour to see if I am outside needing to be let in. Am now heading to the store that Pearl recommended. Here is the shopping list she gave me:
Am trying not to look too hard at that last iteme. ITEM. Clearly, these people have never heard of the food pyramid, let alone standardized spelling. Overall this is the oddest shopping list I have ever been given.28
Later
Have been to ye olde grocer’s establishmente. Hominy is great big gross kernels of corn. Totally unappetizing. Then again, absolutely nothing on Pearl’s list looks super promising to me. Am hoping she has a secret stash of licorice, black cherry jam, or veggie sandwiches somewhere in her bedroom.
Have picked another bonnetful of dandelion greens, just to be safe. Don’t want anyone coming down with scurvy.
Later
Have been hunkered in the shrubbery outside Lily’s house for the past half hour, watching the attic window and wondering how I’m going to get past the new guard. I arrived in time to see Musket Man getting kicked awake by his colleague, an astonishingly ugly29 thug I like to call Thugly. Musket Man could not say what had happened to him, but did a lot of moaning about his poor poor head, and then staggered away. Nice! I hope all Boris’s ruffians have this kind of work ethic.
Later
Am back indoors, thanks to Caleb. He appeared at the side of the house and stood there silently, out of sight of the guard under the window, gazing into the shrubbery until I caught his eye. Then he held up a finger as if signaling me to be patient. Sure enough, a moment later, Lily appeared at the window, and right on cue, Caleb walked around the corner, waving to the guard.
CALEB: There’s something very odd floating in the cistern. I think you should have a look at it.
Thugly: [Turning to go.] Hmmph. Blasted lazy psychic.
C: [Stage whisper.] Miss Emily, make haste!
I ran across the garden and he lifted me quickly onto his shoulders and practically launched me at the window while Lily scrambled to get it open wide enough for me and the provisions to fit through. When I was safely inside, I risked one last glance out to thank Caleb, and to satisfy a burning curiosity.
ME: By the way, what’d you put in the cistern?
Caleb: I’d rather not say . . . it’s not fit for a lady’s ears. But never fear, I’ll be bringing your drinking water from a clean source!
Later
I take back all I said about hominy, gritts, moleasses, and the rest. Pearl and Opal are culinary geniuses. Our stomachs are delightfully full and we are all very cheerful. (Pearl and Opal are mostly cheerful due to the cyder. That stuff smells like jet fuel!!!! Am sticking with tea.)
Unfortunately there is absolutely nothing to feed Mystery. I had to tell her that, like Enigma, she is on her own for meals. Luckily, like Enigma, she is a wicked hunter, and Lily’s house is full of vermin. Do not like Mystery eating vermin, though. Must get back to my own time, and its high-quality organic kibble, before much longer.
Later
Have sort of forgiven Caleb for grabbing my arm and being menacing. After all, he is only looking out for Lily. He is still eligible for payback, though. No one menaces me without consequences!
Later
Have questioned Lily about her dark sensibil-ities. In response, she has shown me her extensive collection of interesting dead insects (found, not killed), which she has accumulated over the years while working in the family garden. Pretty impressive!
Have also questioned Lily about the unusual plants in said garden. Turns out she used to water the plot with dark elixir. Excellent!!!!!!
ME: You like plants a lot?
Lily: Oh, yes! Opal and Mother and I love to watch green things grow.
Me: It’s a kickass garden, Lily. In my time we’d say you have a green thumb.
L: And do you have a green thumb too?
Me: Nah, it’s more of a black thumb.
L: You kill plants?
Me: Oh flamjacks no. The black ones just grow really well for me.
Later
Have grilled Lily for everything she knows about the dark elixir/black rock fountain in her basement. Here is what I have learned:
Even when Lily was still a baby, Pearl would take her down to the basement to play in the dark fountain.
And would tell her stories of the Dark Girls who lived centuries ago, like Great-Aunt Aimée, back in the 900s, who used HER dark elixir to influence people’s dreams.
She doesn’t know for certain where the stuff comes from.
But back when Lily was 6, Aunt Millie paid Pearl a visit, and Lily overheard them saying something that made her think dark elixir came from dead Dark Girls. [CUE CHILL DOWN MY SPINE!!!]
But these days, she thinks she must have misunderstood. Anyway, there aren’t any Dark Girls buried in her basement.30
Pearl always said that when she was old enough, Lily would discover a special talent using the dark elixir.
That happened when she was 11. Opal fell seriously ill. Doctors said there was nothing they could do. Lily poured dark elixir over her sister’s body, and she instantly recovered.
She has been healing family friends and neighborhood animals ever since then.
But she was surprised when I told her all the different uses I’d found for the liquid black rock I’d brought back from Great-Aunt Emma’s place.
She has never used her own elixir for anything but healing, watering the garden, and making an occasional touch-up on black clothing.
Though Boris suspects someone intentionally stopped the dark elixir fountain, Lily says it never even occurred to her to try controlling it.
So she has no explanation for why the fountain dried up and thwarted his schemes.
And she’s more than a little worried about what Boris will do when he gets tired of waiting for the fountain to start up again.
Later
There is a dumbwaiter in this house! Nobody told me there was a dumbwaiter! Apparently nobody considers a dumbwaiter to be an alternate means of transportation. I am about to show them otherwise.
Later
I folded myself into the tiniest ball possible inside the dumbwaiter and Opal lowered me to the bottom of the shaft, which opens onto the basement. YES! The basement. I had to sit there, folded into the tiniest ball possible, for approximately forever, slowly slowly sliding open the door of the dumbwaiter and keeping a sharp watch out for henchmen, but eventually I determined that the coast was clear, and could roll myself out and breathe again.
Oh the basement, the glorious basement! The treasures! The heirlooms! The non-fountaining fountain of black rock!
Later
Have gotten better acquainted with above-mentioned hole than I expected to. Had just pasted in the above photo when I heard the basement door opening, a
nd boots thumping down the stairs, and henchmen voices caroling in their sweet dulcet tones. Ha. Ha. Ha. So I dived into the hole, of course. Smart move, Self. No point in hiding behind a huge, sturdy, safe, unmovable piece of furniture when there is a dirty, pitch-black, unexplored hole to dive into. Especially when said henchmen are equipped with pickaxes and shovels, and are hex-bent on expanding said hole to China.
So yeah. Imagine my horror when I realized I had chosen the worst possible hiding place in the whole basement, essentially trapping myself. It was too late to climb out—they’d see me in a second—so I looked around the hole in a panic. I don’t really know what I expected to find,31 but here’s what I saw: Though at first glance the walls of the pit were the same all around, roughly hacked into the earth under the house, on SECOND glance I was sure I saw something different on one side. I know it sounds bizarre, but it was like a light was shining through the dirt at that place. Only . . . it wasn’t light EXACTLY . . . it was darkness.
Yes. I saw darkness shining through the dirt. OK? That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
Anyway, I started digging with my hands at that spot, and found the dirt falling away easily, quickly revealing an open space beyond the pit. I dove through that hole right before the henchmen started throwing their tools into the pit. Then I hurried to block up my tunnel again before they saw it. Luckily there were enough rocks at hand to do the job—as good a job as I could do for the moment, anyway. Am now sitting here by the spot, listening to the men on the other side, and writing by the tiny light of my spy-cam, since it is pitch-dark in here. Heard the thugs lower themselves into the pit and commence their digging, complaining loudly all the while. They don’t seem to have noticed my little doorway. Fingers crossed they never will!