“I will Ashley, don’t you worry about that,” she said.
“You don’t look too good yourself. Did they hurt you?”
“I’ve had worse.”
His eyes slipped to her scar. “True,” he said softly before heading down the steps, followed by a team of uniforms ready to take charge of their prisoners. People in white SOC suits hovered nearby, waiting for the serial killers to be taken away so they could start work on the scene.
“We’ll meet up with you tomorrow. Go get some sleep,” Rachel told the others. “And thank you all so much.”
Rachel took Ryan’s hand and together they wandered over to one of the waiting ambulances. The paramedics insisted Ryan lie on a stretcher but when it became clear he was never going to acquiesce to their demands they were content for him to sit in the back with Rachel. She called home as they were driven to the hospital, knowing her parents and Leah would be on tenterhooks.
“Yeah it’s me Dad. We’ve got him back safe and sound. He is, yes I am too. We’re all fine. The only ones who got hurt were the killers. We’re just on our way to the hospital so he can be checked over then we’ll come home.” She smiled and swallowed down the lump in her throat. “Love you too Dad. Yes, I will.”
She hung up and smiled at Ryan. “Dad asked me to tell you they all love you and can’t wait to see you.”
Ryan was filled with warmth and, despite the horror he’d just endured, he smiled. He wrapped his arm around Rachel and hugged her tight, wondering if he should tell her about what Actaeon and Orion had made him eat. He didn’t know if he could. What if she never wanted him near her again? What if she couldn’t kiss him? But he had to tell someone. If he didn’t this would eat him from the inside out. Ryan chuckled inwardly at his own play on words. Yes, he’d bought the meat back up again but he still felt sick every time he thought about it. His stomach churned at the memory and he grimaced.
“What’s wrong? Are you feeling okay?” said Rachel, pressing a cool hand to his forehead.
“Just tired,” he said, trying to raise a reassuring smile for her. How could he tell this divine creature he’d eaten human flesh? But how could he keep it in? His dark, filthy secret wanted to burst from him and he was torn between the desperate desire to confess all and have someone share the burden of his horror and keep it all in so it didn’t destroy his life. An appalling thought occurred to him. What if Orion told the police they’d fed him the meat? It would come out in court. What would Rachel think if she found out in the middle of the court case and he hadn’t told her? There was no option. All he could do was tell her and pray she wasn’t repulsed by him. He held onto her tighter, making the most of her before she left him in disgust.
They completed the journey to the hospital in silence, which Ryan was grateful for. He couldn’t bear making small talk but as always she understood his needs. She remained by his side in silence as he was poked and prodded by the doctors, the cuts on his wrists and hands from the manacles cleaned and bandaged, told he was a bit dehydrated and bruised but otherwise fine and that he could go home.
As he dressed after the examination Rachel said, “there’s something you’re not telling me.”
He ignored the question, hoping she’d let it go. Now the time had come he didn’t think he could deal with it.
“Don’t do this,” she said gently, as though she was talking to one of their children when they were upset.
“Do what?”
“Shut me out again. You remember what happened after we lost Thomas?”
He nodded and let his hands fall to his sides. He’d bottled up his grief and it had almost split them up. After they’d reconciled he’d made himself a promise that he would never jeopardise his marriage again, but would telling her break that promise? He didn’t often feel confused but he did now.
“Not here,” he mumbled, taking her hand and leading her out of the cubicle. There was no way he was confessing this with just a curtain dividing them from complete strangers.
He led her into a vacant relative’s room, released her hand and started to pace. Rachel patiently waited for him to build up to whatever it was he had to say. All the possible scenarios of what those psychos had done to him rushed through her mind and her breath was snatched from her.
“They made me eat something,” he eventually said.
“Eat what?” she said, puzzled by this unexpected reply.
“Meat.”
“What sort of meat?”
He looked at her standing there and took a moment to drink her in, desperately hoping this wouldn’t be the last he saw of her. The pressure of what he had to say built to such a degree that he thought he might explode then suddenly everything in him relaxed, as though he was in the eye of the storm and he found his voice. “John Owen.”
“John Owen the last victim? I don’t understand…”
She went completely still, staring at him in total shock. The silence drew out, making him shift with discomfiture. When he realised he was mimicking Orion’s agitated movements he forced himself to stop and calm down. He thought if she ran out on him he’d catch her, he wouldn’t let her leave until he’d made her understand that he’d had no choice, they would have hurt her and the kids if he hadn’t, it was all for them.
“That’s why you wouldn’t kiss me?” Only her lips moved, her eyes stared at him, unblinking.
“How could I after what I’d…consumed?” he said helplessly. “I threw it back up again, I didn’t digest it, thank God. I’m not tainted by it…” He took a deep breath when the words dried up and he looked at her pleadingly, begging her not to leave him.
She started moving towards the door and he readied himself to intervene. What they had was too good, he wouldn’t let her give up on them. But instead of moving round him she rushed up to him, clamped his face between her hands and kissed him. Her tongue fought its way into his mouth, demanding admission and he gave it willingly. He could enjoy the kiss now she knew everything. Her fingers played with the hair at the nape of his neck, teasing, stroking, just like always. His Rachel was still here, pressed against him, hot and demanding. She was still his.
“Thank you, thank you,” he whispered. He felt the bizarre urge to cry but he would not give into it. Why should he? He still had her.
“It wasn’t your fault, they made you do it,” she said, cradling his face, pressing her forehead to his. “I’m so glad you told me, we’ll share the burden together.”
“It doesn’t disgust you knowing what I’ve swallowed?”
“Not at all. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Nothing will stop me wanting you.”
She held him as he hung onto her, his body going weak with relief. Orion and Actaeon hadn’t destroyed his life. They’d go to prison and he’d move on, with Rachel.
“I’m hoping they were bullshitting me and they made me eat deer or badger or something,” he said.
“Maybe they were. Probably in fact. This is their twisted mess, not yours. Shall we go home and see the kids?”
He managed to raise a smile. “That would be incredible.”
She took his hand and led him to the door. She was taking him home, finally.
CHAPTER 28
“Dad,” cried Leah the second he stepped through the door. She threw herself at him and refused to let go, Ethan and Aaron dancing around him, trying to get a look in too. He picked the boys up, one in each arm, and kissed them both on the cheek. When they started to wriggle he put them down and picked up Leah.
“Don’t tell me you’re too old for a big hug?” he gently teased.
“No Dad, I’m not,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her head on his shoulder, just like she used to when she was a little girl.
Rachel watched them together, an overload of emotion tightening her chest. Gill and Rick greeted him next, Gill dabbing at her eyes with a tissue after giving him a hug.
“Alright sweetheart?” said Rick, sliding his arm around Rachel’s sho
ulder.
“Yeah Dad, fine,” she rasped, choked with emotion.
“You did good love. I knew you could do it.”
“I had a lot of help.”
“You brought him home safe. That’s all that matters.”
“Yeah,” she said, smiling through her tears.
“I’ll get you a drink, I think we could all use one.”
The three children all fell asleep an hour after Ryan’s return, worn out with worry and stress. Leah remained clamped to her dad, arms locked around his neck, refusing to let go. Rachel and Rick carried the boys upstairs and when Ashley eventually turned up, pale and tired, Rachel roused Leah and insisted she go to bed. Seeing Ashley she understood why they wanted her out of the way and quietly acquiesced, to Rachel’s eternal gratitude.
Gill, not ready to hear it yet either, went to bed too on the pretext of keeping an ear out for the children but Rick and Rachel remained with Ryan, sitting either side of him as he explained his story. When he got to the part about being forced to eat the meat Rachel grasped his hand while Rick turned white, feeling sick to his stomach.
“We found the meat in the fridge at the hide and more in a chest freezer at Crossly’s home,” said Ashley. “We’re having it analysed. We’ll soon know its origins.”
Ryan nodded. “It was probably an animal and they were having me on. They’re sadists, it was just another psychological torment.”
“Probably,” replied Ashley with an encouraging smile that seemed a bit weak to Ryan. Had one of their experts already taken a look and declared it was human? He was too exhausted and fearful to ask. That could wait until he was feeling a little stronger.
“How’s Actaeon, I mean Brian?” said Ryan.
“Not good. Critical condition actually. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer man,” said Ashley sarcastically, running a hand through his hair. “What happened to his eye?”
Ryan glanced at Rick, who nodded. “Tell the man,” he said. “Whatever it was he deserved it.”
“I gouged it out,” said Ryan.
The room went silent as they all digested this which, Ryan thought, Actaeon was doing at that very moment. He wanted to laugh out loud again. Maybe a gallows humour was the only way to get through this?
“Where did it go? We couldn’t find it?”
“I shoved it into his mouth then broke his jaw so he couldn’t spit it out. I was angry because he’d made me eat fried John Owen. I never eat fried food.” He wanted to laugh again then thought that would be too much. Ashley was already eyeing him with unease. “Sorry,” added Ryan. “That was tasteless.” Like Actaeon’s eye no doubt. No, don’t laugh. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, it’s no joking matter.”
“You’ve been through a huge ordeal, it’s only natural you’ll be out of sorts for a while,” said Ashley kindly. “People react to trauma in lots of different ways. Go with whatever works for you.”
This actually made him feel better. “I will. Thank you Ashley.”
When it was Rachel’s turn to make her statement she looked to her dad. “It’s alright, you can go to bed now.”
“You’re not getting rid of me that easily young lady.” He studied her suspiciously. “What did you do that I won’t like?”
“That’s what I’d like to know too,” said Ryan.
“Plenty,” she sighed.
Both men tutted disapprovingly as she explained how she and Jules had gone against Riley’s orders and chased after the figure through the woods.
“That was Orion, he was armed with a hunting rifle,” said Ryan, fighting the urge to shout. He didn’t want to disturb the children.
“What were you thinking Rachel? You could have been shot,” said Rick, purple with anger.
“But I wasn’t. We were both fine and we got Ryan back.”
When she looked to Ashley for support he shook his head. “Don’t look at me, I told you not to go in there, didn’t I?”
“If we hadn’t then Ryan wouldn’t be sitting here now,” she countered.
This shut them all up and Ashley looked at the floor, ashamed they had succeeded where he’d failed.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean…,” she began.
“It’s okay Rachel. Besides, you’re right.” Ashley snapped his notebook shut and got to his feet. “I’ve got all I need for now but I will need to speak to you both again.”
“You know where to find us,” said Rachel.
When he’d gone Rachel found herself sitting between her husband and her father, both of whom were looking at her disapprovingly.
“Please don’t start, either of you. Ryan’s home and that’s all I care about. Now I’m going to bed, I’m knackered.” She looked to Ryan. “You coming?”
“Certainly,” he replied, trying not to sound too eager. He couldn’t wait to curl up with her. “By the way, only us three and Ashley know about me eating the meat. I’d appreciate it if it could stay that way for as long as possible.”
“We won’t breathe a word, will we Dad?”
“No way. I don’t even want to think about it.”
“Are you going to bed too?” Rachel asked her dad.
Rick shook his head. “I don’t think I’ll sleep.” After listening to Ryan’s tale he knew he’d have some pretty horrific stuff churning around in his brain for a while. He watched them both head upstairs and felt an enormous pride at their strength and courage, physical as well as mental. Was there nothing they couldn’t take on? He was pleased to see that Rachel looked more her old self now Ryan was back home. It was true, they needed each other to complete themselves.
“Are you okay?” Rachel said sleepily. Ryan had wrapped himself around her, his grip desperate and even though she was too hot and smothered by his chest it felt wonderful.
Before coming to bed he’d indulged in a hot shower to wash away the last of the hide then brushed his teeth for almost ten minutes. He still didn’t feel clean. “Fine.”
She lifted her head from the pillow, which was a huge effort, she was so exhausted. The stress was leaving her body, turning every part of her to lead. However he was gazing up at the ceiling, wide awake.
“You’re not,” she said, pushing herself up on her elbows.
He relaxed his hold on her and turned on his side to face her. “I’ve just never been that helpless before. I hated it. Those pathetic excuses for men made me completely powerless.”
“I wouldn’t say that. You half-killed one of them.”
“That was very satisfying,” he said with a morbid smile. “I’ll never live the humiliation down, allowing myself to be abducted by turnips like that.” He took a shaky breath before continuing. “They murdered those other men, cut bits out of them, cooked them and ate them. They were proud of themselves. What are those men’s families going to think when they find out? What will John Owen’s family think of me when they find out I ate some of him too?” He raked a hand down his face. “Sorry,” he said, appalled to realise he was on the verge of crying.
“It’s alright, let it out,” she said gently, pulling her to him.
He buried his face in her lap but he refused to cry. He would not let Orion and Actaeon do that to him.
Jules, Riley and Beth had met up with Mikey and Jez at the hotel suite Rachel had arranged for them and they were sat around together in silence. Battler and Bruiser had gone home to rest. All of them were exhausted but still too wired to sleep.
Riley kept casting surreptitious glances at Jules. He couldn’t understand how quickly he’d gone from hate to respect in such a short space of time. Maybe because deep down he didn’t really blame her for what had happened to Zoe and Maisie. The past had finally released its grip on him and he felt freer than he had in years. He glanced at Beth curled up beside him on the couch, knees tucked under her, and smiled. The future was right beside him. When he put his arm around her she nestled into him and he kissed her golden hair. She smelled of strawberries. Yummy. He was eager to take her into the bedroom and repeat w
hat they’d done in the castle at Scotland, only this time they’d get the whole night together, but somehow it didn’t seem right, not after what they’d gone through tonight, as though to have fun would be disrespectful to Ryan. God only knew how he was feeling.
“Do you think we should go to Ryan and Rachel’s in the morning?” he asked the room. “Or do you think they’d like a bit of space?”
“We go round there,” said Jez. “Times like this we all stick together. It’s what they’d expect.”
Riley was relieved. He needed to see his brother, needed to know he was okay.
“Can you believe Bruiser’s going to be a dad?” said Jez.
“I know, hard to believe,” said Mikey. “He’s head over heels with Daina.”
“She’s a nice girl, bubbly,” said Beth. “They’re talking about a spring wedding next year. She wants me to be a bridesmaid.”
“I think we could all do with something nice to celebrate after recent events,” said Mikey.
“Let’s hope things settle down now, I don’t know how much more I can take,” said Beth. She pushed herself upright, stretched and yawned. “I’m sorry, I can’t stay awake any longer. I’m off to bed.”
She looked meaningfully at Riley, who blinked back at her. Was she saying what he hoped she was saying? He was conscious of the others’ eyes on him and was unsure how to reply.
“You coming?” she said when he failed to respond.
“You want me to?”
“Yes,” she replied through tight lips, clearly embarrassed about having to explain herself in front of everyone.
“Oh right, then yeah,” he said, beaming like a Cheshire cat before hastily wiping the smile off his face, not thinking it appropriate in the circumstances.
“Night all,” he called as Beth took his hand and led him in the direction of the bedrooms, admiring her neat little backside as she walked slightly ahead of him. Sod it, what did it matter if it was inappropriate? No one would know.
“I think I’ll have a hot bath then turn in too,” said Jez, standing and stretching. “My back’s aching from going arse over tit in the woods. Bastard tree branch.”
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