by Reid, B. B.
The bathroom door opened, and Tyra finally emerged, her eyes puffy and rimmed red.
I hated myself for making her cry and even more for accepting the fact that I’d have to do it again. And again. And again.
A commotion near the emergency room entrance drew my gaze as a distraught Jamie and Bee rushed inside. I lifted my hand, waving to get their attention. Once they noticed me, I turned back to where Tyra had been to find her gone again.
Fuck.
Shoving to my feet, I ignored the puzzled looks Jamie and Bee gave me as I shoved past them without so much as a “hello” and headed for the elevators. After scanning the floor chart on the wall for the maternity ward, I stabbed the up button. My hands shook as I waited for the elevator to take me to the second floor. Four appeared by my side seconds later though I ignored her. Whatever she had to say, I doubt it was kind, and even though I deserved her wrath and venom, I wasn’t in the mood.
“She’s on the third floor,” she informed me after several seconds passed. I followed her finger to where she pointed on the chart. “In the NICU.”
My heart rose to my throat. “What?”
“That’s where you’ll find them.” The look she gave me then was sharp enough to kill. “If you hurt either of them,” she whispered, “Lou and I will bury you alive. We’ve already got a nice, secluded spot picked out.” She paused, cocking her head to the side. “Maybe we’ll toss in some poisonous snakes, too.”
Without another word, she sauntered away just as the elevator doors opened. I wasn’t dumb enough not to believe her. For some reason, however, I wasn’t afraid of the possibility. Everything I’d done had been to keep Tyra safe. I’d do no less for my son. Stepping inside the elevator, I stabbed the button for the third floor. My hands shook the entire way up.
At nineteen, I was far from ready, but was anyone ever really?
How the hell would I move forward? How would I take care of them? Questions that needed answers.
When the doors opened, and I stepped onto the floor, I felt drawn by a magnet. There was a wash station outside the sliding doors where I followed the directives posted, and then after sanitizing my hands, I entered the NICU. Several cries filled the floor, and I wondered if any of them belonged to my son. The nurse at the reception pointed out the room I was looking for after giving her Tyra’s name. Each one of my steps felt heavy as I headed in that direction.
Here goes everything. Every-fucking-thing.
I realized for the first time since letting Tyra go that I still had something to lose. My heart had been hers, but now it belonged to someone else, too. Someone I’d never even met.
The glass door was automated, so it slid open the moment I approached, and I slowly stepped inside. The room was empty save for a couch, a recliner, and machines surrounding a crib.
Tyra was nowhere to be found.
I didn’t realize I was walking until I stood over the crib. The moment my gaze connected with the baby inside, my knees threatened to buckle. He started kicking his legs, and what seemed like an excited smile spread his lips.
As if he’d been waiting for me.
I couldn’t stop staring as my grip tightened on the railing that kept him safely inside. The need to hold him was great, but, fuck, he was small. So very fragile. I didn’t know much about babies, but even for a newborn, he seemed tiny as fuck. I wanted to find Tyra and interrogate her, but I couldn’t take my gaze away. I couldn’t bring my feet to move. I could have stood here forever.
“He was born three months ago.”
The whisper came from behind me. I turned and found Tyra standing inside a door with what looked like a private bathroom behind her. Her whiskey gaze seemed to dim as I scowled at her admission. Tyra hadn’t been pregnant the night at the party. I think I would have fucking noticed if she’d been that far along since I’d had my dick in her every goddamn day. I’d been fucking her constantly as if my every breath depended on it. “I was only six months pregnant,” she explained at my look. “River could have fit in your palm. Better than any football.”
I wanted to rip her a new one for the scorn I heard in her tone at that last part, but I could only focus on one thing.
River…
That was his name.
Had she given my son my last name or hers? I swallowed, too nervous about what I might do to ask. “So, at what point did you think to tell me I had a fucking kid?” I inquired instead.
Squaring her shoulders, she lifted her chin. A moment later, I realized it was to keep from crumbling. “When he almost died.”
I froze as fear, disgust, and anger at both of us ripped through me. It was all I could do not to give in to the emotions by putting a fucking hole in the wall. I nearly lost him before I ever even knew I had him.
“And you didn’t tell me when you found out you were pregnant because…”
“I wanted to hurt you.”
Turning away from her, I watched my son stretch his tiny body and yawn as if he were already bored with the two of us and our bullshit. I didn’t blame him. “Congratulations,” I muttered as I stared at my son. “You fucking succeeded.”
“And I wanted to be free of you.”
I stiffened despite her low whisper. “So if he hadn’t almost died, you would have never told me?”
“I wasn’t planning on either of us being parents. We weren’t ready.”
More calmly than I would have given myself credit considering her revelation, I spoke. “I suggest you figure it the fuck out because you’re not giving up my kid, Bradley.”
“I’m keeping him,” she snapped. “You can do what you want. You always do.”
I didn’t bother to respond as I turned toward the crib. Even though I was terrified of hurting him, I couldn’t go another second without holding him. Carefully, I lifted River from his crib and felt warmth flood my chest and stomach. Meanwhile, my son stared at me the entire time as if I’d grown two heads. Sometimes, I felt as if I had. More and more, I felt my former self slipping away. I barely recognized the old me who have never considered crushing Tyra’s windpipe. What if River’s early arrival had been a desperate twist of fate? My son offering me a final chance at salvation?
I didn’t fear death, but I was scared shitless of disappointing him.
“If he was born three months ago,” I asked as I gently cradled him, “why is he still so small?”
I heard her deep inhale as if she needed to draw strength. “A premature baby develops the same outside the womb as they do inside. River might be three months old, but he’s still a newborn. He wasn’t even considered full-term until a few days ago.” I heard her shift nervously before she added, “My due date wasn’t for another couple of weeks.”
“What day was he born?”
“January fifth.”
I almost swore at how close I’d been to sharing a birthday with my son. Was it corny to wish that we had? I didn’t care. When I felt my hands start to shake, I quickly sat down on the sofa. I tracked every move he made and listened to every sound. In no time, I was utterly enthralled and completely fascinated by this little being.
“His last name?” I finally asked, keeping my gaze on River. He started crying the moment I tensed in anticipation. Tyra rushed over, and I let her take him from my arms, feeling helpless and clueless as I watched her soothe him before placing him back inside his crib.
“Rees,” she finally answered, her soft lips trembling even as my shoulders sagged with relief. I wondered if she regretted giving my son my last name.
River Rees.
My eyebrows rose at that, but I said nothing. The name she’d chosen was unusual, and I literally bit my tongue until it bled to keep from asking her why. I’d just managed to shake off the urge to know why when I caught sight of Four rounding the corner. Ever, along with a perplexed Jamie and Bee, were right on her heels.
If I could, I would have locked them out—Tyra included—so I could spend some much-needed alone time with my son. Unfortunately,
the automatic door slid open, and they all poured in at once.
“HOLY SHIT,” JAMIE WHISPERED IN awe for the thousandth time since meeting River. He still hadn’t taken his eyes off the baby even though River had fallen asleep. For a while, he seemed to eat up all of the attention before getting bored and nodding off. “I can’t believe one of us has one of these. He’s fucking cute as hell.” With a twinkle in his eye and a goofy grin, Jamie met my gaze. “Are you sure he’s not mine?”
I rolled my eyes while Vaughn growled. Possessive asshole. “I’m not sure how much you paid attention in Sex Ed, Jameson, but the possibility would have required us sleeping together.”
“And stop cursing around my fucking kid,” Vaughn snapped.
Closing my eyes, I rubbed my temples because they were both idiots.
“What’s the big deal?” Jamie argued. “He can’t even hold his head up much less understand what I’m saying.”
Thankfully, one of the nurses arrived at that moment to remind us that visiting hours were over. As happy as I was to be reunited with my friends and for River to meet his aunts and uncles, I was relieved to see them go. If I’d known when I opened my eyes this morning how long this day would be, I would have stayed in bed. So much had happened in twenty-four hours that I’d need at least a week to recover.
“Come back tomorrow?” I invited when they seemed reluctant to leave. I knew they were all silently worried I’d disappear again, and I hated myself for putting that fear in them. Not one of them had been angry or cruel, welcoming me back into their fold as if I’d never left.
Of course, Jamie was the first to accept. “You bet! Maybe then you can both share with us how this accidentally happened,” he added, using his fingers to make air quotes. I didn’t miss the skeptical look he shot Vaughn’s way.
For some reason, my gaze followed Jamie’s, wondering before waving the paranoid thought away. Vaughn’s surprised reaction to River made it more than clear he hadn’t planned this.
We said our goodbyes and everyone except for Vaughn filed out of the room.
“How did this happen?” Vaughn asked as soon as we were alone. River chose that moment to wake up again and immediately began fussing. After checking his diaper and finding it soaked, I carried him over to the changing table with Vaughn on my heels. “We used a condom. Every fucking time.”
“I asked myself the same question whenever my head ended up in a toilet bowl. Apparently, piercings reduce the effectiveness of condoms—by like a lot.” I glanced over my shoulder in time to see his puzzled look. I ignored the heat creeping up my neck because I couldn’t stop thinking about his dick. Dumb twat. “There must have been a hole in the condom.”
“I think I would have noticed.” His arrogant tone brooked no argument.
“Oh, yeah?” I challenged anyway as I removed River’s soiled diaper. I started cleaning him when I spoke again. “Then how do you explain your son?” When Vaughn said nothing, I met his gaze. “The hole must have been small enough for neither of us to notice and big enough for him to slip through.”
Our gazes flew to River, and was it me, or did he seem a little smug when his lips spread in what resembled a smile? Surprise, bitches! I knew if he could, he’d be laughing right now.
“Maybe you should get on the pill,” Vaughn blurted, blowing out air that I felt curl around my nape and work its way down my spine until I shivered. That was how close he was hovering behind me now. Something told me I wouldn’t be able to take a single step back without running into his chest first. I could already feel the heat. “Or whatever chicks take so that this doesn’t happen again. At least not any time soon.”
We both seemed to freeze as soon as he stopped speaking.
“Here’s a thought,” I mused, recovering from his slip first. “You could remove your piercing. Or better yet, we don’t have sex.” Grabbing a fresh diaper for River, I muttered, “I like the latter option more.”
I felt Vaughn’s hands grip my hips as soon as the diaper was on the baby, and then his hard-on pressed into my spine. “It’s not a matter of if but when, pip-squeak.” His whisper sounded suspiciously like a threat even though I knew he wouldn’t force me. “Sooner or later, you’ll get that itch. You’re in for a surprise if you think anyone’s scratching it but me.”
Recognizing the rabbit hole I’d fallen down once before, I lifted River from the table and kissed his soft cheek before returning him to his crib. Once he was snug as a bug in a rug, I whirled on Vaughn, forcing my lips into a smirk. “It’s been a few months since we had sex. What makes you think I haven’t already had that itch?”
“Oh, I know you have,” he replied while closing the distance between us. “Just like I know you have it right now.” Vaughn smiled then, and it was that cocksure smile I both hated and missed so much. “My dick isn’t exactly forgettable.”
Tucking the hair that slipped from my ponytail behind my ear, I cast my gaze to the floor. The warmth between my legs kept building and building, and it was all I could do not to spread them. “You’re right, I…I couldn’t forget how good you felt inside of me,” I shyly admitted. “I couldn’t stop craving the need to let go. I wanted more.” The room became charged, and I knew soon, inhibitions would be a thing of the past if we both let go. I was panting by the time Vaughn ate up the distance, so when he caged me in by resting his forearms on the crib railing, I let him. “That’s why you should know…”
I heard the unchecked arrogance in his tone when he spoke. “Yes?”
Lucky for me, I knew just the cure. Snapping my gaze from the floor and seeing the lust in his own, I lifted on my toes until our lips nearly touched. “I’ve had better.”
I returned my heels to the floor and watched as he blinked. Then he took a stunned step back as his brain refused to accept my claim. “Come again?”
My lips pulled back in a snarl. “You don’t get to fuck my sister and expect my pussy to remain under your lock and key.” This time, I was the predator, and he was the prey as I stalked him across the room. Vaughn’s eyes were wide with fear as if I truly might eat him alive. “You also don’t get to waltz back into my life and start making demands. We don’t get to start over as if nothing ever happened. Once a cheater, always a cheater, and I’ll never forgive you.”
Hearing that, he seemed to recover as the shock cleared his green eyes, and rage darkened them. If I were willing, I’d admit to seeing that kernel of hope he held within them vanish. “And once you’re mine, you’ll never be anyone else’s. That I can fucking promise you.”
“Wanna bet?”
He made a sound of disbelief. Right in my face, the cocky bastard scoffed. “Why would I waste time when we both know I’ll be balls deep inside of you the minute you let your guard down? And when that’s no longer enough for me, I’m going to steal your heart again without breaking a sweat. Mark my fucking words.”
“You mean break it,” I corrected him without missing a beat. I refused to acknowledge the sorrow making my body tremble. I tried to stop it, but it was too great, so I let myself feel it as a reminder. “When sex is no longer enough for you, you’re going to break my heart again, not steal it.”
He winced. No longer smug, he reached for me, but I dodged his hold. “Pip-squeak, I—”
“Save it.”
For a moment, Vaughn looked like he wanted to argue, but then there was defeat in his eyes before he stepped around me. I didn’t move to stop him when I heard the automatic door slide open or dare to watch him walk away. Tomorrow would tell if it was just from me or from his son, too.
UNABLE TO FACE MY FATHER just yet, I didn’t go home when I left the hospital last night. Instead, I’d gone back to the beach house where I tossed and turned all night after cleaning up the glass from the vase Tyra destroyed. I hadn’t even felt the cuts and scrapes on my neck and face, but none of them had been major, anyway.
When morning came, I was back at the hospital, but I forced myself to stay away from the third floor for now.
I couldn’t get the devastation in Tyra’s eyes out of my head. It called to the part of me I’d been forced to bury to protect her. And I couldn’t even tell her why. I seriously doubted she’d believed me anyway. I played the part of a monster a little too well for it to be anything other than real.
“You look like shit,” Wren greeted me as soon as I trudged into his room. Lou was nowhere to be found, and like a coward, I was a little relieved. I was in no mood for even a taste of what Ever had gotten yesterday. I liked my asshole the way it was.
“Indeed, I feel like it, too.” I lowered into the chair by his bed with a groan. I’d given up on sleep around the crack of dawn and, for some reason, decided to work out. Every single one of my muscles ached from disuse.
“So I heard about the kid,” he said after neither of us had spoken for a while. “Congratulations, asshole.”
I shook my head in disbelief. Having a kid at nineteen was not exactly something I aspired to, but now that he was here, I had a hard time feeling any regret. It was a weird fucking space to be in, that’s for sure. “Yeah, thanks, man.” I couldn’t help the prideful grin that spread my lips a moment later. My kid was adorable as fuck even though he scared the shit out of me. I couldn’t stop thinking about him and wondered what he was doing at this very moment.
He’s a newborn, jackass. He’s probably shitting himself or sleeping.
“Just between you and me,” Wren said after verifying that we were still alone, “was it really an accident?”
“Seriously? Jamie implied the same thing. The fucking condom broke, bro. Are you mental?” Wren winked before shrugging, and I had a hard time holding back my devious grin when he winced from the movement. “He wasn’t planned,” I insisted.
“Maybe not by Tyra,” he teased.
I found myself smirking, even as I flipped him off. “Fuck you, man.”