“May I ask who it was that told you about section twelve?” Doctor Singh prodded.
Erin shrugged beneath her bindings. “Lots of people. There was a lot of gossip going around, but I guess the main source of that information would be Major Tom and his team. I was rescued just a few days too late to catch that town hall meeting, but I was updated by nurses and fellow patients. From what I heard, Major Tom’s team did their best to try and excavate their way to section twelve, but they were too late. By the time they cut through the walls they had already lost communication three days prior and they knew what they were most likely walking into.”
“Could you be more specific?” Doctor Singh asked.
Erin got an uncomfortable look on her face and seemed to want to squirm. “Not really. As I said, I wasn’t there. All I know is that it wasn’t a pretty sight to behold and the people that went weren’t taking it well. I didn’t ask for details. I’ve never been able to handle gore all that well and there was plenty of it around for me to not want anymore brought into my life. I got the impression that section twelve was seen as a big failure within the community and that it weighed heavily on Major Tom. I didn’t know him that well at the time, but anyone could see what he was feeling. It was in his eyes and I remember feeling really bad for him every time he walked by. The guy had a lot of responsibility thrust upon his shoulders and I don’t think the people in the community actually realized what they were asking or even expecting of him, but he did the best he could do. I don’t think anyone would ever deny that.”
“Did you and the Major eventually become close?” Doctor Singh asked without ever looking up from her clipboard.
“I guess,” Erin said noncommittally. “I mean, we were two people caught in a crisis and he did try to make time for everyone that he had found in the wreckage, including me. I think he was talking to us to keep our spirits up. I wasn’t exactly making it a secret that I was bitter about losing my legs, but who would?”
“I see…” Doctor Singh said. “Do you think that the Major showed you any special treatment? Did he perhaps show you more attention over the others?”
“I guess I would be lying if I said no,” Erin admitted. “I was the very last one that he and his team ever found from the initial incident and I think he needed me to know that he had done everything he could to dig out the survivors.”
Doctor Singh raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Needed?”
Erin began to squirm again looking uncomfortable. “Well… Maybe not needed, but I know what I was to him. I was something that seemed impossible. I went 20 days without food and water while I was all alone in the dark… I don’t like the word, but I was seen as kind of a miracle within the community. If Major Tom had given up looking when he was told that it was a fool’s errand, then he never would have found me. I was like a beacon of light telling him that his efforts were not in vain and that his perseverance had paid off. Once I figured that out, I think I got a bit of my confidence back.”
“Did he tell you that directly?” Doctor Singh asked.
“No, but he was sweet to me,” Erin said with a hint of affection. “I guess that was an assumption on my part, but he was always asking me how I was holding up and reassuring me that my new legs were going to be finished being built in no time. I needed the boost, so I took it, but I wish I could have done more for him in return, you know? Being a symbol is a nice feeling and all, but it is hardly something that contributes to the actual work that needs to be done. I wanted out of that goddamn chair and to stop being a parasite for sympathy.”
“Was that the only reason?” Doctor Singh asked with her usual unfeeling tone.
Erin grimaced as she looked away and out through her scuffed window. “Well, not exactly… He never told me this directly, but I think he lost his family in section eight. I don’t know for sure, but everyone knew that section eight was a bit of a taboo topic with him and I never really got the story on that one. I heard rumors, but I don’t see any sense in spreading them here and now.”
“I agree,” Doctor Singh said. “Was it just the rumors that led you to this conclusion?”
Erin shook her head. “No. Whenever lights out was announced, I would often see Major Tom pulling a picture of a man out of his wallet and tears would roll down his face in the dark. He was dealing with his own loss and I didn’t want to take him away from that…”
“Did you ever find out, or perhaps catch wind of who it might be?” Doctor Singh prodded once more.
“No…” Erin said while looking sad and distant. “It felt private and I didn’t want to delve into it. I mean, out of curiosity, I caught a glimpse of the picture a few times, but I couldn’t figure out the relation. The man in the picture was too old to be a son, so perhaps it was a friend, or a brother, or a husband, or something along those lines. I never mustered up the courage to ask and I don’t think Major Tom wanted to talk about it. He reminded me of Rodger in a way… Strong and charming and would never put his problems on anyone else. He acted as a soldier is supposed to, with dignity and respect, but he also suffered as a soldier is supposed to, in silence and regret. My heart broke for him with every passing day…”
Erin went quiet for about a minute and soon Doctor Singh’s pen stopped moving across her clipboard. “Is something the matter, Erin?”
Erin had a tear in her eye and her nose let out a sniffing sound. “I’m sorry, but I think that’s enough for today. I’m done talking for now and I’m sure you would like to take this latest entry and pull it apart in your office. I get it, I’m on death row and no longer have any rights, but sometimes I feel like I’m not being treated like a human. Like I’m a science experiment without emotions. Talking about this stuff upsets me more than I would have thought and I think for a brief moment there, I forgot that Major Tom is dead… My hero died protecting me and I no longer have any way to repay him. He never stopped sacrificing himself for me and now here I am on death row… Tom died for nothing and I can never take that back or make it better… I just don’t know what else to do, but comply and be honest. It feels like it’s not enough though. Have I not been submissive since the crash? Have I not already given everything there is to give? Doc… I have no choices left to me and I am at a loss for what to do. I no longer have a hero to protect me and I’m scared of what will happen when this is all over…”
Chapter 05 – Road To Recovery
“Is there a reason Doctor Singh never smiles?” Erin asked peevishly.
“Hey, she’s not as bad as you think,” Nurse Hisaishi protested. “She’s got a heart; it’s just that she hides it well. You have to hide it in a place like this. We’re all guarded to some extent around here and even nice guys like me have received threatening emails because of this. Everything was supposed to be a secret, but someone inside the quarantine has been leaking information about you ever since you’ve arrived. It was to be expected though and my guess is that it’s one of your guards, but we can’t question them. Different company’s employees and all that… I know it sucks feeling like everyone wants you dead, but I want you to know that I don’t want you dead and neither does Doctor Singh. You were a hot potato that got passed around about a hundred times before Doctor Singh took your case and I alone was half of the volunteers that agreed to being your nurse.”
“Yeah, I guess so…” Erin said with a glower. “Admittedly, I think you are far superior to Nurse Helena. That bitch tried to kill me…”
Joe let out a sigh and tried to sympathize from the middle of the fence. “Her kids were working up on Sky Base 10 during the incident… It’s as I said, Erin. We all hide our hearts here and Helena was one of them. We didn’t know she was compromised and we had no time to figure out who was and who wasn’t. It’s been insane ever since the station fell. Even this week, with things finally cooling down, I’ve already clocked in 30 hours of overtime.”
Erin shook her head. “I feel your pain, but she wasn’t compromised, Joe. She was a grieving mother. I probably wo
uld have done the same thing, but it doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it or even all that understanding. I think I’ve earned the right to be somewhat bitter about my circumstances.”
“I won’t argue with that. Are you ready to start?” Nurse Hisaishi asked.
Erin nodded with a moody expression on her face. “Sure, but Doctor Singh has requested that I focus more on the events that happened and leave my personal views out of it, but that’s kind of hard, isn’t it? Before all of this she wanted nothing but my personal views. I don’t get this sudden switch.”
Joe put his hands up as if to surrender. “Hey, I’m just standing in her place while the scary boss lady tends to some other issues. I don’t make the rules.”
Erin continued to fume despite being unable to defeat his logic. “Yeah, but she wants me to talk about something terrible and leave my emotions out of it. Yeah, sure. I’ll get right on that. Don’t you worry, Joe. She’s lucky I even agreed to speak into that stupid recording device of hers. I’m strapped to a bed and bored out of my skull all day and the only time I get to interact with anyone is when I have to relive the most horrible moments of my life, which are all going to take a retrospective back seat to my pending execution. For all I know, these recordings are only going to serve to speed up my execution. I was already told by my lawyer that my right to an appeal was revoked as part of my sentence. So, fuck Doctor Singh’s rules and fuck this recording. I don’t want to do it.”
“Erin…” Joe begged. “I know it’s hard. I know it’s terrible. I know this is about the worst situation anyone can ever find themselves in, but please… If not for Doctor Singh, then can you do it for me? I’ll admit it, I had family up there that died as well and I want to know what happened, but I don’t blame you for what you did, because I believe that it truly was for the greater good. You weren’t the only survivor and that’s a hell of a thing in a terrible situation. So, come on… I’m on your side. I want you to get better, and I want to heal your wounds, and I also want to be the one to reattach your legs. We’re going through this procedure so that you no longer need to be bound to this bed. It’s just the first step and it is a terrible heartbreaking step, but once it is made, who knows where it’ll lead after that?”
Erin chewed her lip in irritation. She was swayed by Joe, but she didn’t want to admit it right away. She glared at him and tried to look angry, but he was so damn young and charming that she had to look away to hide her smile.
“Fine…” Erin grumbled in defeat. “I’ll talk. Where was I? It’s been a couple days. Did I get to the part about my legs? My new ones I mean?”
Joe looked at Doctor Singh’s clipboard and quickly skimmed the notes. “No, not yet. It looks like you mentioned your budding friendship with Major Tom and it seems to end there.”
“Alright, I think I remember where I left off.” Erin took a deep breath and calmed herself down. “Thanks again for being with me today, Joe. I’m sorry about being short with you earlier. And I’m sorry to hear that you’re receiving death threats because of me. You’re a good guy and you don’t deserve that in the slightest.”
Joe let out a laugh. “Hey, you’re not the first patient I’ve treated that got me electronic threats from invisible trolls. This is a prison colony after all.”
“Oh, and here I was thinking that I was special or something. Thanks, Joe. You really know how to cut a lady down in her glory,” Erin said with dry sarcasm.
Joe just smiled as he cleared his throat and did a damn good impression of Doctor Singh’s nearly monotone voice. “Please recount your experiences to me, Misses Wilco. It is with great intrigue that I listen to your accounts. I see in my notes here that I have some pending questions for you, such as if you tried to contact the surface after the incident.”
Erin let out a snicker and it felt as though she had a friend by her side. “Oh Christ… The communications issue was a complete waste of time for everyone. I think it took about a month before we finally gave up on trying to contact the surface. No one ever responded to our distress calls and it was pretty fucking depressing trying to call out into an inky void that didn’t seem interested in calling back. We all had to come to terms with the fact that we were aboard a derelict space station with ever depleting resources. The rumors spread fast that Kyva Corp knew about the incident and was purposefully turning a blind eye in the hopes of avoiding a lawsuit. Something like that had happened to Sky Base 7, years back. It was a much smaller outfit and I think it was something like 75 people operating a satellite over an ice planet colony when a hull breech killed nearly all of them.”
Joe nodded as he jotted down a small note next to Doctor Singh’s nearly illegible swirling fonts. “Yeah, I remember learning about that back in junior high. I’m uhh… I’m not supposed to help you with history lessons and memory stuff, soooo… Could you tell me what you know about the Sky Base 7 incident? It’ll help build a case towards your sound state of mind.”
Erin shrugged. “Sure. Kyva Corp pretended not to receive their distress transmissions and the crew had to jury rig some crude technical wizardry in order to send out distress messages through other channels. The remainder of the crew was eventually rescued and months later a whistleblower came forward with evidence that put Kyva Corp in a very negative light. That’s just the gist of it though, I’m not a history major or anything and I only know about as much as the average person. I’m sure it’s archived on the net somewhere if you want to read up more on it, but I was alive when it happened and I remember the corporation promising reform and throwing money into charities until magically everyone started forgetting about the Sky Base 7 incident. Even me. That’s just human nature though, pretending that stuff never happened and being optimistic despite the overwhelming evidence. Sometimes I think we just can’t help it. It’s in our genetics to deny reality from time to time so we can pretend to be in a place of comfort when the situation is anything but that.”
“I can’t say that I disagree with you,” Joe said absently.
“Yeah…” Erin said with a distant look in her eyes. “Looking back on it all, I find it kind of funny. Looking back on Kyva Corp I mean. Like, we couldn’t contact the surface, the fire suppression systems wouldn’t turn on, there were frequent blackouts, and issues with running water, but everything that took your money, ranging from basic vending machines to the auto-doctors building my new legs, were in peak operating condition. So much so, that the day after my new legs were grafted to my body, I received an electronic bill and a garnishing of my wages mapped out for the next 15 years.”
“Seriously?” Joe asked in disbelief.
Erin nodded with wide eyes and a puffed right cheek. “Yup. I saved that message on my PDA and had a laugh at it whenever I was feeling down. My company’s premium medical insurance didn’t cover it because I didn’t lose my legs during my work shift. The pettiness of it all still astonishes me to this day…”
“Somehow that doesn’t surprise me,” Joe admitted. “How were the legs when you finally got them? Were they a good fit?”
Erin nodded. “Oh yeah, they were perfect. It took me about a week to finally get the hang of them. I stayed close to my wheelchair, but after I finally got over the fact that I couldn’t feel anything below the thighs until the nerves had healed, I began to get the hang of it. The biggest difficulties were the knee joints. They worked perfectly, but it took me some time to trust that fact.”
“You’re not alone,” Joe said conversationally. “That’s the biggest complaint I’ve heard with new amputees.”
Erin tossed him a quizzical expression. “Do you get a lot of amputees around here?”
Joe rolled his eyes as if something idiotic crossed his mind. “Clearly, you’ve never heard of the Death Row Derby down here, but that doesn’t surprise me. It’s Dusk’s dirty little secret.”
“I see…” Erin said passively.
Joe just nodded and continued on. “Did you have any other difficulties? Aside from your legs I mean.�
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Erin bobbed her head back and forth weighing out the thoughts in her head. “I guess so, but nothing too terrible. Getting back onto solid food was a challenge I wasn’t expecting. One of my fellow infirmed was eating a chicken Caesar salad, you know, parmesan cheese, garlic croutons, chunks of juicy chicken… My god, I wanted nothing more than to steal it from him and run into a corner and devour it, but he offered me some and it was like my throat had forgotten how to swallow. I choked several times over many attempts and I thought there was something wrong with me, but the doctors reassured me that nothing was out of the ordinary.”
“I think I know what I’m having for lunch today,” Joe said absently.
“I know, right?” Erin said with hungry eyes. “I could murder a chicken Caesar salad right now, but I’m back on liquids and I’m sure my throat has forgotten how to swallow again.”
“Don’t worry,” Joe said confidently. “We’ll get you back there and I’ll make sure you get one when you’re all better. We can share a lunch some time.”
“I’m holding you to that, Joe,” she said with an intense gaze. “You better not be bullshitting me, because I want my chicken Caesar salad more than any other human ever has.”
Joe let out a laugh and wrote a few extra notes. “You have my word. Were there any complications with your recovery after the incident?”
Erin shook her head. “Not really. They needed to pump me full of a lot of antibiotics and I think I was allergic to one of them, but they caught it quickly and hit me with adrenaline before I started feeling all that ill, but that was it. Swallowing and walking all came back in the end and after a month of recovery I was ready to do my part.”
“Really? That soon?” Joe asked skeptically.
“Well, sort of,” Erin said with an embarrassed tone. “I was still sore and hurting all over, but they had been buzzing my muscles with electrodes for weeks to build up my strength and there was little sympathy to be spared and quite frankly I never asked for it. I was taking up a wheelchair and a hospital bed and there were always new people coming in with bumps and bruises and cuts that needed stitches, so I figured that it was time for me to leave and stick to the regiments that the doctors had given me. There wasn’t any time for ass draggers and I didn’t want to turn into one. I wanted to do my part and pay back the community that had worked together to heal me.”
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