by Sotia Lazu
Her eyes glittered, and her hands drew elegant lines in the air as she spoke of London, Paris, Athens, Rome... “But don’t stick solely to big cities. There’s a town at the foot of the Carpathians that carries the echoes of German and Hungarian conquerors. The food is divine, and it’s got a beautiful little bridge—”
Maybe her previous lamenting of the life she lost was for my benefit. To show me I wasn’t missing much by being a mortal.
But I was. Even if I lived to my eighties, which was around the age she’d be if she were human, I’d never lead the life she led till now. I was achy ’cause I slept in an uncomfortable position. I’d never swim naked across the Thames—illegal, by the way—or climb Mount Kilimanjaro.
So what? I had my youth, my health, a man I loved and who loved me, and enough money to do anything I wanted.
Ruby promised to let me break the news to my parents. She said she’d call or write, and then she was off to her hotel or her next adventure. I didn’t ask which, and she didn’t offer any info.
I felt antsy and exposed. Like my skin was too tight. Too hot. I needed to get dressed. “You said you unpacked?” I asked Alex.
He pointed upstairs. “Master bedroom. Your closet is the one on the right, and I’ve put lingerie and nightwear in the top two drawers of the dresser.”
“Efficient.”
“Aim to please.”
I blew him a kiss. “You’re doing a pretty good job so far.”
He gave an exaggerated bow. “So you see exactly how good, I’ll even bring in your shopping.”
“You’re only doing that so I model my new clothes for you.”
I was still laughing, when pain sliced my gut and made me double over.
Alex rushed to my side. “Are you okay?” When I didn’t answer, he knelt in front of me to meet my gaze.
“Feels like something wrapped its talons in my stomach and pulled,” I said through gritted teeth. The description was familiar. Fuck. “Can you make a quick supermarket trip?”
He looked at me quizzically.
“I think I’m about to get my period.”
“WHERE THE FUCK ARE you?” Sheena screeched over the line. “I called the mansion.”
“You talked to Constantine?” A dull ache that had nothing to do with period pains settled in my stomach when his name spilled from my lips.
Sheena huffed. “He told me you don’t live there anymore. He wouldn’t elaborate. Did you have a fight, or...?”
Or. Definitely or. He ate me out and fucked me with his fingers and then shoved his magnificent cock up my ass. “Is he okay?” I asked.
“So there was fighting?”
“Not the F-ing that transpired, no. But he won’t talk to me now, so end result is the same.” The ache inside deepened. Widened. Screamed with a need I didn’t want to define.
“You fucked him?”
I’d like to correct my previous statement; now she was screeching.
I filled the yawning void with excuses—it was better not to see Constantine again; he’d only complicate things; Alex and I were building something together; there was no room for third wheels. Besides, Sheena’s exuberance was contagious.
I bit my lip and tried to sound nonchalant, when I was dying to share the deets. “Yup,” I said. “Totally did.”
“And Alex?”
“And Alex.”
“No, I mean how did he take it?”
I tugged at a loose curl. “I did all the taking.”
“What are yo— Wait. You fucked Constantine and Alex? At the same time?”
I laughed. Ibuprofen was a thing of beauty, for subduing the angry T-Rex in my womb. “I did. And you’re going supersonic.”
She cleared her throat, and when she spoke next, she sounded more normal. “So what now?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I sneezed an hour ago, and I swear an ovary fell off.”
“What does that have to do with any—” She gasped. “Shit. You sneezed. You’re human again?”
I put some distance between the phone and my ear, and yelled, “I am. So is Alex. Now can you please tone down the hysterics?”
“But it’s a big thing.”
“Inside voice. Please.”
Sheena snorted. “Not sure you get to be cranky.”
“It’s been a long day.”
“Sure has. What with fucking two gorgeous men at the same time.”
“Yeah, well, I’m being punished for that. Got my period.” And one of the men was out of my life for good.
“Shit.” She laughed. “Welcome back to the world of the living. Mother Nature knows how to throw one hell of a party.”
Alex brought me a cup of hot chocolate. I mouthed thank you, and he retreated to the kitchen where he’d been since I heavily implied getting me tampons without an applicator indicated he didn’t care.
“Not sure I like being the guest of honor,” I told Sheena.
“Oh, hush. You’re human again. What’s a little blood and pain compared to that?”
I blew on my chocolate and touched my lips to the cup. Too hot to drink, and no marshmallows. Didn’t I deserve a good, yummy, marshmallowy hot chocolate I could drink?
“There’s the bitching too,” I said. “Alex isn’t happy with me being an emotional mess.”
“That’s a Cherry thing, not a human thing.”
“Fuck you.” But I was grinning.
“Well, since you’re making the rounds...”
I barked out a surprised laugh. “For shame, woman.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m blushing. But before I forget—now that the visual is fresh in your memory, who’s got a bigger cock?”
Her question evoked images of Constantine and Alex naked. Constantine was longer, but Alex was thicker. And I took them inside at the same time. Stretched to accommodate them. Let them fuck me to oblivion.
“Not answering that,” I said.
Sheena made a sound of disappointment. “Can I at least know if it was good?”
I peeked toward the kitchen, made sure Alex wasn’t in sight, and then whispered, “It was fucking amazing. I’ll walk bowlegged for days, but it was incredible, Sheena.” And I wished I could do it again.
“Was there... double penetration? Did you give one of those boys your tight little apple? I mean your ass.”
“I know what you mean, and ew to that description. Seriously.”
“Yeah, you did.” She chuckled.
“Yeah, I did.”
We acted like horny teens exchanging sex stories for a little longer—well, I did most of the talking, while she gasped, giggled, and made snide remarks.
“And how are you feeling about all of this?” She sounded far more serious than a second ago. I thought she was talking about being human, but she went on. “Back in a relationship with Alex after... I mean it’s soon. Moving in together already, cutting all ties to Constantine...”
“That last part wasn’t my choice,” I said.
“But you’re okay with it?”
“Not like I can change things.” I hated the waver in my voice. “He’s right, if you think about it. I’ll eventually see things his way.”
“Are you over him?”
The question landed like a slap on my face. The painkillers were wearing off, my lower abdomen hurt, and my gut churned. I should take something for this. “I thought I was.”
“And now?”
Now I had to be.
Alex came in, to ask if I needed anything else. I shook my head and smiled at him, and he laid a kiss on my forehead before getting his car keys. “I’ll get some food,” he whispered.
I shoved Constantine’s memory aside, squeezed it into a tiny little box and buried it where it wouldn’t mess with me. “I love Alex,” I told Sheena when Alex was out the door. “I’ll make it work.”
She must have caught on to my need to change the subject, because she said, “Any plans for tomorrow? Wanna get lunch?”
“How about Friday? I want to cook for Alex tomo
rrow, to make up for all the nagging.” And for missing Constantine.
I could practically hear Sheena roll her eyes, as she said, “May the Lord have mercy on that boy.”
Chapter Thirteen
I’D WOKEN UP NEXT TO Alex several times before, but this was entirely new, and not because of the foul taste in my mouth.
Alex was spread out across the bed as usual, one leg across mine, and an arm on my stomach. It was annoying when I was a vampire, but sweltering hot when we were both above room temperature and under the sheets.
I slid out of bed and hurried to the bathroom, to brush my teeth and relieve the pressure in my bladder. I hated the human morning routine. As a vampire, all I did most mornings was sleep through them.
All freshened up, I slipped back into bed. Alex had rolled away. I ran my hand down the length of his body, but he lay still. I listened for his heart beat, panicked, and then remembered I couldn’t hear heartbeats anymore.
I pressed closer until his heart thudded against my chest. Or maybe it was the other way around. I wedged my arm underneath his and wrapped it around his waist.
“Are we being naughty or cuddly?” he asked.
“Cuddly.” I rubbed my nose between his shoulder blades. It was too hot under the covers. I flicked them up and folded a leg over them. Better. Now I could stay like this for a couple minutes.
“I love waking up with you again,” he said.
I nodded against his skin. A trickle of sweat tickled the small of my back. Couple of minutes had to be up. “I need coffee.” I laid a kiss on his shoulder and got out of bed.
“Me too. And something to eat.”
“Grilled cheese okay? Lunch will be something more elaborate. Honest.”
He laughed and kicked the sheets away. I stole a glimpse of his naked body as he strolled to the bathroom. His morning arousal was unaffected by his breathing status.
I went down the stairs with a smile on my face that wilted when I saw the dirty dishes in the sink. They were a couple of plates and three glasses, but the last few months with Wesley around and a cleaning service on call had spoiled me.
I turned on the coffee maker and got to washing up. I was living here rent free; I could at least help with the chores, though I planned on covering my share of utilities and expenses too. Alex and I had to have a talk.
“Will you take out the trash?” I asked when he came down in a pair of boxer shorts. He smelled amazing, and if it weren’t for the current no-entry policy in my lady parts, I’d be all over him.
“Can it wait for after breakfast?”
“Sure.” I covered four slices of bread with grated cheddar and put them in the oven, then turned on the grill.
Alex poured us two cups of coffee, added a heap of sugar to mine, and brought our mugs and a carton of milk to the table. I towel dried the dishes while waiting for the cheese to melt.
“I was thinking I should chip in. I mean, if I’m going to live here, I need to pay my way. Cover half of the utilities. Maybe a little extra, since I’m not paying rent?”
Alex looked at me like I’d grown a second head. “You’re not paying rent because you’re my girlfriend. I’m not going to take money from you for staying here. We can share the bills, yeah, but no more than that.”
“Okay. Cool. Yeah.” It still felt weird. I had no problem not paying for anything while we stayed at the mansion, but Constantine didn’t need the money. “And I’ll pay for half of the new furniture we get.”
“Like half a sofa, half a table, and so on?”
I smacked the back of his head with the dishtowel, then used it to take our breakfast out of the oven.
“This isn’t a sandwich,” Alex said when I placed his plate in front of him.
“It’s an open-faced sandwich.”
“So a slice of bread.”
“Two slices.”
He waggled his eyebrows. “Still not a sandwich.”
I grabbed one slice and flipped it over the other. “There. Now it is.”
Alex laughed, and I joined him. This was nice. Relaxed. Fun. Couple-y. I’d stick to it, and soon my blood-drinking days would be behind me, and I’d stop comparing now to then.
We spent the rest of the day watching TV shows—I may have developed an unhealthy attraction to a fictional demon hunter—and talking about mundane things like leasing out his apartment and transferring the house’s utilities to his name.
My belly hurt, but the pain was dulled. The same should eventually happen to the sense of loss that came with scratching out the last few years of my existence.
Lunch was late and consisted of a pretty not bad Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes that came out of a box. I was proud of myself for producing a dish that was neither undercooked nor burned, even if it tasted like boiled chicken to me.
Alex was pleasantly surprised, which would be insulting if I hadn’t warned him that we might have to order in.
The small talk flowed between us while we ate, and then I picked up the table, while he went to get chocolate soufflé.
My heart broke a little with the first spoon full, but I finished my portion and thanked him for getting it. And I felt super-petty for thinking he should have known better than to rub my face into my inability to enjoy my once-favorite dessert.
Alex went to the living room, while I stashed the empty patisserie box in the trash. “You didn’t take out the garbage,” I called out. Yesterday’s leftovers were getting rank in the summer heat.
“I will. Come sit with me. You’ll miss me tomorrow, when I’m at work.”
“Oh, I don’t know... I may go furniture shopping.” I joined him on the couch, and he made room for me to stretch out beside him. Hot again. I was getting a ceiling fan for each room.
We put on a movie. Took a nap. Ate more. I felt like a lazy bum with an expanding waist line, but Alex and I deserved some peace and quiet.
“Did you call any agencies?” he asked during the first action sequence.
I paused the movie. “When? We’ve been together all day. Did you see me calling?”
“You’re right. Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” I pressed Play again
Alex said, “My laptop is upstairs, if you want to look online for modeling agencies.”
“Thanks. I will. When the movie is over.” I kept my finger over the Play/Pause button, waiting to see if he was done.
He wasn’t. “I thought you might want to call while it’s early in the day. Looks more professional.”
Long story short, we didn’t see the movie, and I called four agents, the last of which not only picked up her own phone, but also agreed to meet me tomorrow morning.
“I don’t feel like a thriller.” Alex scrunched his face when I said maybe now we could see the rest. “Wanna try something else?”
I hate, hate, hate not watching something to the end, but this was our day, and I’d compromise. “Like what?”
“Cooking show?”
I rubbed my full stomach. “No, thank you. I should be cutting down on food, if I ever want to work again.”
He placed his hand over mine. “You could join the gym.”
Burn.
I diverted my insecurities from his suggestion, and asked, “Comedy?”
“Can’t think of any I want to see. You?”
I shook my head.
We watched a basketball game.
Actually, he watched it, while I moved my contacts to the new smartphone I bought during yesterday’s shopping spree.
I didn’t mind the me-time.
I minded that the trash was still in the kitchen.
Human. In love. Good prospects.
Couldn’t have everything, but I had a lot.
I took the garbage bag out myself.
It was late, and the first sprinkle of stars lit up the night sky. I sat on the front porch and looked up at them. The darkness felt unfamiliar. The shadows held no shapes I could decipher. No colors blazed through the black.
I knew I’d miss my night vision, but I didn’t believe it’d sting so much.
I lay back and folded my hands on my stomach, seeking out the sounds of the night. An owl made its presence known, somewhere nearby. A neighbor’s cat meowed. A car engine roared. It all sounded so very far away. So disassociated from me. As an anomaly of nature, I’d felt more a part of it than I did now that warm blood flowed in my veins.
It’d pass.
I’d adapt. Humans always do; they can’t afford not to, with time wearing them down.
The door opened behind me, and seconds later, Alex lay down next to me. “Looking for shooting stars?” he asked.
“Reminiscing,” I said.
“Missing the mansion?” Tension lined his voice.
I shrugged and turned to look at him. “If you saw a shooting star now, what would you wish for?”
He propped himself up on his elbow and leaned in, to slant his mouth over mine. “All my wishes have come true,” he whispered against my lips.
I kissed him again before he could ask me the same question, because I had no answer for either of us. I loved him, and I loved having a real chance to be with him, but I didn’t feel complete, and although I missed Constantine, he wasn’t the reason.
I’d made my peace with what Alex had done when he was being used against me, and I felt safe with him again, but the bubble we’d built around us to keep the world out felt restrictive. He was so clear about what he wanted, so determined to move forward, and I still couldn’t adjust the shower temperature.
Was something wrong with me? Did my time as a vampire jade me? Was I damaged?
Chapter Fourteen
I WAS STILL BLOATED in the morning. I couldn’t zip up my jeans without sucking in my stomach and lying on the bed. It did wonders for my self-esteem, when I was about to visit agencies and ask for work.
An agency. So far, Anastasia Looks was the only one to offer me an appointment. I never heard of them before, but they’d be good for practice. My people skills were rusty from disuse, and I was bloated and pissy. I was cool with starting from the bottom up.
I wore a fitted white T-shirt and checked my hair for the millionth time. Despite my best efforts, my curls came nowhere near what I left the hair salon with, but a few hairpins did wonders for that messy-bun look.