Twenty. That’s my age. I can’t imagine. Then again, everyone I know seems to be in a relationship but for me. But marriage? That’s huge. “She said yes, I’m assuming?”
“She did.” Cade laughs. “I was so nervous.”
My lips curve. “Well, congratulations. I’m really happy for you two.” Cade’s been through a lot and he deserves all the good things in life.
“I knew, Levi, from the start that Em would be it for me. You know when you know, ya know?” Cade laughs again.
“Yeah, I know,” I say, though I don’t. I’ll take Cade’s words for it. “Again, very happy for you.”
Cade laughs some more and it strikes me how much he laughs now. It used to be the other way around, me laughing and him brooding. Now I brood and he laughs.
“Have you talked dates?” I ask.
“Em wants to do it this summer on Anna Island.”
“Wow, quick!”
“Just something small and probably at The Pepper House by the bay.”
I prop my bare feet up on the sturdy coffee table. “Yeah, but aren’t her parents Boston high society? Won’t they want something big?”
“Things have changed between them, for the best. It should go the way Em and I want it. Even if you don’t come for an extended time, come for the wedding. A little beach time, some ocean and sun…”
Man, it does sound good. These days my life exists on a tour bus, hotels, and performance venues. I do have the whole summer off and clearly, Mom’s place in Tennessee isn’t working. I take the last bit of Tang and roll it around in my mouth, thinking.
“Plus,” Cade continues. “I’m counting on you being my best man.”
“What?” I sit up.
He laughs. “Tilly would love to have you at The Pepper House. You won’t even have to see your dad. We’ll keep it way on the down-low so your fans won’t know you’re here.”
Cade knows me so well. “I could rent out one of Tilly’s cottages.”
“So is that yes? You’ll be my best man? We go back a long way, man. You were the first person I thought of. But I totally understand if you can’t.”
A smile curves my lips as I tip my head back and stare at the wood beams trailing the ceiling. I imagine myself laying in a hammock by the bay. Wading into the ocean. Exploring that cave Cade showed me years ago when we were still boys. Standing beside him when he marries Em. “Okay, I’m in.”
“Cool, text me your travel plans when you get them.”
We hang up and I keep staring at the ceiling. I look at the time on my phone: 8:30 pm. Time for my weekly call to Mary’s nurse. I dial, already knowing the conversation.
Me: Hello, this is Levi calling to check on Mary.
Nurse: Mary is doing fine.
Me: Does she need anything?
Nurse: No, but I’ll let you know if anything arises.
Me: Okay, thank you. I’ll call again next week.
Out of respect for her family’s wishes, I never ask Mary’s last name or where she’s at. I’m lucky they allowed a weekly call. I also never miss the monthly deposits. I’ve never spoken to her family, but they have to hate me. All I can do is continue to do the right things and hope one day that Mary wakes up.
After shooting off a text to my mom, I close and zip my already packed suitcase. I can’t remember the last time I actually unpacked this thing.
I turn off all the lights in her sprawling mountain home and I stand at the bank of windows peering out over the valley and the sprinkling of lights from the other homes. East Tennessee holds such beauty. Sprawling hills, generous people, and green—so many hues of green.
It doesn’t matter how famous Bus Stop becomes, I always come back here to immerse myself at home. To breathe. To relax. To think and hear. To not be surrounded by the entourage that comes with fame.
It’s funny. It’s at those times when I’m surrounded by the most number of people that I feel my loneliest.
Turning my back on the view, I grab my suitcase and walk out. I’m not tired. I’ll drive through the night and arrive at Anna Island tomorrow morning.
Cade’s right. A change of scenery will do me good.
Chapter 2
GWENNY
“I am so excited you’re coming!” Em squeals. “For the whole summer!”
Holding the phone between my shoulder and ear, I trace my finger down the window of my bedroom that looks out over the Charles River. “Me, too,” I say, more because I know she needs to hear it.
Ever since my sister, Em, defied our parents by going to culinary school and reconnecting with her birth mom, things around here have been tense.
Though I’d never tell Em that.
Em continues, “Did you confirm the tutoring gig with St. Bart’s Academy?”
“I did.” It’s the only thing I’m looking forward to—working with children with disabilities.
“Tilly has a room all ready for you at The Pepper House. In fact, you’ll stay in the same room I used to have.”
Though Aunt Tilly is Em’s birth mom, Em still calls her Tilly. I think it’s out of respect for our mom more than anything.
“Oh, Gwenny, this will be the first time in two years that we’ll have all this great time together. I’ve missed you so much!”
“I’ve missed you, too,” I say. And it’s true, I have. I miss the way things used to be before she left. Before I became horrible. “Okay, I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Bye!”
We disconnect and I turn from the window to look at my bedroom. I take in the off white walls, gleaming wood desk, pale green dresser, and the peach comforter tucked neatly around the four-post bed. I have a quick flash of me and Em laying right there giggling and it brings a sad smile to my lips.
It’s been forever since I giggled.
With a sigh, I glance down to my packed hard case and unexpected nerves swim through my belly. With high school behind me and college a few months away, this is where Em was two years ago when she left for Anna Island.
Left and never returned.
Well, I’m returning. If I had my way, I’d check into the dorms and start college now.
With another sigh, I push away from the window. I need to move forward with my life, it’s what’s expected. But I don’t deserve it.
I walk from my bedroom, stopping in the doorway of Em’s old room. In the two years she’s been gone, nothing has changed. Like my parents hold out hope she’ll one day return. Which is ludicrous given the fact she goes to school in Italy, plans on opening a restaurant on Anna Island after graduation, and lest we all forget—she’s about to be married.
The favorite child is gone.
I’m not sure why, but I step into her room and look around. Like I think something will be different, but it isn’t. It never is. Her whitewashed desk still sits catty-cornered with a matching dresser and bed. Oversized gray and lavender pillows fill her bed where she used to sit propped up and reading.
A silver-framed photo of the two of us still sits on her bedside table. We’re dressed in our plaid school uniforms, hugging and grinning for the camera. It was taken the last day of her senior year and my sophomore one.
She left for Anna Island soon after.
I think my parents put the picture there to remind us all that’s the last week their favorite child lived here.
I descend the wide arcing stairs and make my way into the living room. Mom recently redecorated, painting the walls a light blue, switching out the leather couches for white fabric ones, and laying down a plush beige area rug over the hardwood floors. New photos hang on the wall beside the bookcase and as always, my eyes drift toward them.
There’s one of Aunt Tilly and my cousin Frederick standing in front of The Pepper House. Another of Grandmother with Tilly and Mom, sitting in front of the Christmas tree two years ago when we visited Anna Island. Dad and Mom on a recent cruise where they saw Em in Italy. Em at a podium giving her valedictorian speech. Em and Cade on a beach. Em re
ceiving an award. And then me, all the way in the bottom corner taken right here in this room as I practice the flute. I hated that flute.
This wall used to be so different. Now I swear it’s a shrine to Em and her new life.
I’m not bitter. I love my sister. I’m happy for her. Heck, I championed her new life.
This shrine, it’s the least I deserve.
Voices from the dining room float in and I glance at the clock. Six on the dot. Time for dinner. I cross through the living room and into the dining room where my parents are already eating. I stop in my tracks. They started without me.
I thought they’d want to eat together being my last night here. I’d hoped. I thought we’d talk about my summer away. They’d caution me on all the rights and wrongs, just like they did before Em left. They’d lecture me on the importance of returning for college, again as they did with Em.
But here they sit, eating as if I’ve already gone.
The freeze-out continues. They're disappointed in me. I get it. Believe me, I hate myself too.
I glance at my usual spot to find it not even sat for me. Regret tightens through my chest and my eyes burn with unshed tears. Bending down, I pretend something is wrong with my sandal. I fiddle with my strap to level my emotions.
When I’m more in control, I stand up and walk over to the table. Mom glances up, surprise evident in her dark blue eyes. Today her shoulder-length blonde hair sits smooth and blown straight from her recent salon visit. She lays her fork down and dabs at the corner of her mouth with a white linen napkin.
She says, “Gwyneth, we didn’t realize you were eating with us. We thought you were packing.”
I hope that’s the truth. I glance over to Dad. With his brown hair combed neat to the side, he gazes back at me through wire-rimmed glasses. Cocking his head, he simply looks at me.
“I’m actually glad you came down,” he says. “I won’t be able to take you to the airport in the morning. I’ve arranged for a car.”
He took Em to the airport two years ago. But he can’t find the time to take me.
“Thanks,” I mumble.
Mom’s phone buzzes and she checks it. With a sigh, she lays her napkin beside her place setting and stands. “Patient. Got to go.” She breezes past me and on a last thought turns and says, “Have a good summer.” Then she’s gone from the dining room and out the door.
No hug goodbye. No kiss. No words of wisdom. Nothing but the polite formality they’ve been punishing me with. I’m used to their stuffy ways, but there’s a polite formality and then there’s an overly polite formality. The latter is all I get from them now.
Dad stands, too. “I have a conference call in five minutes.” He nods to the kitchen door. “Navia’s still here. She’ll make you a plate.” Like Mom, Dad doesn’t hug or kiss me. “Your flight is early. The car will be here at four in the morning. Set your alarm. Let us know when you arrive.” Then he, too, walks away.
I open my mouth to say something, anything. Instead, words lodge in my throat. I memorize every detail of his retreating back as if it’s the last time I’ll ever see him. I don’t know why I feel that way. I’ll see him again at Em’s wedding.
He’s all the way across the house and nearing his office when I finally find my words. “I love you!” They come out fast and loud.
At the doorway to his office, he turns and his brows twitch in confusion. “I love you, too.”
An expected response but also one of dismissal. He has a conference call and that holds precedence. Plus, he’s happy to finally be rid of me.
Yet it’s moments like these where I wish he’d open his arms and I’d run into them. Like it used to be when me and Em were kids. It’s a little girl’s wish, but one I frequently entertain. That show of affection doesn’t happen anymore, with either one of them. I’m lucky if I get a chaste kiss.
He opens his office door and disappears inside. On a last thought, he says, “Oh, by the way, I sent in your tuition payment to that college.”
That college. Code for the only place that would take you with your crappy grades.
“Thanks,” I mumble.
That college. Because unlike Em, I didn’t get into Harvard, Yale, Princeton, and every other Ivy.
Behind me, Navia comes through the kitchen door carrying a tray. “Oh! I thought you were upstairs. I was bringing this up to you.” She sets it on the table. “Want to eat here?”
“Sure.” Pulling out my usual chair, I sit down. Navia places a plate in front of me with meatloaf, steamed broccoli, and new potatoes mashed with garlic butter. It’s such a simple meal but it’s my favorite. I look up at her. Of everyone in this house, she should be the person maddest at me, but she never once has been.
“Thank you,” I say.
She surprises me by sitting down in Mom’s spot. “I have something for you.” From her apron pocket, she pulls out a five-by-eight collage with pictures of me and Em. “I’ve known you two girls since you were babies. Em was always so serious and you were anything but. You each balanced the other. In the two years Em has been gone, you’ve lost your balance. Go find it again.” She taps the picture. “Take this with you. Make new memories. You only have one sister in this world.” She waves her hand around the room. “None of this matters. What matters is you and her and your futures. This day moving forward. Start fresh. Find that joy you’ve been missing.”
Leaning over she gives me a warm and familiar hug, followed by a kiss on the cheek. She taps the collage. “You’ll find one in there of you and Rose, too.”
Rose. Just hearing her name brings on a wave of fresh guilt.
Then Navia gathers the dishes from the table and crosses back into the kitchen.
I slide the collage over, taking in the eight photos chosen. They chronicle our lives, starting when we were just toddlers and ending two years ago when Em left. Me and Em in every picture, smiling, hugging, loving each other.
But the one I focus most on is the one of me and my best friend, Rose. Her with dark hair, me with light. Hugging each other chest-to-chest, our faces smooshed together. She’s got her eyes crossed and I’m sticking out my tongue. I remember this day. It was taken two years ago on my 16th birthday. I got a car from my parents and she was the very first person I took for a drive.
I tear that portion of the collage out. A picture of her is the last thing I want to see.
Chapter 3
LEVI
Early the next morning, Cade takes me on a tour of his and Em’s new place. I didn’t realize he’d bought a place. Makes sense, though. Not like they can live together in Cade’s studio apartment. The Pepper House where I’ll stay sits around the curve of the bay, sharing a beach with all the other homes that circle the water.
With Cade’s success in the art world, I’d expected him to buy a mansion, but I respect the hell out of him for choosing a small subdued home. It spans wide and open with an artistic interior design to include pale hardwood floors, white painted walls, and no furniture that matches. Yet somehow the mismatched items make sense—a yellow leather couch there, a red brick table here, a black washed counter there, a mahogany bookshelf here, a stainless steel sculpture there, a corduroy recliner here, and a kitchen decked out for Em.
I know next to nothing about cooking, but everything looks top-of-the-line.
Cade’s paintings hang on every wall, vibrant and contrasting nicely against the white paint. His home makes me wish I didn’t live out of hotel rooms. I’d bought everyone else a place of their own. Maybe it’s time I invest money in one for me, too. Because the condo I bought in New York City just isn’t doing it for me. It’ll be a good return on investment, though.
The one floor stretches wide and open with no room dividers. Perfect for a couple. In the far left corner sits a king size platform bed and beyond that, the master bath blocked in with glass privacy bricks. Cade’s art studio occupies the far right corner with organized paint tubes, canvases, brushes, and easels.
The entire
home looks out over the bay with floor-to-ceiling and wall-to-wall windows. As I stroll around, taking it all in, I see them here for sure. I come to a stop at a display case with tiny glass figurines that Cade’s mom made. I smile as I remember her.
Em wraps her arms around Cade’s waist and her dark eyes twinkle when she looks at me. “Well, what do you think?”
I grin. “It’s amazing!”
A timer dings and Em pulls away from Cade. “That would be the muffins. You two head out to the deck and I’ll bring out coffee and treats.”
Cade gives her a sweet kiss and I follow him out the sliding glass door onto their deck that overlooks the bay. We sit side-by-side on Adirondack chairs made out of driftwood.
“You’re all grown up,” I joke. “Soon to be a husband.”
Cade laughs. “I know. Crazy, huh?”
“Nah, it fits. You and Em are perfect.” I nod to the house next door. “Not very private, though.”
“We’re going to plant palms as a natural barrier, leading down to the beach and bay. Our neighbors are nice. A little old couple. There’s plenty of room to expand up and out when we want to.”
My brows lift. “Expand? As in a family?”
“Sure. Someday.” Cade points around the curve of the bay where a sprawling white stone B&B sits nestled in manicured green and red shrubbery. Two cottages bracket in the B&B, one on each side and secluded among the palms. A hammock hangs suspended between two trees. I reserved one of the cottages, though I’m not sure which one. “That’s The Pepper House,” he says.
“I remember.”
“Here we go.” Em steps out onto the deck. On the driftwood table between the chairs, she sits a tray with mugs, a French Press, and muffins tucked into a bowl and covered in cloth. She lifts the cloth, holding the bowl toward me, and the sweet smell drifts through my senses. “Blueberry,” she says.
“Yum.” I chose one and don’t even wait on them as I take a huge warm bite. I groan.
Em laughs. “How do you take your coffee?”
Em (The Summer My Life Began Book 1) Page 18