With every foot closer he came, the more certain I was that I couldn’t handle bad news. I didn’t even want to leave this airport if it meant having to acknowledge I’d lost any chance with him forever.
When he finally got to me, he was out of breath. “You’re really here.” He placed his warm hands on my arms. “Why are you crying?”
“Because I’m scared.”
“Why are you scared?”
I panicked. “Because I love you. And I don’t want to lose you again. I don’t know what you’re about to tell me. All I know is I love you, Gavin, even if you love someone else. I’ll never stop. I’ll always love you.”
His eyes glistened as he wrapped his hands around my face. “Raven...do you think I would tell you to get on a plane and come all the way here, just to say I’m in love with someone else? I would never do that to you.” He leaned in and kissed my forehead, and the comfort felt better than anything. “I’m so sorry you were waiting for me. There was an accident tying up traffic. I got here as fast as I could.”
Calm swept over me, the feelings of panic replaced by knowledge that I was safe. It was the most euphoric sensation in the world.
He took a deep breath in and placed his forehead against mine. “I thought maybe we’d have some time to ease into this conversation, but fuck it. Apparently, I need to say this right now.” His warm hands rubbed over my shoulders.
I remained silent as he spoke.
“I’m sorry I went quiet. But I had to. The past several weeks have been some of the most difficult days of my life—not because I wasn’t sure of what I wanted, but because I knew I would have to hurt a good woman who loved me. I couldn’t tell you how I truly felt until I’d handled what I needed to with Paige. But Raven...once I found out the truth about why you left me, there was never any question what I wanted. I never stopped loving you, either. I only suppressed it. Even when I thought you’d chosen to break up with me, I couldn’t stop. I’ve looked for you in every woman I’ve ever met, trying to find that same connection, those emotions I felt when I was with you, but that was never possible, because there’s only one you.”
Our breaths were ragged as he finally kissed me. I thought I might burst with happiness. As our kiss grew deeper, I forgot we were in a crowded airport.
When we finally broke apart, he said, “I just thank God I found out the truth when I did...not after I was married. Because I’m not sure the outcome would have been any different. I couldn’t have ignored it. It wouldn’t have been fair to be with someone else when I’m so deeply in love with you. All these years, not a day went by when I didn’t think about you. But I never imagined I’d see the day you told me you felt the same way. We lost ten years, but I will spend every day of the rest of my life making it up to you.”
I started crying all over again. This is really happening?
He moved back to look at me, seeming just as in awe of this moment as I was. He took my hands in his. “Not long after we started dating, I told you that you’d always have me if you needed me. I meant it. Even back then, I knew there would never be another person who made me feel the way you do. In ten years, it never happened. I wasn’t meant to feel complete with anyone else. I was meant to be with you, Raven. I love you with all of my heart and soul, and I always have.”
It felt like the first time I’d truly exhaled in a decade.
I wiped my eyes. “Am I dreaming?”
“No, baby. This is very real.”
I ran my hands through his hair, appreciating every sensation at the tips of my fingers. I could finally say My Gavin.
I suddenly remembered our surroundings. Wanting to be alone with him, I couldn’t get out of here fast enough.
“Where’s your luggage?” he asked.
Looking around, I admitted, “I can’t find it.”
He smiled. “My little world traveler.”
I laughed for the first time since landing in England.
Gavin managed to locate where my luggage would be coming in.
After a few minutes, I spotted my floral suitcase. “That’s me with the flowers.”
Gavin lifted it off the conveyor belt. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”
***
Gavin’s loft was a former historic warehouse that had been transformed into a sleek city residence. It was right on the Thames River, and more beautiful than I could have imagined.
With triple-height ceilings and original, metal-framed windows, the view was spectacular. The inside featured exposed bricks and chunky wooden ceiling beams.
I looked around and walked over to the window, still somehow expecting to wake up from this dream.
I felt like I’d walked into someone else’s life in a strange land. Part of me knew it was Paige’s life I’d invaded. I was certain the pain of what happened with her was fresher than Gavin was letting on.
What if he ended up regretting this decision? There was still so much up in the air—like the fact that he lived here and I lived in Florida.
Gavin returned from wheeling my suitcase into one of the rooms. Apparently, he could sense the questions swirling in my mind.
He rubbed my arms as he stood behind me. “Talk to me.”
Turning to face him, I asked, “Paige still works with you, right?”
“No.” He sighed. “We agreed on a severance package. She didn’t want to work under me anymore, given the situation. I can’t blame her. She’s understandably very hurt. I’ll tell you everything about how things ended soon. But tonight I just want to enjoy you. I don’t want to think about any of the rest.”
I wished I could turn off all of my questions. “All of this…it just seems…too good to be true.”
“Be specific. The fact that you’re here? Or the fact that I still love you?”
“Everything. I don’t want you to rush into anything you’ll end up regretting. I mean, we’ll have to do long distance. It’s not going to be easy.”
“Nothing that’s worth it ever is,” he said. “If you want to take this slow, that’s okay with me. But I’m going to go on the record saying it’s not necessary for me to test the waters with you.”
I didn’t want to take it slow. I wanted to jump in head first and give him everything I’d been holding all these years.
But had he given this decision the thought it deserved? Maybe the real problem was me, my ingrained fear that I was somehow undeserving of him. Whatever it was, my worried mind could not be tamed.
He held out his hand. “Come here. I want to show you something.”
Gavin led me into his bedroom. The wall behind his bed had the same exposed brick as the rest of the place. Another wall had a large, built-in bookshelf. This room was saturated in his masculine scent.
I sat on the bed and watched as he opened a wooden cigar humidor on his bureau. He took out something small. My heart pounded.
He walked over to me and held out his palm, revealing a tiny sticker. “Do you recognize this?”
I took it. Upon closer inspection, I realized it said Chiquita.
Oh my God. It was the sticker that had fallen off the bananas the day we first met. I distinctly remembered him taking it off me and placing it on the top of his hand. He’d walked away with it, but never in a million years would I have imagined he’d kept it all this time.
“I can’t believe you still have that.”
“The moment we met, you knocked me on my ass. I knew there was something there. I could never bear to part with any piece of you, even this little sticker. And that marked the beginning of never really being able to let you go. You’re not just some girl. You’re the girl. And if I was with anyone else, it was only because I believed I couldn’t have you. I will give you as much time as you need. But I want you. Only you. Not tomorrow—right fucking now, Raven. I don’t need time. I need you back.”
Deep in his eyes, I saw the truth. Did love really need justification? It had nothing to do with stability or distance. It was nonsensical. He’d kept the
sticker. He’d named the robot after me. Through the years, Gavin’s love for me had been unwavering, unchanged by life’s circumstances. It was unconditional, just like my love for him. This was all I needed. I wasn’t going to look back anymore.
CHAPTER THIRTY
* * *
GAVIN
The last month had been hell, but getting to this point made it all worthwhile. I’d really tried hard not to overwhelm Raven with the intense need I was feeling. But I was going to explode if I couldn’t be inside of her tonight.
I knelt at the foot of my bed where she sat and stared into her eyes. I couldn’t believe she was here in London. A decade was gone, but she was still my dream girl. That beautiful long, black hair that framed her porcelain skin. That button nose. Those big, green eyes. That beautiful soul. The girl who always saw me for me. My Raven. Ten years ago, I’d been willing to give up everything. That still held true today. I had given up my life as I knew it for her. And I’d do it again.
She reached for me and ran her fingers through my hair. I always loved when she did that. It made everything right in the world.
Closing my eyes, I relished her touch. I could feel the stress of the past few weeks melting away. As much as I wanted to control this, I had to let her take the lead, because I couldn’t trust myself not to move too fast. Over the years we’d been apart, I’d fantasized about her more than what would be considered normal for an ex. Between this excitement and the fact that I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had sex, my body was way too eager.
She pulled me toward her, and I collapsed against her chest. My dick was so hard it hurt, my need for her painfully obvious.
Pressing my erection against her, I said, “You still want to take it slow?”
“No. Please, I need you.”
Thank fuck.
I inhaled the sweet scent of her skin and kissed along her neck. Her body tensed as I lowered my mouth to her breasts. I hoped she wasn’t feeling self-conscious about her implants. If she only knew how damn much I wanted her right now. It took everything in me not to come just being pressed against her body.
“Can I take your shirt off?”
She hesitated, then whispered, “Yes.”
I lifted it off and unclasped her bra. Her breasts were like two perfectly round globes. While rounder and firmer and different than the way her natural, pear-shaped breasts had hung, they were gorgeous. She was gorgeous. I would have loved every inch of her without breasts at all. I could tell she was uncomfortable from the way her body stiffened again.
“Don’t be nervous. It’s just me.” I looked up at her. “You’re still the most beautiful girl in the world, you know that?”
She smiled down at me.
I placed my mouth on her tattooed nipple and swirled my tongue around it. I wasn’t sure if she could feel it. A surge of emotion filled me as I thought about the step she’d taken to potentially save her own life.
I moved my mouth down her abdomen. With every second, she surrendered to me a little more, relaxing deeper into this. While I wanted to continue my descent and devour her between her legs, I wanted her to come with me inside of her first. So I kissed back up the length of her body, landing at her lips.
I knew she could feel the beat of my heart against her chest. I hoped that proved just how much this meant to me.
“I need you inside of me,” she said.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
“Should I grab a condom?”
“No. I’m on the pill.”
Yes. I’d never had the chance to feel her with no barrier before.
She slipped my shirt over my head and worked to unzip my pants.
I wanted to go easy, but the second my crown touched her opening, I couldn’t resist pushing all the way inside. Her hot pussy enveloping me was almost too much to take. Given how tense she’d seemed a moment ago, I never imagined she’d be this wet. As I began to thrust slowly, I had to close my eyes and try not to explode. Raven circled her hips under me.
Closing my eyes, I found my bearings and fucked her harder, pounding into her, unable to stop myself long enough to worry whether it was too much. At one point, I felt myself about to come, so I stopped abruptly.
“Don’t stop.” She dug her nails into my shoulders.
I gripped her hips to push myself even deeper. But I’d reached my breaking point. My orgasm rocketed through me.
“Fuck,” I growled, pumping faster. “I’m coming.”
Her breathing became ragged as she let herself go right along with me. I felt the muscles of her pussy contract as I unloaded the last of my cum inside her.
We lay together, panting and sated.
“That was intense. Pretty sure I came faster than my first time with you. I felt like I’d waited forever.”
She smiled. “Ten years, to be precise.”
***
After three days holed up with her, I made it my mission to show Raven properly around London. We went all over, from Buckingham Palace to the Royal Observatory. And I also took her to some of my favorite attractions in the South Bank.
I’d wanted to show her my office, but felt that might be uncomfortable for her since many of Paige’s close friends worked there. I didn’t want anyone to give her any funny vibes. So that would be a destination for another trip.
“Thank you for this day,” she said as we arrived back at my place.
“Well, I figured it was time to share you with the world a little, as much as I prefer having you all to myself.”
We collapsed onto the couch, and she rested her head on my chest.
I kissed the top of it. “I wish you could stay longer. I don’t know how I’m going to live without you. Can’t you just never leave?”
“I wish it were that simple.” She lifted her chin to look at me. “But when will we see each other again?”
“We have to figure out a schedule—maybe where I come to the States every other month. Maybe you fly out here in between. I’ll talk to the staffing company so they don’t give you trouble. We’ll make it work. That’s what people do when they need to be together. They just figure it out, because being apart isn’t an option.”
“You know,” she said. “I used to feel sorry for people who were forced to travel a lot, for work or whatever. But the alternative—not getting to see you—is far worse than any amount of travel. I’d go anywhere for you.”
I threaded her fingers through mine. “This is only in the interim, for as long as Dad needs you. I can’t tell you what a relief it is to know you’re watching over him. It’s the only reason I’m able to part with you.”
“You know it’s my pleasure.”
As I looked down at her dainty fingers in mine, I thought about how precious life is.
“What’s on your mind?” she asked.
“The more I think about your surgery, the more grateful I am for your decision. I wouldn’t want to live in a world without you. I know either one of us could die tomorrow, but I can’t imagine finding out you were sick. Or God forbid, if things were different and I’d found out the truth about what my mother did too late—after something happened to you.” I took her hand and kissed it. “I would’ve died. It would’ve killed me.”
“I’m gonna be okay. Although, the mutation I have also greatly increases the risk for ovarian cancer. So my doctors recommend that I have my ovaries taken out, too, as soon as I finish having kids. That’s something else I may have to deal with.”
A rush of panic hit me.
“Oh my God. The color just drained from your face,” she said. “I’m fine, Gavin. I’ll be fine.”
I was sweating. “I can’t fathom the thought of anything happening to you.”
She reached up to gently kiss my cheek. “It probably won’t.”
“What can I do?”
“Nothing.”
“I was thinking maybe I could knock you up, give you lots of babies so you can get your ovaries out.”
She laugh
ed, and I did, too, though I wasn’t really kidding. I’d start a family with her in a heartbeat. I couldn’t wait for that day.
“I think we have a little time, Gav.”
“You think I’m crazy, don’t you?”
“No.” She smiled. “I think you love me.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
* * *
RAVEN
FOUR MONTHS LATER
The past few months had felt like torture. Gavin and I spoke on the phone every night, catching up on everything we’d missed in each other’s lives over the years. But even though we were in constant contact after that whirlwind week in London, every second we were apart thereafter killed me.
Today, butterflies had replaced the frustration, though. As I peered out the window that overlooked the driveway, my body filled with anticipation. Gavin would be arriving any minute for his second visit to Florida since my London trip.
The first time he’d come back here, he was only able to stay a week. This time, he planned to stay a month. I could hardly contain my excitement.
When I spotted the black Mercedes pulling into the driveway, I ran down the stairs. When I opened the front door, Gavin was already out of the car. Without even grabbing his luggage, he ran to me and lifted me in the air. I wrapped my legs around his waist and cried tears of joy.
We became attached at the lips as an evening breeze from the ocean joined us in celebration. Several minutes passed before we came up for air.
“I missed you so fucking much,” he said. “Let’s go upstairs. Now.”
He didn’t put me down, instead flipping me so my back rested in his arms. Leaving his luggage behind, he carried me straight up the stairs to one of the guest bedrooms. Thankfully, Mr. M was with the night nurse, because we were going to be in there for a while.
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