Wilder

by Andrew Simonet

  OK, not drunk. Stoned? Coke? But, I have to say, I liked Stephanie. She was a little ridiculous and a little messed up, but she was trying, you know? Trying to help her friend, trying to talk to me.

  “So who’s this girl?” Stephanie picked up the other beer and took a gulp. “Is she here?”

  “I think she left.” I didn’t want to get too specific.

  “Poor little Jason’s all alone?”

  I loved it when girls flirted. I can’t even tell you. I instantly liked everything about Stephanie. I forgave her uptalk, her tank top, her preppiness. I’m shallow and typical. A girl acting cute and flirty warms me top to bottom.

  And it had been a while.

  I was ridiculously attracted to Meili, of course, more than I’d ever been to anyone. But Meili didn’t flirt, not in a sweet way.

  “There’s this girl, and we connect. We get each other. Completely. I told her things right away that I don’t tell anybody.”

  “What about her?” Stephanie interrupted, shifting into Friend Shrink role.

  “What do you mean?”

  I loved the way she kept flipping her hair. That’s a difference between me and Meili. Meili doesn’t forgive people. If someone’s superficial, they’re superficial. Nothing will ever change her mind. I could forgive anything.

  “Did she tell you stuff? Did she confide in you the same way?”

  Great question. “Eventually, she did. She’s slower, though.”

  “OK, go on.”

  “I’ve never known someone who was so real, so able to say how things actually are.” I hadn’t put that into words, not even to myself.

  Stephanie was impatient. “Yeah, yeah. But…”

  “But what?” I asked.

  “What’s the problem? She’s fabulous and she’s real and you get each other. All sounds great.”

  “Right, but the thing is, she’s … harsh. She doesn’t make things easy. I get the feeling she could turn on you all the sudden.” I wasn’t sure how to say it. “I’m scared of her.” That was honest.

  Stephanie laughed.

  “What?” I said

  “Sorry,” she said, unable to stop giggling. “It’s just funny, looking at this man with a black eye and a broken nose or whatever, big and tough, and he’s scared of a girl.” She called me a man, not a boy. “It’s like, sorry, but you might be the scary one.”

  I put a lot of work into making myself intimidating so people didn’t mess with me. It was a big thing I thought about when I was out in public. Wasn’t that normal? I didn’t want to do it, I had to.

  Someone plunged into the swimming pool. A boy’s head popped up in the water, screaming, “So freakin’ cold!”

  “Ohmygod, that’s totally not allowed,” Stephanie said. “Anyway, what’s your question?” Back to therapist mode.

  What was my question? Maybe it was: Do you wanna hook up, Stephanie? But I’m not that brave. Flirting with a girl felt amazing. Being rejected wouldn’t.

  “My question is,” I said, stalling, watching the kid climb out of the pool, shivering in his boxers. “When do you take a risk and go for it?” I tried to say it suggestively, so Stephanie might apply it to this moment and not to Meili.

  “Bug!” Meili’s voice.

  Stephanie didn’t know my nickname, so she was still looking at me intently, scheming an answer to my question.

  “Bug! Where are you? I’ve been waiting!”

  Maybe that was my answer.

  NINE

  “Over here!” I called out.

  “Is that her?” Stephanie said.

  “No, that’s a friend,” I said, trying to keep possibilities open with Stephanie.

  “Bullshit.” Stephanie was good.

  “Bug! Come back, Bug!”

  “Over here!” I waved to Meili. She finally saw me and walked over in a super straight line, the kind of path drunk people take.

  “Bug, where’ve you been? I ordered that beer ages ago,” Meili said, standing above me. She was a giant, and I could almost see up her skirt. “Hello. Don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Melissa, also known as DJ Esmerelda. The DJ, at least until things went quiet, that was someone else, obviously, and you must be Jennifer.” Meili complained everyone in America was named Jennifer or David.

  “No, I’m Stephanie, nice to meet you.” More handshaking. “I think one of these beers is yours. Sorry, I drank some.” She handed Meili the more full of the two cups.

  “Now, I don’t want to disturb you, because you seem very cozy.” Meili shoved me over with her foot and sat down between me and Stephanie. “And the last thing I want to do is get between Firebug and a Jennifer in a tank top. You do know he’s a firebug, don’t you?”

  “Careful, May,” I said, alluding to her real name. “We don’t want to go sharing secrets, do we?”

  “It’s like that, is it?” Meili took a huge gulp of the beer and turned to Stephanie. “Do not trust this one. Whatever he’s told you, it’s absolute shite. All he cares about is slapping rednecks and getting punched in the face.” She poked at my eye, which hurt. I flinched. “And calling people ‘preppy.’ D’you know what that means, Jen? Preppy? Is it an insult?”

  “Depends how you say it.”

  “Are you a preppy?”

  “Some people might say I am, but, no, I don’t think so.”

  “So what are you then? A redneck?”

  “I’m a relationship counselor, and I’ve been giving girl advice.” Stephanie could stand her ground. Most kids didn’t even try with Meili; they backed away.

  “Girl advice? Really?” Meili looked at me and then Stephanie. “Do share. Lord knows he never talks to me about girls even though I’m his … I was going to say ‘best friend,’ but I think I might be his only friend. Am I? Am I your only friend, Bug? Because that would be rather sad, seeing as how we’ve known each other for about two days.”

  “I have a second friend named Stephanie.”

  “More his therapist than his friend.” Stephanie was quick.

  “Right. So, doctor, who’s this girl? She here?” Meili asked.

  “She was here, and then she left,” Stephanie said carefully. “Right, Jason?”

  “Oh, poor boy! Your little hottie stranded you? So unfair. But you’re not exactly alone, are you, Bug? Look at this gorgeous psychotherapist. Now, professional boundaries likely prohibit vaginal intercourse, but I’m sure there are practices of a more rural nature that could be considered therapeutic. She’s quite cute, isn’t she, Bug?” This embarrassed Stephanie enough that she covered her mouth.

  “She’s very cute, Melissa.”

  “Very cute? That’s a bit strong. Jen, you will want to watch your step. He’s one of those men who end up on the news, and the neighbors say: ‘Yup, we seen thayat cummin’.’” She wasn’t wrong. I would end up in the news, for a minute anyway. On the other hand, she also called me a man. “Lots of danger signs. Obsession with fire, homoerotic love of fighting, thoughts of harming young boys—”

  “OK, Melissa, that’s enough,” I said.

  “You’re right. That is enough,” she said, and I thought she was about to leave. “Thanks so much for stopping by, Jen. Really, really appreciate the counseling. Now, I need to speak with my friend Bug here, so prance on back to the party, ’K? Pool seems to be open, and everyone would love to see you in a sopping-wet tank top. It’s what dreams are made of. Ta!”

  Stephanie, bless her, didn’t get offended. She smiled, stood up, and said quietly, “He’s right about you, you are rough.” She looked at me. “Nice meeting you, Jason. And the answer to your question is: right now.”

  She walked away.

  “Oooh, that’s enticing, isn’t it?” Meili said, laying back on the grass. Our arms touched, and neither of us moved away. “Sorry if I disrupted your seduction, Bug, I need something from you.”

  “What?” I asked, ignoring the rest.

  “My present. Stevie says you brought me a present.” She turned toward me with a f
ake smile.

  “No present, just a note.”

  “What’s it say? Come on, give it a read.”

  I pulled the envelope out and read it to her. She smiled through the whole thing and laughed hard at “pussy pussy.”

  “Fuckin love it. Gimme that note. Jeezus, Bug, I got to say: thank goddess you’re here. I don’t care who you’re beating up or hooking up to, you’re a fucking gem.”

  “It’s hooking up with, not to,” I said, happy my note was a hit. Screw these preppies. They couldn’t write that.

  “Speaking of which, who is she? Who were you talking to that dreadfully skinny girl about?”

  “You don’t want to know.” I was officially scared.

  “No, of course not. But fucking tell me.”

  I took a deep breath.

  Risk it?

  Right now, Stephanie said.

  “Her name’s Melissa.”

  Silence.

  Shit. She doesn’t want to hurt my feelings.

  Finally, she spoke, but quieter. “Fuck you. Who is it really?”

  “Really. We were talking about you.”

  “Don’t mess with me, Bug. I know you weren’t talking about me.”

  “Really? How do you know?”

  “How do I know?” She talked up at the sky. “Oh, let’s see, I’ve got, like, twenty boys in there on my bra strap, while you, on the other hand, have never shown the slightest interest despite numerous—”

  I did it. I kissed her.

  I leaned over and put my mouth on her mouth. She tasted like whiskey and tobacco and her lips were chapped and it was glorious.

  Her eyes got huge, and she whispered, “What are you doing?”

  Fuck it. I just said it. I’d never said anything like it before. “You’re the most incredible, gorgeous person I’ve ever met. I can’t stop thinking about you. Every minute.” I paused and added in a whisper, “Meili.”

  She squinted her eyes closed like she was in pain. “Are you drunk?” she asked.

  “No.”

  “Well, I am. A bit,” she said. “Which gives me permission to do inappropriate things. So say it again.”

  “What?”

  “My name.”

  “Meili,” I said. She winced again, but this time with a smile. “Meili. Meili.” She rolled me over and started kissing my neck furiously, almost biting. “Meili. Beautiful Meili.” She kissed up toward my face then kissed me hard on my bruised cheek. “Ow!”

  “I’m a bit rough. Sorry in advance,” she said. “And don’t stop saying it.”

  I whispered her name twice more before she pushed her tongue into my mouth. I grabbed her hair as she climbed on top, her body warm and heavy. I wanted her whole weight, all of her. It was more than lust, more than wanting sex, which was something I wanted a lot. I wanted her.

  She pulled her mouth away. “Say it.”

  “Meili.” She pulled her shirt up and slid so my face was on her chest. I wondered if I should try to figure out her bra, but she kept sliding up. I was kissing her ribs, her stomach, her belly button.

  She reached down and pulled up her skirt, and in one motion, she straddled my face. She pulled her panties to the side and pushed her crotch onto my mouth.

  Wow.

  I was no expert at this. I tried a couple times with this girl Rachel, and I don’t know if it worked. At a certain point, Rachel would push my head away, and we’d do something else.

  Not Meili. She grabbed my head and started thrusting her crotch back and forth on my face. It hurt my eye and cheek a lot. I didn’t care. When my tongue got to a good spot, she sped up, and I heard her grunting.

  “Shit!” she yelled. Was I doing it wrong? I tried moving faster. “Oh, fuck,” she said, climbing off.

  I heard the whoop of a siren.

  “Fucking coppers. I’m fucked,” Meili said. She was kneeling beside me now. My face stung from the friction and maybe from the fluids we were exchanging.

  Kids were running out the back door past us. I could see the red-and-blue glow of police lights in the trees around the house.

  “I gotta go. I’m fucked,” she said, then finally noticed me. “That was getting good, wasn’t it?”

  I stood up. I needed to get the hell out of here. Any dumb bust could land me back in jail.

  “Shit, my bag’s in there. I gotta get my bag,” Meili said.

  “Leave it. Let’s go. I can’t get arrested.” I tried to pull Meili toward the barn.

  “No, you don’t understand,” she said, leaning her weight away from me. Two people with the same problem, pulling in opposite directions.

  “Don’t be stupid. Just leave it.”

  She snarled, “I can’t!” She broke free and staggered toward the house.

  “I’ll be behind the barn!” I yelled. Meili was drunk-running toward the back door. I saw a flashlight coming around the side of the house, and I sprinted away.

  It happened fast, and it changed everything.

  * * *

  At 4:30 a.m., I arrived home. I had hidden in the woods, holding my breath every time a cop shined a light, until everyone had been driven away in various police cars and vans. Then I had walked down the so, so long gravel road to Kendall, eventually persuading someone at the convenience store to give me a ride to my motorcycle. With my swollen face and odd story, it took a few tries.

  I felt triumphant. Sure, Meili might be in some trouble, but I wasn’t going back to jail. And more important than anything, more important than anything had ever been: I had kissed Meili. And more.

  Maybe she was tipsy, but she meant it. I was wired, and I was turned on.

  And I was hungry. I made two packs of ramen and drank half a two-liter bottle of orange soda. I was finishing the ramen on the couch, trying to remember Meili’s body in detail, when a car roared up.

  The hell? It wasn’t even light yet.

  It was Manny’s Ford. He hustled to the front door, banging quickly and loudly.

  “Hold on,” I said. I put the ramen down, unlatched the several locks.

  “Where’s Melissa?” He pushed past me into the living room. “What happened to you?”

  “She was at a party. I think she got in trouble,” I said. “And some guys picked a fight with me. Before the party.”

  “What do you mean: She got in trouble?” He was furious.

  “We were at a party in Kendall, and the cops came. I tried to get Melissa to run away, but she said she had to get her bag, so she went back inside.” I paused, but Manny expected more. “I hid in the woods, but she never came out. I think they busted the underage kids and took them away.”

  “Took them where?”

  “Probably to the police station in Kendall. Then they call people’s parents to pick them up.” Manny tilted his head back. “It’s not that big a deal. You get a ticket, and you have to pay a fine. It happens a lot in Kendall, the cops are bored, so they—”

  “You have no idea,” Manny said. “It’s a big deal.”

  Maybe she had an arrest record? I said, “I don’t get it. What’s—”

  “Yeah, you don’t get it, do you? I asked you to look after Melissa, and you failed. What were you thinking? She can’t get arrested because her name”—he looked at me cautiously—“her Chinese name, will show up in the public record. And if that happens, we have to disappear.” His eyes darted around the room, finally landing on me. “What were you thinking?!”

  “I didn’t know all that. I’m sorry.”

  “You took her to some wild party?”

  “I didn’t take her there. She went after the DJ thing. I only ended up there cause this other kid was going.” Mostly true, and it made me look better.

  “She has one job! One! She has to stay low. That’s it. And she can’t do it.” He took a deep breath. “We have to get her.”

  “I’m sure the cops called her aunt and uncle. She’s probably home now.”

  “No. Her aunt called me; she doesn’t know. Melissa wouldn’t give
them the phone number.” His eyes darted again. “She’s at least that smart.”

  TEN

  Even completely enraged, Manny drove the speed limit. He stayed perfectly legal on public roads, which, the first time I was in the Tempo, had produced a backup of cars that roared past whenever it was safe to pass, and often when it wasn’t. It was just after 5 a.m., though, orange glow on the horizon, and we had the road to ourselves.

  We drove in silence. I was replaying the party in my head, the moment when the cops arrived. What could I have done?

  “You’ll talk to the police,” Manny said. “I can’t go in there. Say you’re her stepbrother, and your parents sent you to pick her up. Make sure you get a copy of the complaint, we need that. Understand?”

  “Yeah.”

  “If they give you any problems, tell them you need to get ID out of the car and come back out. We’ll think of something else. Don’t give them your real name under any circumstances.”

  “There’s a slight chance they might recognize me.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “There’s a cop in Kendall who definitely knows who I am.”

  “OK, if you see that cop, don’t mention Melissa. Tell him you’re there to pick up someone else, then walk out.” He paused. “That’s step one. Let’s talk about the next two days.” Manny looked straight ahead, and his tone changed. Less angry, more logistical. “I’m putting Melissa at your house for the time being. She can’t go back to her aunt and uncle’s until we clear this up. If we clear this up. She stays with you, and she doesn’t leave the house. Close the shades, don’t tell anyone. Got it?”

  He wasn’t asking if it was OK, he was asking if I understood the rules.

  “Got it.”

  “There’s a lot I have to do, so I won’t be around. I need you to stay with her. Watch her, don’t leave her side. Don’t let anyone in the house except me.”

  “What do I do if someone comes? Call the police?”

  A slight laugh. “No. Police will only cause more problems. Pretend you’re not home and hope they go away.”

  “And if they don’t?” I wanted to know what my job was, what it really was.