by Carol Weston
EYE
FLEE TO ME, REMOTE ELF!
FUN ENUF
GAG
GIG
GNU DUNG
GO HANG A SALAMI, I’M A LASAGNA HOG!
GOLD LOG
HANNAH
HE DID, EH?
HE LIVED AS A DEVIL, EH?
HE WON A TOYOTA NOW, EH?
HOHOHOH
HUH
I DID, DID I?
I’M, ALAS, A SALAMI.
I MOAN, NAOMI!
IN WORDS, ALAS, DROWN I.
I PREFER PI.
KAYAK
KOOK
LEVEL
L’IL
LION IN OIL
LIVE NOT ON EVIL!
LLAMA MALL
LOL
LONELY TYLENOL
MA IS AS SELFLESS AS I AM.
MADAM
MADAM I’M ADAM
MADAM, IN EDEN I’M ADAM.
MA HAS A HAM.
MA’M
MIRROR RIM
MMM
MOM
MUM
MY GYM
M&M
NIAGARA, O ROAR AGAIN!
NOON
NUN
NAME NOW ONE MAN.
NAN
NEIL, AN ALIEN!
NEVER ODD OR EVEN.
NO, IT IS OPPOSITION.
NO MELON, NO LEMON
NO MISS, IT IS SIMON.
NORMA IS AS SELFLESS AS I AM, RON.
NO SIR—AWAY! A PAPAYA WAR IS ON!
NO SIR, PREFER PRISON!
NOT A BANANA BATON!
NOT A TON
NOT SO, BOSTON!
NOW EVE, WE’RE HERE, WE’VE WON.
NOW I WON!
NOW SIR, A WAR IS WON.
NURSES RUN.
OH WHO WAS IT I SAW, OH WHO?
OTTO
PARTY BOOBYTRAP
PEEP
PIP
POP
POOP
POP POP POP
PULL UP
PUP
RACECAR
RADAR
REDDER
REDIVIDER
REFER
REPAPER
REWARD DRAWER
RISE TO VOTE, SIR!
ROTATOR
ROY, AM I MAYOR?
SAGAS
SEES
SENILE FELINES
SH! TOM SEES MOTHS.
SIR, I’M IRIS.
SIS
SOLOS
SO MANY DYNAMOS!
SOME MEN INTERPRET NINE MEMOS.
SOS
SPACE CAPS
STACK CATS
STAR RATS
STAR COMEDY BY DEMOCRATS!
STELLA WON NO WALLETS.
STEP ON NO PETS.
SUE US
TACO CAT
TATTARRATTAT
TOO BAD I HID A BOOT.
TOP SPOT
TOO HOT TO HOOT
TOOT
TOT
TUT
VIV
WAS IT A BAT I SAW?
WAS IT A CAT I SAW?
WAS IT A CAR OR A CAT I SAW?
WONTON? NOT NOW.
WOW
XOX
YAY
YO BANANA BOY!
ZZZ
and
#AMMIT I’M MAD
Oh wait, here’s one more:
AIBOHPHOBIA
It means the irrational fear of palindromes!
Thank you for reading!
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Acknowledgments
Ava fills her diary without even thinking, but me, I work hard on these pages. Fortunately, I have family, friends, and pros who offer ideas and enthusiasm, as well as coffee and chocolate.
I am beyond grateful to my daughters Emme and Lizzi and my husband Rob Ackerman, as well as to Eric, Cynthia, and Marybeth Weston, Linda Richichi, and cousins Matt Bird and Bonnie Beer.
Sam Forman helped me get unstuck, and when I changed Zara’s name, he talked me into changing it back. Maybelle Keyser-Butson and Denver Butson and Kathy and H-A-N-N-A-H Lathen helped me dig deeper. Karolina Ksiazek was there at the start and finish. Dwight Edwards and Linda Jones (Gotham Veterinary Center), Celia Aidinoff, and the Ezells all shared pet care insights. Thanks too to Paula and Cara Raskin, Kiera Little, Suzannah Weiss, Barb Doran, H-A-N-N-A-H Judy, Katherine Dye, and Jennifer Lu, as well as to students at Maret, Clairbourne, John Thomas Dye, Columbus School for Girls, P.S. 183 in Manhattan, and P.S. 15 in Brooklyn, who listened to the first pages. And a high five to Elizabeth Winthrop, who encouraged me early on to let Ava have her way with words.
At lunch in April 2013, I met my wonderful editor, Steve Geck, and we realized that he and I and publicist Derry Wilkens had all adopted our cats from Petco. W-O-W. Turns out book jacket artist Victoria Jamieson also adopted her cat from Petco! Here’s to adoption events and animal shelters and caregivers everywhere.
I also want to thank Heather Moore, Valerie Pierce, Heidi Weiland, Jillian Bergsma, Rachel Gilmer, Sabrina Baskey, Katie Anderson, Elizabeth Boyer, Alex Yeadon, Dominique Raccah, and the whole Sourcebooks Jabberwocky team.
I’m thrilled to be represented by the amazing Susan Ginsburg (and Stacy Testa) of Writers House. And here’s to Middlebury College and the New York Society Library, where I have used prompts to teach writing, and to Ragdale Foundation where I have written and rewritten and rewritten.
Finally, one last shout-out to furry, feisty Mike the Muse, who is affectionate on his own terms and will probably never spend an entire night in one place.
About the Author
Carol Weston lives in Manhattan. Her parents were word nerds in the best way, and Carol kept diaries as a girl. Her first book, Girltalk: All the Stuff Your Sister Never Told You, was published in a dozen languages. Her next twelve books include The Diary of Melanie Martin and three other Melanie Martin novels, as well as her series about Ava Wren. Carol studied French and Spanish comparative literature at Yale, graduating summa cum laude. She has an MA in Spanish from Middlebury. Since 1994, she has been the “Dear Carol” advice columnist at Girls’ Life Magazine, and she has made many YouTube videos in English and Spanish for kids and parents. Carol and her husband, playwright Rob Ackerman, live in Manhattan and have two daughters and an inspiring cat. Find out more at CarolWeston.com.