There was a speculative glint in her eye. “It is clever, very clever. But he is not a strong leader. He cannot negotiate unless his people respect him.”
“He will be respected in his own right when he is older, and begins to make his own decisions. For the moment, he must be guided by a woman. He has been badly advised up to now, but I shall do better. He will be a great leader in time, but through peace, not war. I shall see to that.”
~~~~~
It was many hours before I had a chance to talk to Arran about my proposal. His stricken face followed me from meeting to meeting, and it wasn’t until we returned to our apartment to bathe and change for evening board that we were alone.
He sat down heavily on one of the silk-covered sofas in the dressing room, but he wouldn’t look me in the eye.
“We should talk about it,” I said gently. “Tell me what you think.”
His head came up. “I hardly know what to think.”
“It is a political arrangement, nothing more. I’m sure you understand that.”
“How will it work? Where will you live? Will you be here… or there?”
I shrugged helplessly. “I can’t say yet. There’s so much still to be decided. It will be… different.”
His head drooped a little. “And… what about me? There will be no place for me in this new life of yours.”
I sat down beside him and took both his hands in mine. “There will always be a place for you in my life, always. If you want it.”
“If I want it? You know I do.”
Such an easy opening. I could have smiled and nodded and kissed him, and that would have been that. But that would have been selfish of me. I knew what I had to do, and it was the hardest thing I’d ever done in my life.
“Arran, we must be completely honest with each other. I know you’ve never loved me the way that I love you. You enjoy the life we live, the apartment, the servants, the fine clothes. You enjoy the high rank. No, don’t deny it, it’s the truth. And I’ve been very grateful to you for… well, making me feel as if you were only here for me.”
I paused to catch my breath, for the words were stuck in my throat somehow. Tears began to well up, but I blinked them away.
“But everything is changing now. I don’t know how it’s going to work out, or how you’ll fit into it, and I can’t expect you to just wait around for me. So if you want to be free, I will release you from your contract early, and you can find another drusse-holder, if you want that. There are several of the cousins who would love to have you, and they rank almost as high as I do. The one with the dark hair and pretty blue eyes – you’ve always admired her.”
I was weeping in earnest now. He lifted my chin with one hand. “Is this what you want? To be rid of me?”
“No! No. It’s the last thing I want. But I’d hate you to be tied to me and miserable. More than anything I want you to be happy.”
He wrapped his arms round me, rocking me a little. “Oh, Drina. It is true, I started out that way. Here is honesty for you – it was not even my idea. It was my father who suggested it, when I became your bodyguard. ‘There is an opportunity for you, if you like,’ he told me. And I did like. And… and you have always been generous to me, and… Drina, I am not perfect, I know that. I make mistakes, I do foolish things. I never mean to hurt you, but sometimes… While you have been kindness itself. But I always thought I was heart-free, until you were kidnapped by… by him. I was so afraid for you, nothing else mattered.”
He squeezed me so tight I could hardly breathe.
“And then, when I was out at the border and you were here,” he whispered into my hair, “I missed you so much, it was unbearable. Everything was so empty and lonely and miserable without you, my darling. I realised that… all the fine clothes and the title and living in a fancy apartment… it means nothing without you. If you want to go and live in the wilderness, I would be perfectly happy with that, so long as I can be with you. So no, I have no desire to be free, or to take up with the cousin with the pretty eyes. You are the only woman I want, sweet Drina. I love you so much. Please, please let me stay with you.”
He kissed me with fierce passion, and I so badly wanted to believe it all. He meant every word, I was sure of that, and there was an intensity I’d not seen in him before.
Yet I knew him so well. Even if he loved me truly, he would always admire other women. Admire, and perhaps something more. He couldn’t help himself, and that was something I understood perfectly well.
In the future, perhaps, I would tire of his antics, and his declarations of love would leave me unmoved. But for now, it was enough. More than enough. I leaned into him, and allowed myself a moment of pure happiness.
~~~~~
Ly was released into my custody, and I brought him into my apartment to live. It was as well to begin on the right footing. I found him a room with a large balcony so that he could escape the constricting stone walls when he wanted.
He was still guarded constantly, and Yannassia insisted on his hands, at least, being chained, but I had a special set of manacles made for him, lighter and looser, which opened so that he could take them off at night. He was very passive, and I would almost say he was contented, at least until he was properly introduced to Arran.
They’d met on the journey to Kingswell, but then Ly had mistaken Arran for just another member of my entourage. Now he learned differently.
“Your drusse? I have never understood that concept.”
“Think of him like a husband, only not quite,” I said.
“Ah,” Ly said, his eyes flicking from one to the other. “But how will that work… when I am your husband?”
Good question. “I have no idea yet, but Arran stays with me. That is not negotiable.”
The two men exchanged glances.
“But what about… sleeping arrangements?” Arran said. “And children?”
Ly shuddered. “I will have no more children.”
“I think we are agreed on that,” I said. “If I have children, they will be yours, Arran. As for the… sleeping arrangements, you will have to sort that out amongst yourselves.”
They looked confused, but I just laughed. We had plenty of time.
~~~~~
“It will never work, you know,” Yannassia said to me one sun. “Two men in one apartment? They will either ignore each other or…”
“Or?”
“Or one of them will kill the other.” She shifted position restlessly. She was as large as an ox now, and could never get comfortable.
“It is a very large apartment,” I murmured. “And we will not always be at Kingswell. Sometimes we will be in the Clanlands. I want them used to each other. At ease with each other.”
She shook her head, but she was no longer angry with me. She’d seen the benefits of the arrangement, and the prospect of harvesting the black-bark forest was irresistible.
Another shift of position, then with a sigh she rose, one hand pressed to the small of her back. “I swear, I am never doing this again. Once this child is out, I plan to do what I should have done in the first place, which is to marry Torthran. He can take on a stable of drusse and have as many replicas of his nose as his heart desires.”
I laughed in delight. “And then you will have an even larger array of potential heirs.”
She smiled at me. “Ah, Drina! You never give up! But I have already surrendered. You will stay as Drashonor officially, at least for a while, but you could never be Drashona while married to another leader, and from a hostile neighbour too. The nobles will never agree to it.”
My heart leapt with delight. Finally! “I’d have married him earlier if I’d known that. So I shall be free at last!”
She tutted at me sorrowfully. “Poor Drina. You never wanted it, I know, but look how well you have turned out! You would have been so perfect. Ah well. I shall turn my attentions to Hethryn. It is all for the best, I daresay.”
~~~~~
Kingswell was alive with a
ctivity again. As the population returned, the business of clearing up and repairing the damage began. Fortunately the mages had prevented the fires spreading out of control, so only a few buildings had burned to the ground, and the evacuation had saved many lives. Even so, there had been many deaths, especially on the road to Kingswell, in towns and villages that had not heeded the warnings. But we had had a fortunate escape and the temples were overflowing with gifts of gratitude.
The normal business of Yannassia’s court recommenced, and my hours were full. But when word arrived of more Vahsi movements into Icthari land, I thought of Shallack Gurshmonta. I had never liked him, still less trusted him, and I would never forgive him for working against me when I was war leader.
But I had one reason to be grateful to him. I was certain he had used his influence with the Icthari to ensure that the plot to kill Zandara, Axandor and me would never be repeated. It was an immeasurable relief not to have to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder for an assassin.
I was not so grateful, however, that I wanted him lurking in Kingswell, interfering with everything I did. His profitable Icthari trade had been disrupted, but it was within my power to help him to open up new trade. On the southern Plains of Kallanash, a number of settlements had sprung up since the troubles in the Karningplain. It would be in everyone’s interests to tie them to Bennamore before they had the chance to look elsewhere. A few new trading licences issued, and Shallack Gurshmonta and his private militia would be far, far away.
There was one other person I wanted to be rid of, and that was Arran’s wife. Although it was perfectly legal for him to have a wife, she rankled with me more than I cared to admit. She and her son were a constant reminder of Arran’s deceit in the past, and would be a drain on him for ever more. Even though she was settled with his family at Hexmore, there was a steady stream of messages reporting on the child’s progress and trying to wheedle money from him. And he was too soft-hearted to refuse her.
In the end, I paid her off. To ensure the knot was cut completely, the child came to Kingswell to live with us. He was a lovely little boy, with Arran’s blond hair and nose, and a sweet disposition.
Yannassia rolled her eyes at my increasingly eccentric domestic arrangements, but I just laughed. “He will satisfy my maternal urges until I get round to producing babies of my own,” I told her.
“I suppose nothing you do should surprise me,” she said, shaking her head. “You are your mother’s daughter, in that respect.”
~~~~~
I married Ly on the eighteenth anniversary of my birth. Normally such affairs took a year for all the legal matters to be settled, and then another year to arrange the marriage, but no one was minded to drag things out. Ly was the leader of his people, well able to negotiate the marriage contract, although in fact he agreed to everything we proposed. And he would always be officially a prisoner, so he would never be confirmed by the nobles, and there was no danger of him having equal rank to me. Nor was there a need to allow time for his kin to journey to the wedding, since none were invited.
I stood in the Keep’s largest ceremonial hall beside Ly, with Arran just behind me, as the law scribes went through their rituals and the priests of the Sun and Moon temples bestowed the blessings of their gods on us, although without much enthusiasm. There was little liking for Ly or his clans. Too many people had died because of him.
Ly’s manacles had now been reduced to a symbolic silver bracelet with a loop of slender chain. He was as docile as ever, and although he said little, I thought he was quite content. Once the weather was warmer, we would travel to his clan to have the marriage formally recognised. There was no public ceremony to mark a marriage amongst his people, but it was required to acknowledge the arrangement, so that any children could be properly assigned to their clan.
It took five tedious suns to celebrate the marriage of a Drashonor. By the end of it I was exhausted, tired of the excess of rich food and the smilingly insincere faces of the nobles. Arran, Ly and I returned to our apartment late in the afternoon, with a little snow beginning to fall outside. We retreated to the blue sitting room, where gold-trimmed draperies shut out the winter darkness and fires crackled cheerfully. They were unnecessary, for the Keep was always warm, but I liked the room to be cosy. It reminded me a little of home.
Arran sent for his baby son, and sat on the floor holding him, while I enticed him with wooden toys for the amusement of watching his pudgy arms reaching for them.
Ly watched us from a chair a little way away, a wide smile on his face. He’d filled out a little since his capture, although he would always be thin. He loved to watch us playing with Callon, but he never joined in or sat too close to us. He was self-effacing to a fault.
After a while, when the baby grew restless, I picked him up and rocked him a little. Impulsively I held him out to Ly. “Do you want to hold him?”
His face shone like the moon. “May I?” Then, anxiously to Arran, “You do not mind?” When Arran shook his head, I carefully deposited Callon in Ly’s outstretched arms. He set him down on his knees, and began to sing to him in his own language. I understood the words, but they were mostly nonsense, although with a repetitive rhyme. Callon blew bubbles and cooed at him, and then babbled back in baby talk.
“He likes you,” Arran said softly.
“I like him, too,” Ly said, and when he lifted his face to us, there was a smile of pure happiness across it. “But I must hand him back to you, for I have work to do.”
“Work?” I said.
“Yes. I have obtained some fish that is very like the emperor fish you enjoyed so much, Princess. Tonight I am going to cook it for your evening board, as you call it. Your cooks have shown me how to use the equipment here. And then I shall go to my room, and you will have a nice meal and a pleasant evening together.”
“Ly, you can stay and eat with us. There’s no need for you to go.”
“I think there is. You have not had a quiet moment to yourselves for a long time. I am always here, always underfoot. So tonight, I leave you in peace.”
I passed the baby to Arran, and knelt at Ly’s feet. “Why do you do this, Ly? Scuttle away out of sight, keep to yourself, never ask for anything? Is it your people’s way? Or your way? Or is it the stone walls that drive you away?”
“No, I am beginning to be used to stone all around me. I do not like it, but it is not so frightening now. But I do not know what I should ask for. I need nothing. The gods have smiled on me, truly.”
His acceptance staggered me.
He must have seen the disbelief in my face, for he said, “I mean it. You could have killed me, Princess, there in the cellar beneath the tower. I was no better than an animal, a monster. You should have killed me. But you were merciful. And now – every hour is a gift. The evil in my blood is gone. I can bring healing to my people. I will even be able to watch this baby grow up to be healthy, and untainted. And I am with you, Princess.”
“But you aren’t, not really,” I said softly. “You’re my husband, don’t you want to be with me in that way?”
“Of course,” he whispered. “But you have Arran, and I am pleased for you. You will be happy together, and have many children who will be whole and undamaged, and I will do nothing to interfere. It is my punishment, Princess. I have done great evil, and I must be punished.”
I had nothing to say to that.
Ly cooked his fish, and served it for us, with one of his delicious breads, and some mushrooms, and went away. We ate in silence.
Eventually, Arran pushed his plate away. “That was magnificent, but I cannot eat another mouthful.”
“I’m not sure there’s even a mouthful left on those bones,” I said. “I’m so full.”
“He’s a very good cook.” A long pause. “Drina…”
I waited.
“Do you want children of your own?”
“Yes, eventually. Not yet. It’s too soon, and too much has happened. Every time I think I’
ve reached the last change and my life will surely be more settled, something else turns up. I need time to adjust.”
“Yes.” He looked down at his plate. “I like him, you know. Ly, I mean. What he did tonight – that was a splendid thing to do. And he’s so good with Callon.”
“Yes, he is.”
He picked up a piece of bread and began crumbling it. “I think in time you should – you know – be a wife to him.”
“Do you think so?”
“I do. It would be the right thing to do. I find it amazing, actually, that he is so… so calm about it. I see how he looks at you, I know how much he wants you, but he makes no fuss at all. I find that rather impressive. I would make the most enormous fuss, in his position. And if he did, that would make life very difficult for all of us. He is a remarkable man.”
I had no argument with that. Ly was indeed remarkable. In time he would be a great leader of his people, and be loved and respected for his wisdom. It was my responsibility to guide him to that wisdom, but it seemed to me that he was most of the way there already, now that he was free of the malign influence of his mother and his blood.
He understood, better than I, the wrongness of what his magic had compelled us to do. Now he was giving me the one thing I’d never had before – he was giving me the choice. And I loved him for it.
Eventually I would choose to be a true wife to him. In time, when we were all ready. But there was no rush. We had all the time in the world.
THE END
The Fire Mages' Daughter Page 42