“We were both tired and hungry.” Nick stopped for another red light and looked over at Belle, his handsome face relaxed as he talked about his son. “Exhausting him is my daily goal.”
While Connor continued to chatter away in the back seat and Nick drove on, Belle allowed herself to enjoy the moment and take it all in. Considering this would probably be her last time in Bayside, she wanted to savor it all.
A few minutes later, they pulled up to the curb outside a small restaurant at the far end of Main Street called Piper Cove. She’d not been there since high school, but remembered they had the best chili and hot chocolate in the area. Nick cut the engine then said to Belle, “Hungry?”
Her stomach rumbled and she smiled. “I am.”
“Good. Con, time to eat.”
“Yum!” The kid scurried out of the back seat to wait with Nick on the sidewalk. A thin coating of fresh snow covered everything, highlighting the impending holidays.
When Belle had been little, Aunt Marlene had gone out of her way to ensure each Christmas was special. They’d bake cookies and watch old movies, even make homemade ornaments for the tree. Now that she was alone, this time of year had lost some of its magic.
Most times she purposely stayed too busy to celebrate. Took extra shifts at the clinic to let the doctors with families have the time off so she didn’t sit home alone and feel sad. And, sure, it had been her decision not to turn any of her dates into relationships. Relationships were a luxury she couldn’t afford on her pathway to success.
Weren’t they?
She got out of the truck and went around to where the guys waited.
As they walked inside the busy restaurant, her conversation with Nick continued to swirl through her head. All this time she’d thought Nick had lied to her, but it turned out he’d been trying to do the right thing.
Belle should’ve known better. Nick had always had a strong moral compass, even when things were difficult or painful. He’d probably had been right about her too. She wouldn’t have been able to live with herself if she’d not kept her promise to her parents back then. Even now, her career still made her feel tied her to them. If she’d stayed with Nick after high school, she probably wouldn’t have achieved all she had. That didn’t stop her heart breaking for the lovesick kids they’d once been and the lonely people they were now.
“Welcome to Piper Cove,” the middle-aged hostess said. “Three tonight? Hey, Connor.”
“Hey,” Con said, hiking his thumb toward Belle. “This is Dr. Watson. She used to be my dad’s friend.”
The hostess smiled. “I remember you, Belle, though I doubt you remember me. I’m Mrs. Sweeten. I lived next door to your aunt for a few years. So sad to hear about Marlene.”
“Thank you.” Belle smiled. “And of course I remember you, Mrs. Sweeten. You used to grow the most beautiful roses.”
“Still do,” the hostess said, leading them to a table in the corner. “Can I get you all something to drink?”
“Two hot chocolates for us,” Nick said, gesturing between himself and Connor.
“Make it three.” Belle took off her coat and draped it over the back of the extra chair before sitting across from Nick and Connor. At Nick’s raised brow she laughed. “What? I can drink things other than tea.”
“Uh-huh. What happened to gluten-free and organic?”
“Hey, I’m entitled to be bad sometimes, right?”
“I do believe we’re becoming a bad influence on you, Dr. Watson,” Nick said, his little wink sending inappropriate flutters through her insides.
“Perhaps you are, Dr. Marlowe.” She picked up her menu, studying it far more closely than was necessary, hoping to avoid doing something silly, like swooning in front of the whole restaurant. She wasn’t some teenager anymore. She had an image to uphold. Plus, she’d be gone soon. Best to keep things light and easy, no matter how she might yearn for a real connection. Nick was not the man to help her with that. Not when he was obviously dealing with stuff of his own. She perused the selections, already knowing what she was going to have.
Mrs. Sweeten returned a few moments later with their drinks and took their orders. Three chili and an order of onion rings to split between them all. Not exactly on her list of healthy, low-carb options, but she’d missed the town’s home-cooked delights and it was nearly Christmas. If you couldn’t splurge at the holidays, when could you?
She took a sip of her hot chocolate, closing her eyes in delight as the warm sweetness hit her taste buds, followed by the rich cream of the whipped topping and the burst of the crushed peppermint topping. The flavors reminded her of all the good times she and Nick had spent here together after school. In fact, the first time she’d kissed him in freshman year had been outside this restaurant, in the little garden to the left of the gift shop. He’d tasted of cherries from his cola and sweet desire.
Belle found herself staring at Nick’s mouth now, so firm and full and...
“How’d practice go today, Con?” Nick asked, jarring Belle out of her reverie.
She fiddled with her silverware, doing her best to ignore the heat flowing inside her like honey.
“Okay.” Con leaned to the side and waved to someone behind Belle. “My friend Eric’s over there by the gift shop. Can I say hi to him? Please?”
“Yes. But be back before the food comes,” Nick said, moving his chair forward to let his son get past him. “And no running.”
Con hurried away, leaving Belle and Nick alone once more, the confessions they’d made hanging heavily between them like Santa’s full sleigh.
“Thank you for telling me about Vicki,” Belle said. “It means a lot.”
Nick sighed and nodded. “I tend to keep things bottled up these days. It’s been hard since she died, with me working so much and trying to do my best for Con.”
He looked so forlorn she couldn’t help reaching across the table to place her hand over his. His skin felt warm and soft beneath her touch. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Nick stared down at her hand covering his before pulling away. “I just... She gave up so much to marry me and I feel like I owe her, you know?”
The guilt in his voice was heartrending. “She wouldn’t want you to be miserable, though, would she?”
“I’m not miserable. I’m happy.” Nick looked up at her, his flat tone suggesting the exact opposite. “What’s not to be happy about?”
She took another sip of her hot chocolate. She understood his feelings maybe better than most. “Do you remember after my parents died? How I walked around like a robot for weeks?”
“Yeah.” His shoulders slumped a bit. “I remember.”
“I didn’t eat, wouldn’t sleep. I was desperate to find a way to bring them back. I thought if I was just good enough, smart enough, I could make them see me from heaven and love me enough to return.” She gave a sad snort. “Silly, right?”
“No. Not silly. You were only a kid, Belle. You didn’t know any better.”
“True.” She tapped her fingers against the side of her mug, choosing her words carefully. “But you’re thirty-eight, Nick. I doubt Vicki wanted you to live like a monk for the rest of your life.”
He blinked at her and she held her breath, hoping she hadn’t made things worse. Years had passed, and perhaps she shouldn’t say what was on her mind with him like she had back in high school.
“She told me she wanted me to move on, to find someone else. After an appropriate mourning time, of course. She thought it was so funny to tack that on at the end. Vicki had a great sense of humor.” He sobered. “But she also had a brilliant career lined up after college. She had her whole life ahead of her. She gave it all up because of one stupid mistake with me.” He lowered his head. “I’ve carried the guilt for a long time, Belle. No matter what I do, I never feel like it’s enough. It’s a vicious cycle I don’t know how to break.”
“Hey.” She squeezed his hand and ducked to catch his gaze. “Listen to me. I never met your wife, but if she’s even half as wonderful as you make her sound then she was a great lady. Smart too. Smart, wonderful women make their own choices. Was your wife a pushover?”
“No.” Nick shook his head. “Far from it.”
“Then I doubt you forced her to do anything. She chose to be with you and raise Connor. Single women raise children by themselves all the time these days. If she’d really wanted to go off and pursue her career, she could have.” Belle sat back. “But she chose to marry you instead.”
He watched her closely for a second. “When did you get so wise?”
“I’ve just learned my lessons over the years. Please stop beating yourself up over something you can’t change.” She glanced over to where Connor and his friend were playing arcade games. “You’ve got a wonderful son and a wonderful life here in Bayside. And if the right person comes along, don’t be afraid to include them in it.”
Nick toyed with his mug, then met her gaze once more. “Physician, heal thyself.”
“Exactly.”
He narrowed his gaze. “Goes both ways, you know.”
“What?” She frowned. “I’m fine.”
“Are you?” Nick’s too-perceptive stare made her want to fidget. “I know you miss your parents and Marlene, but I hope you still don’t think you need to chase after a career you don’t love because of some misguided idea you need it to stay close to them.”
Her heart lurched. Yes, she’d had her doubts about the partnership position up for grabs in California, but that was just the usual jitters about the future.
Wasn’t it?
Belle sighed and slumped back in her seat. The tiny hollow niggle of discontent in her stomach gnawed harder. She’d worked so hard to get where she was professionally that she’d never taken the time to step back and decide if it’s really the place she wanted to be. Honestly, something had felt off inside her from the moment Dr. Reyes had dangled the partnership in front of her like a carrot, but she’d been too busy to contemplate if she wanted to accept. Now, getting out of it could prove more troublesome than it was worth. Especially since she had no idea what she’d do if she didn’t take the promotion.
Don’t you?
Sweet little Analia’s face flashed in her mind again before she shook it off.
No. Giving up a certain partnership for an uncertain future would be ludicrous.
Right?
“Don’t be absurd,” she scoffed, as much for Nick as for herself. “I’m a grown woman. I’ve made my decisions based on facts.”
“Sure. Uh-huh. Like the fact you made up about me and Vicki during your residency visit?” He took her hand this time and turned it over, rubbing soft circles on her palm with his thumb. “We’re friends, Belle. But just in case there were any lingering doubts, your parents loved you and would’ve been proud of you no matter what. The same with your aunt Marlene. All any of them ever wanted was for you to be happy.”
“I am happy,” she said, her words emerging about as convincingly as his had earlier. “I have my patients, my work, a lovely apartment.”
“What about friends? Fun?”
“I go out to the movies and walk along the beach and—”
“And here we are, folks,” Mrs. Sweeten said, delivering their food.
Belle snatched her hand back, holding it close to her chest as if she’d been burned. She was happy. She had everything she could possibly want.
Except love.
The voice in her head delivering those words was Aunt Marlene’s and didn’t help in the slightest. She sat back as Mrs. Sweeten placed a steaming bowl of homemade chili in front of her and Nick called Connor back to the table. A platter mounded with onion rings sat in the center of the table. It looked like enough food for six people, let alone the three of them. Then Connor dug into their feast and she realized it might not be enough after all. Nick served up a small plate of onion rings for her and himself then let Con have the rest on the platter.
They ate in silence for a while, Belle savoring her first taste of the delightful chili in almost two decades. So, so good. Thick and hearty, with ground beef and spices and chunks of tomato. And the crispy sweet and salty onion rings were the perfect compliment.
Pure, sinful heaven.
Nick finished first then sipped his cocoa. “The tree lighting ceremony hasn’t changed much since you were last here, Belle. There are still vendor booths and crafts plus the community band plays in the bandstand.”
“Last year one of the booths had elephant ears as big as your head,” Connor said. “Can we get one of those too, Dad? Please?”
“We’ll see, son,” Nick said. “Finish your dinner first.”
She took another bite of chili, her heart squeezing with nostalgia. “Sounds like a lovely evening. Thanks for inviting me along.”
“My pleasure,” Nick’s gaze met hers. “Thanks for accepting.”
She’d given him a lot to think about and he’d helped the seeds of doubt within in her germinate too, darn him. The connection they’d always shared flared brighter than ever. It felt as if the years had fallen away. Time seemed to slow, the noise of the restaurant fading until it was just Belle and Nick and the ache in her heart for the way things were, even though she knew it was impossible to go back.
Your parents loved you and would’ve been proud of you no matter what...
For years, Belle had clung to her one last tie to her parents. It was what had gotten her through med school, residency, finding out Nick had become engaged to someone else. She couldn’t abandon it now, could she? No. It wasn’t that simple. Couldn’t be that simple.
Then Mrs. Sweeten returned to clear their plates and Nick winked at her again, and the world continued on as normal, even as the feeling she’d be losing something precious here in Bayside when she left for good lingered inside Belle.
* * *
Half an hour later they walked down the sidewalk on Main Street through the lightly falling snow, Connor and his friend Eric between them. It was night already—darkness fell quickly in the Michigan winter. The streetlights cast a bright orange glow across the glittering ground.
“Wow. The town looks gorgeous all decorated for Christmas,” Belle said, admiring the twinkling lights in a store’s window display as they passed. “Beautiful.”
“Yeah, it is.” Nick drew in a breath and shuffled his feet.
After their unexpected conversation back in the restaurant, he was still trying to wrap his head around the fact he’d bared his soul to her about Vicki. And while the ache of guilt in his chest still lingered, getting things out in the open seemed to have lessened the burden somehow. If he’d taken the time to think about it beforehand, overanalyzing like he usually did, he’d never have brought it up with Belle. Maybe he’d felt comfortable because of her confession in the car about seeing him with Vicki. Man, those words had knocked him for another loop. He’d had no idea she’d visited, or her mistaken assumptions.
A warning claxon clanged in his head, the common-sense portion of his brain warning him that to take this evening as anything more than casual fun between friends would be beyond stupid. And Nick wasn’t dumb. Not normally. But having Belle back here again, especially at holiday time, when memories crowded every corner, must have made him sentimental. That’s the excuse he was going with anyway.
“Can Eric and I go check out the bandstand, Dad?” Connor asked, nearly bursting at the seams with excitement. “Please?”
“Fine,” Nick said, releasing a little bit of his precious control. “But be careful. And look both ways before you cross the street.”
Connor and Eric raced on ahead, leaving Nick and Belle to stroll on alone. They each carr
ied a refill cup of hot cocoa from Piper Cove and the sweet strains of “Silent Night” drifted from the concert in the park. As they neared the festivities, things got busier and crowds jostled, all heading to the same destination.
Belle stopped a few times to avoid getting bumped and Nick placed his free hand in the small of her back to guide her safely into Bayside Community Park.
“Wow. This looks the same as I remember.” The hint of awe in her voice made him smile. The normally quiet town green was bustling tonight, packed with people awaiting the tree lighting. A huge pine stood in the middle of the square, decorated and waiting for someone to flip the switch. The mayor stood on a small stage in front of the bandstand, trying to entertain the gathered crowds and preparing for her emcee duties.
“Thanks again for inviting me,” Belle said, leaning closer so he could hear. Her heat penetrated the wool of his coat and the sweet scent of flowers and soap tickled his nose.
Nick watched her while she looked at the tree, remembering the last time they’d been here together. Their last Christmas before high-school graduation, the night of their trip up to the dunes. That night had been the first time they’d slept together. They’d both been virgins. He wondered if Belle was remembering the evening too.
“Lots of families in the area now, huh?” She glanced up at him before dodging out of the path of a little girl with long blonde hair running straight for them. He slipped his arm around her waist to steady her, then let Belle go when it started to feel too good.
“Yeah. This event always brings the whole community together.” He didn’t miss the twinge of sadness in her eyes and his own heart tugged in sympathy. Losing Marlene had to be tougher on her than she was letting on, especially at this time of year. A sudden urge to ease that pain welled up inside him, and he shifted his attention to safer territory, the vendor stalls near the side of the park. “They’ve got cinnamon-sugar roasted almonds. Want some?”
“Yum! Sounds good,” she said.
Nick bought a bag for them to share.
“I wonder what color the lights will be this year,” he said as they leaned against the brick wall of Gustaffson’s World Emporium to watch the ceremonies, the building helping to block the biting wind stirring off Lake Michigan.
A Mistletoe Kiss for the Single Dad Page 7