by SL Naeole
Robert and I had spent every day together since the night of the wedding, with him spending most nights lying next to me, innocently holding me while I slept. I had thought that perhaps as time went on, his affections would grow stronger, his kisses more demanding, but everything had seemed to level off for him.
And, though I always felt the incredibly heady rush of blood and fire whenever he would brush his lips gently across mine, there always seemed to be something missing, and I could never place my finger on it; I could tell by the way he was breathing that he was just as affected as I was, but I had come to realize that part of it was due to how I felt. I often took for granted the fact that everything he physically felt, he felt through me. If my reactions to his touch were cataclysmic, his would be as well, although in a much milder sense.
Graham had been distant with me since the night of the wedding, and I understood why. It was difficult for him to watch as Robert and I walked through school, oblivious to most everything else save each other. Although there were no overt displays of affection between the two of us, it was hard to miss how close we were, connected through something other than just something physical, and I knew how that must have felt to Graham, because a couple of months prior, it had been my heart that had been aching.
I wanted to talk to him about our friendship and where it stood in relation to my relationship with Robert, but it seemed that neither of them could deal with my wanting some kind of dialogue with the other. Robert had lamented that until he could control his jealousy, it would be best if I stayed away from Graham, and Graham had insisted that Robert was trying to control me because of the fact that he was jealous. Of course, Robert had been extremely upset that Graham was aware of how he felt, which only further complicated things.
And the one thing that stood at the back of my mind, the thing that worried me the most, was always in my line of sight. Erica hadn't been suspended, but she had been put on probation and received a D on her soliloquy, and that only seemed to fuel whatever form of hatred she felt for me. When Robert and I would arrive to school, especially on that Monday back, she was there. It was as though she had been waiting all weekend at the school to tear my eyes out.
I had been terrified until Lark suddenly appeared, her lips pulled back over her teeth in a nasty snarl, her walking stick folded in her hand. "You will leave Grace alone, or I will make your life a living hell. And believe me when I say this, I can." I knew that the sudden appearance out of nowhere was enough to have startled Erica, but the fierce look in Lark's sightless eyes, and the way her words came out like a growl were what kept Erica from acting on whatever plans she had concocted since that Friday.
However, that did not stop her from making idle threats directed at me to her friends, nor did it keep her from intentionally crashing into me while walking through the hallway. I was constantly on my guard, paranoid that when I least expected it, she'd exact the revenge she seemed to be clinging to with determined desperation.
Being pulled in so many directions, with so many different emotions running through me was draining. So when Halloween finally arrived, I looked forward to dressing up as something else, pretending to be someone else--escape this life for just one day. Stacy had picked Lark up at the Bellegarde house that morning before arriving at mine, costumes in hand.
My Grecian gown was a knee length mass of soft white fabric that draped in the front and hung low in the back. The straps at my shoulders were twisted knots of the same fabric joined with plum-sized medallions that had been embossed with the head of a lion on its face. A ribbon of gold wound and crisscrossed over my abdomen, finally tying in the back. It was the second most beautiful dress I had ever seen in my life.
Unlike that off the rack design that my brother got you, this was made by me. It's a Lark Bellegarde original, and one day, when you have a bit more fashion sense, you'll appreciate it for what it is.
I rolled my eyes, having heard enough of Lark's sarcasm to know better than to get riled up. As Lark wrapped the golden laces around my waist, Stacy was busy trying to turn my hair into a mass of ringlets. "I don't think your hair wants to cooperate. I'll just pin half of it up and leave the rest down."
I shrugged my shoulders, not really caring either way, knowing that the two of them would look decidedly far more beautiful than I would. I felt something wrap around my feet and glanced down. "You didn't make sandals, too?"
Lark's head bobbed up and down as she wrapped golden straps around my calf, "I've been making these for ages. It would seem that the only way that they'll ever be appropriate is with Grecian fashion, so I finally have a legitimate excuse to wear them."
Knowing that for her, "ages" actually meant "ages", I couldn't argue to the contrary. And I also couldn't fault her on her design either, because when I looked in the mirror to assess her skill at costume design, I was amazed. "Lark, this is beautiful." I turned around to see how the back looked and nearly stumbled over in shock. "There's no back!" I gasped.
Rolling her eyes, Lark handed me something from her bag. "Here. Put this on your arm."
I looked at it and marveled at what I saw, glad for the distraction. It was a bronze snake that was coiled just so that it would wrap around the bicep. "What is this for?"
Stacy finished pinning up my hair and then clapped her hands. "You're Athena, the Goddess of wisdom. That's your Erichthonius. Lark said it was very important that you had one. Your shield is in the car."
"And who are you supposed to be?" I questioned, looking at her gown, which was the same length as mine only in an ivory shade rather than white.
"I am Artemis. Lark said that with your intelligence you'd suit well for Athena, but my penchant for fighting, and that fact that I have a twin brother made me the perfect Artemis."
Lark nodded, "Yeah, but your brother--from what I've heard, he's no Apollo, so I think that might disqualify you."
"Oh please. And what qualifies you as Aphrodite? Other than your looks?"
Lark smirked, not caring that she really shouldn't know how beautiful she was due to her blindness. "Is there any other reason necessary? Now come on, let's go before we're late for school."
The three of us stumbled outside, having said quick goodbyes to Dad and Janice who both stared in shock as I left the house for the second time in a dress. As we joked about what the reactions would be when we got to school, I caught sight of someone standing by Stacy's car.
"Graham," I breathed.
Lark's head lifted up and Stacy stopped laughing. "Get off my car, Princess."
He backed away, his hands held up as though Stacy were holding up some kind of weapon. He looked all three of us up and down, a lazy smile on his face. "You ladies look nice."
Stacy made a confused sound, Lark's face lit up, and I felt my heart crack a little. "What's up?" I asked casually, fearful that at any moment, a black Charger or motorcycle would appear and then I'd be stuck in the middle of some ridiculous testosterone driven war.
He laughed, and shrugged his shoulders. "I saw that your owner wasn't here, so I thought I'd stop by to see if you needed a ride. When I got outside, I saw that your friends were here, so I figured it was safe to at least say hi. Hi."
Ignoring the swipe at Robert, I smiled at him. And it felt good. It felt very good. "Hi back."
Graham looked over at Lark and Stacy, and then at me again, and grinned. "Are you guys the three Graces?"
Stacy slapped her forehead, the sound visibly pleasing Graham. "That's who we should have been! The three Graces!"
Lark shook her head. "Nope. We don't meet the personality requirements. Well...you don't, anyway."
Not wanting to have to listen to another argument between the two of them, and not wanting to have it happen right in front of Graham, I quickly changed the subject. "What time is it, Graham," and pointed to his watch.
He glanced at it, "It's a quarter to eight."
"What? We're late! Come on, let's get going guys. Robert expected us fifteen minutes ago,"
I groaned, my voice tinged with nervousness.
Stacy nodded, and fumbled for her keys inside of her bag. Lark, who always sat in front, waited while I said my goodbyes to Graham.
"I guess I'll see you at school," he said, not trying to hide the sadness in his voice.
"I guess."
I watched as he stalked away towards his car, and then I climbed into the backseat of Stacy's. I leaned my head on the window, and wondered when had everything become so difficult. I waved as we passed him getting into his car, but he didn't see me.
The ride to school was quiet. Stacy kept opening her mouth like she was going to say something, but then closed it. Lark didn't speak at all. I just wondered what else could go wrong today.
As we pulled up to the school, I scanned the parking lot for Robert's car. It wasn't there. Neither was his motorcycle. My gaze travelled to Lark's reflection in the rearview mirror. Where is he?
She shrugged her shoulders. I don't know. I haven't seen him since yesterday when he brought you home.
I frowned. He didn't tell you that he was meeting with Sam?
Lark's eyes widened and then narrowed into suspicious slits. No. He knew I'd start in on him about it. But damn him for leaving like this, and without saying anything.
My head jerked at her thoughts. What do you mean, leaving? He said he was meeting with Sam and that he'd be waiting for me here at seven-thirty.
Lark frowned. His meetings always end up with him leaving. Sam has probably taken him on one of his duties. Ugh, that means that we probably won't be seeing him until Monday. She grunted and slouched in her seat, apparently not pleased with the idea.
It was my turn to frown as I realized that this would be the first weekend that Robert would be away. He had spent a few nights away before, but never more than one at a time, and I had discovered that I didn't sleep as well when he was gone. If he was going to be away for three nights, I'd be a complete zombie by the time he came home! I closed my eyes and tried to reassure myself that I was going to be alright.
After parking, the three of us climbed out of the car, our enthusiasm for the day's events thinned a bit, and walked towards the school's entrance. Everyone was in costume. This year's theme had been widely interpreted, as it had been intended. There were people dressed up as actual number threes, while others came as famous trios. Chips, Dip, and Salsa were dressed up as the three stooges, and three of the girls in our class were dressed up as the three witches from Macbeth.
As the bell rang for class, Lark unfolded her walking stick, sighing as she did so. It was a pain for her, to have to pretend that she needed it when I knew she did not, but her obvious impairment necessitated it, and so she begrudgingly started swinging it back and forth as she started walking, waving a nonchalant hand back at us as she did so.
Stacy quickly opened up her trunk and peered in. "Uh-oh. I don't know where your shield is. I think we might have left it at Lark's house. That's okay, though. I think all you have to do is say who you are. It's not like people are going to know you're missing your shield, after all."
I couldn't argue the point with her there. We were the only ones dressed as Goddesses, so I simply nodded and waited as she locked up the car. We headed off to homeroom at a leisurely pace, grateful for the return of Mr. Frey's penchant for sleeping during class. It appeared that his being awake the day of my soliloquy had been a fluke, and there would be no more repeat performances.
The day, as it was, passed slowly for me. I hadn't appreciated the fact that with Robert in school, I had something to look forward to. The classes that we shared together dragged without him there, and the classes that we didn't share made me dread leaving because I knew he wouldn't be outside of the door, waiting for me.
Lunch, as well as third period with Stacy offered a respite from the nagging feeling of loneliness that plagued me throughout the day. I hadn't expected that I would feel so...lost. It was overwhelming. By the time the last bell had rung and it was time to head off to the gym for the homecoming assembly, I was feeling quite depressed.
"Snap out of it, Grace. You act as though he's your life force or something," Stacy quipped as we walked to the gymnasium. "He's probably just taking a skip day and hanging out at the mall or something. Besides, he's just a guy--no offense, Lark--and guys really aren't reliable. I should know. There are five of them in my house."
Lark was silent, her thoughts for me alone. You're not the only one worried. I can't hear him. I can never hear him when he's with Sam. It's one of the reasons why he gets on my nerves.
I frowned, wondering if she felt the same way when it was my thoughts she couldn't hear.
I know why you protect your thoughts, Grace. I don't understand why Sam and Robert are protecting theirs or how they're doing it. Maybe it's because Sam is winged. I don't know. I just know that it irritates me because I don't know, and I like to know everything.
Well, she was right on that account. She did like to know everything. "So when exactly is the prize for best costume supposed to be awarded?" I asked, looking for anything to change the subject...of either conversation.
"Tonight, after the game at the carnival that the boosters are throwing; the announcement is supposed to be made there." Stacy fiddled with her prop bow as we sat down in the bleachers, intentionally trying to distract herself from something.
"What are you doing?" Lark hissed at her as the tip of the bow hit her arm for the third time. I knew that she was more concerned with the damage that her body would do to the bow than the other way around, and the questions that that might bring up, but Stacy made the proper assumption and put the bow on the floor.
"Sorry. I just don't want Sean to see me."
Sean was Stacy's twin, and older brother by two minutes. Those two minutes meant a lot in Stacy's family, because that left the role of the baby of the family to fall on the shoulders of the only girl, and the five brothers were very protective of their baby sister. "He's already told me that he's telling Mom when we get home, so I don't care what you two say, I'm not going home until after we win the prize money."
Lark's sightless eyes glared across the court at someone sitting high up atop of the bleachers. His face looked similar to Stacy's; his jaw was square, and his forehead was slightly wider, but they shared the same honest eyes, and the same sarcastic twist to their lips. I watched as the perturbed look on his face suddenly changed to one of...apprehension?
What are you doing to him? I could tell by the way Lark was smirking that she was up to something.
I'm showing Sean just what will await him if he tells his mom about Stacy's costume.
I gasped. Isn't that kind of against the law?
Lark turned her head towards me, her expression one of annoyance. Look, I'm an angel in form and function, but I'm not one in behavior, okay? And no, it isn't against the law. It's me trying to save our friend here a little trouble from her parents that she doesn't need.
Suddenly Lark's head turned, her focus right back on Sean. Her brows furrowed in confusion, her eyes widening and narrowing as thoughts that were obviously troubling ran through her mind...and then her mouth opened, shocked. She turned to look at Stacy, who could have been my reflection, our faces both concerned for her strange behavior.
"Why didn't you tell us that you used to have cancer?" Lark blurted.
Stacy's face showed her surprise and also the pain of a silent betrayal. She turned to look at her brother, and whispered, "Who told you? I've never said anything to anyone. I don't even think about it now. Only my family knows..." Her head whipped back to Lark. "How did you find out?"
Lark's lip trembled, and I could see her struggle, the flash of pain in her eyes as she fought the truth from coming out. She stood up, and with methodical steps, slowly left the two of us in the gym, her stick mindlessly waving back and forth with no purpose whatsoever. Stacy grabbed her bow and rushed after her while I followed.
Lark, where are you going? I sent my question out to her, hoping that she'
d answer it, but I couldn't hear her response. Stacy and I both stopped in the parking lot, neither of us knowing where Lark could have gone off to.
"Where did she go?" Stacy turned to face me, her eyes full of tears. "I don't understand. Why did she leave? How did she find out, Grace? Did you know?"
I looked in her eyes, and I couldn't say anything. The truth was not mine to tell. Stacy's secret hadn't been Lark's to tell either. I just didn't know what the consequences were for Lark if she couldn't tell Stacy the truth.
I watched as Stacy's head perked up, her brow furrowing with concentration, and then she started walking away from the parking lot. "Stacy?" I called out, but she kept walking. "Stacy where are you go-" She raised her hand up to silence me as she stopped, her head dipping down a bit before straightening, and then she turned, heading towards the baseball diamond towards the back of the school. I followed her, trying to match her pace, but failing pretty miserably. She was in great shape, while I felt like a sack of potatoes.
We kept walking, Stacy much further ahead of me than she had been when she took off, until we reached third base. I was panting, while Stacy seemed irate. "Wh-why are w-w-we h-here?" I wheezed, the air not wanting to cooperate with my lungs to get the words out with the appropriate amount of syllables.
Stacy looked at me as though she hadn't realized that I had been following her. "I heard Lark's voice. She kept saying to come to the baseball field. Then she said third base--go to third base."
"Maybe she's talking about with a guy," I joked, not knowing what else to say because I knew what was coming. I just didn't think it'd be today.