by Ward Wagher
There was no noisy rattle of wooden wheels across cobblestones. The carriage moved smoothly, with a quiet hum. He saw the woman turning a wheel in front of her, and it seemed to him that she was using it like a tiller on a canal boat. When she turned the wheel, the direction of the carriage changed. What a marvelous device. The wonder almost made him forget his terror.
He turned to the man sitting next to him. „Wo sind die Pferde?“ (Where are the horses?)
The man gave him a blank look and just shook his head.
„Wo bringen Sie mich hin?“ (Where are you taking me?)
“I am sorry, friend, but I have no idea what you are saying. I wish you could understand me.”
“Ed Forsenn is going to have a lot to answer for,” Sally said. “I cannot believe he activated the machine after you warned him to wait. After what happened the last time I would think he would stop and think about what he was doing.”
“He was not being malicious, Darling.”
“I know,” she replied. “As usual, he was being an idiot. And we have this poor man, who is now our guest.”
“Talk about a can of worms”
„Worms? Bin ich in der Stadt Worms?“ (Worms? Am I in the city of Worms?
Quintan Rogers looked at the unintended guest and raised his hands in frustration. Whenever Edgar Forsenn took it upon himself to push a project, things always seemed to spin out of control. However, this far exceeded his previous disasters.
CHAPTER TWO
The carriage moved along the road at an insane pace. It was as if the horses were pelting at full speed. Nobody drove their horses that hard. But, of course, there were no horses attached to this carriage. Instead of swaying wildly, the carriage moved smoothly and steadily. The German had seen millers and sawyers manage their shops with water wheels, but he could not see what propelled this device. He studied the interior of the carriage. It was dark, but there was enough ambient light for him to see some of the details. The artistry was executed perfectly, but devoid of ornamentation. And in front of the woman were a series of what looked like clock faces, and even had numbers on them, but he could not ascertain their purpose. And they glowed – an unearthly eldritch glow like foxfire or fairy lights.
The woman guided the carriage along the road for several minutes, and then they rolled up to a gate set in a tall fence. He could not think of the woman as other than a coachman, even though there were no horses to drive. As the carriage slowed, the gate slid open of its own accord. Another marvelous sight.
“Vorsicht!” he muttered, shaking his head.
The woman guided the carriage through the gate, and they accelerated again. The German turned around in his seat to look out the back window of the carriage to see the gate sliding closed again. He turned to the side window and studied it. He raised an arm and tapped on the window with the back of his hand. The ring on his fourth finger rang sharply against the glass.
„Krystall? Was ist los?“ (Glass? What is this?)
“That’s glass,” the man said.
The German shook his head. Window glass, as he was used to, was formed in small diamond-shaped pieces, and set into elaborate window frames. Even then the glass was wavy and somewhat murky. This was so transparent as to look invisible. This was yet another wondrous thing.
“What are we going to do, Quint?” Sally asked, suddenly.
“With our friend here?” he replied.
“No. The paladin.” Her sarcasm was light but pointed. “Of course our friend. Has Ed given any thought to reversing the machine, if he was successful – as he obviously was.”
“Not that I heard.”
“Then this poor man may be stranded here.”
Quintan shook his head. “I really did not want to think about that, Precious, but you are right.”
“What an awful thing to do.”
“I completely agree. It is horrifying.”
“I cannot imagine minding my own business and suddenly arriving Lord knows where,” she said. “The poor man must be terrified.”
The ground car rolled up to the parking lot for the Urbana Quantum Physics Laboratory. The building and grounds were well lighted throughout the night hours. The lab building itself was a low structure designed to fit in with the landscaping. She swung the vehicle into a marked parking place. Both quickly exited the car, and the German looked around wildly.
„Was jetzt?“ (Now what?) he asked, out loud.
A moment later the door opened, and the man was standing outside. He snapped open a large umbrella and made a come here motion with his hand. The German climbed out and looked up at the umbrella.
„Ein Regenschirm, danke Ihnen. Wo gehen wir hin?“ (Umbrella. I thank you. Where are we going?)
Sally sprinted to the door of the lab, and placed her index finger into a socket. The equipment took a whiff of her DNA, looked at the finger-print, and the door slid open. Once Quint and the German stepped in, the door slid shut. The German physically jumped, when the door moved. Sally turned, and place her finger in the socket on the other wall. Momentarily, the inner door slid open.
He watched the door slide open and was startled when the first door slid shut. Between the shock of his arrival, and the things he had seen, the German man was losing his capacity for surprise, though this was yet another amazing thing. The woman stepped into the brightly lit building, and he followed. He stopped and turned around looking at the surroundings. It was pleasantly warm, which was a nice change. He was growing used to the lighting but still could not figure out its source. The floor resembled the polished granite of the Elector’s palace, but was different, somehow.
„Na gut. Ich muss eine Aufklärung verlangen. Wo haben sie mich hingebracht? Was ist passiert? Ich glaube nicht, dass Sie Dämonen sind, aber das hier ist sehr seltsam.“ (Very well, I must insist. Where have you taken me? What has happened? I do not believe you are demons, but this is very strange.)
Quintan turned to the German. “I am sorry,” he spoke loudly, “but I cannot understand you.”
“Quint, he is not going to understand you when you speak louder. It is another language.”
The man shook his head in frustration. “Oh, I know. I just do not see any good ending to this adventure.”
„Was haben Sie gesagt?“ (What did you say?)
Quintan looked at the German, and raised both hands, palm up, in frustration. “Sorry.”
“Come on,” Sally said, “Let us get to the lab.”
She started walking quickly down the hallway. Quintan grasped the German’s arm, and tried to start walking, but the German did not move.
„Ich weigere mich einen weiteren Schritt zu machen, bevor ich keine Erklärung für diesen Wahnsinn hier bekomme. Das ist eine Zumutung. Das müssen Sie doch begreifen.“ (I refuse to take another step until I receive an explanation for this madness. This is beyond unreasonable. Surely, you must recognize this fact.)
Quint stopped. “What did he say, Sally?”
“How would I know? Come on.”
“He won’t move.”
She stood further down the hall, facing them with her hands on her hips. The German noticed for the first time she was wearing trousers. Her slim form was clearly outlined by the clothing. He shook his head in disbelief. He didn’t think she was that kind of woman, but the man was dressed strangely as well.
She waved her arm at him. “Come!”
„Kommt?“ He thought he recognized that word.
“Yes, yes. Come here.”
He finally shrugged and began trudging down the hall towards the strange woman, his heels tapping on the floor. She turned again and walked at a fast pace further down the hall. A few moments later she stopped in front of another area he perceived as another of those sliding doors. Again, it slid open.
He started to follow the woman into the room beyond the door and stopped halfway in. The woman tried to tug him into the room, but he stood frozen in the doorway. Here were many more wonders. His eyes could not resolve the shapes
. As he scanned the room his vision was assaulted by lights and square lighted panels with script dancing on them. The air smelled like a summer thunderstorm. Behind him, some kind of a raucous instrument began blaring a single off-key note.
“Get him into the room, Quint, and shut off the door alarm.”
“Come on, Sir,” the man said.
The German swung his head back and forth, then stepped into the room. The door immediately slid shut, and the horn halted.
„Was ein schreckliches Geräusch. Was für ein Ort ist das hier?“ (What an awful noise. What is this place now?)
Another man quickly walked into view. “Can you stop with the racket? How is a body to get any work done? And who is he?”
“Suppose you tell us who he is, Edgar,” Quint said. “You activated the machine, didn’t you?”
“How did you know that?”
“Ed, take a close look. Where do you think he came from?” Sally snapped, pointing to the German.
Edgar Forsenn, the lead scientist on the Paladin’s Quantum Tunneling project, stared at the German, and gradually his mouth dropped open.
CHAPTER THREE
“Where... where did you find him?” The scientist was maybe six feet tall and was dressed in tattered slacks, and a filthy wrinkled shirt. He was balding, but his remaining hair was uncut and waved wildly around his head. He pointed to the German in shock.
“We found him lying in the road. Partway up the hill from the highway. It was on lab property, thank the saints.”
Forsenn was shaking his head slowly back and forth as he continued pointing at the German. “It cannot be. The experiment shouldn’t have done that. The equipment is not powerful enough to throw that much mass that far. It’s got to be something else.”
He turned away muttering, and stepped back to his equipment and started typing madly on a keyboard.
„Was ist los?“ the German asked.
Sally turned to him. “I wish we understood you.”
„Ich muss auf Toilette!“ (I must use the fresher)
“What did he say?” Quintan asked.
“How should I know, Quint?” she asked.
The German swung his head as he looked around. „Es wird immer dringender für mich meine Bedürfnisse zu erfüllen.“ (It is becoming quite necessary for me to take care of my needs.)
“He is getting agitated, Sally,” Quintan said.
“Hey, could you hold it down over there,” Forsenn yelled. “I have problems too.”
Quintan stomped over to the other scientist. “Ed, I am about this far from putting your head through the display panel. You had better start thinking about the consequences of your action. You have ripped that poor man from who-knows-where, and you are worried about your stupid calculations!”
Forsenn glared back at Quintan. “Yes? Well, if we do not nail down the problems with the tunneling machine, that poor man is stuck here. I am as concerned about him as you. And I am doing something about it.”
Quintan raised his arms in the air and turned around to look helplessly at Sally.
„Mir wird gleich ein Missgeschick passieren.“ (I am about to have an accident). He then reached down and grabbed at his crotch, and pulled his legs together.
“He has got to visit the fresher, Quint,” Sally said. “You are going to have to show him. I suspect there is not a lot of time.”
“Right.” He walked quickly over to the German and took his arm. “This way, friend.”
He quickly pulled the German out of the lab, and the doors closed again. Sally walked over to Forsenn.
“I hope you realize you are in a lot of trouble, Edgar.”
“Do I not just know it,” he replied. “It is a wonder I did not transform the whole apparatus into slag. Or, melt that poor man into a puddle.”
“That is not what I meant. You have pulled someone into this against his will. How many of his basic rights have you violated?”
Forsenn turned pale. He stopped typing and stared at Sally. Then he took a deep breath. “I did not think about that. I just destroyed my career, did I not?”
She shrugged. “Who knows? But you are certainly facing an inquiry. This is a pet project for the paladin. What do you want to bet he will be here to participate in the investigation?”
“Sally, I do not need to hear this right now.”
“None of us do, Edgar. But, compared to the director and the paladin, what Quint and I are giving you will feel like love taps.”
With the German in tow, Quintan slammed into the men’s fresher. The bright, white lighting blinked on as they stepped in. Fortunately it was just down the hall from Forsenn’s lab.
“Probably a good idea you had to go,” Quintan said. “I have to go, myself.”
He walked the German over to the urinals. “Here is the procedure,” he said, as he stepped up to the urinal and unsealed his trousers. “Just aim, and spritz, old boy.”
The German stared at the fixtures and then nodded in comprehension. He turned around and backed up to the urinal, and started to pull down his trousers.
“No! Wait!” Quintan said.
He rapidly re-sealed and guided the German into one of the stalls. “Here you go. Sorry about that.”
The poor man nodded, and finished pulling down his pants, and sat down. The ensuing sounds were immediate.
“Not a moment too soon, I guess,” Quintan said. “One other thing...”
He reached in and pulled tissue off the roll and mimed wiping himself. “Like this, see?”
„Ja, ja. Ich verstehe. Dankeschön.“ (Yes, yes, I understand. Thank you very much.) the German said, with obvious relief.
“Okay, then, let me take care of my business.”
Quintan stepped uncomfortably back over to the urinal. The current culture avoided direct references to bodily functions. People didn’t even use euphemisms, they simply excused themselves from whatever they were doing, to visit the freshers. Men never spoke to one another in the public freshers. They maintained an invisible wall of privacy about them as they came and went. Quintan was glad no one else was in the room at this time. At least that embarrassment was avoided.
He heard the bowl flush, so stepped over to where the German was pulling up his trousers, and staring at the fixture.
„Ein weiteres fabelhaftes Gerät. Der Dreck verschwindet einfach. Und das Papier ist auch so weich. Welch wunderbare Dinge Sie hier haben.“ (Another marvelous device. The muck just disappears. And the paper is so soft, too. What wondrous things you have here.)
“I suspect you will be seeing a lot more, Friend. I wish I knew your name. Wait a minute.” He pointed to himself. “Quintan.”
The German tilted his head, then pointed to himself. “Johann.”
“Very well, Johann, step over here.” He motioned the other man to the appliances lining the wall under a mirror.
The German stepped over to gaze at the mirror. He had seen small mirrors before – his wife had one. But never this large, or clear. It covered the entire wall.
“Put your hands here,” Quintan said. “Here, let me show you.”
Quintan placed his hands through the flexible gates into the sanitizer. In about ten seconds, his hands were sprayed with an antiseptic detergent, stroked with sponges, dried with a blast of air, and then sprayed again with a light lotion. He pulled his hands out, rubbed them together, and then motioned to Johann.
The German studied the box, then eased his hands into the device. His eyes opened wide as it began operating. He started to pull them out, but looked at Quintan, and grimaced, holding his hands in, as it operated. When it stopped, he slid his hands out and looked at them on both sides. He held a hand up to his nose and sniffed.
„Hmmm. Das riecht gut.“ (Hmmm. Smells good.)
Quintan chuckled. “Yes, I guess it is. Whatever you just said. I suppose we had better get back to the others.”
Johann followed Quintann back down the hall to the lab, where they found Sally and Edgar Forsenn bent over a d
isplay screen, and arguing. Sally looked up.
“Everything okay, Quint?”
“Yes. The... interruption was necessary. We are fine.”
“Good.”
“And his name is Johann.”
The German looked at the other two. „Ich heiße Johann.“ (My name is Johann.)
Forsenn stared at the German for a few moments, then collapsed into a chair and buried his face in his hands. “My God, what have I done?”
Sally turned to Johann and pointed to herself. “I am Sally.” She pointed to Forsenn. “Edgar.”
She stepped over to the side of the lab and rolled a chair across to where the German stood. He studied the chair and rolled it back and forth slightly on its casters. He then looked over at where Edgar sat hunched in his chair. Johann carefully eased himself down into the chair with a sigh.
He looked surprised when he stretched out and the chair rolled. He chuckled as he used his feet to move the chair. His wife had sewn a cushion for his chair at the church. Sitting was often painful for him, the cushion helped. This chair also had a cushion. It was both softer and more supportive than what he was used to.
He remembered one time he had been left alone in the reception hall of a nobleman, awaiting an audience. In a moment of insane boldness, he had climbed into the throne out curiosity. It was lumpy and not even as comfortable as his wife’s cushion. Now he sat in a room with people who dressed like commoners but were wealthier than nobility. What was this place?
CHAPTER FOUR
Arnold Gingery awakened in a sweat. “What is the matter with that accursed enviro system?”
His wife Gail stepped from the fresher into the bedroom in her underwear and a sheen of sweat. “It was down to about fifty degrees in here during the night. I trust you are going to have it repaired.”
“I do not know if we need to repair it, or perform an exorcism on the thing,” he said. “It must be possessed. I will put in a repair request as soon as I get dressed. You will need to be here when the repair tech arrives.”
She quickly put on a set of casual clothes. “I refuse to stay in this house for a moment longer than necessary. I am going to Mother’s. You can comm me when the thing is fixed.”