“Milk.” Rance and Jayda’s answers blended as one.
“I’ll be right back.” She stood. Put one foot in front of the other. Noodle legs.
And so it began. Sharing her little girl with Rance. Why did she feel she was losing something? Her daughter? Or her heart? Maybe both.
* * *
Rance stepped onto Larae’s porch the next morning and rang the bell, then impatiently tapped his boot, eager to see Jayda.
The door swung open to reveal Larae. Her smile turned upside down at the sight of him.
“You can’t just barge in any time you feel like it. You need to call first.”
“To see my own daughter?” Irony coated his tone. “The one you didn’t tell about me until yesterday. And you probably never would have told me if she hadn’t enlightened me on how old she is.”
“You’re the one who broke things off with me.”
He hung his head, closed his eyes. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“She doesn’t need to hear us arguing.”
“We need to get along for her sake.” He pushed his frustration down. “I’ll call next time. Or maybe we can set up a schedule. But I did sort of do that. Y’all are supposed to go to church with me.”
“Oh, I forgot all about that.” Her hands went to her hair, but her eyes belied her words. “There’s no way I can get ready fast enough.”
“We’ve got an hour. I came early in case you tried to back out.”
“I haven’t even fixed Jayda’s breakfast yet.”
“I can do that. Go get ready.”
“You? Cook?”
“I’ve lived on my own a long time. I have to eat. Go on. I got this.”
“Maybe we should just try for next week.” She grabbed the doorknob, obviously prepared to shut the door in his face.
“Daddy!”
Mush. His being turned to mush as Jayda rushed under Larae’s elbow and hurled herself into him. No words would form as he pried her arms loose enough to allow him to kneel and hug her back. He could stay in this moment forever.
Then Jayda got fidgety and tugged away from him. “Look at the dress I’m wearing to church.” Pink fluff with a poofy skirt. She twirled, and her skirt billowed even more. “Mommy told me to take it off ’cause we’re not going. But I told her you promised and you’d be here.”
Rance’s gaze swung to Larae’s.
“I didn’t think you’d remember.” She looked away.
“Well, let me just set you both straight right now. If I say I’m doing something, I do it. Especially where Jayda’s concerned.”
“I hope so,” Larae mumbled.
“No hoping about it.”
“Daddy, why are you crying?” Jayda’s small fingers touched his cheek.
He hadn’t even realized. He caught her tiny hand. “Happy tears, Baby Girl. I’m happy to be your daddy and that we both know it.”
“Me, too. I’m happy to be your Baby Girl.”
“Let’s eat some breakfast while Mommy gets ready.” He scooped her up and stood as she giggled.
“Actually, Jayda, why don’t you run on into the kitchen and get a couple of skillets out? I need to talk to Rance a minute.”
“Okay, Mommy.”
Regretfully Rance set Jayda down. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
She scurried for the kitchen.
“What about your parents?”
“I told them I hoped you and Jayda are coming to church with me and for lunch at their house afterward. If you’ll agree, I figure we can clue them in then.”
“You committed us to lunch? Without asking me?”
“I said I hoped and if you agree. But it’s high time they know the truth. I’ve kept it from them long enough.”
“You’ve only known for a week, Rance. Less than a week.”
“Seven years, Larae. Seven long years.”
She propped her hands on her hips. “Well, maybe if you hadn’t moved on to the next rich girl in line, I’d have told you about her.”
“You got me there.” But she could never know why. Why did he keep losing his temper, snapping at her at every turn, when he was just as much to blame for all of this? He had to put a leash on his frustration.
She rolled her eyes. “In the future, will you please ask before planning my day?”
“I will. So should I tell them lunch is on?”
“Yes.”
“Now go get ready.”
“Wait. What if Jayda announces to everyone at church that you’re her daddy. Including your parents.”
“I’ll talk to her while I cook. Tell her it’s a surprise for my parents for after church and no one else needs to know before they do. Is she good at keeping a secret? As good as her mother?” He shot her a wink.
Her gaze narrowed. “I thought we were trying to get along and not accuse each other.”
“I was teasing.” He let out a big breath. “I’ll work on my humor.”
“Jayda is a good secret keeper.”
“Okay, I’ll handle it. Go get ready. If you hurry, you might have time to eat breakfast, too.”
She hesitated, obviously not wanting to leave him alone with Jayda.
“I’m her father. I won’t do anything to hurt her. Ever. Stop worrying.” He gripped her shoulders gently and turned her toward the stairs. “Now git.”
She swung back to face him with a mixture of storm and fear in her eyes. “Just know, if you hurt her, I’ll hurt you.” She whirled away and stalked toward the stairs.
He believed her. All five foot three and maybe a hundred and ten pounds of her. In mama bear mode. And way too cute for her own good. Way too much for his Larae-fixated heart.
But he could only build a relationship with Jayda. Not Larae. He’d practically admitted to her yesterday that he was still pining for her by saying he wished he’d married her. In the future, he’d have to guard his heart better. And his words. Even though her dad was gone, no one else would ever accuse him of being after anyone’s money ever again. Best to steer clear of Larae and her trust fund.
And she’d kept Jayda from him for seven years. Despite the circumstances, he resented the years he’d lost.
His focus could only be on Jayda. And the rodeo. If he could help Larae make the rodeo a success, maybe she’d stay in Medina. That would keep Jayda close.
Chapter Nine
Larae had never felt this self-conscious in her entire life. Walking into church with Rance and Jayda. Like a family. Her insides shook. Would people figure out her secret? Or just assume they were dating?
Long white pews with blue padded seats lined the navy carpet. White walls, bright lighting, frosted windows. A piano and a pulpit graced the stage.
Only smiles greeted them. Maybe a bit of curiosity in the eyes of those who shook her hand, introduced themselves and said they were glad she was here. But no suspicion or judgment.
“Larae.” Stacia hurried over and gave her a hug. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
Instantly Larae felt less uneasy. “I can’t even tell you how happy I am to see you.”
“Come sit with us.” Stacia motioned to where her dad, Maverick, sat with the twins. “I’ve managed to teach the twins to be still and quiet, but I can’t seem to conquer the sticky. I can’t promise you won’t get something on you, just by being close to us.”
“We’ll see if Dad wants to move back a pew.” Rance looked around for his dad.
“I’ll save seats, just in case.” Stacia gave Larae another hug before returning to her seat.
“It’s so pretty, and everyone’s so nice,” Jayda whispered.
“No Delia Rhineharts here.” Rance gave Larae a confident grin.
“Who?” Jayda frowned up at him.
“Nobody, sweetie.” Larae patted her hand. “Just so
me lady I used to know.”
“I’m not saying anybody here is perfect. We’re all a bunch of sinners saved by grace. But they’re good folks.”
“What’s a sinner? And what’s grace?” Jayda scrunched her eyebrows together.
“A sinner is somebody who does something wrong.” Rance explained.
“Like what?”
What if Rance believed differently than Larae did?
“Well, the Bible says to honor your father and mother. So when your mama tells you to go to bed and you argue with her, that’s dishonoring her.”
Jayda’s eyes grew big. “I’ve done that. I guess I’m a sinner.”
“We all are, Pumpkin. But Jesus can fix us. Remember what I told you.”
“That Jesus died on the cross for our sins. But I didn’t know what sin meant.”
Larae closed her eyes. How could she have failed to explain that? “Oh, Pumpkin. If I ever tell you something and you don’t understand, just tell me. Or ask questions. Okay?”
“Okay, Mommy. So how does Jesus fix us?”
“Tell Him you’re a sinner, that you’re sorry, and ask Him to save you.” Larae worked at keeping it simple. “If you mean it from your heart, He’ll forgive your sins.”
“And I’ll get to go to Heaven like Grandpa?” Jayda asked.
“A long time from now, when you get really old, you will.”
“I don’t wanna get old and all wrinkly.” Jayda shook her head.
Rance chuckled. “Wrinkles are the mark of wisdom.”
“What’s that?”
“It means you’re really smart,” said a man from behind Larae.
She turned around to see Rance’s dad.
“Good to see you, Larae.” His tone was genuine, yet his smile was cautious. “Who’s this little beauty?”
“I’m Jayda. I’m small for my age, but I can’t tell you how old I am.” Her gaze cut to Rance. “’Cuz it’s a secret.”
Obviously, Rance had covered all the bases.
Davis grinned, so much like his son. “Well, you must be an awfully good secret keeper.”
“Oh, I am. Mommy says if we can’t keep secrets, no one will ever trust us.”
Or we keep secrets that shouldn’t be kept. With the same result.
Jayda peered up at him. “What’s your name?”
“I’m Davis Shepherd, Rance’s dad.”
“You’re Da—I mean Rance’s dad?” She did a little bounce. “I’m so excited.”
“Well, I’m excited, too.” Davis chuckled. “I don’t think I’ve ever quite gotten a reaction like that.”
“Jayda’s been looking forward to lunch.” Larae tried to cover. “She really likes your son.”
“No, I don’t, Mommy. I love him. He’s my—” Jayda’s mouth clamped shut.
“New neighbor,” Rance supplied.
Davis’s gaze narrowed.
The piano grew louder, and Rance checked his watch. “Almost time to start. We better sit down. Stacia and Larae are old friends. Mind if we move back a pew so they can sit together?”
“Of course not. I’ll get my Bible.” Davis strolled toward the row in front of Stacia and her dad.
Perfect timing. Jayda would have to be quiet until after church.
Fifth pew from the front on the left, Rance filed them in, seating Larae beside Stacia.
“Where’s your mommy?” Jayda asked Rance.
“Tickling the ivories.” Rance pointed to the stage.
“I don’t know what that means.” Jayda’s eyebrows scrunched.
“Piano keys used to have ivory overlays,” Rance clarified, his tone patient.
“Oh, so it means she’s the piano player.” Jayda bent sideways to see around the woman in front of them.
“Don’t worry, you’ll meet her after church.”
A woman’s hand squeezed Larae’s shoulder. “I’m tickled to see y’all here.”
She turned to smile at Stella and Denny sitting behind them.
The song ended, and a man approached the pulpit.
Larae daydreamed through a few announcements and an opening prayer, then mouthed the words to three congregational hymns. After all the years she hadn’t attended church, she still knew the songs by heart.
Singing along, Jayda turned the page of the hymnal after the first verse. Rance flipped it back and pointed with his finger to where the next verse began under the first.
Up until now, Larae had been the one to teach Jayda new things. Her heart tugged.
The sermon started and the preacher held her attention, as if his message on church attendance was for her alone.
“Christians aren’t perfect. No one to ever walk this earth was perfect. Except Jesus. So when people upset you or even seriously wrong you, especially another Christian, you can’t let that keep you from church.” The preacher flipped the pages of his Bible.
“Hebrews 10:24 and 25 instructs us on this. ‘And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another...’”
The preacher scanned the crowd. “Be kind to each other. But if a flawed Christian brother or sister says or does the wrong thing, pray for them and keep coming to church. You can’t grow as a Christian or have the relationship God wants you to have with Him, if you don’t attend church with like-minded believers.”
He moved on to the members needing to be a tight church family, there for each other and following the golden rule. But Larae’s brain stayed snagged. Since she’d quit going to church, she’d spent time reading her Bible and praying. She’d taught Jayda about God. But she hadn’t really felt close to Him. Not in a long time. If she’d taken her daughter to church all these years, Jayda would have understood what sin was.
The piano started up again, jarring her from her thoughts. The preacher made his plea for sinners to come to the altar to get saved and for Christians to leave their cares there. Familiar strains of “Just as I Am” and a sea of voices joined together. As several people went to the altar, Jayda squeezed in front of her, Stacia and Maverick, out the end of the pew, and headed toward the front.
Larae’s feet launched into motion and she caught up with her daughter, catching Jayda’s hand.
“Tell that man I want to get saved, Mommy,” Jayda announced loudly enough for the whole church to hear.
Murmurs of aww and how sweet echoed behind them as they made their way to the altar.
“I think he knows, sweetie,” Larae whispered.
“The faith of a little child, folks.” The preacher met them at the altar, a little misty-eyed. He knelt with them there and asked Jayda several questions, making sure she understood the decision she was making. Satisfied that she did, he led her through the sinner’s prayer. Almost word for word what Larae had said as she’d accepted Jesus when Jayda was a baby.
Guilt welled within her. I’m sorry, God, for abandoning Your church. I’m sorry for not being as close to You as I should have been. I want to do better, to get closer.
“Amen,” Jayda repeated after the pastor.
They all stood and the preacher moved on to someone else as Larae and Jayda returned to their seats.
Despite his smile, Rance had tears on his cheeks. She’d seen him show emotion twice now. Over Jayda. Had he finally grown up?
But no matter how appealing he was, no matter how caring—at heart, he was still a rodeo circuit junkie. He might try to settle down and stay put, but he might get a hankering for wild horses and leave again. Her job was to protect Jayda and comfort her daughter if he left. She couldn’t take the chance of letting him break her heart, too. Not again.
* * *
Rance had ridden home with his parents. He’d given Larae instructions to drive his truck—slowly. He should
have planned this better. Told his folks last night. But if he’d done that, they’d have immediately gone over to Larae’s. And she was too gun-shy. She’d needed the night to adjust to Jayda knowing about him before his parents clamored for time with their grandchild.
Yet, this way, it all felt rushed. As soon as his dad pulled in the driveway, Rance jumped out.
“I have to tell y’all something.”
“So tell us.” Mom slipped her Bible in her large purse.
“Inside.” He ushered them in.
“You’re worrying me.” His mom gave him a pointed inspection.
“Nothing to worry about, Mom. It’s good news.”
“Are you seeing Larae again?” She frowned. “She’s a sweet girl, but she hurt you once. And she has a child now. It’s always so complicated when you take on another man’s child. Is he involved in their lives?”
“I don’t think there’s another man, Maggie. I think Rance is trying to tell us that the little girl is his.”
His mother’s hand flew to her heart.
“How did you know?” Rance’s gaze dropped to the hardwood floor.
“You mean it’s true?” His mom sank into her rocking chair.
“The little girl, Jayda, was watching her words this morning, but I think she almost said you were her dad. And then when she went to the altar, I saw your reaction. I knew you hadn’t known her long enough to love her like that. Unless she’s yours.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Why did he suddenly feel like a teenager who’d shamed his family? Because he had shamed their values. They just hadn’t known until now. “But I just found out Tuesday. And Larae wanted time to tell Jayda about me and let her get used to that before grandparents flocked to see her.”
“We have a granddaughter.” His mother dabbed her eyes with tissue. “How could Larae keep her from us all these years?”
“Don’t blame Larae, Mom. I broke up with her, and by the time she learned she was pregnant, I was dating someone else. And then another someone else. Larae thought I didn’t care and was too immature to be a father, so she left for college without telling me. I can’t say I blame her for the opinion she had of me.”
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