by Ellie Danes
He stopped by the table and picked up the photo of him with his parents then just looked at me and asked the question I still didn’t have an answer to. “What was the point in acting like one another stole it? It wasn’t even BioResearch’s property. If that had been the case, I could have almost understood Dad taking it as his own and furthering the research. It would have been wrong, but I could have accepted that being his logic. I could have accepted it because I know how I would have felt if I had spent years collecting data and research on technology that I was passionate about; only to leave and have no rights to the product whatsoever. I would have been pissed. It wouldn’t have made it right; but I could have at least seen it. I mean, I wouldn’t have sued someone else for it.” He took a breath and plopped down in the chair at the table.
“There has to be more to all of this, Ian, there has to be,” I added. I didn’t want him to shoulder all of the blame for something his father did. That wasn’t fair to him.
“Maybe not, Kate. Maybe he just knew there was no patent in place and didn’t want to be sued first. The shitty thing to me is that the technology was part his and part Michael’s. He was screwing over a person. Not a company. It belonged to both of them! All along! And he just wanted to make sure Michael suffered. The worst part? I almost lost you over it all!” he yelled, standing once more, unable to stay still. “And it’s nothing but a bunch of bullshit! Over nothing!”
“Well,” I sighed. “It’s not really over nothing is it?”
He narrowed his eyes and focused harder on me. “What do you mean? Dad sued someone that had just as much right to it as he did, and tied up my time and all of our resources in the process.”
“I don’t know, Ian,” I sighed, sadly. “I can see how someone could do what your dad did.”
“You’re going to have to explain yourself,” he said, standing firmly in place as he looked down at me still sitting on the sofa.
“I mean think of it like this: your Dad was always interested in research, right?” I asked.
He nodded.
“Right. Well, think about it: he spent all this time developing a technology with someone he considered his best friend, only to have his best friend steal his fiancée. That could make anyone angry. It would sure as hell piss me off.”
“It’s all a bunch of bullshit,” he reiterated. “Right now, I hate this company and honestly, I kind of hate him.”
“Don’t say that. Try to put yourself in his position. Try to think about how you felt when you thought you’d lost me to all of this. He probably didn’t want to risk losing anything else to my dad. He’d already lost his fiancée. He had developed this technology, and spent his best years doing it. Why would he want to give Dad and BioResearch the chance to screw him over? Why not beat him to the punch; because I doubt my dad would have let him get away with selling millions and millions of product that he helped create. So, if your dad hadn’t sued, my dad would have. And we’d still be in the mess that we’re in.” I was almost out of breath. I’d been speaking quickly, in long breaths, as if I had to get it out as quickly as I could. Before I lost my train of thought.
“I feel like a damn therapist,” I laughed. “Thinking about everyone’s point of view, and trying to help you understand them.”
He sighed, once again, and looked to the floor. “I didn’t know what to think or to feel.”
“Guess not everyone can come to those sort of conclusions so quickly,” I laughed, just before smoothing my hair with my hands. I was trying to lighten the tension in the room. “Look, Ian, I don’t blame you for not coming to that conclusion as quickly as it seems like I did.” I smiled. “I have more to read and process than you have. More from your dad’s point of view. I could feel the hurt he felt as I read his letters.”
He nodded, slowly, trying to process everything.
To tell the truth, he had a lot more emotional investment in everything than I did. Obviously he wasn’t going to think clearly. And while it was my relationship that was being screwed with, it was his relationship with me and his company.
And it had been his wasted time and resources.
“I just don’t know,” he stammered as he tried to wrap my head around everything.
“Have you ever done anything stupid and rash?” I asked, my brows cocked up as I tossed him a sideways glance. I knew full well that he had.
He slowly looked back up at me. “Dammit woman, why are you making good points, when all I want is to be angry?”
I smiled a knowing smile.
“I’m guessing you’re referring to my breaking up with you over a text message, because I was trying to get rid of the reputation hit that was likely to tarnish the name of MTS and my dad.”
“I might be,” I winked at him.
“I just wish that he would have agreed to share proceeds — and I wish I knew why the hell your dad kept ahold of the patent for all these years.”
I breathed out deeply. “We can’t hope to understand everything, Ian.”
“So you’re saying that they’re both just dickheads?” he growled, and I nodded, laughing.
“That’s exactly what I’m thinking. I’m not saying we can’t be mad. We can. But we have to remember that people do stupid things when their heart is hurting. Doesn’t make them bad people. Just makes them human.”
Chapter 23
Kate
He was so incredibly masculine and sexy, with the strongest facial features I’d ever seen. I knew it was weird to think that when all I could see was emotion after emotion play out over his face.
His tears were visible; and he was vulnerable. And that didn’t make me feel like he was less masculine and sexy than I had before. It actually made him a whole hell of a lot sexier.
He seemed like a towering giant as he stood over me as I remained sitting on the couch.
“Look, we’re not getting anywhere else with this tonight,” I sighed lifting myself up dramatically from the couch before walking over to him and wrapping my hands around his neck. He leaned over on me, and immediately my hands went to his hair, smoothing the tussled bits down.
He nodded and smirked just before leaning in and kissing me.
I was hoping to silence him with a kiss, but he’d beat me to it.
I just wanted to try to redirect his emotions into something a little more positive; hoping that it would make him think a little more clearly, although the entire situation was a total clusterfuck.
To me, it just seemed like it was two grumpy ass old men that had grown to hate each other — just trying to get even with one another. Nothing more. In fact, I was pretty damn sure that’s what it was.
I could see his thoughts all over his face. He was frustrated, his mind swirling around like a spinning top he couldn’t control or shut down. I knew he was fighting with it, struggling to figure out what to feel exactly.
I hated seeing him so upset.
I wanted to swear to myself never to let him down, to never let him feel that way again. But I knew that I couldn’t control it. What I could do was everything in my power to make him feel better when things went wrong.
I smiled and pulled him towards the bedroom, with him leaned against me. I was trekking the walk pretty damn breathlessly. The weight of him against me made me feel almost like I was climbing stairs. But I liked it. I liked that I wasn’t the only one that could do the leaning. I wanted him to lean on me too.
With a groan, we crossed into his bedroom. “Tired of basically carrying me?” he chuckled.
“Yeah, thanks for all the help,” I said in a low, sarcastic voice.
He tilted my chin to look at him with his index finger, and immediately I had to avert my eyes. I knew he’d make me smile, and I wanted to play with him a little longer. I wanted to get his mind off of everything else.
But something pulled me back.
It was like a crazy, wild force made my head turn back towards his daunting glare.
He was smirking at me, which wasn’t a
surprise at all.
It was his signature look if I’d ever seen one.
His eyes were dark and unblinking, and I felt my body warm immediately. Yet, I shivered as a tingling chill rolled up my spine. I felt almost nervous for a moment, and it rolled through my body and my hands started to shake.
I managed to make the shaking nervousness disappear as I flexed them out over his chest.
I felt stronger — more poised — all of a sudden. And I think it was because he was.
He could joke even after all this.
He could smirk.
He could smile.
And he could love…
He was strong. He was resilient, and I couldn’t help but smirk back at him as he winked slightly with his right eye. I wasn’t sure how we gotten to this point again, but all of a sudden it felt like I was under a spell. All over again, and I wondered if I would ever be immune to his sexiness. I felt woozy at just the smell of him; and looking at him made me weak in the knees.
When I had walked through the door earlier that night, I felt like I’d basically walked into a den of wolves; completely unshielded as his anger flamed all around him.
But I wasn’t afraid. Not of him.
He had every reason in the world to be upset — to be screaming — and I wasn’t about to be the hypocrite and freak out about it.
I was glad he had shared all of his emotions with me that night. It made me feel closer to him than ever. I had always wanted to feel connected to another human being; truly connected. And Ian and I were becoming more and more connected by the day.
I both loved and hated how absolutely crazy he made me in times like this.
I had a pull towards him and it always unraveled me, leaving me useless to make any real judgment calls. I knew I shouldn’t have been thinking about jumping his bones. But dammit, it was almost all I could think about at that moment.
His voice made my breath hitch and my heartbeat skip a beat or two. He could be cold. I knew that he could. But he wasn’t to me. Not usually, and definitely not now.
His jawline lit up by the same lone lamplight that was always on and his eyes seemed to smolder as I looked at him. I felt my body ignite in a fire.
He looked deep in concentration as he looked me up and down, and I was focused, too. On what I wanted. So much so that I moved, almost robotically, until I crashed into his lips.
He laughed, and before I knew it, I felt my body crash against the floor, with him heavy on top. I whimpered in defeat, submission, and absolute elation. His eyes bore into mine as soon as he pulled away from the kiss.
I felt as if he was branding me with his stare, making me his forever. My grips on his arms grew rougher as I felt myself fall into the moment.
His body felt amazing on top of mine. I wanted him so badly I was fucking shivering. My hands moved around to his back and slipped under his shirt. I made quick work of sliding my hands up until I was pulling his shirt from over his head. He instantly followed my lead and within seconds my shirt was piled on top of his on the floor.
As we kissed, I fumbled with his belt until it was undone and I was unfastening his jeans. We stripped each other like we hadn’t seen each other in months and were trying to get to the prize in record time.
Before I knew it, we were both basically naked on the bedroom floor.
I slid my hands back up his back, over his arms, before finally grabbing hold of his neck and pulling his mouth into mine.
I was more than ready for the kiss. Every bone and nerve ending in my body yearned for his touch and taste.
I was already imagining us tangled up in the covers. It was almost surreal, although I knew it was about to happen, and hell, it already had happened before. I wasn’t sure why my body seemed to crave him — and it — like it had never experienced it before. It was like I felt like he was almost too good to be true; like it wasn’t possible that I’d ever felt as good as I knew it felt to be with him.
My blood boiled deep inside my veins as my heart thudded out of my chest. My breathing sped up and his lips were about to touch mine.
I closed my eyes tightly.
“Ian...” I whispered in his ear, just before his lips captured mine once again.
I wanted to hold him close. I wanted to make him feel better and to never let him go.
Chapter 24
Ian
My eyes fluttered open, with Kate in my arms. I had a grin on my face despite the terrible night the night before. Probably because of Kate’s wonderful distraction techniques.
I slipped out of bed, and walked to the bathroom, nearly stumbling over the threshold as I entered it.
I growled, and leaned against the doorway, angry at the fall I hadn’t even had. I held myself up and muttered a singular, “Damn…” as I glanced at my reflection in the mirror.
I was a lot less angry than I was earlier, but I still didn’t really know what to do — or what to think. All I knew was that being head of MTS really wasn’t what I wanted. I knew that now. As much as I could force it, and pretend like I was made for the job, I knew it just wasn’t right. It never was. It shouldn’t have been me; the position wasn’t made for me. It was made for assholes like Jerome.
I had only ever wanted to do it for my dad. I’d only wanted to make it right, to keep his legacy alive.
But now, it didn’t really seem worth the aggravation.
I loved my dad, and I knew he loved his company. But I also knew that I would never be able to fully commit to it the way that someone else could; the way that he had.
I felt like there wasn't a reason to keep up with all the ridiculous hustle and bustle anymore; to keep up with the charade — the struggle. Because ultimately, I wasn’t happy.
I turned the faucet on and splashed a quick handful of water on my face before turning back toward the bedroom.
I stepped lightly across the floor, doing my best not to wake Kate as I approached the bed.
I pulled back the covers and gently slid back into bed, knowing that she was what I wanted.
Her.
I hadn’t seen it coming. I wasn’t sure I’d ever wanted for it to come — to love someone like this — but it was here, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
I felt her shift in the bed, and I knew she was waking up.
“Wanna get some coffee?” I smirked, as soon as she opened her eyes.
She smiled and nodded.
“On the count of three?” I laughed when she snuggled back into the covers, after just telling me she was fine leaving to get coffee.
“Mhmmm…” she moaned softly as she snuggled down some more. Waves of red hair covered both my pillow and hers. It was beautiful, shining radiantly against the white sheets.
“That means you need to prepare yourself!” I laughed, just before shaking her shoulders.
“I’m prepared to lay here for two and a half more seconds…” she sighed, dreamily.
I rolled my eyes.
“Three…” I started, just before laying a single kiss on her forehead.
“Two!” I yelled, before I hopped off the bed and ran to my closet at an almost inhuman speed. I needed to get some clothes on. I didn’t really care what clothes; but I wanted clothes on if I was going to run outside in the chilled air and beat her to Starbucks.
I grabbed my nearest gray suit, and held it in my hand before realizing that something was missing.
Her scent.
It wasn’t there.
It was like a fucking drug.
I didn’t even know I was addicted until I wasn’t around it anymore.
Being in bed with her for so long had left me completely intoxicated, and I hadn’t even realized it until I had reached my non-Kate zone.
I weighed the suit that was in my hand, surprised that it felt so light. Every other day it — and every other ounce of my clothing — seemed heavy. They weren’t big. All of them were cut for me, trimmed to perfection by my tailor Ramone. But every morning, when I went to put a
suit on, they seemed so incredibly heavy.
I cocked my head to the side, examining it, not really sure why I’d gone straight for a suit. I was about to go to Starbucks. Not to a meeting.
With a smile, I put the hanger back where I found it, and instead grabbed a pair of jeans and a more casual button down.
And that's when I heard Kate’s voice from the doorway.
“So you really didn’t want to walk with me?” she called out in a whiney voice. I turned, clothes in hand, standing naked as hell and looked at her.
She was pouting, standing there in my slim-fit white oxford shirt, and nothing else. I quickly swallowed. Well, I gulped really and bit my lip, stifling an inward groan so large that someone below might have sworn a lion was in the penthouse.
She was pouting hardcore but I knew it was bullshit. It was working, but it was bullshit.
“Go put some clothes on and race me!” I joked, trying to hide the fact that my cheeks were burning with a fire that had just been fueled deep inside of me.
I shook my head, trying to focus on getting dressed.
She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, “You’re a jerk…” she huffed before smiling and heading toward the living room.
“That’s why you like me!” I yelled after her, cockily before turning around to face my clothes again.
Being with her made me so much happier than I ever thought possible.
I wouldn't say I was ever unhappy, really. But I clearly didn’t understand what happy was until Kate showed me.
But now, I felt like I would no longer have to settle for just not being miserable. I felt like I could be genuinely, stock-photo-in-a-brand-new-picture-frame sort of happy.
I had become so good at pretending. I had become so incredibly good at hiding my true feelings — what few I actually had. It seemed easier that way.
Before Kate.
Maybe it’s because I was trying to be my father.
I missed him. I knew that was part of the problem; that maybe I was trying to be more like him to compensate for the fact that he wasn’t there. But it never worked. I just needed to be me.