by Dayna Quince
“As I've often told each of you,” her mother said as she placed her palm over Luna's heart.
Her pulse raced with trepidation and excitement.
“You only give your heart away once. Go where your heart leads you, and the rest will fall into place. Now if you'll be a dear and help me to my feet, I need to use the chamber pot.”
Luna smiled and wiped a tear. “Of course.”
She helped her mother to her feet, and after she was finished, they returned to the sofa, and there was no more talk about love and heartache. Instead they sat in silence, waiting until the first commotion of people returning filtered down the stone halls of Selbourne Castle.
“Would you like me to go see?” Luna asked. Her mother nodded and finished the last of her biscuit. Luna hurried to the door and was met with a line of her sisters on their way back from Kirkland Manor.
“What happened? Where is Bernie?” she asked as they filtered into the room, letting out cries of relief at the sight of their mother. The room at once was filled with near deafening chatter as the exciting morning was regaled to their mother.
Luna clung to the background, listening as Anne took the lead and told the story of Bernie's miraculous return.
“I'm sure she'll have more to say when she returns herself, but she felt she needed to stay with the Kirklands for the time being,” Anne said in her usual calm and resolute voice.
As the eldest of the Northumberland nine, she was their leader, their lodestar in the storm of their life. It was only fair she would be the first of them to marry, to find her well-deserved happiness and fairy-tale ending.
“The kidnapper was Mr. Rupert, the lad who had attempted to steal a kiss during the Kirkland garden party, and to whom Lord and Lady Kirkland had tried to force her to marry. He will be no further trouble but again I don't know much beyond that, and we will have to wait for Bernie to return and tell us the rest. As it stands, I'll be happy to see the end of this party and things return to normal.”
“Normal?” Odette asked. “You are marrying Roderick, your life will never be normal again. I suspect it will be quite adventurous. Just try not to have nine daughters, will you?”
Anne and the others laughed, but Luna didn't see the humor in the moment. Their lives truly never would be normal again. So much had happened in so little time. She held her mother's hand and studied each one of her sisters.
Her heart throbbed.
She couldn't imagine life without them, but she also couldn't imagine a life without Callen, and it was time for her to choose. In a way, Callen had been right. With Anne marrying Roderick, she would be joining the household of a duke, and there was no man more powerful than the Duke of Selbourne. In his hands, her family would be safe.
She didn’t want to marry Callen because of her family. She wanted to marry him because he loved him.
Luna made up her mind then; she was going to marry him, and she was going to be leaving England for some unknown place. Though the idea frightened her, as long as Callen was by her side, she could do it.
“Has anyone seen Nic?” Odette asked the room at large. The sisters all shared glances of confusion. “I'll go check her room,” Odette said. Then she disappeared into the hall. Luna stayed by her mother's side as her sisters met with her one by one, taking little gems of advice and then disappearing from the room to return to their own separate doings in the castle. It seemed they were all taking separate paths now, and Luna was cautiously sure of hers. But she needed to speak to Callen. After their conversation two days ago, the silence between them had eaten at her from the inside.
Luna wanted to be rid of it as soon as possible, and return to where they had been before. But first she had to see her mother home. She seemed tired. Luna wanted to be sure she was taking adequate care of herself, and there was enough food stocked in the house until she returned.
When she married Callen, the first thing she would request was a proper cook and an allowance for hearty meals before they left England.
Her father came to collect them, and they returned to Marsden house. Luna wasn't prepared for what she would feel when she walked in the door, memories and emotions assaulting her from every direction. She drifted like a ghost from room to room, saying goodbye, leaving her girlhood behind and preparing herself for the new path that stretched before her. She spent the rest of the day with her mother and father, appreciating them in ways she never had before. Even though she was often frustrated by her father's impractical ideas and flights of fancy that led to their desperate circumstances, she could no longer ignore the way he adored his wife. The way his gaze would touch on her with love each time she spoke.
By evening, she insisted that she prepare them a proper meal before returning to the castle. They dined together and she thought about Callen and what it might be like for them once they were married. Together in a place of their own, sitting across from each other at a table just like her mother and father were doing now. Sharing meaningless conversation but enjoying every minute of it.
If she could inherit one thing from her mother and father, she hoped it was this: the ability to let love rule over everything no matter how difficult it seemed, no matter the faults that they each had. Love cradled them in its strong embrace.
As the sun set, she walked back to Selbourne Castle, her father waving her off from the portico of their tumbledown house until she was close enough to Selbourne that she was deemed safe, and he went inside.
“I can’t have another one of my girls snatched up off the road,” he'd said just before she left.
She just might miss him and his silly sayings when it was finally time for her to leave. Though her mother now knew about Lord Densmore, Luna had begged her not say anything to her father until there were more concrete plans in place.
She knew instinctively Callen would want to speak to her father and gain his blessing, which he shouldn't have any trouble doing. As she’d left the house, Luna took note of the things that needed to be repaired. She imagined all that Callen could fix for them, and her heart lifted just the slightest bit. Luna wouldn't have to bear the weight of her responsibility to her family alone anymore. She knew Callen would happily bear it with her, and his shoulders were so strong and broad. She would be nearly weightless with his help.
The other guests were still at dinner, so she went to her room and changed into a fresh gown. But she was exhausted, drained by her turbulent emotions. She lay back on her bed and closed her eyes. She didn't wake again until the next morning.
Chapter 24
Callen woke, washed, and dressed, determined he would speak to Luna today one way or another. He wasn't going to pressure her to make a decision, but he was done waiting and he would at least enjoy the pleasure of her company while she made her decision. Being apart certainly wouldn't help sway her. Was he being selfish?
He just needed to see her. He couldn't stand it anymore.
He changed his bandage and resumed tucking in his shirt and then tossing on his waistcoat and throwing on his jacket. He was about to leave when his door opened and Theo sauntered in.
“I've come to a decision. And no, I don't want any of your input,” Theo said.
Callen raised a brow and finished buttoning up his waistcoat and his jacket. Then he reached for his gloves. “Very well. What is your decision?”
“I'm leaving. I think I’d like to see Barcelona. From there I’ll move on to Italy, maybe Greece, and see which climate suits me better.”
Callen was surprised and elated. Theo’s announcement changed everything. But he wouldn't believe it until he watched his brother sail away on the ship without him. Callen was going to be supportive no matter what. He banked his excitement and kept his face from showing his fervent interest in Theo’s plans.
“I think all three of those locations have similar climates, but it's totally up to you. I imagined you somewhere Mediterranean, where the waters are rumored to be crystal blue.”
“You know me so well, br
other.”
Callen studied him. “Are you sure about this?” He was afraid to give Theo even the slightest bit of doubt. But Callen had to be sure. His heart couldn't take much more of this back and forth.
The first thing he was going to do was find Luna and tell her the good news. He was certain if she knew they would stay, then she would agree to marry him. These last few days had been torture without her, but the end of this was so close he could taste it, and he hoped he could find a way to see her tonight so they could celebrate, just the two of them.
Callen wondered if he could sneak some champagne into his room and some special dessert. It would be a difficult request to make of the staff without arousing suspicion. Damn near impossible.
Theo cocked his head and his eyes narrowed slightly as he returned Callen’s stare. He blinked and shook his head. “If you think you're hiding your excitement, you're fooling no one, but I don't blame you. If I could trade places with you, I would. But I know this is what I have to do. My actions have caught up with me at last. I’m too tired to defend them now. I appreciate you not openly gloating, but you're right, and Luna's been right. A lot of things have happened that have shown me how wrong I've been, how selfish and stubborn, and it's time I redeem myself the only way I see how—short of letting Judge Blackwood hang me.”
Callen flinched. “Let's not talk of that anymore. What's the plan? When do you want to leave?”
“I don't want to spoil the party nor do I want to attend the ball. I think I'll go and speak with Capt. Marlowe today and see how soon we can leave.”
“I'll go with you,” Callen said.
“That's not necessary, and I'd rather do it alone. I need to stand on my own two feet. Perhaps my age has caught up with me. At least I can do this,” he said. “I know I can. I'm going to prove it to myself that I can.”
I'm proud of you.
And then he said the words aloud because he’d never said them to his brother before, but it was important for Theo to hear.
“I'm proud of you, Theo. I know how hard it is for you to make this decision, but it means the world to me, and I will see you again. We’ll come visit you at your villa. I’ll write instructions for Capt. Marlowe. We’ll set up a bank account and a way to send letters to each other that Judge Blackwood and his investigators won't be able to find. This isn't the end for us,” Callen assured him. “It's the beginning of a new life.”
Theo scoffed. “Calm down, brother. It isn't as though I'm leaving on a convict ship. I wasn't pleased before but have given it a great deal of thought, and I can make the best of a bad situation. Touring the continent isn't so bad. I'm sure I'll find many ways to amuse myself, but I promise they won't lead to duels or fisticuffs. I'm officially too old for those things.”
“I'm glad to hear it. I wish you the best.”
Theo nodded and left.
Callen put his gloves on and left his room, so giddy his feet barely touched the ground as he strode into breakfast parlor. Luna was the first person he saw as well as his brother again.
After breakfast, Violet announced the day’s plans, which were rather sparse, much to his relief. The party broke up into groups with some of the gentlemen choosing to take a morning ride and the majority of the sisters staying in the drawing room for parlor games.
He saw Luna leave the drawing room, and he hesitated before following. He didn't want to be obvious that she was his intended focus. Curiously, she went down to the kitchens. This might be the first time he'd actually spied on anyone, and he didn't think he was doing a very good job but she seemed distracted, humming to herself.
She stopped by a closet and selected a basket from inside and then continued on her way to a side door that connected to the kitchen garden. He hung back, peering through the glass window in the door to watch what she would do. She walked through the rows of herbs and occasionally crouched and plucked something. Then she'd move on to another row.
He surveyed the garden, but there was no one else out there and no one else in the hall where he stood. As far as he could see, they were alone, and he didn't want to waste any more time.
Callen pushed open the door and let it softly close behind him, approaching her slowly to prevent startling her. He stepped on a pebble, and it crunched under his boot. She spun around, dropping the basket.
She laughed when she saw him. “You frightened me.”
“I guess I would've made a terrible spy,” he replied with a half-smile.
“Good, I think it's a very dangerous profession.” She bent to retrieve her basket, and he could see her momentary relief and joy at the sight of him.
“I have some good news,” he said. “I’m going to stay.” There might've been a more eloquent way to come out with it, but he was so eager to end this ravine of uncertainty between them.
“Theo's choosing to go without me, and we haven't discussed everything at length, but he told me this morning that this is what he's decided. I think he truly means it. He said he wants to redeem himself, and this is how he's choosing to do it, bless his wicked soul.
She stared at him with wonder and slowly approached him. “He’s to leave without you? So you're going to stay? Are you sure?”
“Of course I'm sure. There's nothing I want more than to stay with you. Now I can, Luna. I thought you'd be more happy.”
She closed the distance between them and took his hands. “I am happy. Please don't doubt that. It's only… I don't want to be the one that keeps you and Theo apart.”
“We won’t be kept apart. I will see my brother again. I'm not going to let Judge Blackwood take away the only family I have. I can't leave you behind. So this is the way it's going to be.”
She cupped his face. “After talking with my mother yesterday, I was ready to leave with you. Please don't take my reticence as a change of heart. I was ready to go wherever you go. I still am. We can go with him.”
Callen drew back, stunned. “You were willing to go with us?”
“I am willing to go with you. My mother knows about us—not everything, but she knows that we're in love, that being with you means leaving my family for however long that means, here or abroad. I'm going to stay with you.”
Callen closed his eyes, but then he snapped them open and looked toward the kitchen window that looked over the garden.
He tugged Luna back by the door into a wall of ivy where they wouldn't be seen.
“You have no idea what that means to me, how it makes me feel that you were willing to sacrifice your family for me, for mine, for us.”
“You were willing to do the same for me, and I know how difficult that decision was for you. I know how difficult Theo's decision is for him. So, when should we marry? When… When should we…leave?
He could hear the hesitation in her voice, and it only reaffirmed that staying was the right choice for her. Callen wanted Theo to go alone. Not because he didn't want to see his brother, but because he thought Theo needed to do it to prove to himself that he could. Just as Callen needed to prove to himself that he could let Theo go.
“I still want to stay,” Callen said to her.
“But what about Theo?” she asked.
“Theo is still going to go. The change will be good for him and me. Whether or not he stays away will be decided later, but for right now, leaving is his best choice until we figure out what happened with Sir Kirby and Judge Blackwood.”
“Will you promise me you will ask Weirick for help?”
His jaw tightened, but he nodded. He would do anything for her, though he didn't see what good it would do. It would only infuriate Judge Blackwood more to have such a powerful aristocrat try to hinder his power. But as long as Theo wasn't in England, his investigators couldn't find him, or so they hoped. Callen didn't think Judge Blackwood's reach extended past English shores.
He certainly didn't have Callen's wealth. It was money that could keep Theo far from England and safe from the silk noose.
“It's decided. We will stay,”
he said. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask her to marry him again, to at last hear the three-letter word he wanted to hear above all else, but he bit his tongue. He wanted the moment to be better than this. Happy, joyful, celebrated.
Callen had something else in mind, something far grander.
The kind of proposal she deserved.
She may be the poor daughter of a country squire now, but she would be soon be the Countess of Densmore. The moments from proposal to engagement to their wedding should be made as special as possible.
He kissed her one last time, and they returned to the house to join the festivities with her sisters. From his position on the settee in the drawing room, he watched the Marsden women interact with each other and he marveled. They were all under his protection now. Sisters of his own, he chuckled, eight of them, plus the one the mother carried.
A bit overwhelming, but he was happy to embrace his new family and look to the future with Luna at his side.
Chapter 25
The morning of the final day of the house party dawned bright and clear. The guests slept late, preparing for the evening to come, and breakfast was served to their rooms individually. Luna could hear her sisters in the corridor, moving between each other's rooms, and she smiled. She felt like the cat with the largest bowl of cream, and she couldn't wait to tell them her news, but not just yet. She didn't know why she wanted to hold on to her secret romance, perhaps just to savor it a little longer. It was rather fun having a secret from her sisters.
Now all the fear and uncertainty was gone.
She still worried for Theo, although he was quieter than she was used to seeing him, reserved and perhaps a bit reflective. She hoped it wasn't fear or doubts in himself, but rather the necessary caution of forging a new path in life, and that soon he would be looking forward to it. With time they would see him again, and perhaps she could come to know him better.
He was Callen's brother and for that alone she wanted the best for him. To wish him well and see him thrive.