by J. A. Owenby
“No. It’s not all bad.”
“What does that mean?” she asked, pushing a little more.
“I’m not sure yet.” I wasn’t lying, I had no fucking clue. The one thing I did know? Every moment we spent together, I was losing the fight against my true feelings for her. But I was scared I’d rip her heart out again.
A small spark of hope lit up her blue eyes.
“Would you like me to be there with you when you talk to your parents?” I offered, deflecting the urge to kiss her.
“Yeah. I’ll come get you when they call.”
I nodded, my attention never leaving her as she left the room.
Redd poked his head into my office. “Sutton’s parents are on the phone. She wanted me to let you know she’s in the library.”
“Thanks.” I followed him, then he remained in the kitchen while I continued to meet Sutton.
Sutton’s phone was on speaker and resting on top of the bar. She held her finger up to her mouth.
“I trust Pierce and his team to do everything humanly possible to bring Claire home,” Sutton said, attempting to maintain her composure while encouraging them.
“You trust them, honey?” her mom asked.
“I do. They’re all grown now and great men. At the same time …” Her voice trailed off as she saw me. “We have to face reality and the statistics of her returning home. They aren’t so good.”
“Sutton,” her dad reprimanded. “Why would you say something like that?”
She cringed but continued. “Daddy, I can’t sit here and lie to you or myself. Even if she does come home, she will not be the same Claire that she was when she left here. And somehow, we need to come to terms with it.”
The Forrester’s phone clattered to the floor as her mother’s wail filled the line. Sutton stared up at the ceiling and squeezed her eyes closed, then her gaze fell on me.
“Can I?” I mouthed to Sutton.
She nodded. “Mr. and Mrs. Forrester, this is Pierce.”
I waited briefly to make sure Mrs. Forrester was back on the line.
“Hello,” Mr. Forrester answered curtly.
“I realize this is a difficult time, and although what Sutton said is true … I did talk with my FBI contact and they are not giving up. This isn’t over. I don’t want to give you false hope, but I wouldn’t say any of this to you if I didn’t believe in the task force that’s assigned to find Claire and the other girls.” I glanced at Sutton.
Tears welled in her eyes. “Thank you,” she mouthed.
“So you think there’s still hope we might get our little girl back?” There was no mistaking the emotional strain in Mrs. Forrester’s words.
“The men working on it are exceptional at what they do. They specialize in human trafficking and have brought women home before. I hope that helps you find even a little peace.”
“Thank you,” Mr. Forrester said.
“Please don’t hesitate to call if you have questions or you need to talk about it. I’m here to protect and support you.”
Tears rolled down Sutton’s cheeks, and I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her against me.
Silence filled the line.
“I know we have the funeral tomorrow, but we’d love to see you the day after. What time might work for you, Sutton?” Mr. Forrester asked.
“I’ll let you know when. You two take care of yourselves and get some rest.”
“Goodnight,” they said, then hung up the phone.
“Thank you. I’m not sure I would have gotten through the conversation without you. That was horrible.” Sutton disconnected the call and rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands.
“Come here,” I said, encircling her with my arms. She placed her head against my chest. Nothing felt right in my world except her. “Do you want to be alone or would you like a drink?” I asked.
“Definitely a drink. Like a Jack and Coke.”
“You got it.”
I rummaged through the significant selection of alcohol and located the bottle of Jack Daniels.
Filling it part of the way with whiskey, I topped it off with the Coke from the stainless steel mini-fridge next to the bar.
“Here ya go.” I handed her the drink, then made myself one. I chuckled as she took several gulps and winced. “Damn,” she sputtered. “That’s strong.”
“You’ve had a tough day. Talk to me.” I took her hand in mine and guided her to the loveseat.
“What do you want to know?” she asked, looking into my eyes.
“Tell me about your work,” I suggested.
Sutton took another healthy drink and gave me a sad smile. “I love it there. My boss, Patricia, is amazing. I’m a slush reader, so I read unsolicited manuscripts that are sent in. I read those, then talk to Patricia about why I think a book could sell.”
“What kinds of books?”
“Our two biggest sellers are romance and thrillers.” She laughed. “Quite a combo, huh?” Sutton tapped her fingers lightly against her glass and sighed. “My first boss was an asshole, and I wasn’t sure I’d even stay with the company. He sexually harassed the interns.”
Anger simmered through my veins at the mere thought of another man putting his paws on her. Especially when it wasn’t invited. I clamped down my feelings and allowed her to continue to share at her own pace.
“The first time he suggested I sleep with him to move up in the company, I got in his face and told him exactly what I’d do if he ever crossed a line with me again. Unlike a lot of the other girls, I had diddly squat to lose. If he wanted to fire me, I’d see the asshole in court, but he never messed with me again. I guess the mental image of his nuts being mangled hadn’t appealed to him.”
There was no way I could have stopped my huge grin. “That’s my girl. Da Shifu would be proud of you, too.” I internally cringed at the selection of my words. Sutton was no longer mine, and I didn’t like it. In fact, I hated myself for ever leaving her.
Sutton’s mouth opened and closed as though she were going to say something, then thought better of it.
“Have you been in a serious relationship since I left? A real one other than your … plaything, Gregory?” I asked.
Sutton didn’t hide her surprise to my question well. Even though she’d mentioned Gregory and she were only casual, it didn’t mean she’d come running back to me.
“Only Gregory for a while, but I’ve already told you about that. What about you?” A flicker of hope flashed in her eyes.
“Work doesn’t leave much time for romantic involvements,” I admitted.
“It makes sense. You’re moving from client to client.”
“Yeah. Now that’s changing, so I have no idea what I’ll have time for or what I want.” Our gazes locked.
“If you had the time, would you want to be in a committed relationship again?” she asked, her expression filling with curiosity.
I leaned back into the loveseat and stretched my legs in front of me. “I think about it, sometimes.” I focused straight ahead and nursed my drink. “I'd be dead now had I not joined the Marines nine years ago. Guess I never let myself consider it much with my job. Plus I don’t know if I’m the father type, so I’d probably say no to having any kids. You?” I tilted my head to look at her, interest bubbling inside me. Sutton would make an amazing mother one day, but we’d never discussed it in high school.
“I don’t know. I … I was pregnant once,” she whispered.
What the … had I heard her correctly?
“What?” I asked, sitting up straight in my chair. “What happened?”
“I lost the baby.” Her forehead wrinkled deeply with her confession.
I didn’t miss the tremble in her voice, and my head began pounding. “How old were you?” I asked, clearing my throat, afraid to hear the answer because, no matter what she said next, it was going to fuck me up. “How old were you, Sutton?”
Chapter 19
I had nerves of steel until recently.
But now? Waiting for Sutton to answer me left my insides quaking.
“I was eighteen.” A cry escaped her while she spun away from me. Goddammit. She’d been pregnant with my baby and I’d had no fucking clue.
“Jesus.” I downed the rest of my drink, then inhaled sharply. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
She shook her head and closed her eyes momentarily, tears streaming down her cheeks. “It’s one of the reasons I went to see your mom a few weeks after you left—to tell her about the baby.”
If I’d been able to, I would have slammed my fist into the wall for not being there for her, but I couldn’t scare her when she was confiding in me. Instead, I knelt down next to her chair and placed her hand between both of mine.
“Sutton.” I lifted her chin with my finger. “What happened? Please, I need to … please.” My throat tightened with regret and grief. There was no way I deserved to hear the details, but I needed to understand what she’d gone through when I’d left her.
“I was going to keep the baby.” She smiled through her tears. “Your mom was going to help, my parents, too.” She wiped her cheeks and took a deep breath. “I was about five weeks along, and I miscarried.”
I stood and brought her to me. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you,” I whispered into her hair. I gently caressed her back while I held her. So many things had gone wrong. How would I ever be able to fix it all?
“Pierce.” She gingerly placed her fingers on my chest and peeked up at me through her wet eyelashes. “You didn’t know. I could have located you and told you, but I wanted to carry the baby longer before you found out. Your mom was with me, and even my parents were supportive.”
“No wonder they hate me. How could I blame them? I left you under terrible circumstances.” I placed a kiss on the top of her head. “I don’t know why you don’t.”
“I’ve never hated you. I was angry with you for leaving without any more than a phone call and an explanation that you were joining the Marines, but I always understood. At least you told me you loved me before you left. And what happened with Connor … His death tore us all apart. He was one of our best friends, and none of us went unscathed when we lost him. But if you’d asked me, I would have gone with you.”
I closed my eyes and pulled her tighter against me. “I was young and scared. You were my entire world, the air I breathed. My responsibility was to keep you safe, not put you in harm’s way. And somewhere inside myself, I thought leaving would protect you from any more pain.”
“I know that now. But I wish you would have talked to me. We should have discussed it together, as a couple. That's what hurt the most. You made a decision, all on your own, that affected both of us. I never had a say in it." She pulled away and crossed her arms over her chest. “I knew that you left because you had to, not because you didn’t love me.”
Her words split me wide open. She was right. I left because I loved her.
I took her hand and led us back to the loveseat.
“I would have been a dad.” Disbelief clouded my thoughts. For a brief moment, I allowed myself to imagine what it would have been like with Sutton and a child. I’d have bought her dream home for us, made sure we were in a good school district, and worked my ass off to provide for them. Then, a niggling thought broke through my daydream. What if I’d not escaped my old life, and I’d died or gone to prison? I’d have abandoned them just like my father had me. Maybe the loss of the baby was … No, I couldn’t even bear to think it.
“Yeah.” A small smile pulled at the corner of her mouth while she sat down and tucked her legs beneath her. “And an amazing one, might I add.”
“I guess now I could even afford to support a child. I haven’t wrapped my brain around that fact quite yet.”
Sutton’s body visibly relaxed, and I knew a change of subject was best for both of us.
“I have a private plane, two houses, and more cars than I can count. I’m still discovering shit Dad left me.” A fierce pang of sorrow pierced my chest.
“And a company,” she said, grinning. “Not just any company, either. You’re helping people, Pierce.” Her tone carried a hint of excitement.
“I’m trying. I lost a man on my last assignment.” My voice trailed off, the memories of John playing out in my mind. Everywhere I looked, there was darkness and death. Would I ever catch a break?
“I’m sorry.” She reached for my hand and gently caressed it.
I turned toward her. “You used to talk about going to Paris. Did you ever go?”
Sutton laughed. “I was always dreaming about leaving Portland, huh? And, no. I’ve never left the country. But you have, though. Iraq, right?”
“Yeah, and I fucking hated it.”
“Remember the map we had in my bedroom? We’d plan out trips and mark them with a red thumbtack?” she asked, wistfully.
“I do. In between stealing cars and selling drugs for Lionel, we’d planned to run.” I chuckled. We were filled with almost as many dreams as we were faced with shitty realities.
She leaned her head back and laughed. “We were trouble, Pierce Westbrook.” She giggled and took another drink. “Well, at least you were.”
I barked out a laugh. “Seriously? You’re going to play all innocent?”
“I am.” She straightened in her seat and batted her eyelashes at me. “You ruined me in every way imaginable.”
I scratched my lightly stubbled chin and stared at her. “If I recall, the first time I saw you, your hair was about shoulder length, dyed jet black, which was a far cry from your natural blonde, and you wore combat boots with your skinny jeans. I’m not sure I corrupted you at all.” An ornery grin flickered across my face. It felt good joking around with her.
“Hmm.” She pondered and tapped her leg with her finger. “You had hair down to your ass. And ...” She pointed at me, “your hair was beaded.”
I grinned at her but didn’t say a word. I wanted to see what she recalled.
“It was a rattlesnake that was beaded into your hair!” She sat on her knees, and her tone spiked in pitch with her excitement.
I laughed. She remembered.
“And you smoked,” she said, her blue eyes widening with the recollection.
“Not anymore.” I held up my drink and swirled the amber liquid around in the glass. “Looks like I’ve traded one bad habit for another.”
She sank back against the loveseat. “Was there anyone not afraid of us?”
“I don’t think so,” I replied, mentally naming the few who had the guts to fuck with me. Not many, but there was one. And he’d definitely had the balls.
“Do you remember all the times we made love in fifth period woodshop when there wasn’t a class?” I asked.
“Every. Single. Time.” A dusting of pink covered her cheeks.
My dick hardened with the memory of our sex life. We were approaching dangerous territory now. Alcohol, memories, and grief.
She tipped up her glass and emptied it. “I had a vibrator I named Pierce after you left.”
I coughed, choking on my drink. I shifted in my seat, hoping to ease the pain of my erection. My brain immediately imagined her using the vibrator. Dammit. I was going to end up in the shower again. This girl, she had to know what she was doing to me.
“That was probably an alcohol-induced confession,” she admitted.
I wanted to offer her more whiskey, then undress her slowly. “That would have made for one hell of a letter while I was overseas.”
“Yeah, I guess I could have written you sexy letters. Now there’s sexting. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.”
“Sutton,” I warned her. “You need to stop.”
Her blue eyes stared me down. “Do I?” She tilted her head to the side, searching me.
“Yes. You do.” My focus lingered on her as I contemplated my options, but I already knew the right thing to do. I placed a kiss on her forehead and left the room. In seconds, I was in my shower, relieving my massive hard-on.
Chapter 20
One of the hardest things to do in life was watch the coffin holding a loved one descending into the ground. The service was beautiful, and the church was packed with a few people I knew, but most I hadn’t ever met. Somehow, I thought I might feel relief it was over, but I knew better. The grieving process would take years, and I’d never fully recover from the loss of Dad.
The next day Jeffrey and I left early in the morning to view some property Dad had been checking out in Salt Lake City. Redd was with Sutton at her parents’ house while I was away. He would also monitor the cameras at her place, so I was free to conduct business without any interruptions.
“What did you think?” Jeffrey asked.
“I see why Dad was interested in it. It would allow me to expand Westbrook Security and have someone head up the location. Unfortunately, I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet.” I looked out of the plane’s window, watching the thick white clouds drift by. “I never understood how an airplane could travel seven hundred miles per hour, yet it seemed like we were barely moving.”
Jeffrey grinned. “Do you like to fly?”
I nodded. “It saves on time that’s for damned sure. Dad didn’t hold back on the luxuries, either.” I reclined in the cream-colored chair and eyed the dark brown carpet that covered the floor. It hadn’t taken me long to explore when I’d first arrived and learned there were a full-sized bedroom and bathroom along with a conference table that could easily seat eight adults. I could comfortably fly my team anywhere in the world. I would definitely keep the plane.
“Where’s his cabin located? He told me a few years ago, but he only mentioned it briefly, and I didn’t pay a lot of attention, honestly.”
“Which one?” Jeffrey asked.
“How many are there?” I asked dismayed. Even though I’d seen the paperwork, my stocks, and accounts, I still hadn’t had the time to sort through it all yet. All I knew was that I was a billionaire. A. Fucking. Billionaire. It was shocking and almost alarming how much Dad had kept from me, but I guess it was the parent’s prerogative and right not to disclose every detail of their life to the kids. I was smart enough to realize he was rich … but I had no idea of how wealthy he really was.