by Mike Resnick
"Sir ..." began the robot.
"Do what the lady says," ordered Cole.
He turned to see who he was buying the beer for, and almost had to physically stop himself from doing a double take. Standing thereand he was sure she hadn't been there when he walked in a minute or two ago-was a woman with flaming red hair, proportioned like a model but standing an inch or two above six and a half feet. She wore an outfit of glistening metallic fabric that clung to her body, and a pair of thigh-high boots with the handle of a weapon peeking out of the top of each. She wore long gloves, and Cole could see the outlines of dag gets through each one. He couldn't decide at first glance if she was a prostitute or an assassin, or maybe just a refugee from a masquerade; she seemed dressed for any of them.
"Thanks," said the woman as the robot delivered her beer.
"Happy to oblige," said Cole, taking a swallow from his glass.
"Blue Star's good drinking stuff," she said. "I know the guy who makes it. Well, I knew him," she amended. "But his family's carrying on and doing okay with it."
Cole picked up his glass. "It's getting a little noisy here. Care to join me at a table?"
"Sure," she said, following him to a small table about halfway between the entrance and the bar.
"Have you got a name?" he asked when they were seated.
"Lots of 'em," she replied. "This week it's Dominick."
"Dominick?" he repeated. "I never met a woman named Dominick before."
"You probably never will again," she replied. "He was my seventh lover. Or was it my eighth? No, seventh. So this week I'm memorializing his name. Fourth time around for it. Once or twice more and I'll know that I'll never forget him."
"So you really want me to call you Dominick?"
"This week, anyway," she said. "Last week I was the Queen of Sheba. And what do I call you?"
"Delveccio."
She shook her head. "No, that's no good."
"I beg your pardon?"
"That name's blown. Choose another one, Wilson Cole." She stared at him. "And keep your hands off your weapons. If I wanted to expose you, I could have done it at the bar when everyone could hear me."
"What makes you think I'm this Cole person?" he asked.
"Because you went and busted up some guy on McAllister, and he went public with who you are. Your holo is on every newscast in the Republic, on both Frontiers, and in the Arm." She smiled. "The Navy thinks you've been a naughty boy."
Cole looked around the bar. No one seemed to be paying him any attention.
"Don't worry, Commander Cole," said Dominick. "You're safe for the time being."
"Captain Cole," he corrected her. "And what makes you think I'm safe? If you could spot me, so can someone else."
"At least two others have," she replied. "Maybe three. But you're not in any immediate danger."
"Why not?" he asked.
"Because you're with me."
"You're that formidable?"
"I suppose you could ask the men who didn't think so, but they're mostly dead, or recovering in hospitals."
He stared at her. "I can believe it. You remind me of a Valkyrie."
"What's a Valkyrie?" she asked.
He told her.
"That's my new name," she announced happily. "Call me Val for short."
"It's none of my business, but why do you change names so often?"
"My real name drew a little more attention that I could handle, especially the last few years," replied Val. "Besides, I'm on a mission, and it's better that the people I'm after don't know where I am."
"It's not a mission for the Republic," noted Cole. "Not if you aren't interested in turning me in."
"It's for the Pegasus."
"The Pegasus?"
"My ship!" she said, her face a sudden mask of fury. "I was the greatest pirate on the Frontier until I lost it!"
"Well, I'll be damned!" said Cole with a smile.
"What's so funny?" she demanded.
"I used to read about pirate queens in adventure novels when I was a kid, and I'd see them in the holos, but I never thought I'd run into a real live one. Come to think of it, they all dressed like you."
"Yeah, well I'm a pirate queen without a ship," said Val. "When I get it back, someone besides me is going to rue the day they took it away from me."
"How did it happen?"
"We were attacked by the Hammerhead Shark."
"I beg your pardon?"
"He's an alien," she explained. "He's got scaly skin, and eyes sticking out to the sides like the hammerheads of old Earth's oceans."
"He's a pirate too?"
She nodded. "The worst. I fought like a woman possessed. I must have killed twenty of the bastards, but finally their numbers overwhelmed me. They set me down on Nirvain II and flew off with my ship."
"And your crew?"
"Those that survived had to swear fealty to the Shark," she said bitterly.
"Fascinating story," said Cole. He paused. "It'd make a great holo-but you wouldn't think much of me if I believed it. Why don't you tell me what really happened?"
"I was sleeping off a drunk right here on Basilisk and my fucking crew sold me out!" she bellowed.
"That one I believe."
"I'll kill every last one of the bastards when I catch up with them!"
"I believe that too."
"How about you?" she asked, calming down almost instantly. "What's the most wanted man in the galaxy doing on a grubby little world like this?"
"Making sure I haven't been followed before I rejoin my ship."
"Your ship?" she repeated. "You're not still in the Navy, are you? This hasn't all been some kind of ruse to get you close to the Teronis?"
"No, it's no ruse."
She smiled. "Then you're a pirate too. How else could you feed your crew and power your ship?"
"We're kind of apprentice pirates," he replied. "It's more complicated than it looks."
"I'll bet you were the ones who sacked the Achilles!" she said suddenly. "I knew there was a new player in the game, but until twenty seconds ago I didn't know who."
"Yeah, that was us. Getting their treasure was a nice, simple military operation." He grimaced. "Unloading it has proven a little more difficult."
"That's because Windsail was a fool," said Val contemptuously. "If you're going to be a pirate, you'd better learn the trade. You go around murdering Republic miners and trying to make a profit selling hot jewelry and you're begging for trouble."
"So I'm finding out-about the jewelry, anyway," said Cole. "What does the competent pirate steal these days?"
"Anything that you can sell directly on the Inner Frontier, without going through a middleman."
"For instance?"
"Grain shipments. Shipments of ball bearings and machine tools. Things that colony worlds need, things like frozen livestock embryos. When you think about it, who really needs a diamond necklace?"
"Makes sense," he admitted. "I guess I watched too many pirate shows when I was a kid." A sudden smile. "I've been a victim of false doctrine."
"You should have just asked someone on your crew."
"Except for a teenaged kid who doesn't really know the score, my crew came with me from the Republic," answered Cole. "We haven't had time to recruit anyone out here. In fact, except for the crew of the Achilles, all of whom wanted to kill us, I haven't met any pirates." He paused and stared at her. "Until now."
"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked suspiciously.
"I'm about to make you a proposition."
"Sexual or business?"
"Business."
"All right, I'm listening."
"You need a ship. I need an education. Why don't you join the crew of the Theodore Roosevelt until we find out where the Shark has taken your ship? Once we hunt it down, we'll help you get it back in exchange for half of any loot he's stolen since taking it over. Anything that was in the ship before that is yours."
"Some pirate!" she sno
rted. "How will you know I'm not lying to you? Maybe I'll claim some stuff that the Shark stole."
"How do you know I'll let you take a damned thing?" countered Cole.
Val studied him for a moment, then laughed. "Cole, only an honest man would make such a dumb statement to me and expect to live. You've got yourself a deal!" She reached out and shook his hand vigorously. "When do we leave for your ship?"
"In another day or two, just to make sure no one is following me," he said. "I had to leave McAllister in a hurry."
She laughed. "Well, you wanted to be a pirate."
"No," he answered seriously. "I didn't want to be a pirate. It was forced on me-but as long as that seems to be my fate, I might as well try to be a competent one."
"I think I'm going to enjoy serving with you," she said. "Let's drink to it."
"You know the stock, you do the ordering."
She leaned forward and spoke into the table's communication port. "Two Cygnian cognacs. From the Northern Hemisphere. No later than 1940 G.E. Got it?"
"Understood," replied the computer.
"Make it fast," she added. "We're thirsty."
"If you're thirsty, drink water," said Cole. "For what this stuff costs, sip it slowly."
She was about to reply when two men, one burly, one tall and lean, approached the table.
"Go away," said Val.
"We want to talk to your friend, Dominick."
"Beat it," she said. "We gave at the office. And my name's Val."
"How the hell can anyone keep up with your names?" complained the tall man. "We just want to have a little chat with Mr. Cole here."
"Go away," said Val. "You're not even bounty hunters. You're just scum that thinks you can get drinking money by blackmailing this man."
"We plan on getting a little more than just drinking money," replied the tall man.
"You've got the wrong man," said Cole. "I don't know anyone called Cole."
"Our price for agreeing with you just went up," said the burly man.
"And your life expectancy just went down!" snapped Val. Suddenly she stood up between them. What happened next was a display of strength and skill the likes of which Cole had never seen in all his years in the service. Within seconds both men were on the floor, bleeding profusely and moaning in pain. Three of their friends charged the Valkyrie, who handled them as if they were awkward children rather than large, hardened men. Two went down in the first half minute. Then she grabbed the third before he could retreat, lifted him above her head, spun around a few times, and tossed him through the air. He landed with a bone-crunching thud! on an empty table, which broke beneath him. He fell to the ground, and lay motionless.
Cole got up, stepped over the five unconscious men, and headed to the door.
"Let's go," he said.
"Where?" asked Val.
"My ship."
"I thought you were waiting to make sure no one was following you."
"If I wait until those guys wake up, they won't have to follow me," said Cole. "They'll take one look and know exactly where I am."
"What about our drinks?" demanded Val.
"I'll buy you one on the next world we come to. Let's just get the hell out of here!"
"I can make sure they never get up," said Val. "No one will miss them."
"Save it for the Shark," said Cole. "We don't need twenty of their friends coming after us."
"They don't have any friends."
"Are you coming or not?" demanded Cole.
She shrugged. "What the hell. They're your problem anyway, not mine."
They walked the mile to Cole's ship, and he found that he had to work hard to keep up with her long strides. Once they'd taken off, he contacted the Teddy R to ascertain its position.
It was red shift and Forrice was in command. The Molarian looked at the image before him and said, "Who's that with you? A new girlfriend?"
"Four Eyes, say hello to the new Third Officer of the Teddy R."
Cole sat in his cramped office aboard the Teddy R, facing Forrice, Christine Mboya, and Sharon Blacksmith.
"You're the Captain," Forrice was saying. "You can promote or demote anyone as the mood takes you, but we've got a lot of people who've risked their lives for you, who can never go back to their families, and they're going to resent making an outsider our Third Officer."
"She knows more about piracy than the rest of the crew put together," said Cole. "And she saved my life."
"Maybe it's slipped your memory," said the Molarian, "but there isn't a person aboard this ship who hasn't saved your life-or do you think you just walked out of the brig on Timos III on your own?"
"I know how I got out," said Cole. He paused and stared at Forrice. "Do you remember a month ago I told you that Slick was the most valuable member of the Teddy R because his symbiote enables him to function without air or physical protection in the cold of space, and on chlorine and methane worlds, for hours at a time?"
"Yes."
"Well, he's now the second-most-valuable member. This woman knows every friendly planet, every rival pirate, every place to unload the kind of cargo we're going to be stealing. She's a walking encyclopedia of piracy-and if that's not enough, she's commanded her own ship."
"And lost it," noted Sharon.
"I didn't say she was perfect," replied Cole. "I said she was valuable. She's got another virtue, too."
"What is it?" asked the Molarian.
"She can beat the shit out of you and any five crew members you pick to fight on your side."
"Just a minute," interjected Christine. "Before we go into raptures about her, let me make sure I understand the situation. She's not with us permanently. She's just here until we hunt down her ship and take it away from this Hammerhead Shark and his crew."
"Which also happens to be her crew," added Sharon.
"That's right."
"And then she leaves us and goes back to her own ship?" continued Christine.
"After we split up the Shark's loot," said Cole.
"What's to stop her from screwing up all our instruments and then turning her weapons on us?"
"I trust her not to."
"I don't mind you putting your life in her hands," said Forrice. "But I object to you doing the same with mine and the rest of the crew's."
"I appreciate your objections," said Cole. "But I've explained my reasons. She's our Third Officer. I'll stay in charge of blue shift until we finish debriefing her, but then I'm going to turn it over to her."
"And what will you do?" asked Christine.
"What I always do, but this time I won't have to do it in a constricted time frame." He looked from one to another. "Just remember: Every time I've ever taken any action aboard the Teddy R it's worked out to our advantage."
"That's why we can never go back to the Republic," said Forrice sardonically.
"That was your action," said Cole. "I didn't escape from the brig. I was broken out."
"I still don't like it," said Forrice.
"Neither do I," Sharon chimed in.
"Your objections are noted," said Cole. "And if this ever becomes a democracy, they may even be acted upon. But until that happy day, I'm the Captain and what I say goes." He paused. "Does anyone dispute that?"
Silence.
"All right. If I can sense all the hostility, I'm sure Val can too. I want someone to try to bond with her, become her friend, put her at her ease."
"I thought that was you," said Sharon bitterly.
"I've got a ship to run. It can't be Forrice or Christine, because they'll be commanding different shifts."
"Don't you look at me that way, Wilson Cole!" snapped Sharon.
"Can't you give it a try?"
"Bond with her?" repeated Sharon. "Hell, when I stand next to her, I'm staring into her navel! How do you bond with a lady Goliath?"
"You're the one who's going to be debriefing her," said Cole. "You'll be in her company a lot for the next few days. Just try to be more pleasant to her
than you're being to me right now." He paused. "She's not my lover, and she's not looking to run the Security Department. She's just the possessor of a lot of valuable knowledge, and if we have any luck tracking down the Shark she's not going to be here too long, so I want to make her comfortable and talkative while we have the opportunity."
"Didn't she talk to you on the trip from Basilisk to the ship?" asked Sharon.
"Nonstop," said Cole. "I have improved my knowledge of cognac a thousandfold."
"And I'm supposed to become friends with that?" demanded Sharon.
"Just make an honest effort."
She grimaced. "All right, all right, I'll try."
"I'll try too, when I'm not on duty," said Christine.
Cole looked at Forrice.
"I'm still mad at you for pulling rank," said the Molarian. "I thought you called this meeting to ask for our opinions."
Cole shook his head. "I called this meeting to tell you my decision, not to argue for it."
"Well, I think it's a mistake."
"You're free to think so," said Cole. "In here," he added, as his voice took on a sharper edge. "One step outside that door, all disagreements end."
"I know the routine," replied Forrice sullenly. "But since we're still on this side of the door, I just want to say that I've never seen you this damned arrogant before."
"That's because you've never challenged my judgment before," said Cole. "We went into this pirate business cold. None of us knew anything about it except all the stuff we'd assimilated from bad books and worse holos. We lucked out and figured out how to dispose of the diamonds, but if that sonofabitch on McAllister had been a little more competent, I'd be in a Navy brig right now, strictly because of ignorance. And now we've got a phenomenal source of information on board. She's been a successful pirate for more than a decade. She's never had a ship shot out from under her, never been arrested, always been able to show a profit, stole things that didn't attract the Navy's attention. She knows where to pick up information. She knows the make and model of most of the major pirate ships on the Frontier. She knows the ships' captains and their methodologies. She knows where to hide when things get hot, from rivals as well as from the Navy. If we get into fighting at close quarters on a ship or a planet, she's worth two of Bull Pampas and six of anyone else. She's not military, and she's got more than her share of rough edges, and she sure as hell drinks too much-but we need her. And, just as important, I trust her." He paused and stared at each of the three officers in turn. "And as of now, the subject is closed."