I nodded.
“Are you okay? You’ve been quiet since everyone left.” His fingers rubbed little circles on my bare thigh, making the need to do something stupid fade even further away as a new ache took its place.
I wanted his hands on every inch of my body. Wanted his heat to chase away the coldness that had invaded my body the moment I’d realized he knew about the cutting. I wanted him to kiss me so I would know if he still wanted me as much as I wanted him.
“Thank you for being with me today,” I told him. “I don’t think I could’ve done it without you.”
His fingers stopped and bit into the flesh of my outer thigh. “I wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else, sweetness.”
I tried to smile, but my face didn’t want to cooperate. “I’m still thankful.”
“Lucy.” He turned so that he was facing me on the bed, his eyes searching mine. “Loving you doesn’t stop when things get ugly. If anything, that’s when you find out if that love is the forever kind. I’m not going anywhere. Ever. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” I breathed.
He lifted his free hand and cupped my cheek, those aquamarine eyes darkening in a way that made it impossible to look away. “I have loved you all my life, Lucy Thornton. It would take a hell of a lot more than this to make me stop now. You are my moon and stars—my fucking world, girl. Don’t you ever doubt that. Ever.”
“Harris…” Tears spilled from my eyes. Knowing that he wasn’t going to leave me made everything so much more bearable. I needed him more than any other person on the planet. With him beside me, I knew I could do anything.
“Get used to saying my name like that, Lucy. It makes my dick hard as steel.” He lowered his head and skimmed his lips teasingly over my own. “Maybe that makes me a bastard, but I want you so damn bad right now.”
He still wanted me. Relief washed through me, flooding the coldness away and replacing it with a heat only he could allay. I leaned into him, silently pleading for a deeper kiss. The fingers on my thigh moved, cupping my ass and squeezing. Hard. A moan escaped me and he growled something incoherent. Gripping me with both hands, he pulled me across him until I was straddling his waist.
I’d only pulled on one of his shirts and a pair of panties after my shower, so there wasn’t much of a barrier between his thick erection and my dripping pussy. His cock flexed under his jeans, hitting the perfect spot to make me see stars. The events of the day faded from my mind and all I could think about was how quickly could I get him inside me.
My hands went between us while he continued to kiss me and I found the snap of his jeans. He wasn’t wearing a belt, thank gods, and I took my time pulling down the zipper for fear of hurting him. He was straining against the metal and as I freed him inch by inch he released a hiss of satisfaction.
“I want you so bad,” I moaned against his lips.
“Me too, sweetness.” He kissed me hard and quick, his fingers already reaching for my panties. “I’m sorry, Lu, but I can’t take it slow with you tonight.”
“Good. I’m glad.” I grasped him at the base and stroked upward, delighting in the drops of pre-cum I released from the tip. “I’ve missed you so much, Harris.”
“Ah, God, Lucy, I’ve missed you too.” He leaned his head back against the headboard, closing his eyes as I continued to stroke him. “I love you so damn much.”
I would never get tired of hearing those words. “Please, don’t ever stop,” I whispered.
“Never, Lu. I’ll never stop.” He reached for my hands and lifted each one to kiss the backs of them. “You’re mine. Always.”
“Always,” I echoed, and stole another kiss.
Dropping my hands, he started pulling my shirt over my head. “You’re so beautiful.” He cupped one breast in his hand, his thumb rubbing over the already hardened tip, making me whimper. “I’m a lucky man, Lucy. So fucking lucky.”
I was the lucky one. To have him love me. To get to spend the rest of my life with him. If he could still want me after knowing everything about me, then I was the luckiest person alive. “Make love to me now, Harris. Show me how much you love me.”
Wrapping one arm around my waist, he lifted me. Grasping his cock with the other hand he pulled me back down onto the tip. His jeans and shirt were still on, but I didn’t care. All I wanted was for him to be inside me, making me fall apart in the best way possible.
Chapter 22
Harris
“I thought you were coming home.”
I grimaced at Jenna’s defeated tone. I hadn’t seen much of her in weeks—months. I’d left without saying goodbye when I’d followed Lucy to Florida and then work had taken up so much of my time that I’d only stopped by to see her twice. It had been over two weeks now since I’d last seen her. I texted Angie regularly to check on her, though, so I knew she was eating and even getting out for a walk from time to time.
With everything going on with Lucy, Jenna hadn’t been high on my list of priorities. As long as Angie was taking good care of her, she wouldn’t be either. I loved Jenna, but it was time I stopped babying her. I couldn’t keep letting her sulk in her apartment. She had to start taking responsibility for her life. Maybe if she showed Natalie and the others she was serious about making a fresh start, they would come around. No one was, though, if she was going to act all pouty and moody by staying locked away.
“My plans changed,” I told her. There was no reason to tell her what was going on with Lucy. She only wanted the closest family members to know and I would respect that. She was serious about getting help and I wasn’t about to give her any reason not to want me to be a part of her recovery process. “I’ll be home tomorrow.”
“Will you come over for dinner then?” Her tone was hopeful and I hated letting her down, but there was too much to do for a visit.
“I can’t, Jen. I have to get caught up on work.” There wasn’t all that much I needed to do at work, but it was a good enough excuse as any.
Lucy’s last day of the summer term was the next day and as soon as she was done we were leaving. Emmie and Lana had gone back to California the week before, but Layla and Jesse hadn’t left. They, like myself, weren’t about to let Lucy out of their sights for the two weeks she’d still had of school. The twins, who had been staying with Shane and Harper, had arrived the weekend before and, with all the Thorntons around, Lucy had become more like herself.
Emmie had already been looking into treatment options for Lucy. We were meeting with a few therapists who specialized in self-mutilation to see if any fit for Lucy. I wanted her to find someone who she felt comfortable talking to and could turn to if she ever felt like she couldn’t come to me or her parents with her need to hurt herself. There were also support groups she could attend that I was going to go with her to see if she felt comfortable.
It was slowly settling in for her that I wasn’t going to leave her. I’d made damn sure she understood that she was the most important thing in my life and I wasn’t going to let something like that destroy us. The only way I knew how to prove that to her was to be with her through every step of getting better.
“Is this because of Lucy?”
I blinked at the coolness in Jenna’s tone. What the hell was her problem? “What do you mean?”
“Everyone took her side in January. Now it feels like she’s taking you away from me, too.” There was a catch in her voice but her tears didn’t calm the growing anger I felt starting to boil in my veins.
Glancing around the suite I’d been living in the last two weeks with Lucy and Marcus, I made sure no one was near enough to overhear. Lucy was studying for her last final and Marcus was in the shower, but I still lowered my voice. “I’m only going to say this once, Jenna. I love you. You’re one of my closest friends and I’ll always be here for you. But Lucy will always come first with me. Always. I don’t know what kind of shit is going through your head right now, but this has nothing to do with what happe
ned in January. I’m not taking anyone’s side because there are no sides to take.”
“You never have time for me these days.” She was crying now. “I don’t want to lose you, Harris. You’re all I have left.”
“You’re not going to lose me. I will always be your friend, Jenna. And I’m not all you have left. Shane and Drake see you every week. Angie is there every day—”
“They stop by for ten minutes, ask if I need anything, and then leave. Angie just sits around here all day, lecturing me on eating and getting enough sun. She feels like a damn mother hen.” The tears were drying up now, replaced with anger. “You’re the only one who understands.”
“I’m the only one who lets you mope and feel sorry for yourself,” I snapped. “It’s time that stopped. You want the old life you had before Tessa, you have to show everyone that you’ve changed. Sitting in your dark apartment all day every day isn’t going to do that. Bitching and whining about how you’ve lost everyone and everything sure as hell won’t do it.” I heard her sharp inhale, but didn’t even pause. “Get your shit together, Jenna.”
The next second the line went dead and I realized she had hung up on me. I tossed my phone on the coffee table and leaned forward. Dropping my head, I lifted my hands and squeezed the back of my neck. I felt like shit for hurting her, but I didn’t regret one word I’d just said to her. What had happened in January wasn’t her fault, but she was making it all about herself. It was time she grew up.
Soft fingers touched the back of my hands and my head snapped up. Lucy stood over me, her eyes full of concern and compassion. “You okay?”
I caught hold of her hand and tugged her down onto my lap. “I’m good.”
Silky soft fingers traced over my chin, then moved to the dimple in my left cheek. “I’m sorry about Jenna. I didn’t mean to keep you away from her.”
I dropped a quick, hard kiss on her lips. “You aren’t keeping me away. I have a short list of priorities right now, sweetness, and Jenna just isn’t on it. If she can’t understand that then maybe she should take a closer look at her own priorities.”
She pressed her lips together for a moment, deep in thought, then licked her tongue over the plumpness. Helplessly I followed the movement of that sexy little pink tip. “You should’ve told her about what’s going on with me. She would’ve understood.”
“It’s none of her business,” I interrupted. “I hate admitting it, Lu, but right now Jenna is stuck in a ‘pity me’ mentality and can’t think past herself. She’s depressed and has shut herself away, but no one can help her because she doesn’t want to help herself. I’ll give her a few days and then call her again. Maybe by then she’ll have a better perspective.”
“I don’t want you to fight with Jenna, Harris. You two have been friends for so long.” She laid her head on my chest. “I don’t want to come between you two.”
I kissed the top of her head. “You aren’t, I swear.”
She started tracing little patterns on my shirt, but I felt it all the way to my dick. “Maybe… Well, maybe we could all go to dinner together soon. Maybe if she sees I don’t want to take you away from her she won’t hate me.”
“No one could ever hate you, sweetness.” I kissed her again. “But the dinner idea is something we can talk about once we’re home. Okay?”
She lifted her head, a small smile tilting her lips. “Okay. I want you to be happy.”
Surprise had my brows lifting and my eyes widening. “Lucy, I am happy. Much more happiness and it might kill me.” Her smile started to dim and I cupped her face in both my hands. “The entire world could be going to hell, but I’d still be the happiest man alive as long as I have you.”
“You haven’t seemed very happy lately.” She lowered her lashes. “You don’t smile often anymore.”
“That’s only because I’m worried about you. I’m always going to worry about you, Lu. Today, tomorrow, ten years from now. Fifty years down the road. I’ll still be worrying.” I pulled her closer, tucking her head under my chin. “But don’t think that I’m not happy, because nothing will change that. Having you beside me is the only necessity I have to happiness.”
Her nails bit into my chest, but the small pain only caused my jeans to become almost unbearably tight.
“I love you so much.”
“I love you too, Lucy.”
We sat there like that for a long while. Holding her brought me peace and I hoped it helped her too. We didn’t have to be kissing or making love to feel connected. All we needed was to hold on to each other and I knew in my soul she would be okay. Eventually, it was her stomach growling that pulled us apart.
Marcus came out of his room and we got ready to leave. Jesse, Layla and the twins were already waiting on us when we got to the pizza place where we were going to have dinner. Luca and Lyric didn’t know what was going on with their sister. Everyone thought they were too young to understand, and I agreed with them. But they were too smart not to know something was wrong with Lucy, and I figured she would eventually tell them. Until then, we didn’t talk about it when they were around.
Jesse got up when he saw us approaching the corner booth they were already sitting at. He hugged Lucy hard, then turned to shake my hand. The huge rocker hadn’t batted an eye when I told him I was going to stay with Lucy while we were in D.C. If anything, I thought he was relieved that I would be with her day and night. The fact that we were sharing a bed didn’t seem to bother him. I guess the possibility of Lucy hurting herself outweighed the thought of what we were doing behind closed doors.
Layla stood as well and hugged her daughter even harder than Jesse had. Layla was still blaming herself and I could understand where she was coming from. If Lucy and I ever had kids of our own, I knew I would feel the same way if we found out that one of them was hurting themselves. Mother and daughter had become even closer over the last two weeks. They talked every day and Layla was trying to be more understanding about Lucy’s reasons for the cutting. I doubted she would ever completely understand, though.
I doubted any of us really would.
“I’m so ready to go home tomorrow,” Lyric said as we took our seats. He took a big bite of his cheese pizza.
“Me too,” Luca grumbled. “Can Violet and Mason sleep over tomorrow night?” His dark eyes brightened at the possibility until his father shook his head.
“Sorry, buddy. Violet and Mason are in Ireland this week with Uncle Shane and Aunt Harper,” Layla told him, and Luca’s face fell. “They won’t be back for another week or so.”
“But she didn’t say she was going anywhere.” Luca pushed his plate of half-eaten pizza away. “I talked to her yesterday and she didn’t say anything.”
“Maybe she didn’t know,” Lucy offered as an explanation as she scooted into the booth with him. “I’m sure she would’ve told you if she’d known.”
“Yeah. Maybe.”
Marcus waited until we were all settled before taking the end of the large booth. Jesse and Layla always made sure he felt like he was part of the family when they ate out. I knew for Lucy he was like another uncle and he loved her like she was his own. His role in her life wasn’t going to change, I’d make sure of that. He was the only one I trusted with her safety when I wasn’t around and I knew Jesse felt the same.
After dinner, Jesse took the boys to play in the arcade at the back of the pizza place and Layla turned to Lucy. “How’s studying going, baby?”
“I think I’ll pass tomorrow.” She picked up an extra straw that was lying on the table and started to tear off the paper wrapper on one end.
“That’s great.” Layla glanced over her shoulder to make sure the twins were out of sight, then turned back around. “Emmie has two doctors’ appointments set up for Monday morning. Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?”
Surprised by her question, I glanced at Lucy. “I thought we were all going together?” If she thought I wasn’t going to be with
her, she had lost her damn mind. I wasn’t going to let her do this on her own. I needed to be a part of it.
Lucy put the bare straw end into her mouth and turned her head to look at me. Blowing into the straw, the rest of the straw paper hit me on my cheek. With a grin she put the straw back on the table. “Don’t worry. You’re still coming. I just asked Mom and Dad to let me do this with just you.”
I instantly relaxed but saw that Layla was having trouble with this decision. “I know I reacted badly when you first told us, Lucy. I’m so sorry for that.”
“It’s okay, Mom. You reacted like any mother would.” Her smile was gone now and she gave Layla’s hand a gentle squeeze. “I just want to do this on my own.” Her eyes shot to mine and she gave me a smile. “Well, not completely alone. But Harris and I are a team. I just…” She grimaced. “I’m not explaining this right.”
Some of Layla’s tension started to fade and she turned her hand over to entwine her fingers with Lucy’s before reaching for my hand. “No. I get it.” Her fingers tightened around mine and for once I really got that Layla was happy Lucy and I were together.
She’d always been good to me, and had treated me like one of her own children, but I knew she hadn’t been happy about Lucy changing schools in the beginning. I knew she’d thought that it was my fault and she wasn’t far off the mark, but now she was relieved that Lucy was going to be closer to home.
“That’s how it is with me and your dad. I’ve always hoped you would find someone to share your life with like that, baby.” The smile she gave us right then was watery, but heartfelt. “I’m so glad you found him, Lucy, and that it’s Harris.”
She released Lucy’s hand and turned her full attention on me. “And if you hurt her, I’ll make you wish you’d never been born.”
I didn’t even hesitate. “Yes, ma’am.”
Un-Shattering Lucy (The Lucy & Harris Novella Series) (Volume 4) Page 16