by Kim Fox
Tito nearly collapses under the huge man’s hard stare. “I’m just… going to…” Without another word, he sprints to his cabin and slams the door shut. I hear the lock click.
“Do you know everyone?” I ask, trying to lighten the tense mood. I walk over and grab Jessie’s arm. She slips out of my grasp and hides behind Lachlan, but I grab her again and yank her out. “Have you met my sister, Jessie?”
Kneecap nods. “Hello,” he grunts.
“Hi,” Jessie says, looking like she’s being introduced to a hungry Bengal tiger. As soon as I let go she jumps behind Lachlan once again.
“This is Abigail,” I say, pointing to the cowering girl behind Caleb.
Only her hand comes out. She waves over Caleb’s round shoulder. “Hello,” she squeaks.
Maximus is watching this whole thing with a bewildered look on his face. “Are you staying for dinner, Kneecap?”
Kneecap grunts a yes.
“Can I talk to you for a second?” he says, narrowing his eyes on him. “Now.”
Kneecap reluctantly gets up and follows Maximus to the far cabin.
As soon as they’re gone, everyone turns to me.
“Explain,” Lachlan says in a tight voice.
Jessie slaps his arm. “Don’t talk to her like that,” she snaps. She winces as she shakes out her hand then turns to me. “Explain,” she says in the same tight voice.
“You invited him here?” Ronin asks. “Do you realize that when you invite Kneecap to dinner, you may become the dinner?”
“Is he gone?” Tito shouts from his locked cabin. His head is sticking out the window.
“No,” Ronin shouts. “He’s still here. And he’s still pissed about your dress comment.”
With a gulp, Tito disappears inside the cabin and slams the window shut.
“Why would you invite him here?” Caleb asks, looking equal parts confused and terrified. “How did this happen? Did you see a naked caveman wandering through the forest and think to yourself, he would be a good dinner companion?”
I shake my head and roll my eyes. “I think you guys are overreacting. Kneecap has some sort of mental disorder and I want to help him out.”
“He has a disorder all right,” Ronin says. “A big furry one that will rip your throa—”
“Ronin!” Lachlan snaps, shutting the twin up.
“I think he suffers from a severe form of social anxiety,” I explain. “The worst thing we can do is isolate him. I think that his years spent in isolation has helped foster a subjective mental world that is separated from the real world.”
“And that’s a bad thing?” Caleb asks, staring at me with wide eyes. “Kneecap should be isolated from all worlds.”
“You can’t be serious,” I say, horrified. “That’s barbaric.”
“Nora,” Jessie says, looking uncomfortable. “There’s a lot going on here that you don’t know.”
“I know more than you think,” I say with a little more force in my voice. “I’m a professional psychologist. I’ve seen this before.”
“You’ve seen the inside of a bear’s digestive tract?” Ronin asks.
“Huh?”
“Ronin,” Lachlan warns.
Ronin ignores him. He’s staring at me, waiting for an answer. “Have you?”
“No,” I say with a roll of my eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Then you haven’t seen this before,” Ronin says. “Because if you had, then you’d be running in that cabin with my chicken shit of a brother to esc—”
“He’s coming back!” Caleb interrupts.
They all look around nervously, staring at the ground, at the treetops, at their hands as Kneecap and Maximus walk back.
“Well,” Maximus says, taking a deep breath. “Kneecap is joining us for dinner.”
All eyes slowly turn to the huge man wearing a tarp.
“Great,” Lachlan says, looking like this is anything but great.
Jessie is biting her lip as she stares at me with wide eyes. I don’t think she’s blinked in over five minutes.
She’s not worried about our father and his goons, but she’s worried about this guy.
Maybe I’m not judging him properly.
No. Can’t be. I’m a professional.
Dinner is… awkward.
The laughter and joking around that were here in abundance yesterday has flown away with the warm breeze, leaving a cold uncomfortable air around the table.
I notice that everyone keeps shooting quick nervous glances at Kneecap like he’s a ticking time bomb that’s about to explode.
His table manners are something to be desired, but he’s been living in the forest for so long that I’m not really surprised. Okay, maybe I’m a little surprised when he takes a massive gulp of the wine straight from the bottle.
“No worries,” Ronin says, staring at the table. “We didn’t want any more wine anyway.”
Yesterday, we took over two hours to eat. All of the talking and laughing and storytelling and joking took up a lot of time. Whereas tonight, with nothing but uncomfortable silence lingering about, we finish in record time. About twelve minutes.
The boys leap up from the table to clear the dishes as soon as we’re done. They look so excited to leave.
My body tenses as I watch them. This must be so hard for someone with a severe case of social anxiety like Kneecap to do, but instead of encouraging him, they treat him like he’s some kind of threat.
I put my hand on his huge shoulder and smile at him. “Want to go for a walk?” I ask. “Watch the sunset?”
His grey eyes are mesmerizing up close. “Okay,” he whispers. “I’d like that.”
I step away from the table and toss my napkin onto my placemat. “I’m going to go for a walk with Kneecap,” I announce.
The tension becomes so thick that you would need a chainsaw to cut through it.
Jessie not-so-subtly elbows Lachlan. “Say something,” she whispers.
Lachlan clears his throat. “Is that such a good idea?”
I hook my arm around Kneecap’s forearm and nod. “Yes. It is.”
“Maybe I should go with you,” Maximus says, stepping forward.
I can’t believe these people. They’re treating this guy like he’s some kind of wild animal. Even my sister. I glare at her as I pull the big guy away.
I can feel all of their eyes on us as we walk toward the valley. Even Tito is watching through the window of his cabin. When Kneecap turns to him he ducks down, disappearing out of sight.
What is wrong with everyone? No wonder the poor guy feels like he has to live in the woods.
“Are they always like this?” I ask, shooting an annoyed glance over my shoulder.
He shrugs his massive shoulders. “No,” he says with a pensive look on his face. “They’re usually so happy. I think I’m ruining the night.”
“You’re not,” I say, turning to him. That’s a classic characteristic of social anxiety. They think they’re always ruining the fun. “I’m having a great time with you.”
I’m trying to make him feel at ease and it seems to be working. His somber expression becomes a little lighter.
“They’re just being jerks,” I say, shaking my head in annoyance.
“No,” he says after a deep breath. “They’re not jerks. I’m hard to be around. I know that much is true.”
I don’t see it. He looks a little rough around the edges—okay, maybe like broken glass around the edges—but there’s a soothing aura emanating from within him. I can feel it and it’s anything but hard to be around. He seems like a big, gentle, misunderstood teddy bear.
We walk in a comfortable silence, enjoying the gorgeous night as the sun starts to slowly set over the mountains. We pass the horses and they lazily look up at us with disinterest as they slowly chew their dinner. Kneecap walks over to the wire fence and a big spotted grey horse trots over to him.
He smiles as the horse nuzzles his palm.
“This guy
is a tough one,” he says with a smile. “He’s the only one who’s not afraid of me.”
He thinks the horses are afraid of him when it’s clearly the other way around. Must be a by-product of his social anxiety.
“He’s gorgeous,” I say, reaching up to touch him. The horse turns his big head, checking my hand for food. I wish I had an apple on me to feed him. Tomorrow, I’ll bring him one.
“What’s his name?”
“I don’t know,” Kneecap says with a soft look on his face as he strokes the horse’s long neck. “I come to see him sometimes when I’m feeling lonely and he hangs out with me. I’ve asked his name but he won’t tell me.”
I look up at him and see a faint smirk on his face. A joke. We’re making progress.
I chuckle as I hook my arm back around his. His biceps are huge. “You should call him something that will piss him off until he tells you,” I say with a smile.
“Good idea,” he says with a grin. “I’ll call him Cow.”
I catch myself smiling as we walk away, heading toward the hill across the meadow. He’s the strong silent type and although he’s nothing like the PhDs and intellectual men I’m usually dating, I feel drawn to him.
Maybe it’s the beautiful Montana evening or the wine from dinner, or the rock hard bicep I’m holding, but I’m really starting to enjoy myself.
The tall grass in the meadow tickles my knees as we walk. It’s filled with purple wildflowers that make the warm air smell like an enchanted fairyland. Kneecap reaches down and plucks one from the earth and gently tucks it behind my ear.
I smile as his big hand grazes my cheek. I’ve never had a guy put a flower behind my ear before and it makes my cheeks heat up in a good way.
“Thanks,” I say shyly. “Let me get a matching one for you.”
I reach down to pick one and a bee immediately stings my finger.
“Ow!” I cry out, grabbing my finger as a stinging pain jets through my hand. I’m not good with pain. I hate bees.
I start to feel lightheaded and suddenly my legs are having a hard time holding my weight up. I’m woozy and feeling sick.
Luckily, Kneecap is there and he grabs my body, steadying me while my eyes tear up. It really hurts.
He gently takes my hand and inspects my fingertip. When I see the bee’s stinger sticking out, I nearly collapse once again.
“Don’t look at it,” he says in a soft reassuring voice. “Look at my face.”
I take deep breaths as I stare at his face, trying hard not to cry. I concentrate on his bright grey eyes as they focus intensely on my finger. I seem to forget about all the pain as my eyes roam over his strong nose and the hard angular curve of his jaw. The chiseled lines of his mouth look so sensual through his thick beard and I can’t stop staring at his lips.
I wonder what it would be like to kiss him. The thought just pops in my head out of nowhere, but once it’s there, there’s no taking it away.
Am I attracted to him? It can’t be.
I’m into intellectual men like professors and scientists, not to a rugged muscular mountain man who looks like he’s about to toss me over his shoulder at any moment and bring me back to his cave. Now, why is that image making me all hot and swirly?
He’s so gentle as he works on my finger, careful not to hurt me. It’s strange seeing a man so rough and strong treating me so gently. Like I’m a delicate flower he doesn’t want to harm.
The moment is over too fast. He pulls out the stinger and I’m forced to pry my eyes away from his face.
“I guess that’s why guys don’t wear flowers in their ears,” he says with a subtle smile.
I laugh as I straighten back up. “I think you’re right. It’s much too dangerous.”
My breath catches in my throat as he reaches up and gently wipes the wetness from under my eyes.
“Thanks,” I whisper.
He smiles at me for the first time and it sends a warm shiver cascading through me. “You’re welcome.”
We walk the rest of the way in silence, but this time I don’t hook my arm around his arm. This time it wouldn’t feel friendly. It would feel like… something else.
He brings me to a gorgeous spot on the hill and we sit down on the soft moss and watch the sun slowly descend over the ranch. The horses are walking around, doing their thing. A few dozen cattle are grazing in the valley in the far distance. It’s spectacular. Truly breathtaking.
“Do you come up here a lot?” I ask, looking up at him.
He looks so peaceful in the soft light of the sun as he stares off into the distance. I can’t imagine how anyone could be afraid of him.
“I do,” he says with a sadness to his voice. “But I’m always alone. I’ve never been up here with anyone before.”
He turns to me and the intensity of his stare gives me a pang in my chest, making my heart beat a little faster.
“Thanks for bringing me up here,” I say. And I mean it. I’ve never seen such a beautiful sunset.
He smiles at me. There’s something about that smile…
“Kneecap,” I say, inching a little closer to him. “Can I ask you… why do you isolate yourself like this?”
I can see the pain in his eyes when he looks at the guys on the ranch, when he was touching the horse. When he touches me.
He takes a deep breath as he stares into the distance. “I usually have such… turmoil inside,” he says softly. He turns to me with a gaze that makes the hair on my arms raise. “But with you. It’s quiet. Peaceful.”
I swallow hard as I listen to him.
“I’ve never had that before.”
I’m not sure what to say to him so I just scoot a little closer and rest my head on his shoulder. We watch the rest of the sunset in silence.
And in peace.
6
Kneecap
“Get up.”
I wake up to a kick in the ribs.
Who’s the dead man?
My rage fades when I look up and see Maximus through squinting eyes.
“Get up,” he repeats.
He tries to kick me again, but this time I move out of the way.
His face is hard. Tense. He’s looking around the cave with his hands on his hips.
“You can’t keep living like this.” He’s staring at the half-eaten deer carcass against the wall. I really should have cleaned that up, but I wasn’t expecting company.
I sigh as I get to my feet.
“What do you expect me to do?” I ask. “I’m an animal. I have to live like one.”
“Bullshit.”
He’s trying to give me a pep talk. I appreciate the effort, but I’m too far gone.
“I can’t be around people. You know that.”
Maximus shakes his head. “I don’t know anymore,” he says, looking unsure. “I saw you with Nora last night. The way you were looking at her. How well you behaved. I’ve never seen you like that before.”
Just the sound of her name gets my heart hammering in my chest.
“Your human side wants more than this,” he says, glancing around the cave. “You can have more than this.”
I sigh as my eyes drop down to my feet. Like my psychotic grizzly would ever allow that.
“My bear…” is silent. I can’t believe it, but it’s true.
It hits me like a knockout punch. He’s quiet.
For the first time this morning, I realize it. He’s not in my ear growling. He’s not snarling at me or clawing his way out. It’s… a fucking miracle.
Either that or he’s dead. Still would be a miracle.
“Your bear is what?” he says, waiting for my answer.
“I don’t know,” I say, looking around in confusion. I can feel him inside me, but he’s just not moving. He’s actually calm. “He’s not his usual self.”
Maximus grins. “Sounds like he’s in love.”
I nearly laugh in his face. In love? My bloodthirsty savage bear?
The only thing my ferocious grizzly lo
ves is killing. And tormenting me.
“I don’t think so,” I say, shaking my head. It just doesn’t seem possible.
Maximus tilts his head and grins. “I’m not so sure. Seems like she has the magic touch.”
It’s a nice thought, but it can’t be true.
He probably got sick from eating a rotting deer carcass or something. Serves the fucker right.
“Are you going to eat dinner with us again tonight?” Maximus asks.
I swallow hard. “Is Nora going to be there?”
He laughs. “Yeah, she’s going to be there. Are you going to come?”
I nod.
He smiles as he slaps my shoulder. “Good. Then you’re coming with me today.”
“Where are we going?” I ask, feeling nervous all of a sudden. My bear is fine here in the forest with his alpha but if we’re going anywhere that has people walking around, his old nasty self can reappear at any moment.
Maximus points to the tarp that I stole from the barn. “You can’t wear that ugly thing again,” he says with a chuckle.
“You’re right,” I say, grinning back at him. “I should wear my good tarp.”
He laughs. “We’re getting you clothes. Real clothes.”
My chest tightens.
“And a haircut. And a beard trim.” He leans in and smells me. “Ugh,” he says, wincing. “And a shower.”
I wait a few seconds for my bear to react with a vicious onslaught of aggression, but he doesn’t so much as whimper.
“Okay,” I say with a nod. “Let’s do it.”
He slaps my shoulder and grins. “Extreme bear shifter makeover here we come!”
I grunt and wince as the cruel fabric squeezes my legs, cutting off my blood circulation like it’s trying to kill me.
“Will you stop being so dramatic?” Maximus says with a roll of his eyes. “They’re just pants.”
“I can’t walk in them,” I whine as I stumble around the back of the store. The changing rooms were much too small for me so the owner let me change back here. “How am I supposed to move?”
“For Red Dead Creek’s most notorious enforcer,” Maximus says with a look of disbelief, “you’re a real pussy.”