“So, um, who’s Valerie?”
“What?” he asked, like he didn’t know who she was talking about. But she’d caught the slight flinch he hadn’t been able to control when she’d said the woman’s name.
“Lucas mentioned that he ran into a friend of Valerie’s.”
“Yeah, uh, she’s no one important,” he muttered, working his jaw again. “Just some bitch that I used to know.”
Keeping a careful eye on his profile, Jonah’s expressions often more telling than his words, she quietly said, “It sounded like something more.”
“Christ, just forget everything that asshole said tonight, Jace. Okay? He was just trying to screw with us.”
Instead of taking his advice, she said, “If you don’t want to talk about Valerie, then how long ago were the two of you with Jenny at the club?”
He cursed under his breath again, and pulled one of his big hands over the lower half of his face. Stopping at a red light, he turned his head and locked his tortured gaze with her searching one, the light from the streetlamps making his dark red hair look like burnished silk. “It doesn’t goddamn matter, because that part of my life is done.”
“Jonah—”
“No,” he said roughly, cutting her off. “Just listen, Jace. Please.”
Her throat shook as she swallowed, and she gave him an even shakier nod.
The light changed, so his gaze was focused once more on the road when he cleared his throat and said, “I’ve been crazy about you for a long time.” A harsh, gritty laugh rumbled up from his chest, and he shoved an unsteady hand back through his hair, keeping the other one on the steering wheel as they crawled forward in the heavy traffic. “I wish I could explain what exactly you mean to me, because if I could, you’d know that you don’t need to worry. That you can trust me. I can’t be tempted to fuck up because there’s nothing in this entire goddamn world that I want as badly as you. Hell, I want nothing but to make this thing between us work, and to be a part of your and Davey’s lives. I feel like I’ve been waiting for you forever. And, yeah, I might not have been a saint while I was waiting, but none of that…”
“None of that what?” she whispered, prompting him to go on.
He pulled in a deep breath, then slowly let it out. “None of that matters, because it’s something I’m happy to leave behind. It didn’t feel half as good as just holding you does. Didn’t bring me half as much pleasure as I get from just hearing you laugh. And when I get to touch you, and taste you, and make your sweet little body come apart for me, it’s in a world of its own. There’s nothing that could ever compare.”
“So you’re saying that I can keep you satisfied? That you won’t need anyone else?”
He shot her a hungry, glittering look. “That’s exactly what I’m saying. I don’t want other women. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not a fucking lifetime from now. You’re the only one that I want, Jocelyn. It took me for-fucking-ever to find you, but now that I have, I’m going to do whatever it takes to become the kind of man who deserves to keep you.”
“Jonah,” she murmured, trying to control the rapid beat of her heart, her emotions on the verge of getting completely swept away by him, while her head warned her that she still needed to be careful. “I love that you feel that way about wanting me, because I want you too, but—”
“But what?” he husked. “You think I’m lying to you?”
“No. But why won’t you talk to me about what happened to you?” she asked in a rush of frustration, the quiet words bursting out of her. “Why won’t you open up?”
“I’m trying. I swear to God that I am trying.” The words were gruff and thick, each one spoken with raw emotion.
And he really was, she knew. But she felt like he was trying to erect a wall between the man he’d been before that day in the conference room with her, and the one he was now, and while she was hardly an expert on psychology, Jocelyn couldn’t help thinking that it seemed an unhealthy path to take. She knew he couldn’t change his past, but that didn’t mean that the right answer was pretending like it’d never happened. And while she didn’t want a blow-by-blow recount of who he’d fucked, and how, she at least needed to know the “why” of his life choices. Because the fact that Vane had been a huge part of his existence for a long time now was becoming more and more evident, and her gut told her that something like that didn’t just happen.
“I… I have trust issues,” he muttered, sounding like he’d had to force the words out. “I know that. But I’m working on it.”
Rubbing her hands over her thighs, she said, “We all do, Jonah. Trusting someone is one of the most difficult things in the world for a lot of us to do.”
“I know.” He slid her a careful look. “I just… I’ve let my distrust control me for a long time. Hell, it almost cost me you. And I know there are things that we’ll need to talk about. I just… Can you give me some time?”
“Okay,” she breathed out, wishing she could hug him. Just hold him in her arms, hard and tight, until she’d squeezed out all the hurt that was still buried down somewhere deep inside of him. “I can do that.”
He reached over and grabbed her hand, lifting it to his lips for a kiss. “Thank you, baby.” Setting her hand on his powerful thigh, he held it pressed there beneath the warm weight of his own as he said, “Christ, this is not how I wanted this night to go. I wanted you to relax and have fun with my friends. Not get a fucking grenade thrown in your face.”
She gave a soft laugh. “Hey, I survived. What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger, right?”
“It won’t happen again, Jace. My job is to protect you and make you happy. I won’t fail in that a second time.”
“Jonah, life gets messy sometimes. You love your friends and they’re a huge part of your life. So if we’re together, they’re going to be a huge part of mine too.” She just hoped to God that it wasn’t Lucas who was behind the weird texts, because that would suck.
He made a right-hand turn, and then he cut her another glittering look. One that was fierce and determined as hell. “No ifs, Jace. No fucking ifs. This is solid. It’s real. And I’m not giving it up for anything.”
Her breath hitched and her heart tumbled, lips trembling with emotion as she wet them with the tip of her tongue. Her hand was still on his hard thigh, and she squeezed the powerful muscle beneath her fingers, finally ready to take what might be the biggest gamble of her entire life. But it felt right and wonderful and sweet, and she didn’t want to tear it apart and dissect it until there was nothing left but worry and indecision. She wanted to take a flying leap at this gorgeous, beautiful man, and have faith that he would catch her. Hold her.
Maybe one day even love her.
He got lucky and found parking right in front of her building, slotting the SUV into the tight space like a professional driver. Coughing a little to clear the nerves from her throat, she kept her gaze on his rugged profile as she said, “Let’s go out tomorrow night. Just the two of us.” She drew in a quick breath, then slowly let it out. “All night.”
He turned the car off, and she knew he understood what she was saying by the way he turned his head and looked at her. It was like he wanted to pull her out onto the gleaming hood, spread her legs, and bury himself so deep inside her she couldn’t ever get him out.
Like he wanted to eat her alive, taking his goddamn time to do it.
“Why?” he scraped out, the quiet question surprising her.
“Why?” She frowned as she pulled her hand off his thigh, nervously rubbing it against her own. “Um, don’t you want to?”
She noticed that his chest was starting to rise and fall with his hard, jagged breaths. “I’m fucking dying to. It’s all I think about, every minute of every day. But I don’t want to push you before you’re ready.”
Her relief was so sharp and piercing, she had to smile. “And I’m saying that I am.”
The look in his beautiful blue eyes was all burning heat and lust, making her melt. “Jus
t tell me that you’re not doing this because of Lucas. And not because of Denny and Gabe, either. Because you saw how we are together. Friends and nothing more. She feels like family to me now, and that’s all.” He shuddered a little and shot her a wry smile. “To be honest, the idea of touching her kinda skeeves me out. It’d be like fooling around with my sister, if I had one.”
“That’s… Um, yeah, we don’t need to talk about that in any more detail. And no. I’m not trying to hold on to you with sex.” She kept her gaze locked tight with his, hoping he could see the truth of what she was about to say written all over her face. That he could hear it in her words. “But as awful as what happened tonight was, it’s made me realize that I don’t need to wait for a time when I trust you, Jonah. Because I already do.”
“Yeah?” He sounded so hopeful it made her eyes burn.
“Yeah,” she whispered, practically squirming in her seat at the thought of finally having his thick, textured cock inside her, his powerful body holding her down, driving her wild. “So Friday night, your gorgeous ass is mine.”
“It’s yours,” he husked, his dark gaze molten and hungry. “And like I’ve told you before, baby, so is all the rest of me.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
Jonah had kissed Jocelyn after they’d gotten Davey all tucked into his bed the night before, and then he’d forced himself to leave, knowing there was no way in hell he could spend the night with her and not be buried balls deep in her beautiful little body before the sun came up.
“I’d take you down to the floor, right now, and lick your sweet little pussy until you came all over my face,” he’d whispered in her ear as he’d held her pressed against her front door. “But then I’d end up fucking you, and I want you to have your special night tomorrow night. So I need to go, baby.”
She’d lifted up onto her tiptoes and kissed the hell out of him again, making him so hard he’d pretty much had to hobble his way back down to the SUV.
He’d swum about fifty laps when he’d gotten home, trying to work off the sexual tension knotting his body, before hitting his sheets. But despite the exercise, he’d slept like shit. He’d missed Jocelyn, same as he’d missed her every night since sleeping in her bed on Monday. That one sweet, perfect night had fucking ruined him, and now he couldn’t lay down without craving the feel of her soft little body snuggled up against him, the quiet sound of her breaths filling his ears.
But on top of the continual craving he had for his beautiful girlfriend, there was a hell of a lot of worry gnawing at him too. They still didn’t have any idea who had sent those two texts to Jocelyn, and neither the security team at Atlas nor James’s team at the club had been able to uncover anything. Not even about the mysterious brunette.
It was like a ghost had decided to send her those messages. A goddamn phantom.
But someone had been watching him these past months, and now they were trying to fuck with his one shot at happiness. A shot he hadn’t ever thought he’d get, and now that he had it, no way in hell was he going to let someone destroy it. Not even one of his best fucking friends in the world, and he planned on tracking Lucas down later that morning and having words with him. The guy had gone too far last night, and Jonah had caught the way Jocelyn had stiffened up even more beside him when Lucas had spouted that shit about him being unable to change his true colors. It was close enough to the second text she’d received to raise both their suspicions, as well as Denny’s and Gabe’s.
Jesus, had Lucas somehow found out about the night he and Gabe had shared Denny? And if so, was this all just some crazy scheme the guy had cooked up to drive a wedge between him and Jocelyn so he could have her for himself? Jonah would have never thought his childhood friend was capable of being such a bastard, but then, he hadn’t thought Lucas would ever pull the kind of stunt he’d pulled last night either. So who knew?
Shit, between the texts, the snooping brunette, the annoying messages from his old man, and then Lucas pulling that crap with Jenny last night, it felt like he was heading hard and fast toward a disaster. Like there was a time bomb sitting on his shoulder, ticking loudly in his ear, and any second now it was going to blow up in his face—and right when everything was finally starting to click into place with Jocelyn. When she was finally willing to go all in with him…and give him her trust.
After thirty-five goddamn years, he was about to have it all. And with an incredible woman who didn’t just want him for his wallet or his dick. Though he was happy to give her every penny he owned, and he sure as hell hoped she was looking forward to tonight as badly as he was, because he knew his control was going to be nonexistent. Knew he was going to be on her and in her from this point forward whenever they were alone, keeping her hot little cunt so full of his cock, she’d come to need it like water and air. Because God only knew that’s how he felt about her.
Needing to work off some of his tension before he headed over to Lucas’s, he changed into his workout gear and went down to the gym. He ran like a demon on the treadmill for a good hour, then hit the weights, but it didn’t help to clear his head. His thoughts were constantly pinging between his upcoming date with Jocelyn and all that other shit, and he knew the only thing that would help mellow him out was if he went ahead and drove over to her place. But she’d warned him that she had to go out shopping for something to wear tonight and wouldn’t be at home. He’d wanted to go with her, so that he could watch her try on outfits and buy her whatever caught her eye, but she’d shot him down. His girl was determined to pay for her own clothes, and apparently this was a “females only” trip, because she was taking Rey with her.
After a cold shower, he headed down to his kitchen, and had just finished putting on a fresh pot of coffee when someone knocked on his front door. His heart jolted in his chest at the thought that Jocelyn might be feeling as desperate as he was and had decided to start their night of scream-the-roof-down sex early. He was already grinning like an idiot as he ripped the door open, but it wasn’t his woman waiting on the welcome mat.
No, fucking Lucas was standing outside his door with a sheepish look on his face and a bottle of Lagavulin in his hand.
“If that’s your peace offering,” Jonah muttered, scowling at the idiot, “then you can shove it up your ass and get the fuck out of here, before I forget how long we’ve been friends and beat the shit out of you for being such a fuck-up.”
“It’s a bribe,” Lucas said, looking and sounding like he was nursing one hell of a hangover. “One that I’m hoping will at least get me past your front door, so that I can start groveling.”
Jonah shook his head at the pathetic ass and sighed. “You’re a dick, you know that?”
Lucas winced. “Yeah, I know. And I’m sorry.”
“Shut the door behind you, asshole,” he tossed over his shoulder, already heading back to the kitchen. He got down two mugs as he heard Lucas close the door, and started pouring the coffee while the guy climbed onto one of the stools on the other side of the breakfast bar. Grabbing each mug, he turned and set one down in front of Lucas, then leaned back against the counter and demanded, “What the hell was your problem last night?”
Rubbing his hands over the top of his head, Lucas let out a tired groan. “I don’t know, man. I have no excuse. I can’t believe I acted like such a bastard.”
“Do you have a problem with me dating Jocelyn?”
Lucas’s brows lifted over his bloodshot eyes. “What? No. Hell no.”
Jonah scowled. “Then why bring Jenny as your date? Why try to throw me under a fucking relationship-killing bus the first time I bring Jace and Davey around everyone?”
Turning even paler than he’d been when he’d gotten there, Lucas said, “Fuck, she didn’t break up with you, did she?”
“No.”
“Thank God,” he muttered with relief, his broad shoulders slumping.
“But it hurt her, Lucas. And, fuck, it hurt me too. I expected better of you.”
“I know. I know,” he
said, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes. “I just… I’ve got a lot of twisted crap going on in my head right now. And I’d had too much to drink.” Dropping his hands, Lucas gave him a sad, grim smile. “So for some fucked-up reason, I guess it just seemed like a good idea to drag you down into the shit right along with me. I mean, hell, that’s how it’s always been, right? You and me, suffering down in the pit together.”
Fuck. Jonah didn’t want to, but he understood. Because while he’d found something amazing to pull him out of all that crap, Lucas hadn’t. The guy was still buried in it, trying to get by day by day the best that he could.
Walking the three steps it took him to reach the breakfast bar, he set his mug down and sighed. “I don’t like what you did. It was fucked up. But I get it. Just don’t ever think about pulling that bullshit again.”
“I won’t,” Lucas said on a harsh exhale. “I swear it, man.”
“Good. Because it’s bad enough you acted like that in front of Jace,” he clipped, his brows still knitted with tension. “I want to beat your ass into the ground for it so badly it’s taking everything I’ve got to stay on this side of the counter. But you ever pull anything like it in front of Davey, and I will not trust you around either of them ever again. You understand what I’m saying?”
Lucas nodded so hard he looked like a fucking bobblehead. “Yeah. I get it. I know I screwed up. And I’ll apologize to Jocelyn.”
Jonah nodded back at the loveable jackass, then picked up his mug, finally taking a drink of his coffee, while Lucas did the same.
“So, uh, had you told her?” Lucas asked, curling both hands around his mug as he braced himself on his forearms and hunched forward. “You know, about the club?”
Jonah lifted one hand to the back of his neck and rubbed at the knotted muscles there. “She knew it existed—but she didn’t have any details.”
“Fuck,” Lucas groaned under his breath, dropping his head forward. “I really put my foot in it.”
The Next Play: Part Three Page 9