What Matters Most

by Malori, Reana

  The worry and stress of not knowing whether or not Evan was okay for all those weeks just faded away as they spent hours talking and laughing with each other. Conversations like that, she knew, were the building blocks of their friendship and how she had come to care so much for him over these months. After all that had gone before, he was no longer just a friend for her son. As a woman, she wanted more from him. Now all she had to do was figure out how to grab hold of him and never let go.

  This had to be handled the right way, because Dusty would be hurt beyond measure if something happened and Evan was no longer around. Yes, her desire and need for this man was strong, but her son was the most important thing to her. If that meant stepping back and foregoing her own needs and desires, then so be it. Dusty was her whole life and she wanted—no, needed—a man who would understand that. While everything in her prayed that Evan was that man, she would never take that chance. This situation had to be right for both of them, and changing the dynamics of her relationship with Evan would change her entire world. The gnawing question that kept raising its ugly head centered on whether or not Evan was willing and able to accept them as a package deal.

  “Need any help?”

  Sierra must have jumped ten feet in the air as Evan’s voice whispered those three little words in her ear. She must have been taking too long and he had come to check on her.

  *****

  Evan knew Sierra was running from him. He had noticed the change in her breathing pattern and the pulse at the base of her neck speeding up before she sped off into the kitchen. Oh, yeah, she felt the attraction just as much as he did. After giving her a few minutes to gather herself, Evan lifted himself off the couch and followed behind her. He stood there watching her for a few seconds, amazed that this opportunity was in front of him.

  No one would ever call him an angel, and he wouldn’t have accepted the title if they tried. He had done things in the heat of the battle, in the name of God, country, and Corps, that would make most people turn away from him in disgust. But somewhere in his life, in his wicked, crazy, questionable life, he must have done something good to deserve this chance. Evan knew he would have to woo her and prove this wasn’t a fluke. This was not a fleeting wave of emotion brought on by an online friendship and his happiness at being home. He knew he wanted something more with her, to share more of himself and his life with her. Giving Sierra time to get to know him was one thing, but he was bound and determined to make her see the man standing in front of her.

  Of course, there was also Dusty to consider. He would never do anything to harm that little boy, and he wanted to make sure Sierra knew just how serious about her he truly was before anything was said to Dusty about the two of them.

  After a few more seconds, he moved away from the doorway to stand behind her. He noticed her eyes were closed and she seemed to be talking to herself.

  “Need any help?” While he wanted to ask her if she wanted him, needed him, desired him, all he could muster were those three little words. All their emails, the Skype messages, and every detail they had shared with each other during the past six months had brought them to this moment—and those simple words. No one would guess they held so much meaning to him, much more than she could realize as he waited with bated breath for her response. When she jumped and turned toward him, there was no way he could stop the smile that spread across his face. Not even if he wanted to. “I didn’t mean to scare you. You were in here a while, and I wanted to make sure you were able to get the bottle open.”

  “No… No, I’m fine. I was just thinking.”

  He inched closer to her, his hands going on either side of her and resting on the counter. Her sensuous, full lips were just inches away from his. God, she was tempting him like nothing else could. “About what, exactly?”

  “Um…well…” He noticed she couldn’t seem to take her eyes off his lips.

  “It’s okay, I already know.” With that, he slowly lowered his lips to hers, his mouth pressing lightly against hers as he gave them both time to get used to the sensation. Such a simple thing, but so much was said in that tender but passionate kiss. When she gave a little throaty moan, he took that as his cue to deepen the kiss. His tongue snaked out, rubbing against her lips, coaxing her to let him in.

  Her hands reached up to clasp his arms tightly, her fingers clenching against his biceps, pulling him closer to her. Removing his hands from the counter, he wrapped them around her, one hand traveling up her back to grab her hair, deepening the kiss and communicating his desire for her. He could feel his rock-hard erection pressing into her warmth, and he almost lost it right then and there. This woman was going to be the death of him. Her taste, her scent, and the softness of her womanly form all called to him and he wanted it all.

  Whimpers and moans from both of them filled the room. The air was thick with desire and sexual need. The hand that wasn’t holding her hair snaked down her side and grabbed her thigh, just under the curve of her ass, lifting her leg so he could sink even farther into the “V” of her body. Desire coursed through him like nothing else before. He wanted her more than he wanted his next breath. Breaking the kiss, he began kissing her neck, just under her ear.

  “Sierra, I need you.” Raw need came through in every word.

  “Evan, I—”

  Sierra did not get a chance to finish that sentence, because right then they both heard a sound come from upstairs. Dusty was playing a video game and yelled out something at the characters on the screen. They broke apart quickly, their breath coming in pants and their lips swollen.

  Sierra looked down at his erection, which he knew was clearly visible in his slacks, and he saw the haze of lust in her gaze.

  Evan rubbed a hand across his face. His raw need for her was at the surface and wanted to break free. The need to claim his woman was a new feeling for him, and it was hard to contain the desire coursing through his veins, but he knew now was not the time. “Keep looking at me like that, Sierra, and I’m never going to leave.” It was definitely time for him to go home. Things had gone a bit too far, and he needed to be careful. When she continued to just look at him, her top teeth biting into her lip, it took everything he had to take a step back from her and put some distance between the two of them.

  Evan watched Sierra fix her hair and adjust her clothing as she seemed to struggle with the words she wanted to say. “You’re right Evan; I’m not sure what came over me. I never do that, you have to believe me.”

  “What came over you is the same thing that came over me. We want each other. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

  “Yeah, but Dusty could have come down and seen us.”

  “I know.” He inhaled deeply and leaned back against the kitchen counter, crossing his arms to keep from reaching for her. “Which is why I should go home. I want to make sure you know that my friendship with Dusty is not the reason I want you, and my desire for you is not the reason for my friendship with Dusty.”

  “We’re a package deal, Evan.” As he watched Sierra turn away from him before uttering these words, he realized he hadn’t managed to express what he was really trying to say. Evan was fidgety and unsure about where things were going. Yes, he knew allowing his need and desire to rise to the surface at this juncture was too soon, but he had seen too much death and not enough living. Going after what he wanted was all he knew at this point, but he recognized he needed to take another approach.

  Slowly reaching out a hand to her, he traced her forearm lightly with his fingertips. Enough to let her know that he was there with her, but that he was willing to go slower. “I know, and I’m happy you are. But I want you because you are a sexy, desirable woman whom I can’t stop thinking about. Your lips, your curves, your smile, and everything else about you. I want us to do this right. If it takes two weeks or two months, I’m bound and determined to make this work.” His other hand reached for her chin and lifted her face to his. “But know this--I will do whatever is needed, take whatever time you want
, in order for us to do this right. I know you and Dusty are a package deal, and I prefer it that way.”

  Evan released her chin, his other hand falling away from rubbing the soft skin on her arm, and turned toward the living room. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and willed himself not to rush things. It was going to be a long-ass night, and now he had nothing else to look forward to but a cold shower. Back in the living room, he grabbed his keys and wallet, and Sierra called Dusty downstairs to say goodbye for the night.

  Dusty gave him their special handshake created earlier at dinner and asked if Evan would be over the next day.

  “Maybe, buddy, we’ll see. I still have to unpack a few things, call my mom, and run some errands. But I’ll try, okay?” Evan said goodbye to both Dusty and Sierra and walked out the door. He stood on the porch until he heard all the locks engage and then walked to his car so he could make that long drive home alone.

  Chapter Four

  Evan had a headache. Training newbies was bad enough, but training civilians with too much education but not enough common sense was almost too much for anyone to have to put up with. His patience was at an end, and he was ready to snap someone in two. How could people who had no experience in being deployed to a war zone, who had no clue about what is was really like to see an IED rip someone to shreds, truly understand the importance of finding these devices in advance? That was the whole purpose of his job stateside--Counter-Improvised-Explosive-Device operations.

  As he looked over at the Marines taking a break, he picked up on the looks of frustration they were sending toward the civilians. The situation was tense and tempers were high. Today was just not a good day to force things. Running his hand over his face, he knew it was time to take a break. Nothing more would get done today.

  “All right, everybody, let’s wrap this up for the day. I think we’ve done all we can for the moment. Look over the maps and schematics I gave you yesterday. We’ll regroup tomorrow at 0600.”

  As Evan gathered his gear to head home for the day, he couldn’t help but think about how quickly things had changed. It had been one full month since he had come back stateside and things were finally settling down, not only with his job, but with his personal life as well. His house was coming together, but he still noticed the bare walls compared to the homey feeling of Sierra’s house. The possibility of being called back overseas was always something he feared, and he knew that was one of the reasons he could not fully commit to making his small house a home. At least not just yet.

  It was no surprise that, despite his daily routine coming together, Evan was still having trouble sleeping. The tension of bringing Marines and civilians together and the lack of warmth in his house caused a certain kind of discomfort he could not shake off. It was no wonder the nightmares came as often as they did. Though he had found a bit of solace over the past weeks, he wasn’t sure what drove him to dial her number after the first dream that night woke him from a fitful sleep. Hearing Sierra’s voice dripping sleep and sexiness as she picked up the phone when he called, made him feel raw with need and emotion. Her voice soothed him and held the demons at bay, even if for a little while.

  “Hello? Evan, is everything okay?”

  “Hey, Sierra. I’m sorry to call so late. I know you’re sleeping, but…”

  “It’s okay, Evan. Wait, what time is it? What’s the matter? Do I need to come over there?”

  Laughter filled his voice as he realized she was ready and willing to come and protect him within a moment’s notice. That was when he realized she had truly captured his heart and soul. “I’m fine, baby. I just needed to hear your voice. It’s been a tough night.”

  “Umm, did you just call me baby?” The noise of her shifting around in the bed came through the phone, and his mind could not help but conjure up images of what she looked like, lying in bed tangled in her warm sheet. When she spoke again, the image did not go away; it only became more vivid.

  “Yeah, I did. It just feels right. I hope that’s okay.” As he said the words, his heartbeat began to slow and his breathing calmed. Simply hearing her voice over the phone helped him hold on to what was important in life, the things that mattered most. “I was just wondering…maybe you and I could have some time together, just me and you.” Inexplicably, he felt nervous as he continued. “Dusty wrangled a promise out of me to take him to play laser something or other early Saturday, so if you’re okay with it, I can take him, along with my other Marine buddy and his son. That way he has another kid his age with him. That night, you and I can have a date and I can take you somewhere special.” Evan knew he sounded like a sixteen-year-old asking his high school crush to the homecoming dance, and that almost made him laugh out loud.

  No other woman made him feel this way—only Sierra. He heard her sigh into the phone, and he couldn’t tell if it was good or bad. It had been almost four weeks of him playing by the rules since that first night in the kitchen. She had to see he was the real deal. They had even come to see him at work one day so they could all go to dinner once he got off. It had initially surprised him that he had felt such pride in introducing them to his colleagues and work friends. He quickly realized he was proud because he truly felt the three of them were becoming more like a family, and he wanted to shout it from the rooftops that he had them in his life.

  “Yes, Evan, I think I would like that very much.”

  Evan smiled widely at hearing her words, “Good. I’ll make all the arrangements. We’ll just need a sitter for the little guy, and I promise to have you back home no later than midnight.”

  “Thanks, Evan.” A loud yawn came through the phone. “I’m so sorry. I guess I’m fading again.”

  “I’ll let you go to sleep again.”

  “Are you sure? Do you still need me?”

  Those words awakened something in Evan’s heart that could never be put to sleep again. “Sierra, I will always need you. Goodnight, baby.”

  “Um, goodnight, Evan.”

  *****

  Sierra was nervous as hell. After so many years, this was her first real date with a man she was attracted to. Sure, she had been on several blind dates, but those hadn’t really held any meaning for her, and she had already made up her mind not to enjoy herself. This situation was completely different. This was Evan.

  Since he had returned home, she felt as if he had waged a war against her libido, and day by day he was breaking down the barriers that held her back from him. After that kiss in her kitchen, he had been on his best behavior. Not to say that he had been an angel, but it was the little things that mattered most. He would run his hand up her arm as he walked into the house. When she was doing dishes after lunch or dinner, he would come up behind her and stand just a hair’s breadth away from her and ask her if she needed anything. All she had to do was lean back slightly and she would be flush against his body. Several times, she found herself swaying back as if her body was acting under its own volition.

  Who knew saying things like, “do you need anything” and “is there anything else I can do” or even “Dusty’s asleep…” could make her want to rip her clothes off in her own damn kitchen. She would swear he was tempting her with his words on purpose. No man’s voice was that damn sexy when saying such mundane things. Evan knew what he was doing to her, and Sierra was certain it was part of his plan to make her want him. That devilish smile gave him away every time, and after making her practically melt from need, he would just walk away.

  However, two could play at that game. Tonight was a test of sorts. She would not let him get the best of her, and she would show him she could hold her own. Twirling in front of the mirror one last time before he arrived—because he was always on time—she realized she looked damn good. He had purchased her a pair of champagne-and-white diamond earrings a few days ago, which she wore tonight at his request. When he had shown her the earrings, her first thought was to refuse, but he convinced her to keep them by telling her he had spent too much time saving his money
for a rainy day, and now that he had the chance to do something fun and spoil her and Dusty, she needed to just let him do it. Plus, it made him happy, so if she wanted him happy, she had to accept the gift. After that, what choice did she have but to accept?

  Looking at the earrings as they danced in the light and highlighted her face, she realized he had chosen well. They were absolutely beautiful, and she was proud to wear them tonight for their date. Just then, she heard the doorbell ring and quickly grabbed her purse as she made her way to answer the door.

  Sierra took a deep breath and exhaled as she opened the door to Evan. As she looked at him standing there in his suit and looking so damn sexy, she couldn’t fathom why no woman had scooped him up before now. Whatever the reason, she was just happy he was here at her door waiting for her.

  “Hey, you.” Evan’s gaze traveled up her body from her feet to the top of her hair. “Damn, you are beautiful.” She stepped back as he walked into the house, and she could feel his gaze on her, watching her hips sway within the within the flowing dress. The next words he spoke were about his little buddy. “Where’s Dusty?”

  “He’s at his best friend’s house already. I dropped him off early, right after he cleaned up from your laser tag outing. It’s been a while since he’s been able to spend the night at Giles’ house and they were both too full of excitement to wait.”