by Lori Wilde
“So why have the crazy frenzy if it’s all going to be redone?” she asked, a little breathless from the rapid scramble.
“To make decorating our town tree a community affair,” he said, reaching over to twirl a strand of her hair around his finger in a gesture so intimate it took the remainder of her breath.
“So what happens next?”
“Just wait.”
Even as he said it, people were already joining hands and ringing the tree. Over the outdoors sound system came, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” Everyone sang along, swaying in time to the music. Nate took her right hand, and someone nudged her left. She looked over and saw Raylene standing there, a sad little smile on her face, palm extended.
Shannon took her hand, and Raylene squeezed tightly as the town welcomed the new Christmas tree in communal song.
It was hokey. And sappy. Far too Whovillian after the Grinch stole Christmas, but it was also incredibly sweet. For a woman who had never been part of a close-knit community, it felt treacherously like home.
Standing there, holding Shannon’s hand on one side, her friend Patsy’s hand on the other, and singing “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” Raylene felt something she hadn’t felt in over a year. Optimism.
She couldn’t put her finger on why, especially since she was the town cynic who didn’t fall for schmaltzy crap like a group sing-along, but her spirits suddenly lifted and rose with the combined voices and the touch of hands. She and Shannon could have been mother and daughter celebrating the holidays together.
Was it dumb to pretend that Shannon was the child she’d lost? Yes, probably.
Getting maudlin in your old age, Raylene?
She darted a quick glance over at Shannon who was gazing at Nate with a wary, but awestruck, expression on her face. Clearly, she was falling for the guy but afraid of her feelings.
The song ended. Raylene’s link to Shannon broke as they dropped hands and smiled at each other. She hoped that her own daughter had turned out this well.
“You two have a good night.” She winked at Nate and Shannon. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“That leaves you a lot of leeway,” Patsy observed.
“Yes,” agreed Patsy’s fiancé, the ruggedly handsome sheriff, Hondo Crouch, as he joined the conversation. “Let’s put it another way. Don’t do anything illegal.”
Shannon blushed, ducked her head.
“We’ll try to be good,” Nate said, draping an arm around Shannon’s shoulders. “But we’re not making any promises.”
“We’re off to hear Sarah do a reading of her new Christmas book at Ye Olde Book Nook. Would you two like to come along?” Patsy asked.
Nate’s eyes glittered as he looked at Shannon. “We’ve made other plans.”
“Have a good time.” Patsy waved and turned to Raylene. “How about you? Coming to Sarah’s reading?”
The peace and hope that Raylene had felt earlier evaporated. Everyone was pairing off, and she was the only one alone in her group of friends. Even eighty-six-year-old Dotty Mae had a new beau.
“My chest is feeling a little tight,” Raylene said. “Indigestion. I shouldn’t have eaten that hot dog. Give Sarah my regrets.”
Patsy put a hand on Raylene’s forearms, met her eyes. They’d been friends so long Patsy could almost read her mind. “Are you sure you want to be alone tonight?”
“I’m fine. Beat it.” Raylene waved a hand in the direction of the bookstore across the street where kids in pajamas with books tucked under their arms waited in line with their parents for the book-launch party.
Patsy folded her three middle fingers then extended her thumb and pinky finger and held it up to her ear in a “call me later” gesture.
“Shoo!” Raylene said.
Hondo took Patsy’s hand and led her away, throwing “Goodnight, Ray,” over his shoulder.
The rest of the crowd had dispersed, as well, leaving bits of litter in their wake. On the other side of the courthouse lawn, the plywood structure of Santa’s Workshop was closing up. Young women dressed as Elves put away the faux presents in a giant toy box, so they wouldn’t blow off during the night.
Santa stood from his thronelike chair. Every time Raylene looked at the display, she thought of the scene from A Christmas Story in which Ralphie got so nervous he forgot to ask for the thing he wanted the most. A Red Ryder B.B. gun.
It was her favorite holiday movie. She particularly liked the part about the leg lamp.
“Your legs are much hotter than any leg lamp, baby,” Earl would say every year when they watched the movie, a big bowl of buttered popcorn parked on the couch between them. “You can wear fishnets until you’re ninety.”
This year there would be no one to watch A Christmas Story with. Earl Junior wasn’t coming home. He blamed her for chasing Earl off, and she deserved his anger. Plus, he had a new girlfriend, and he planned on spending the holiday with her family in Seattle.
Santa started down the courthouse steps. He walked with a familiar gait that caught Raylene’s eye. For one stupid second, she thought, Earl?
Without even meaning to, Raylene started toward Santa, her pulse bounding in her throat. She drew closer.
He descended the last step and hesitated.
Their eyes met.
Green eyes. The same color as Earl’s, but the thick white beard cloaked the rest of his features.
You’re seeing things. Letting your imagination run away with you. This can’t be Earl.
He was eight feet away from her. She took another step, whispered, “Earlie?”
Something akin to panic flared in Santa’s eyes. He ducked his head, pivoted on one heel of his black boots, and stalked quickly around the corner of the courthouse.
Raylene rushed after him, her thoughts a wild jumble. It’s Earl. No, it’s not. He’s got the same green eyes. You’re imagining things, because you want it to be Earl. Why did he run off?
“Earl!” she cried. “Earl, wait.”
By the time she made it around the side of the courthouse, no one was there. Santa had disappeared completely, leaving Raylene feeling like a stupid, sentimental old fool.
CHAPTER NINE
After they left the Christmas tree decorating event, Nate took Shannon to the Marina beach to watch the float procession of lights. Communal campfires had been set up by the city. Couples, parents, and kids ringed the fire pits, roasting hot dogs and marshmallows, waiting for the Christmas water parade to begin.
“This town goes all-out for Christmas,” Shannon observed.
“Twilight depends on the tourism dollar. They make the most of every holiday. If you think this is bad, you should be here for Valentine’s Day.” Nate slipped an arm around her waist. “Will you be here for Valentine’s Day?”
“I don’t know.”
It was an honest answer, but not the one he’d wanted to hear. What could he do to convince her to stay? He could court her until he was blue in the face, but if she wasn’t ready, she wasn’t ready.
“You want to find a seat by a fire or hug the railing?” He nodded to where a group stood on a pier that jutted over the lake. Outdoor radiant heaters had been positioned in strategic places on the dock to compensate for the cold.
“The railing,” she said. “I want a front-row seat.”
They found an empty spot at the railing not far from where one of those heaters was spreading out warm air. In the distance to their left, they could see the float boats approaching from beyond the river bridge, festooned in multicolored lights.
Nate stood slightly behind her and tilted his head for a good stare at her fanny that looked so sexy in blue jeans. His palm itched to cup those sweet cheeks. But he wouldn’t. He’d promised he’d take things slow. She needed time for her secrets to seep out. He didn’t want to rus
h her, but man alive her sweet scent and that gorgeous ass were driving him crazy. He curled his hands into fists to keep from touching her.
“This is fun,” she said in a way that told him she hadn’t had a lot of fun in her life. Over the course of their dates, she’d been careful not to say much about her past. He’d let it go, but now it wasn’t enough for him. He wanted to know everything there was to know about her. Down to the very last detail.
“I was thinking,” Nate said. “It might make it easier for you to tell me your secrets if I told you some of mine.”
She turned toward him, her eyes searching his face. “You have secrets?”
He nodded.
“I thought you hated secrets.”
“I do. That’s why I’m coming clean.”
“You don’t have to tell me anything.”
“I want to,” he murmured. “Full disclosure.”
“What if I can’t reciprocate?”
“I can accept that.”
“Are you sure?”
Was he? “I am.”
“So let’s hear the secrets.”
“I was a sneaky kid. At Christmas, I would carefully untape the ends of the packages to read the labels on the boxes, and then I’d tape them back up. My mom caught on after a couple of years, and started putting the gifts in different boxes. One time I thought she’d gotten me a pair of panty hose and I freaked out. Turns out she put a Hot Wheel car in one of those plastic panty hose eggs to mess with my head.”
Shannon chuckled. “Where does your mother live now?”
“She passed away a few years ago.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Nate.”
“She died of renal failure when I was in Iraq. She never even told me she was sick.” He gazed out at the water, feeling the old pain and remorse. “She didn’t want to bother me while I was on a dangerous mission. That was my mom. Always thinking of others. I regret not being with her in the end. That’s two secrets if you’re keeping track.”
“What about your dad?”
Nate shrugged. “They divorced when I was a kid. He’s got a whole other family. Lives in New Mexico. Leads walking tours.”
“That’s different. Siblings?”
“A half-brother and sister. You?”
She shook her head. “Any other secrets?”
“Lots more,” he said.
“I’m all ears.”
“I told you a couple of mine, can you give a little and tell me about some of yours?”
Her spine stiffened, and her hands curled around the railing. “I was raised by my grandparents.”
“What happened to your mom?”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about that.”
“Okay,” he said agreeably, but his curiosity was killing him. “I was engaged once.”
“That’s not earth-shattering. You’re almost forty. I’d wonder about you if you’d never at least been close to marriage before. What happened?”
“Biggest cliché in the book. I came home from the Middle East for our wedding and learned she was three months pregnant. Only problem was that I’d been on a six month deployment.”
“Ah.”
“She’d gotten pregnant by my best friend. Get this. She still wanted to marry me, though, and raise his kid. I’d be a better parent than Glenn. Those were her exact words.”
Shannon wrinkled her nose. “She sounds like a total peach.”
“That’s one of the reasons why I hate secrets.”
“I could see how that might cause some hard feelings on your part.”
“It took some time for me to get over that betrayal. I don’t love easily,” he said, “but when I do, I give the woman I’m with all of my heart. I don’t hold anything back.”
Shannon inhaled sharply. Nate paused. Had he said too much? But he had to let her know that if something started between them, he was committed to the relationship. If that scared her off, well then maybe that’s exactly what he needed to know.
“I’m looking for someone,” he said, “and I think I’ve found her.”
She turned to stare at him then, as the first lighted boat moved in front of the pier. Around them people were oohing and aahing, but neither Nate nor Shannon was looking at the water. He held her gaze instead, never blinking or glancing away. This was it. The moment where she told him he was coming on too strong and just walked away. Nate held his breath.
But she did not walk away. Instead, she reached down and took his hand. “I’ve just been standing here wondering one thing.”
“What’s that?” he asked, his words coming out all raspy.
“Are you ever going to ask me back to your place?”
Yes, she’d sent the man mixed messages. Telling him to slow down and then asking him to take her back to his place. It was illogical. Impulsive. The kind of thing that could get her hurt. But her body had been yearning for Nate’s since that first day in the bar.
Now here she was in his cabin by the lake. Just the two of them. All alone.
“You want something to drink?” he asked, looking as befuddled as she felt.
Slowly, she shook her head.
He came toward her, sex smoldering in his dark eyes. Shannon’s legs trembled. Everything about this man made her insides quiver and quake.
Was she truly prepared to go down this road? Accept the consequences of her actions?
She’d made an impulsive choice once before and it had promptly come back to bite her in the butt. Did she dare take another risk? She’d been so risk-adverse her whole life that the one time she’d taken a chance it had ended in complete disaster.
And yet . . . she knew this was right just as surely as she’d ignored the warning signs with Peter. The universe had been giving Nate the green light. Whenever she was with him, he made her feel wanted and cared for. It was an amazing feeling.
He canted his head, studied her, looking at once both incredibly masculine and boyishly adorable. “Shannon,” he whispered. “I want this to be—”
“Shh. No more talking.” If he kept talking, she would back out, and Shannon did not want to back out.
The fire in his eyes burned hotter, brighter. Nate was so different from the men she’d grown up around. He possessed a strong, stalwart exterior, but inside he was tender, caring, understanding. He was honorable and brave, with an unexpected humorous side; a complex man who at the same time was uncomplicated and direct. He was an ex Navy SEAL who embraced small-town life. He let people be who they were meant to be without condemnation or judgment.
Nate cupped the back of her head as if she were incredibly fragile glass. His dark irises pulled her in until she couldn’t have looked anywhere else, even if she’d wanted to. She did not want to.
Her pulse tapped faster than when she danced zumba. Take me. Now. Her blood sang even though a tiny vestige of her straightlaced upbringing pushed at the back of her brain. But she was a grown woman. In charge of her own life and her own mistakes. This was her decision, and she embraced it headlong.
He kissed her. His tongue teased her with soft strokes. His callused palm pushed under the hem of her T-shirt and skimmed over her bare belly, as he made appreciative noises in the back of his throat.
They kissed with their eyes open. Both of them old enough to fully understand and accept responsibility for what they were getting into. They weren’t kids. Their tongues dueled as he adeptly reached around to unhook her bra. His fingers found her nipples, teased them with gentle pinches.
A soft moan slid from her lips, and she melded her body against his.
“I want you.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “Need you.”
He tugged her shirt over her head, and then it was her turn, stripping his shirt from his muscular torso. Their gazes hooked as they simultaneously tossed their clothing o
ver their shoulders.
Sexual tension pulsed between them, building to a heated pitch.
Nate went down on his knees in front of her, kissed her lust-swollen breasts. She let out a hissing sound and threaded her fingers through his thatch of thick hair.
His hands encircled her waist. “Beautiful,” he murmured against her belly, setting up a ticklish vibration.
“Bedroom,” she managed to gasp.
He got to his feet, took her hand, and led her down the wood-paneled hallway into the master bedroom, surprisingly neat for an outdoorsy bachelor. Or what she could see of it in the darkness. The bed was made, the floor clean, the chest of drawers free of clutter. The cooler air in his room felt good against her heated skin.
Nate leaned in to kiss her again in the moonlight falling through the open blinds and cutting broad silvery stripes across the plush carpet. His head dropped to nuzzle her neck, one hand splayed against her lower back. Everywhere his damp mouth touched, she broke out in mini forest fires. If he kept this up, she’d be a five-alarm blaze in no time.
Shannon kept stroking his shoulders, feeling the hard muscles tighten beneath her fingers. This wasn’t one of her late night fantasies. It was really happening. She was in Nate’s arms. In his bedroom. They were going to make love.
“I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind from the minute I first saw you,” Nate murmured, his wicked fingers sliding around the waistband of her jeans. He found the snap, worked on it until it popped open. The zipper followed, sliding down like the door of Ali Baba’s cave of treasures to the magic words, “Open Sesame.”
Shannon looked up into his eyes and reached for the closure of his jeans, his body heat radiating through her fingers. He pulled her to him, pressed her against him. He was hard as concrete.
“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, either,” she confessed.
He whipped off his belt and dropped it, the buckle jangling on the floor. In one bold motion, he shucked her jeans to her knees. She held onto his shoulder, kicked them off along with her clogs. Then he stripped off his own pants, so that they both wore nothing except their underwear.