Obsessive

by Lee Heaven

  “Love me,” I squeaked with what felt like my last breath. I wasn’t even sure what I meant. I wasn’t sure what it was going to do.

  I was just hoping that the word love would get through whatever rage was seeping through Jon at this moment.

  My body gave out and I collapsed into the wall. Or was it Jon? Or the floor?

  Was I dead? Am I still alive? Am I breathing?

  Everything is so black. I can’t see anything. I can’t hear anything. It’s all so black and dark. But it’s warm. It feels like someone is wrapped around me. Someone is protecting me.

  “Maggie Pie,” I hear a male voice say.

  No one calls me Maggie Pie. Not since my father died. I don’t remember it but my grandmother told me it was his special nick name for me.

  “Daddy?” I cried out.

  “Oh Maggie Pie, you grew up so beautifully,” I heard him say.

  It was still too dark. I couldn’t see anything. “Daddy where are you? Daddy I need help.”

  “Maggie Pie, you don’t need help. You’re strong. You’re beautiful. You’re everything I had hoped you would grow up to be.”

  “Daddy, please help me,” I cried out again into the blackness.

  “I can’t help you. You know how to win this battle. You were taught by the best. You hold all the answers. All you have to do is open your eyes and fight.”

  I felt the arms that were wrapped around me fade away. Fear washed over me. I wasn’t ready to fight this battle alone. I didn’t want to fight this battle alone. I wanted my daddy. I wanted my mommy.

  “Daddy,” I yelled at the top of my lungs.

  “Open your eyes and fight,” He said one last time.

  My eyes flew open and I started panting for a breath that didn’t seem to want to come easily.

  My eyes focused and immediately landed on Liam who was trying to pull the chains from the pipe off his wrist. Blood poured down his arms from where the metal bit into his skin. Slowly I looked to the left and saw Jacob violently kicking at the wall trying to dislodge the pipe he was tied to with no avail.

  That pipe was cast iron. I knew it wasn’t going anywhere. There was no way either of them would ever dislodge that pipe.

  Jon was at the bottom of the steps. His head resting in his hand and his elbows propped on his knees. There is a slight shake to his head and his shoulders shook as if he was crying and scolding himself at the same time.

  I pushed myself across the floor, inching my way over towards Jacob and Liam. I need them to stop fighting the pipe it’s only going to hurt them and nothing else. I touched Jacobs shoulder and he flinched, but stopped as soon as he saw me. Relief and pain flooded his eyes all at the same time.

  I grabbed Liam’s leg and his body stopped moving. He wanted to scream. I could see it forming in his face. I held my fingers to my lips and shook my head letting him know to stay quiet. I wasn’t sure how this fight was going to go. I wasn’t sure what my move was going to be. But daddy told me I knew how to end this. Daddy said I hold all the answers.

  I’m not sure how long I sat there besides Liam’s leg. I wasn’t sure what move I was going to make. I wasn’t sure how I was going to fix this but I knew I was the answer.

  It was now or never.

  It was time for me to put the end to this battle.

  ~~~

  He didn’t even move his body position once. The whole time I moved around the room he just sat there with his head in his hands. He was muttering to himself.

  I guess I’m gonna have to wing it because I don’t know what I’m doing.

  I sat there looking at Jon for a few minutes. There was no gun in his hand. However, I couldn’t tell if there was one in the waistband of his pants. Looking toward the left, at the table covered in guns and bullets. Could I get one? Could I actually use it?

  Liam and Jimmy had been taking us shooting for almost a year now, just for a situation like this. But the question comes down to will I be able to use it or is there a way I can get out of it without violence.

  A year ago Sarah was kidnapped and was able to get away without using the gun that was held on her. She said she just remained calmed, well as calm as she could get, and came up with a plan on how to just outsmart him.

  That’s all I had to do was think of how I could outsmart Jon. I can do this. I’m smart enough to figure out how to get out of this.

  My throat was killing me. It hurt so badly from where he squeezed it. I knew my neck was going to be bruised. Probably so bad that it will be black instead of just bruised. I’m still not sure why he attacked me the way he did. I mean really I’ve been nothing but cooperative and I’ve barely said anything.

  The black box started ringing and Jon made no move to answer it. I shuffled across the floor and picked it up. “Hello,” I said very hoarsely as my throat was hurting.

  “Maggie are you all right? Did he hurt you?” Detective Kelly sounded worried.

  “Yes, but I’m fine.”

  I noticed as I talked Jon head came up and he stared at me. The look on his face was like he couldn’t believe I was still alive. He looked beat. He looked defeated. But there was something there that told me he was holding out just a little longer. There was something there that told me he was planning something that would end this, and that was not a good thing.

  “How’s Tristan?” I hadn’t heard anything about him since he was taken into surgery. If he didn’t make it I wasn’t going to make it out of here myself. The guilt would eat me away and I didn’t want that.

  “He made it through surgery. He hasn’t woken up yet but doctors believe he will soon. They think it’s his body reacting to the trauma and when he’s ready he’ll wake up.”

  Oh god! Tristan was in a coma because of me.

  “Tobias?”

  I noticed how when I said Tobias’s name Jon stood. The anger in his eyes hardened. Fear rose in me and I knew this was going to crack soon. He walked over to the table with the guns. My eyes never left him.

  “He’s going crazy. The apartment was torn apart when I was there a few hours ago.”

  “Just like Decker when Sarah disappeared,” I said to no one particular.

  I watched as Jon picked up a 9mm and slipped it into the waist of his jeans. I watched as he loaded another gun. He put his hands on the table and dropped his head. When he picked it up the look on his face froze me to my spot.

  The phone slid from my hand and landed in my lap. I could hear Detective Kelly calling my name, but I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t pick up the phone. All I could do was watch as Jon walked over to Liam and put the gun to his temple.

  Jon bent to unlock the chain from the pipe, “Try something and I’ll pull the trigger faster than you could move.”

  He moved Liam over so he was kneeling a foot in front of me. He grabbed me by the elbow and pulled me to a standing position. He shoved the gun in my hand and raised it so it was pointed at Liam’s forehead.

  Tears were streaming down my face again. Oh god, I can’t believe this is happening.

  Jon pulled the other gun from his waistband and pointed it me, “You want to live, kill him.”

  “No!” I screamed.

  “Kill him or you die,” he screamed at me.

  “I don’t care. Kill me. I would rather die than be stuck here with you. I would rather die than kill him.”

  “Kill him!”

  “No!”

  Jon walked over and put the end of the gun to my forehead. I didn’t flinch. I would rather die than let something happen to Liam or Jacob. “Empty that fucking gun into his body.”

  I stilled the tremors that were running through my body. I calmed my voice and looked right into his eyes, “I would rather die. Go ahead pull the trigger, because I won’t kill him.”

  Jon turned from me. It was just for a second, but it was enough for him to come up with another plan. He walked to Jacob and shoved the gun into his forehead, with his free hand he unhooked Jacob from the pipe.

&nb
sp; Jon positioned Jacob on his knees and stood between him and Liam. He looked at me and smiled. Why was he smiling? This wasn’t a situation to smile about.

  “Kill him or I’ll kill Jacob. Then after Jacob I’ll kill Liam and you will have to live with both of them on your conscience for the rest of your life.”

  Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I lowered the gun and dropped my head. The tears were falling again. He had me backed into a corner. I could care less about my life. I would rather die than harm anyone else. How was I going to get out of this now? How was I going to save both of their lives?

  “What’s it going to be Maggie? Who are you going to save? Who’s going to die?”

  I was shaking my head no. I couldn’t do this. I can’t do this. “Jon, don’t make me do this.”

  Even though the rage hadn’t disappeared from his face, his voice was calmer as he said, “Maggie, you don’t have a choice any more. I waited and waited for you to come to me. I waited for you to love me back. Everyone stood in our way. Now it’s time to take care of some of those people who stood in our way. You and I will be together. Empty that fucking gun!”

  I felt Liam’s warm hand wrap around my wrist. I looked into his face. He was remarkably calm. I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t be terrified. I was terrified.

  “Maggie, we’ve talked about this day. We’ve prepared for this day. This is what Jimmy and I have been preparing you and Sarah for.”

  Oh god he was right. Jimmy and he had been taking Sarah and me to the shooting range for close to nine months now. We’ve gone over this same scenario many times. I knew how to handle this. I know how to fight.

  Daddy was right I had the answers.

  I nodded my head at Liam. He dropped his arms to his side, the chains still wrapped around his wrist clattered loudly to the floor.

  I could still hear screaming through the receiver of the black box. I’m not sure who is yelling or what is being said, but I can hear voices.

  I readjusted my grip on the gun. My palms were sweating. I’ve never shot outside the shooting range and I was scared. I was terrified. Liam looked so calm. I was trying to pull the calmness in for myself but I couldn’t.

  Jon kept leering at me, the gun still pressed to Jacobs head. Jacob looked absolutely terrified. I was terrified. I couldn’t do this. I can’t do this. This involves killing him. God how do I survive this?

  I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Liam’s forehead, “I love you.” I shook my head slightly and as I straightened out I whispered, “I’m sorry.”

  I adjusted my stance and brought the gun up so it was positioned pointing at Liam’s left shoulder. My hand was shaking uncontrollably, so I brought my other hand up to steady it out.

  Jon was screaming over and over to kill him. Jacob kneeled there terrified with tears rolling down his face and Liam looked so calm. He knew what was coming. He knew what I had to do was what was needed.

  I took two slow deep breaths to steady my nerves. Jon lowered the gun from Jacobs temple just enough that if it went off by accident it would only hit his shoulder.

  “Kill him,” Jon screamed again. “Don’t stop until that gun is empty!”

  I took one more deep breath and raised my head. I raised the gun so it was level with Liam’s head but not pointing at him yet. All I had to do was twist and pull the trigger. Pull the trigger and end a man’s life.

  The voices from the black box merged with Jon’s continual screaming of kill him and Jacob’s heavy breathing. Everything started to fade out and all I could see and hear was Liam’s smile and the words he was whispering under his breath, “Do it.”

  With one last breath I gripped the gun tighter. I took a step back. As I twisted I pulled the trigger. I wasn’t sure how many times I pulled the trigger. I wasn’t sure how many bullets were in the clip. But it was the sound of the empty chamber clicking as I kept pulling the trigger that stopped me.

  I watched as his eyes rolled back. His body swayed to the right. His shirt was turning red from blood; it was seeping out of his chest. He swayed one more time and then collapsed to the floor.

  I heard nothing. The blood rushing through my ears drowned everything out. I felt the gun being taken from my hand and looked up. There was a full length mirror on the wall in front of me and as I looked at my reflection all I could see was the blood splatter I was covered in.

  His blood. I killed him.

  Chapter 18

  There’s a cop standing in front of me asking questions. I have absolutely no idea what he is saying. I can’t hear him talking. I’m still staring at myself in the mirror. I think I’m in shock. I can’t move. I can’t talk, I can’t even hear.

  There are no tears.

  I’m not even sure if I’m breathing on my own. I’m not sure if I can walk. I need to get his blood off me. I can feel it burning my skin; it wants to burn me, it wants to scar me just so I have a constant reminder.

  I can see a light flash every couple of seconds and I’m sure there’s a click to match it. The cop is circling me over and over making sure they have enough pictures of me. Why? Why do they want pictures of me covered in blood? Why do they want pictures of my rug burned back or my black neck?

  There’s a second cop walking around me wiping blood off of different parts of my body with q-tips and then sticking them in little plastic vials. I was beginning to feel like a science experiment.

  There’s another cop standing in front of me now. He smells of meat, gross disgusting meat. It churns my stomach. He holds a folded pair of sweat pants and a sweat shirt out to me. I raised my hand to take them from him.

  As I looked at my hand covered in blood, the panic started. I couldn’t breathe. I was gasping. It felt like I was dying all over again.

  Jacob was at my side instantly. He had his one arm wrapped around my waist holding me up. His free hand held a wet washcloth and he began to slowly wipe the blood from my hands and arms. He kept whispering ‘shhhh’ in my ear over and over again.

  I’m covered in blood. I just shot a man. Wait no, I just killed a man. I was held captive for almost sixty hours. I was almost choked to death.

  This wasn’t supposed to happen. All that practice in the gun range was just to make Jimmy and Liam feel better. I wasn’t supposed to actually use what they taught us. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

  My chest hurts. I can’t breathe. I looked into Jacob’s eyes; he was panicking just as much as I was. I could see it, he may have been calm on the exterior, but he was affected by everything to. He had to sit there and watch as I was almost choked to death. He sat there and watched as I held a gun to Liam, as I begged to get out of it. He sat and watched as I pulled the trigger over and over until the gun was empty.

  Eight shots. Eight times I pulled the trigger. Eight bullets emptied from the clip. Eight bullets ripped holes into his body. Eight bullets took his life. Eight bullets.

  I looked into the mirror again, the blood was all gone, and I was in the sweats that the cop held out, stupid smelly cop. I watched as he put my clothes into an evidence bag. I looked up at Jacob again, did he dress me in the sweats or did I do it myself?

  He pulled on my arm, “Maggie, come on, it’s time to go to the hospital. They need to check you over.”

  I nodded at him and my legs started to move. I didn’t look down as I started to walk; I only got two steps before I kicked something. I looked down. It was his shoe.

  Jacob was quickly lifting my face, “Don’t look, just step over. Look at me. Keep your eyes on me.”

  It was then that my eyes welled with tears. They didn’t fall down my cheeks, but it was the first sign of being alive I’ve had in almost two hours.

  I followed Jacob as he pulled on my arm, up the stairs, through the kitchen and into the front hall. The door was still propped open with his tool box. A sob escaped my throat. I could feel my knees weaken. I swayed for a moment, and then Jacob had me out on the front porch.

  I had to shield my eyes from the sun. There were police
all over my yard, walking and talking. They kept walking by me like I wasn’t even there.

  Holding on to Jacob’s hand as tight as I could, I walked down the three steps into the yard. I looked around at the blocked off street. I could see the news vans camped out at both ends of the street. I didn’t want to have to deal with the press. I just want to crawl into a dark hole and never come out.

  This wasn’t supposed to happen. He shouldn’t be dead.

  “Maggie?” Detective Kelly was standing in front of me. “Maggie?”

  I looked up at him like I was a deer caught in the headlights of a car. Did he expect me to answer him? I don’t know if I even could.

  “Maggie I need you to go to the hospital and get check out,” Detective Kelly said.

  I had no response. I looked to my left and Jacob was still holding my hand. I felt someone take hold of my right hand. I looked over to see a worried face. It was at that time the emotions finally hit. It was then the tears fell. It was then the guttural moan escaped. It was then the sobs started. I collapsed to the ground the grief was just over whelming.

  “I killed him!” I sobbed out.

  He lifted my face to look at him, “You did exactly what you were taught to do.”

  “But I killed him,” I gasped through the tears poured out of my eyes.

  He brushed my tears away. “You did exactly what you had to do. He wouldn’t have let you live, he wouldn’t have let Jacob live.”

  “Liam…”I hiccupped

  “I’m here Maggie, I’m here. Come let’s get to the hospital.”

  I knew he was right. I knew there was no way Jon would have let any of us walk out of there at that point. What I did was the only answer that any of us had. Jon had to die to save the three of us.

  Liam lifted me into his arms and strode toward the ambulance. I couldn’t look back. I knew as he carried me away this was the last time I would ever be near this house. I want it burnt, destroyed, demolished. Whatever it takes I don’t want this place to last one more second in my mind. I can’t remember one happy memory here, and now, now I have the memory of watching Tristan get shot, of watching Jacob and Liam tied to a wall, of being choked till I passed out and finally the memory of the flash of the gun, all the blood and the view of Jon’s body lying there cold and lifeless.