Average Joe and the Extraordinaires
By Belart Wright
Copyright 2014 © Belart Wright
Written by Belart Wright
New cover designed by Alexandra Engellmann 2015
Former cover designed by Michael Holladay and Belart Wright 2014
Gears Inside a Clock Tower image licensed by Belart Wright from LDF of iStock.
Headline Cracked font licensed by Belart Wright from IMAGEX
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except in the case of a reviewer, who may quote brief passages embodied in critical articles or in a review.
Trademarked names appear throughout this book. Rather than use a trademark symbol with every occurrence of a trademarked name, names are used in an editorial fashion, with no intention of infringement of the respective owner’s trademark.
The information in this book is distributed on an “as is” basis, without warranty. Although every precaution has been taken in the preparation of this work, neither the author nor the publisher shall have any liability to any person or entity with respect to any loss or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by the information contained in this book.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1 Fun at the Game
Chapter 2 BOOM
Chapter 3 She Can Do That!?
Chapter 4 Do what now!?
Chapter 5 One More Thing
Chapter 6 Stranger Danger
Chapter 7 Joe the Terrorist
Chapter 8 An Effort of Futility
Chapter 9 The P.I.
Chapter 10 Then Who's Protecting Me?
Villain View 1: Old Friends
Chapter 11 The Must Have Candy Bar
Chapter 12 Clear My Name???
Chapter 13 That Can't Be Sanitary
Chapter 14 The First Revenger
Chapter 15 Extraordinaires Assemble
Villain View 2: A Powerful Motivator
Chapter 16 Team Badd Azz
Chapter 17 The Price of Popularity
Chapter 18 Old Faces
Chapter 19 Occupado
Chapter 20 Home Sweet Clock Tower
Chapter 21 Zero Tolerance
Chapter 22 The Dating Game
Chapter 23 Making Things Right
Chapter 24 The Plot Thickens
Chapter 25 Scarlet Comeuppance
Chapter 26 Hero?
Chapter 27 A Good Deed Never Goes Unpunished
Chapter 28 The Conference Call
Chapter 29 The Deadly Speech
Chapter 30 Of Killers and Lizards
Chapter 31 Meet the Press
Chapter 32 The Olive Branch
Chapter 33 The Bloody Edifice
Villain View 3: Marching Orders
Villain View 4: The Daily Grind
Chapter 34 The Glamour Conference
Villain View 5: The Spotted Tail
Chapter 35 The Fun Zone
Chapter 36 The Truth Hurts
Chapter 37 The Right Kind of Hatred
Chapter 38 The Wrap Up
Chapter 39 Busy Day
Epilogue
Thank Yous and Reviews
Acknowledgements
Extras
Fun Facts and Story Changes
Alternate/Deleted Scenes
About the Author
Links
Coming Soon
Something Exciting This Way Comes
Welcome, audience, to this tale of a guy. Yes! The tale of a normal guy. This is the story of a young man so unnoticeable that you’d pass him on the street without a second glance. This guy is so unremarkable that the only name that registered in my brain for him was Joe: mediocre, plain, simple, indistinguishable, Average Joe. Yes, this is a story about a very plain guy but, hopefully, amongst all the extraordinary, unbelievable, and larger than life characters, the plainness of Joe’s own character will stand out with a certain bold starkness. This is an ode to all the Average Joes of the world. May you all live on in comfortable mediocrity. The world needs you just as much as it needs its stars.
Chapter 1
Fun at the Game
The day was hot and the crowd rowdy and rambunctious. Everyone was getting riled up for today’s statewide collegiate football match where the state favorites, the Sunshine City Fowlers, would take on the underdogs, the Orangetown Pickers. Joe and his girlfriend Kate, along with her little brother, Mod, had predicted a bloodbath today between the two rival teams and their rabid fans. Too bad for now the line had stalled.
Joe: “This line is way too long.”
The three teens were here to support their hometown team, the Pickers. Joe and Kate were set on going to Orangetown University. Neither had even considered the alternatives. Joe himself didn't have any bright prospects when it came to choosing his college, but Kate on the other hand had many schools to choose from. In the end she chose with her heart and decided to stay with Joe.
The line had finally started to move, but everyone was still pretty antsy. The game was set to start in only thirty minutes. As always the red-haired siblings couldn’t help but fuss at one another. Mod stopped arguing with his sister just long enough to lean over to Joe.
Mod: “Hey, Joe, I brought some game boosters.”
Mod smiled a devilish smile that lasted longer than it should. He pulled off his backpack, took out a bright red insulated cooler bag, opened it, and showed its contents to his shocked sister and Joe.
Kate: “How did you get that?”
Kate looked at her fourteen year old brother with alarmed blue eyes. His smile still hadn’t faded as he stared her down with his green eyes, so she knew he had something planned. She waited for his explanation of some half-brained scheme.
Mod: “The how is unimportant, dear sister, at least when it comes to the where. A different how should be asked.”
Mod smiled over towards where Joe was absentmindedly standing, and repeated himself a bit louder after delivering an elbow to Joe’s side. Joe snapped to attention and responded.
Joe: “As in how we’re going to get it in there with all that security.”
Mod: “And the answer to that, my dear sister, is you.”
Kate: “Why do I feel as if this is going to make me feel so stupid?”
The crowd started to move forward faster, the group’s shady acts cleverly hidden from the security staff. No one could really see what they were doing with all the secrecy. When the line paused again Joe stood in front of the two to block what they were doing. Mod took what looked like an albino baby seal and a gray sweatshirt from his backpack and stuffed the cooler bag and his backpack into the weird seal looking thing. He attached it to Kate and hid it under the sweatshirt that he had also hidden in his backpack.
Kate: "Did you get this sweater from Grandma?"
Mod: "Nah, it's one of Dad's old sweaters."
The weird thing wrapped around Kate wasn't really an albino baby seal, as that would be a ridiculous and smelly thing to attach to someone, even more ridiculous than a regularly pigmented seal. He had attached a fake pregnancy belly to his sister.
Mod: “Okay now act natural, sis.”
Kate scoffed at the notion.
Kate: “Act as if I’m pregnant? You jerk, that’s not even funny.”
Mod: “With the rate at
which you and Joe have been going, I will be able to say that with a straight face a few months from now.”
Kate and Joe both blushed.
Kate: “You’re lucky I don’t slap you.”
Uncomfortable conversations aside, the line was moving full speed ahead and Joe’s group was finally nearing the front doors of the stadium. The closer they got to security, the more nervous they all became. It was difficult to tell if Kate’s sea of sweat had formed because of her nervousness or the hot fake belly and sweatshirt that she now had to wear over her clothes.
At the front of the line, Joe went towards the doors, but was pushed back by a large man the size of a pro-wrestler, wearing a red t-shirt. Kate looked at him with rising fear in her eyes and a growing knot in her stomach. The large man might’ve been a wrestler, but he had the words UNIVERSITY SECURITY on his shirt. He approached the group and looked right at Kate and Joe.
Security: “Is this woman with you?”
Kate and Joe looked at each other, and then back at the security officer. Joe nodded his head and Kate sweated even more, to the point of drenching her socks.
Security: “Where’s your head at, kid? Let the lady go first. She’s with child.”
He looked right at her and smiled, which Kate guessed was meant to be inviting, but didn’t make her feel any more comfortable.
Security: “Go on through, miss.”
Kate gulped down her previous fear and strolled past the man, while the other two followed close behind. Joe got the stink-eye from the security guy. Sensing DDTs and power-bombs in his future, he decided to hasten his pace towards the ticket taker, who then took their tickets.
Inside, they all had a powwow about where to go and if they would get snacks. Eventually, they got it all together and found their seats. The game began with the singing of the national anthem, which got everyone riled up and patriotic. The players on both teams took to the field in a frenzy, to everyone’s delight. You could feel the high levels of energy throughout the stadium. The pops that the players took created audible “pops” throughout the audience.
The hometown team was losing in the first quarter, to the chagrin of Joe and the gang. Mod had pulled the thermos from Kate’s baby belly when he was sure no one was looking. Kate hastily ripped off the hot sweater and fake belly and threw them underneath her seat. The upper part of her green tanktop was drenched with sweat.
Kate: “Ugh, I need to cool down.”
Mod pulled a couple cans of Double Dog Brew for himself and handed another to Joe and then to Kate. Joe sipped his beer while the other two downed theirs like old pros and argued over who had finished first. Kate and Mod grabbed more beers and shared stories of the time Mod had accidently soiled his underwear during a camping trip. Mod tried not to laugh but couldn’t help himself.
Mod: “You guys are poop-heads.”
Kate: “Great choice of words, little bro. You might want to rethink what comes out of your potty mouth.”
When the second quarter picked up, they poured their hearts into cheering the Pickers, while pouring more beers into their mouths. You would’ve thought the Fowlers had murdered the families of their rivals from the jeers they got. Joe, Mod, Kate, and the rest that sat in their row, screamed expletives at the rival team, and a few death threats as well. Mod and Joe had made friends with the group sitting next to them and even shared some of their beers. The man sitting next to Mod was very grateful.
Neighboring Fan: “Yeah, they’re selling beers at the concession for about seven flippin’ dollars. If I didn’t think security would be so tight I would’ve brought me some cans too.”
Mod: “Yeah I always come prepared, man. Otherwise I’d blow all of my allowance—er paycheck, on these drinks.”
Kate elbowed Mod in the ribs and the friendly fan merely laughed. Towards the end of the second quarter the group started smelling something weird.
Joe: “Do you guys smell that?”
Kate: “What is it?”
Joe: “Smells like something is burning or something.”
They all smelled it, but it was so faint that no one paid it any major attention. The Pickers were still down and so the group cheered louder than ever.
Chapter 2
Boom
BOOM!
A large rippling explosion reverberated throughout the stadium, knocking many people over into the aisles below them. Fires came from seemingly nowhere. Chaos erupted throughout the stadium as everyone sprang out of their seats and to the exits. Joe kept sight of Kate and her brother Mod and moved down the crowded stairs and into the hallways of the stadium. They all ran towards the exit. Kate and Mod had a sizable lead on Joe.
Another explosion then ripped throughout the stadium, causing the panic to erupt into pandemonium. Joe lost sight of Kate amongst the sea of desperate people seeking the exit. The smoke coming from the lower levels of the stadium was so black and thick that it began to obscure the field. It had begun to choke Joe; his eyes were starting to water. He wiped them, and when he did, he saw the most beautiful girl that he’d ever seen in real life. There were women on TV who came close to this beauty, but no woman he’d ever seen or met in this reality was even close. He was forced to question if he was still even alive, or if the smoke and heat had gotten the better of him. He was as hot as a slab of ribs on the fourth of July, so that gave him a clue.
For some reason, the woman was running the opposite way from the rest of the crowd, like fighting a tide, but she managed gracefully and with marginal effort. There was a loud pop and the beauty ducked, another and she ducked again. She did all this without losing her running pace, and Joe realized the woman was being chased and shot at. After another pop, Joe saw someone in the crowd fall to the ground. He looked around for the shooter, but had a hard time seeing anyone specific in such a large crowd. He waited for another pop, and maybe a flash. The anticipation was killing him. He knew he should be trying to escape with the others, but he was compelled to find this shooter.
There! He caught sight of the man in the black suit with what Joe could tell was probably an M9 handgun, thanks to his years of playing Call of Duty. The crowd had thinned considerably around the man, and he ran forward after the woman. He pushed a small child out of the way, and then shoved an older lady to the ground. He carefully aimed his gun and drew a bead on the olive-skinned beauty. He stopped and anticipated the way she might move and BLAM!
The bullet flew upwards and clicked against metal near the ceiling. Joe had slapped the gun out of the man’s hand. After the initial moment of shock, the man clad in the black suit glared down at Joe, who had fallen clumsily. Thick red veins bulged from the man’s neck.
Man in Black: “What the hell do you think you’re doing, kid? I’m going to pop your head off your skinny little shoulders. And guess what? I’m going to love every second of it.”
The man picked Joe up and threw a wild punch into the defenseless boy’s stomach. Joe tried to double over and heave up everything he had eaten today, but the man held him up for more punishment.
Man: “I’m not done with you yet, boy.”
Joe saw the man wind back for a punch that he just knew was a gift for his face. If given a choice, he would reject the present, or re-gift it, but he currently didn’t have that luxury.
Joe then fell under the force of several people. He felt the floor and was free to crawl away from the pandemonium. When he looked back, he saw that a group of very big Fowler fans were going to town on the man in black’s face. He couldn’t stomach any more of the carnage, so he looked forward to see where the woman had went.
Joe just had to make sure that she was okay, then he could leave. He wasn’t sure if any of those bullets had hit her, and he wasn’t quite thinking straight. It could have been the drinks. It could have been the chaos. It could have even been the lack of breathable air. He hadn’t noticed that there was no blood trail. He hadn’t even noticed that he had run past another man in a black suit or that the man was drawing a bead
on the back of his skull. The only thing on his mind now was a scent. It had disrupted Joe’s surroundings. It didn’t fit in with all the running people, fire, sweat, blood, and chaos. It smelled…
Joe was halfway to the ground before he heard the popping sound. He floated seemingly forever between the sky and the ground, waiting to descend. The smell came back to the forefront of his thoughts and was stronger now, enjoyably aromatic, but that wasn’t all. There was a weight on his chest, and it was warm, comfortably so. He instinctively cradled it and felt arms go around his hips and to his back. For no reason, Joe felt the moment was framed in gold. He had just enough time to see her dark tresses spread about his chest as he and this golden person fell. A perfect moment. A perfect meeting.
The force of his body hitting the floor unmercifully interrupted all that.
“Are you an imbecile? Get up and run! Go!”
Her voice had an unmistakable foreign flare to it, but didn’t distract from the message she was trying to convey. The curtness of her voice jolted Joe to his feet to meet her. When he looked up, she was already on her feet. He waited for her to move before he did.
“Go! Now!”
She hadn’t even looked at Joe when she’d said that. Her eyes were on her shooter. She reached for her ear and took off a large earring. The silver pendant bore a symbol that Joe thought looked like a lightning bolt.
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