Dozz: “Look, Fleez! Here comes a new challenger!”
They looked at Joe and Mod with both humor and contempt. Joe wasn’t sure which to be more afraid of.
Dozz: “Think they’re ready for round two?”
Fleez: “Doubtful. They’re still licking their wounds from the thrashing I gave them last time.”
It was amazing, but Fleez had absolutely no scratches, wounds, or bruises that Joe could see. He was entirely unscathed from their encounter.
Joe: “You guys didn’t get suspended?”
Fleez laughed.
Fleez: “We’re awesome, but not that awesome. Principal Prickly-Head let us back today, saying something about fair treatment. I’m just glad to get another shot at rearranging both of your faces. I want to make Joe’s face look like The Scream by Munch, and Modrick I want your face to look like a custom Van Gogh.”
Joe tensed up at that, ready for another fight.
Mod: “Wait! There’s no need for that.”
Fleez: “I’ve waited long enough. I won’t wait any longer to crush you, especially after what you did.”
Mod: “That’s what I’m trying to address here. I want to apologize for what I did. I know it was wrong.”
Fleez: “Apologizing won’t save you. I’m going to break your face, maybe make it a bit prettier.”
Mod stood his ground.
Mod: “You think I’m scared of you? I’ve already shown you that I’m not. You can hurt me all you want, but you won’t out-prank me. What I’m apologizing for is putting your families in that video. I should have had more tact and cut them out of it completely. I don’t apologize for any parts you were in though. You two are fair game, and I look forward to making your lives more miserable in the future.”
Fleez smiled a great big smile and patted Mod on the shoulder. Mod nearly jumped out of his skin at that.
Fleez: “I accept your sincere and surprisingly bad azz apology, and look forward to your measly attempts to make my life miserable. Such attempts will be answered with your crushing defeat of course, but should still provide some entertainment to me and my colleague here—I mean my colleague and I.”
He stuck his hand out to a grinning Mod. They shook hands, until Fleez twisted Mod’s arm behind his back and gave him what Joe had only seen in movies and cartoons from the early nineties, an atomic wedgie. Mod was left speechless as a group of girls walked by gawking at his ruined and supremely elastic underwear that now crowned the top of his head. They walked away giggling, leaving Mod mortified.
Dozz: “It looks like one point on the board for Team Badd Azz.”
He and Fleez slapped hands, chuckling.
Fleez: “Where’s that leave you, Joe? We see that you keep doing bigger and badder Badd Azz deeds. You keep people guessing, which is our M.O. Going from terrorist to local hero was the smoothest play we’ve seen so far. We want you on our team, now more than ever.”
Joe didn’t even have to think about that one.
Joe: “Sorry, fellas, I already have a team.”
He looked at Mod, who had painfully removed the underwear from his cranium and was trying to neatly tuck it back into his pants. He remembered their stage name back when they put on their rap performance and then thought of his new friends: Borland, Liandra, Dahlila, and Melissa. Then he thought of Kate.
Fleez: “You’re not a real team unless you have a name.”
Joe: “And we have one … the Extraordinaires.”
Chapter 33
The Bloody Edifice
The rest of the day felt extremely long to Joe, and exhausting. His act of saving the governor’s life had, of course, become the talk of town and school. Half of his classes were devoted to talking about just that, the other half spent plodding through a myriad of missed assignments and watching teachers give him the evil eye. The teachers seemed to either love him or hate him these days. Joe had come to miss the reckless indifference they had shown him before. He didn’t really like all the attention, but it was much more positive than before.
Even though it was refreshing to get positive attention for a change, Joe was still entirely sick of it all. He was tired of hearing about the situation, tired of explaining what had happened, and most of all he was tired of all the stares that accompanied his every step.
There were only two people he could think of that didn’t know what he had gone through the last couple of days, and they were at the one place he could go to forget about everything. The only thing he could think of for the majority of the day was visiting them. Neither Melissa nor Dahlila would ask about the news story, and besides that he wanted to enjoy their company. As abnormal as their situation was, they’d provide him with the normalcy he needed. He was tired of basking in his own problems. He wanted to help them get their normal lives back as much as he craved it for himself. To do that, they all needed to work together to put Blonsky and now Grabas behind bars.
Today was a perfect day. The sun was out, but the fine breeze had spread cool air around the city. On days like this Joe felt lucky that he lived in the Sunshine State. The ride through the streets was buttery smooth as the roads were mostly clear. He made it to the clock tower in no time at all, but when he arrived something was amiss. He pulled into the back, neglecting to properly park, and ran and examined the door on the ground. It had been ripped from its hinges and discarded like trash. The doorway to the clock tower was wide open. Joe walked up the stairs to get a better view. Before he walked in, he texted Liandra for backup in case there was any trouble around.
He stepped into the doorway and looked around anxiously for signs of intruders. The door into the chapel was torn down as well, but there was nothing in there but dusty footprints, a lot of them. He searched around carefully and silently for anything that could tip him off on what had happened here.
He found nothing in the temple area, so he moved to the wrought-iron steps. Halfway up, he spotted blood. It was thin and hard to spot at first against the black iron, but with every step it grew a bit thicker. He followed the blood trail all the way up to the top, until he found her heaped in a corner.
Joe: “DAHLILA!”
He couldn’t even tell if she was breathing. He ran to her and dropped to his knees. Before he knew it, tears were falling down his face for this girl he barely knew. She was face down when he found her, but he flipped her onto her back.
Joe: “Dahlila, come on, say something! It’s me, Joe!”
He didn’t know what to do and cursed himself for barely passing health class and not paying attention to those CPR lessons. He didn’t know how to wake her up, so he started to panic and scream. Just then, her eyes moved inside her eyelids. He had seen it happen, but barely. He calmed after that. She was losing a lot of blood from the front of her right thigh. Countless T.V. shows had shown him that he needed to stop the loss of blood. He took off his T-shirt, which was coincidently red, and folded it down the middle vertically. She was wearing navy blue track pants and the blood was gushing through a large hole. A lot of it was already on the floor beneath her. He couldn’t avoid staining his A-shirt that he wore underneath his tee.
After examining her wound, he puzzled out that it had to be from a gunshot, only it was much bigger than he had imagined. He had never seen a gunshot wound up close before. He ripped away the bottom of her right pant leg, everything below the thigh. He then tightly and carefully wound his tee around the wound. He knotted the ends together and said a little prayer afterwards. When he touched her forehead, she shuddered, and then her breathing became loud and ragged, but he didn’t know what to do after that. He called Liandra, but she didn’t answer.
Joe: “Come on, Dahlila! Wake up!”
She coughed wildly and talked barely above a whisper.
Dahlila: “Five more minutes, Papa…”
He nearly smiled at the sound of her voice.
Joe: “Stop, no jokes. You’re hurting yourself.”
Dahlila: “You’re right … we don’t have time
. We have to go get Melissa…”
She couldn’t even keep her eyes open all the way.
Joe: “We can’t. Not with you like this.”
Dahlila: “Then you go. They can’t have … gotten far … if the sun’s still out … look for a Green … Taurus.”
Joe: “I’m sorry. I just can’t leave you like this. You could die.”
She tried her best to sit up.
Dahlila: “Damn your sorries! There’s a little girl … who needs us…”
That outburst had cost her a great deal of strength. She rested back and took in long haggard breaths.
Joe: “I know, I know! We have to wait for Liandra. She’ll be here any minute.”
They sat on the floor together in silence until Liandra’s arrival five minutes later. She was her normal raven-haired self, but noticeably more tense and serious. She quickly and wordlessly started examining Dahlila’s thigh.
Liandra: “You keep getting into trouble, girlie. This time it looks like you crossed the wrong person.”
She untied the shirt that Joe used to slow the bleeding with and cast it aside. She looked at the wound as if it were a caterpillar under a microscope. There wasn’t a hint of distress on her face.
Dahlila: “It wasn’t by choice. I didn’t even recognize the guy calling the shots.”
Liandra: “Well, I’m playing this tight here. If we don’t get you properly taken care of soon you won’t be with us too much longer. Joe, get me that cup from the table.”
Joe ran to the table and back. He placed the cup near her side.
Dahlila: “I got shot … got shot running up the stairs … don’t know who…”
Liandra: “Okay, save your strength for now. I need you to survive this. Joe, give me your belt.”
He didn’t understand why she wanted his belt, but he knew that he didn’t have time to question her. He removed the belt from his pants and handed it to her.
Liandra: “I want you to bite on this for a little while, okay?”
Dahlila opened her mouth and chomped down on the black leather. Liandra then slowly and meticulously waved her hand across Dahlila’s leg. When she got to the wound, she stopped and hovered over it.
Liandra: “This will hurt. I want you to keep biting down on that belt.”
Dahlila winced and screamed. The sound was largely muffled though, straining her jaw muscles from the pressure she was exerting against Joe’s belt. After that, Liandra dropped something into the cup. A curious Joe looked down into the cup, but only saw something small and red. He moved the cup around and saw the silver shining on the other side of the object.
Joe: “Is this…?”
Liandra: “Yes, that’s the bullet she was shot with.”
Joe: “That quick?”
Liandra: “That quick.”
Liandra took something from her messenger bag and was now rubbing it across Dahlila’s thigh. It was orange and looked like makeup for tanners.
Liandra: “Before you even ask, this is a salve that I got from overseas. This should help seal that wound up in no time flat. The only thing she needs now is for her strength to return. I need you to bring up some water, not too cold. Take these too.”
She tossed a small sack at him. He caught it, loosened the drawstring, and peeked inside to see tiny albino-colored beans.
Joe: “What are these?”
Liandra: “You picked a great time to be curious. Never mind what they are. Just take them, boil them, and bring them back here. It shouldn’t take long, about ten minutes max. Don’t forget to bring the water, and don’t pour out that bean water either. Save it, bottle it, and bring it with you. She’ll need it.”
Joe nodded his head and dashed downstairs while he could still remember all that she told him. He moved as fast as he could.
He came back ten minutes later carrying a jug of water and a steaming bowl of albino beans. The bean water he left in a thermos downstairs since he wasn’t blessed with a third hand. He set it all down near Liandra and watched her work. She wrapped Dahlila’s wound tightly with a fresh bandage. She then took some sort of liquid out of her bag and poured it on top of the beans. Whatever it was, it was brown and had a sweet earthy smell. She then pulled out a small bowl, poured a handful of herbs into it, then crushed it all with a wooden masher. She put the herbs into the mixture and crushed it all up until it formed into a greenish brown paste. She spoon-fed a little to a shivering Dahlila, whom she had to coax to swallow.
Liandra: “She’s slipping. I can’t feed her like this. We’ll need that bean water to make this go faster. I need to make this into a full-on draught. Where’s that bean water?”
Joe cursed himself for leaving it.
Joe: “I’ll go get it.”
“Don’t worry yourself. Rest your legs, young man.”
Both Joe and Liandra jumped at the sudden intrusion. They turned to face the intruder. He was remarkably close, only a few paces away. How he got there without anyone noticing was anyone’s guess. He stood tall, pale, and thin. He had a head full of wild black hair with two silver “wings” above his temples on both sides of his head. His face was a blank slate, and his eyes were icy blue streams hidden under the thick silver canopy of his eyebrows. He wore black robes patterned with white designs and gold trim.
Liandra rose to her feet quicker than Joe could react.
Liandra: “Who are you?”
He smiled, showing all of his teeth, which greatly disturbed Joe. The tall man saw this and quickly hid his chompers.
“I’m sorry for that, it’s just that I rarely ever get that question anymore. To answer you, my name is … Claude. I am the minister … or rather the keeper of these grounds and protector of this most hallowed edifice.”
Joe had never seen this man before. He’d remember someone who looked like him, talked like him, and dressed like him.
Liandra: “What do you want? Why are you here?”
Claude: “You certainly are … spirited. A great quality in one so young.”
He smiled again, this time more subdued.
Claude: “To answer your question, I WANT to give you this…”
He pulled the thermos that Joe had left downstairs from his sleeve. He beckoned Joe over to him and smiled at him.
Claude: “Two trips up these winding stairs is more than enough, wouldn’t you agree?”
He handed Joe the thermos and Joe carefully handed it to Liandra, who was still eying their guest.
Claude: “As for the why … well … I work here, as I have said.”
Liandra: “Fair enough. Now excuse me, I was in the middle of something important.”
She slowly removed her gaze from him and focused on mixing the still hot water with the paste she’d made.
Claude: “It smells like an Iasian draught, but that would be impossible. That’s certainly a lost recipe from ancient times that no one currently living should know.”
He smiled at her, apparently too excited to hide his teeth this time.
Claude: “Even though we know that’s not an Iasian draught, if it was it would be the perfect medicine to restore all the blood that she has lost. Too bad that’s impossible, correct?”
Liandra remained silent and kept force-feeding Dahlila. After a few minutes of that, Dahlila opened her eyes all the way and used them to survey her surroundings. She sat up, now fully awake. The color in her cheeks had returned as well.
Liandra: “Welcome back. You feel like telling us what happened here?”
Dahlila: “I’ll be brief. Once I’m on my feet I’m leaving to go get Melissa. Anyone that tries to stop me is taking a one way trip down that staircase. To sum it up: I was attacked by a group of those thugs in black suits, shot, roughed up, and after all that they took Melissa and left me. Why? They didn’t say. I just know that they won’t have her for much longer. Questions, anyone?”
Joe: “Guys in black suits? Like at the stadium?”
Dahlila: “Exactly. That bastard Blonsky’s men. I knoc
ked some of them out clean. I could tell they were out, but it’s strange, they kept getting up even after I beat them bloody.”
Liandra: “I wonder why they didn’t take you back or kill you for that matter? You saw their faces, I imagine.”
Dahlila: “I don’t know why they didn’t finish me. Maybe they thought I would bleed out or something.”
Claude: “There is a simpler explanation. Your life was spared by this hallowed edifice. It shielded you from their malice until the end. I saw it.”
They were all looking at him now.
Dahlila: “What are you talking about?”
Claude: “This edifice is a great and noble creation. It is truly one of the world’s foremost mysteries. It is a true wonder, and I am honored to serve as keeper of its grounds.”
Joe: “Just seemed like an old abandoned building to me.”
Claude looked offended.
Claude: “No, not at all, boy. This edifice is beyond my understanding, truly. It is said to be a paradox, both shadow and substance.”
Everyone looked at him as though he were speaking Greek. Joe told himself that this would be his last trip to the tower, since this crazy guy was lurking around.
Joe: “Did you see Blonsky? Was he the one the shot you?”
Dahlila: “No, not Blonsky, but this guy dressed twice as bad as Mr. Fluorescent Shirts. And he…”
Joe: “What? What is it?”
Dahlila: “You’re going to think I’m crazy for saying this but he—I mean, I think he knew magic or something—I don’t know.”
Joe looked straight at Liandra.
Joe: “I’ve seen some crazy stuff, so I actually believe you.”
Dahlila: “Good, cuz I don’t even believe what I’m about to tell you. I disarmed one of the men after I knocked him out. I grabbed his piece, and wasn’t going to use it at first, but these guys kept getting up and were closing in on me. I could see no other way. When I went to shoot, I felt the gun being tugged away from me, even though no one was there. After struggling for a while, the thing flew out of my hands and across the room as if I had thrown it. My hands were shaking, but I know I didn’t throw that gun. After that, the guy I guessed to be the ringleader of the whole affair walked up the stairs. I ran at him once I saw him carrying Melissa away, with my bloody leg and all, and decked him. Next thing I know my feet were being pulled from under me, but again no one was around. I fell so hard I saw stars. When I looked up, the bastard was smiling and I could swear he had a wand in his hand. A witch’s wand. I thought he was going to kill me, until I woke up with Joe hovering over me.”
Average Joe and the Extraordinaires Page 18