“Mickey was right. You are a coward. I hate you so much,” I say with disgust just as the sirens get louder. They’re coming into the estate.
“What’s going to happen now?” Phil asks, and right now he looks so much younger than sixteen. He’s so scared, his face is a pale grey colour. Laura pulls him into a hug.
“The police are here,” Dad says. He doesn’t seem angry, he looks heartbroken.
“Katy, we’re sorry,” Laura cries, holding Phil.
The squad car comes to a stop.
“I know you are. But you still have your brother Laura, you can visit him in prison. I have to visit mine in a cemetery. Where’s the justice in that?” I turn away from them and look at Owen. “You’re always here when I need you.”
“Cher, I’m so proud of you.” He kisses my lips softly.
The cops are wandering amongst us asking everyone questions. It’s going to be a long night.
Chapter Twenty-One
It’s been two days since I found out that Phil was the one to kill Mickey. Mum and Dad have both taken it better than I expected, better than I have. They feel sorry for Phil, whereas I don’t. The bit of pity I’d experienced when he stood in front of me crying his confession had long since left me. Why should I feel sorry for someone who killed my brother? Who left him lying in an alleyway to die? As I said to Laura, they’ll still get to see him. They’ll get to talk to him whereas we don’t get to have Mickey. We can’t talk to him or see him. It’s not fair, and maybe in the future, I will be as calm about it as my parents, but right now I’m not. I’m so far from that place that I don’t see it ever happening.
I’ve yet to have that talk with Mum and Dad. With everything that happened with Phil, I didn’t want to talk about anything yesterday. So I spent the day in bed with Owen. I’m moving in with him, most of my stuff is already at his place. I just need to move all the other stuff. Yesterday, my phone was nonstop ringing. Everyone had heard the news, and they wanted to talk to me. I had already spoken to Molly about what happened, and we cried together. The betrayal runs deep. We were supposed to be family but, in the end, that wasn’t true. They kept it from us and decided they would pretend that nothing happened. Molly is livid. She told me that if she sees Laura, she’s going to slap her silly.
Today I’m talking to Dad. I’ve decided to bring him out for lunch. Mum doesn’t need to hear everything that’s going to be said, because as much as I don’t want any arguments, I can’t guarantee that, so getting Dad away for a bit will make sure that Mum doesn’t get upset. Mum told me that Dad has some things he wants to say to me. She did say it was nothing bad and that he had told her how proud he was of me. That made me smile, and when I told Owen he grumbled on about Dad saying it to me himself. I hope that when I patch things up with Dad, which I want to do, Owen will let go of the anger he has towards him. If he actually got to know my dad, I’d say they’d get on like a house on fire.
Tonight, Owen and I are attending Jess’s secret wedding. Only family is invited. I’m lucky enough to be able to witness it, even though I’m technically not family. Although when I said it to Owen, he growled at me and told me to shut up, that I’m his family. Who was I to argue with that? I love when he gets sweet. We’re doing really well; our relationship is amazing. I love being with him. I never thought that someone else’s happiness could make you happy. Knowing that Owen’s happy and content is what makes me happy.
Knowing who killed Mickey has helped me finally start to move on. I’m able to put Mickey to rest and know that he’ll be looking down on me. It still hurts; first thing in the morning is when it hits me the hardest. For a split second, I’m happy, and then I’ll remember, and it will hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s getting easier as the days go by, but it hurts. I’m actually glad that I’m leaving that estate. I’m getting away from the constant reminders, the alleyway and the NDZ Crew. If I ever see another member it’ll be too soon.
Walking into the cafe, I spot Dad right away. He’s sitting in the back drinking coffee. He never drinks tea. Mickey and I used to tease him about it; we used to say that he wasn’t British if he didn’t drink tea. Mum would always laugh. She’d drink tea all day, every day. She loves it. Mickey took after Mum in that sense. He’d always drink tea. I walk up to the table and see that Dad has a cup waiting for me. I smile when I see the marshmallows on top. He got me a hot chocolate.
“Thanks Dad. Have you been waiting long?” Even as I ask, I can see the steam rising from the cups. Either he’s been here an awful long time, and this is his second cup of coffee or he’s been here a few minutes.
“No, I’ve not long got here. How are you, Katy?” He asks and looks genuinely interested.
“I’m okay, better than I have been in a while. I think finding out that Phil did it gave me some sort of closure, closure I didn’t think I needed.” I’m keeping it honest. I bring the mug up to my mouth and take a sip of the hot chocolate. Then I inwardly cringe as the taste of sour milk hits my palate. God, that is rank.
“I understand that. It did the same for your mum and me.” He’s nervous. He’s running his finger over his wedding ring. “I owe you an apology. No, I owe you more than that. What you said about me abandoning you was right. I did, and I hate that I did. You needed me, you needed your mother, and we were selfish in our grief. Katy darling, if I could change things I would. You deserved more than what we gave you. I’m sorry for leaving.”
I hold the mug between my hands “I know you are Dad, I truly understand why you did it. It hurt, but I think I was selfish too. I expected you both to cater to my emotions. I’m twenty now, Dad, I should be able to look after myself. I’m sorry that I made you feel worse.” I’ve had a long hard think about this, and yes, I shouldn’t have been so hard on him, especially when I wasn’t so hard on Mum. “Everyone grieves differently, I just wish you had stayed with us and we could have all grieved together.”
“Hindsight is a funny thing,” he says, and I nod. “Thank you for being so understanding. I’m so proud of you, Katy. You’ve grown into a beautiful, kind, caring, sweet, amazing woman.”
I inhale sharply and blink away the tears. I’m not going to cry. “Thank you.”
He smiles. “I’m thankful I had a part in you growing up to be amazing. It’s a shame that I can’t say you take after me.”
I laugh.
“Your mother would kill me if you did. After all, she did carry you for nine months.”
“Almost ten but who’s counting?” I reply with a chuckle. Mum always lets it be known that she was three weeks overdue with me.
“Your mum told me what you did to make sure that Mickey’s funeral was paid off and that the mortgage was still being paid. I hate that you had to do that, but thank you.” His face is red with embarrassment, and I like to think it’s because I paid off the bills and not that I’m a pole dancer.
I shrug. “Someone had to do it.” It comes out bitter and he flinches. “I didn’t say it to hurt you. But Dad what did you expect to happen? You disappeared, Mum wasn’t working. Someone had to pay the bills, and that left me. If I hadn’t, we wouldn’t have had anywhere to live.”
He nods. “I know, I wasn’t thinking about anything other than escaping the pain. I made mistakes, mistakes that I wish I could take back. I’m so sorry for failing you.” A lonely tear falls from his eye, rolls over his cheek and onto his hand. “There are only two regrets in my life. One is that I abandoned you when you needed me. The other is not putting my foot down and grounding Mickey. I failed the both of you, and I’m so sorry.”
The air whooshes from my lungs. “Dad, you didn’t fail us. God, there was no grounding Mickey. He would have snuck out or he would have wormed his way around Mum. You and I both know Mum had a hard time saying no to him.” Just thinking about him looking at Mum with those big green eyes of his makes me smile. “He would have gone either way, there was nothing any of us could have done to stop him.”
“That may be so, Katy, but I’m
the adult, I should have been firmer.” He’s beating himself up about it and that’s not going to do anyone any favours.
“Look Dad, I felt the same, Mickey asked me to go out that night and I wouldn’t. If I had, he may have been here today. Saying that, though, look who killed him. That could have happened anywhere.”
Dad shakes his head, his eyes full of sadness and brimming with tears. “No Katy, it wouldn’t have happened anywhere. Phil killed your brother in the heat of the moment. It was a tragic accident.”
Marshmallows slosh back forth as I slam my mug on the table. “That’s crap. There’s no way it was ‘a tragic accident.’ He walked out of his house with a knife, Dad. He then followed Mickey to that alley and he stabbed him. He could have saved him if he had called for help, but he didn’t. That isn’t an accident, that’s murder, and I hope they lock him up and throw away the key.” I cross my arms over my chest and stare at him, daring him to tell me that I’m wrong.
He doesn’t say anything for a while, but he sips his coffee as he looks out the window. “You know what I found the hardest?” he asks after a few minutes. “When our world came crashing down around us, it was like time had stopped for us. Then, I realised that the world didn’t stop, we did. That the world continued on without my boy, that he didn’t mean anything but to a few of us.”
“Dad, he meant a lot to those who knew him.” I hate to admit it, but the NDZ Crew really did consider him family. Phil’s betrayal runs deep.
He nods, a tiny smile gracing his face. “You’re right, he does.” He takes another sip of coffee. I watch intently as I see something swirling in his eyes. He looks out the window before quickly glancing at me before looking back out the window. He does this a few more times before he sighs heavily. “Your mum misses you Katy, as do I. Will you move back home?”
Shit, that’s what he was looking all weird about. He was trying to broach the subject of me coming home. “Dad…” God, he looks so hopeful, I hate that I’m going to say no. “Owen asked me to move in with him, and I said yes.” He closes his eyes almost as if he’s in pain. “Dad, are you okay?”
“This is because of me. You moved out because you couldn’t bear to live with me, and now you’ll never be back. Your mum is going to kill me. That was her one thing. The only thing she said to me as I left the house this morning. ‘You make amends with Katy and you make sure she’s living under this roof. It’s so empty without her.’”
“Dad, I’m not moving to the other side of the world, I’ll be back for Sunday dinners. I love Mum’s dinners,” I tell him and smile. There’s no way I’d miss Mum’s Sunday dinners, they’re to die for.
He laughs. “I’ll make sure to tell her that. It’ll mean she’ll go all out every Sunday. It’s a win-win for the both of us, Katy.” That is so true. Mum seems to make the dinners even nicer on special occasions, and I think me coming for dinner is a special occasion. “Katy, are you happy?”
I should have known this was coming. “With Owen?” He nods at my question. “Yes, I’m happy, Dad. He makes me so happy. He is so thoughtful and sweet. Our first date, he brought me to the outdoor cinema to watch Clueless. He calls me Cher because he knows how much I love that film. He holds my hand when we walk down the street. When he smiles at me, I smile back because I love him.”
That smile that he had on his face widens. “Good.”
What? I’m so shocked.
“Your mum told me about him, and I like him for you Katy. You both made sacrifices for those that you love. You deserve someone who is willing to sacrifice his life for you, just as I know that if it came to it, you’d do it for him.” He smirks as he takes a sip of coffee. “I think you two are good for each other.”
“Thanks, Dad.” My phone vibrates in my pocket and I quickly pull it out and see that it’s a text.
Owen: Cher, we have to be at the registry office in less than three hours. I hate to cut your time short with your dad, but we’ve got to hurry.
Shit, I hadn’t realised that Dad and I had been here for so long. I look up from my phone, and Dad looks so bloody sad that I feel bad. “Dad…” I begin, but he’s shaking his head. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologise Katy, it’s fine.” He gives me a smile, and I know that it’s one of his fake ones.
“How about you and I get dinner on Tuesday?” Owen’s working and I’m off, I’ve asked Saff to change our work schedules. I need to have two separate days off from him. We spend every day together, so having separate nights off won’t be too bad, besides it’s not for that long.
“That would be nice,” he says as he rises to his feet. “You didn’t drink your hot chocolate.”
“I know, I was too nervous,” I lie as I stand. “I’m sorry I’ve had to cut this short Dad, but Tuesday we’ll go for dinner. I’ll even let you buy.” We both laugh as we exit the coffee shop.
“Fine, but I’m choosing where we’re going.” This man here, this is the dad I grew up with, the man who would laugh and joke with us, who was so relaxed and just nice to be around. “I’ll break the news to your mum about you moving in with Owen, but I’ll soften it by telling her she’ll be cooking you dinner every week.” He pulls me into his embrace. “Call me and we’ll sort Tuesday out.”
“I will do, thanks Dad.” I ease out of his arms and turn to walk towards Owen’s flat, happy that I’ve managed to sort things out and I know that we’re going to be fine.
Owen’s arm rests around my shoulder as we watch Jess and Hunter dance. She’s due in less than six weeks, but her bump doesn’t even look that big behind her lace wedding dress. They are so in love, every time they look at one another, it’s so clear to see, so obvious to everyone around them. Looking at Emme, that sweet little girl is just watching her mum and dad dance, a smile lighting up her tiny face.
Hearing a crying baby, my eyes immediately go to Stefanie and James, baby Carter in her arms as she gently rocks him. James’s arm around her as he watches his son intently. Owen told me not that long ago that he and Stef had slept together. He also told me that it was just sex, although I think he hoped it would be more. He cares a great deal about her, but when I see them together it’s nothing more than when I see him and Jess together; they’re family, nothing more, nothing less.
Everyone here is family; each and every person is wearing a smile as they watch Jess and Hunter dance. I listened as Jess told me the story, how heartbroken she was when Hunter left her while she was pregnant. She told me that the biggest mistake that both of them made was not talking to the other. Secrets ruined them, and they’re really lucky to be where they are today.
“This, this is what I want.” Owen’s voice is just above a whisper, his finger caressing my shoulder. Looking at him, I see so much love in his eyes as he looks down at me. “Love, happiness, family. Everything my sister has, I want...” I smile, I think that’s what everyone would like to have in their lives. “I want it with you, Katy.”
My breath hitches at his words. “Owen...” I’m unable to get the words out. What he said, it’s everything I want with him. Hearing him say it, though, makes my heart melt. Knowing that he loves me so much that he wants to have a family, I’m speechless.
“Katy?” he questions, sounding worried.
“I want us to be one of those old couples that even when we’re eighty, we still hold hands. That still enjoy being around each other because we’re still so in love. I want to watch our great grandkids open their Christmas presents. That’s what I want with you,” I tell him and immediately bite my lip. What if that was too much?
“Damn,” he curses. “How on earth did I get so lucky as to have you in my life? I love you, Katy. There’s no doubt in my mind that you were made for me.”
God, why on earth do I keep crying? I wipe the tear before it can fall down my cheek, and then I kiss Owen on his lips. “You make me so happy. That’s what made me realise that I loved you. Even when I was at my lowest, you would always make me feel some sort of happiness.”
“There’s nothing you can do. You’re stuck with me now. I’m going to marry you one day, Katy,” he promises me.
“I’ll hold you to it.” I kiss him again just as the music stops and everyone begins to cheer.
Epilogue
Five Years Later
Sitting on the bed, my nerves are shot. I’m so scared right now. Owen and I haven’t really been ourselves lately. Me, well I’m scared out of my mind, and I have been for the past week. Ever since I received the news, I’ve been on edge, worried, and a little excited. Owen, well he’s been distant for the last two weeks, so it’s not because I’ve been preoccupied, although I’m sure that hasn’t helped matters. We’ve been going strong for five years, and I love him even more now than I did back then.
We’ve both accomplished so much in those precious years. I’m a fully qualified beautician, as is Bailey. We completed the course and when we finished, we decided that it was only natural to go into business together. It has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Bay and I opened Beauty Palace. We thought the name was a great way to pay homage to the place where we met, along with the man who is a silent owner. Yes, when Damien found out that Bailey and I were looking to go into business and set up our own salon, he didn’t even hesitate to offer up the money.
Our salon isn’t just about beauty. It’s a hair salon also. It was perfect timing when we found out that Stef’s friend Natalie was becoming a hairdresser, we knew she’d be the perfect fit for us. We grew our client list while Nat was in college. We made a great name for ourselves. We were becoming really popular, and we’d be booked out months in advance. Nat went to the best hairdressing college and also gained a great reputation. She brought a whole new clientele with her, who in turn became my and Bailey’s clients. We’ve been open three years this year, and we’re thriving. Damien’s happy, and he’s told us that if we want to buy him out, we can, Bailey and I have told Nat that if she wants to become a partner, we’d love her to.
The Sacrifices of Life Page 19