by Dana Delamar
“That’s good,” Carter said.
I looked from one to the other, but saw no anger there. “Well?” I asked.
“Well, what?” Riley said.
“I lied to you.”
“It’s not like I asked if you had kids.”
“But I didn’t mention it. Though I kept hoping you wouldn’t notice the stretch marks. And I told Carter I had a niece with Downs. Not a daughter.” I turned to him. “I’m sorry.”
“I understand why you did,” Carter said. “I’m not mad.”
“You never have to hide anything from us. Don’t you know that?” Riley said.
I rolled my eyes. “Really, Riley? You’re telling me you would have been excited about my having a child?”
He shrugged. “You have a kid. So what?”
“A disabled kid.”
“Again, so?”
I looked at Carter. “You know what a responsibility it is.”
He nodded. “Yes. But all kids are.”
“It’s not the same.”
“No, it’s not. But everybody has something to deal with.”
I crossed my arms. “And yet, it’s not like guys have been lining up to be Emma’s father. Not even her own father wants that burden.”
Riley rose. “Then he’s an asshole. That doesn’t mean that’s how I feel. Or Carter.”
Carter nodded. “The idea doesn’t scare me. I’ve always known I’d probably be the one to take on the responsibility for my brother when it gets to be too much for my mom.”
“Then you hardly need any more headaches.” I shook my head. “But none of this matters anyway. I just needed to be honest with you.”
Riley drew me out of the chair and pulled me close. “I wish you’d trusted us all along. But thank you for telling us now.” He kissed me on the mouth, then smoothed my hair back behind my ears. “I love you, Paige. I’ve been dying to say it, and I think you need to hear it now. I was going to wait a few more days, but that seems silly.”
Stupid, runaway heart—mine was pounding, a thrill of hope running through me. Then I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and pressed it down. Riley was sweet, he was young, he was naive. And he might say this now, but he didn’t know what it meant to be a father. To take on such a responsibility.
Carter knew. And though he’d said he wasn’t scared, he wasn’t holding me either. He wasn’t doing anything. And that told me everything I needed to know.
Riley might love us both, but Carter’s heart had room only for Riley.
And I wasn’t going to be the third wheel in their relationship any longer.
I stepped back from Riley. “I really… like the two of you.” My voice cracked and I swallowed hard. “But I’m a mom, and I need to be a mom, and the two of you need to go back to your lives. The fantasy is over. You both gave me something I’ll never forget, but a memory is all this can ever be.”
“It doesn’t have to end here,” Riley said.
“Of course it does. You two are a couple. There’s no room for me, as anything more than a fling. I see the love in your eyes when you look at each other.” My voice cracked again, and I couldn’t hold back the tears threatening to spill any longer. I let out a sob and grabbed my purse, turning for the door.
“Paige, wait.” Riley took hold of my arm.
I shrugged him off, reaching for the handle, and he held the door shut. “Listen to me.”
I couldn’t look at him. I wiped my eyes and tried to calm my breathing. “Let me go, Riley.”
“No—”
I smacked him in the arm. “Let me go!”
“Paige—”
“Let her go,” Carter said, rising.
I turned to look at him. “Thank you,” I hiccupped, my voice thick with tears. At least Carter wasn’t going to prolong my misery.
Riley hissed in frustration, then stepped away from the door. “I love you, Paige.”
The sadness in his voice twisted in my gut. “I know you think that’s true.” I opened the door. “But it’s best to leave things be. You’ll see that soon enough.”
I slipped outside, my vision nothing but a blur. The door clicked shut behind me, and it sounded like a gunshot.
I’d ended this farce; I’d just saved us all a lot of misery. So why did it feel like my heart was shattered beyond repair?
RILEY
Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
Whoever had said that was a fucking liar. I watched in stunned silence as the door slammed shut behind Paige. The harsh metallic sound reverberated throughout my body. My heart banged against my ribs. Blood roared in my ears. And behind all the noise was the pain of my heart rending.
None of the past fifteen minutes made any damn sense. Had I suddenly been transported to a parallel universe where initially everything appeared to be the same, but upon closer inspection turned out to be as alien as the visitors to Area 51?
The effect was disorienting, and I had to swallow to push down the bile burning my throat and stealing my breath. I wiped my stinging eyes, then turning to Carter, I raised my arms in an awkward acknowledgment of the alternate reality we’d just experienced. “What the fuck happened?”
Slumped against the wall, Carter briefly closed his eyes and rubbed the side of his face, the scratch of his beard adding to the clatter in my brain. When he looked at me, his normally bright eyes were sunken and wrecked. He looked as miserable as I felt. Carter shook his head. “I don’t know, Rye. I think we got dumped.”
“Fuck. It can’t be over.” I’d already reached that conclusion, but hearing him say the words was another attack on my battered heart. The burning sensation in my eyes intensified and heat ran down my cheeks. I hurt so bad, I needed to let the pain out. “Fuck me!” I yelled as I slammed my fist into the wall.
Carter’s eyes opened wide. “No. God. Don’t, please don’t,” he said, pushing off the wall. With long steps, he crossed the room and took me in his arms. “I’m so, so sorry.” His hands slid to my back and held me tightly.
I cradled my throbbing hand against my chest and sank into Carter’s embrace, let him be the power that supported us both. “She’s gone,” I whispered.
“I know, and it’s all my fault.”
The mournful tone in his admission twisted my gut into a knot. This wasn’t Carter’s fault, not by a long shot. Before I could speak though, he went on. “I shouldn’t have come here. If I’d stayed home, none of this would have happened. Paige would still be here, and you’d be together.”
I squeezed his waist, trying to comfort him as best I could. He lowered his head and rested his cheek on my shoulder. “I just wanted to be with you,” he said softly.
“I know, babe. And I wanted to be with you.” I rubbed his back with my good hand. “This isn’t your fault. Before you arrived, what Paige and I had were a few good times and some hot sex. But we didn’t have a relationship really. You made that happen.”
He sniffed. “Look where that got us.”
“It’s my fault,” I said, unable to let Carter continue to blame himself. “I pushed her to have both of us. Hell, I’d been bringing up the idea of a threesome practically since the minute I met her.” A groan burst out of my compressed chest. “But I really wanted to have both of you. And for the shortest, most miraculous time, I did.” I struggled to get any air into my aching lungs.
Was it possible to die of a broken heart? Because it really felt like I was about to take my last breath.
Carter gripped both sides of my head. “Listen to me, Rye. You didn’t force anyone into anything. Paige wanted everything that happened.”
Through my tears, I held his gaze. “Did you want it? Or did you do it for me?”
He exhaled, then hung his head. “I was attracted to her from the beginning. But in my mind, it was a one-night stand, maybe two. After I started getting to know her and seeing how happy you were, especially when the three of us were together, I let myself consider something more.” He r
aised his chin and pinned me with his stare. “So yes, I did want it. I do want it.”
“But? I can hear a ‘but’ there.”
Carter lowered his hands to my shoulders. “Let’s sit down.”
I followed him to the couch. We sat next to each other, our thighs and shoulders touching. He took my hand. “Do you understand what happened earlier? Why Paige was so upset?”
“Her daughter was hurt.”
“A daughter neither of us knew about,” Carter added, arching his brow.
Flexing my sore fingers, I mulled that over. “I don’t get why she didn’t tell us about Emma earlier.”
“Don’t you?”
No, I didn’t care that Paige had a kid. Hell, many women her age did. It was hardly unique. Did I care that she was eighteen? Okay, I was man enough to admit that it took me aback a bit, but really, what did it matter?
“I guess she thought her daughter’s age would be a hard limit for me.” I shifted on the couch, lifting my knee onto the cushion so I could look at Carter. That’s when I saw the tears on his cheeks. I wiped them off with my thumb. He immediately flushed. I gave him a weak smile. “Our age difference was an issue for her, not me.”
“So it doesn’t matter to you at all that when you were ten, Paige was already a mom? Or that Emma is just a few years younger than Amber?”
I shook my head. “Not in the slightest.”
His expression brightened. “I didn’t think it would.” He gripped my arm. “But besides Emma’s age, I think Paige expected us to walk away as soon as we heard about the Down syndrome.”
Anger rose in my chest, but before I could give voice to it, Carter put a finger on my lips. “Hear me out.” He waited for my grudging nod before continuing. “I see this a lot with the parents of my students and my own mother. Many of them have lost family and friends because people are uncomfortable around children with disabilities. And it only gets worse as the kids get older.” He squeezed my thigh. “We don’t know a lot about Paige or her background, but I can bet that similar things have happened to her. She’s lost people, probably boyfriends over this.”
A lightbulb went off in my head. “She never talked about having been pregnant, but she did say she married too young and that her marriage only lasted a few years. I’m betting her husband, Emma’s father, walked out on her and Emma.”
Carter sighed. “Children with Down syndrome can be very challenging.”
“But to walk out on your own kid?”
“Financially and emotionally, it’s a lot to carry.” The hand Carter had left on my thigh clenched. “Fuck, people can be such assholes.”
“Yeah, and she expected the same from us. I could see it in her eyes. When she told us about Emma and that she had Downs, she expected us to turn tail and head for the hills.” But why? Carter was a special-education teacher. His younger brother had autism. He was used to dealing with children with disabilities. I had never met a more patient and understanding man. So it had to be me. She didn’t trust me to handle the situation well. She didn’t trust me to want to even try. “Correction: she expected me to run for the hills. God, do I really come across as that shallow?”
“Hell, no.”
“Then why?”
Carter gripped my nape and brought our foreheads together. “She’s scared, Rye.”
“We should go to her room.” I reached up to take hold of his arm. I needed to touch him, draw strength from this man I loved so much. Linking our fingers together, I stood. “We’ll explain to her that we’re okay with everything. That there’s nothing for her to be scared of.”
He rose and ran his fingers over the edge of my jaw. “I really love this about you. How accepting you are. I don’t think it’s something most people see, but I do. You’re a good man, Riley Kendrick.”
Warmth spreading throughout my chest, I pressed against Carter’s fingers. He cupped my cheek. The heat of his palm seeped into my face. It felt so damn good. Our connection had grown from nothing to everything. I wasn’t going to lose Carter too. “You’re a better one, Carter Templeton.” I grinned. “Or should I say Eric Thornton?”
“God.” Carter grunted. “I fucking hate that name.”
I smiled. “So, what do you say? We march over to Paige’s room and make our case?”
“I don’t think she’s ready for that. Remember that night in Liverpool? She wouldn’t talk to you. I say we give her time to calm down first.”
“Shit, you’re right. But what are we supposed to do? Hell, she could be on her way to the airport right now.”
“Riley, you saw her. She’s too upset to hear reason at the moment. If we press her, it’s only going to make things worse, not better. Give her some time, and have a little faith.”
I took a deep breath and nodded. Paige needed time. And I needed to get myself in check. I cradled my throbbing fist to my chest. I’d punched a wall, for Christ’s sake. And I’d had a damn hard time letting her walk out of the room. If Carter hadn’t been there, who knew what I’d have done? Probably something that would have made things a hell of a lot worse.
I looked up at him. “I hope you’re right. Because I can’t lose her.”
He touched my cheek, his expression so solemn, I wanted to cry. “I know. We’ll fix it.”
I hoped to God we could. Losing Paige wasn’t something I could live with.
CARTER
I woke up in the suite I was sharing with Riley, not surprised to find myself still alone in bed, the other side undisturbed, the sheets cool to the touch. The faint clicking of Riley’s keyboard came from the next room. I’d fallen asleep to that sound. It was good that Riley was working, trying to get his feelings on paper instead of pounding the walls again.
I looked at my phone. Three AM. Paige had left the room almost twelve hours ago. Was that enough time?
Probably. Of course, if she was sleeping—something I wished Riley could do—I didn’t want to disturb her. But I didn’t want to miss her in case she’d decided to fly out to Miami. Maybe we should go camp out in the lobby, just to be sure.
I rose and dressed, then checked on Riley. God, he looked like hell, his hair sticking up in clumps, his right hand purple and swollen around the knuckles.
“Did you ice it?” I asked, motioning to Riley’s hand.
“Yes, Dad.” The sarcasm in his tone made me smile. He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. I touched his cheek, tracing the dark circles that hadn’t been there before. “You should get some rest.”
He shrugged, then shook his head. “I’m too keyed up.”
“And apparently well-caffeinated.” I gestured to the half-full mug beside the keyboard and the large coffee urn sitting on the other side of it. “Ordered some room service, I see.”
“I’m not sleeping until I talk to her. You don’t know how hard it’s been not to jump out of this chair and march over to her room and demand that she talk to me.” He rubbed a hand over his bleary eyes again. “But I know that would be a disaster, especially without you there.” He flexed his bruised hand and winced. “It’s not like me to do something like this.”
“I know.” I’d seen Riley come a bit unglued once when the paparazzi had followed us somewhere, but he hadn’t been violent. Just very unhappy.
“I mean, I wasn’t like this when I lost Amber and Holden. I was angry and upset, and I damn sure yelled a lot, but I didn’t go around punching things.”
I felt a little pang. Would Riley have done the same over me? Or was it only Paige who affected him so deeply?
“Why don’t you take a quick shower? I was thinking we should go stake out the lobby, in case she tries to slip away.”
“Good idea. I’ll be right back.” Riley shut his laptop and wagged a finger me. “No peeking. I’m not sure about what I’ve written. Let me digest it first, and then you can look when I’m ready. Okay?”
“Okay.” I poured myself a cup of coffee while Riley headed to the bathroom. Might as well try to perk myself up. We had a
long night ahead.
CARTER
Someone shook my shoulder. The hand on my arm was small, feminine, the fingernails lightly pressing into my skin. Paige? I opened my eyes to take in a gorgeous Latina standing in front of me. Riley was still snoozing, his head pillowed on my other shoulder.
The woman motioned to him. “That must be Riley. And you must be Carter.” She was wearing a dark green figure-hugging dress that made me want to whistle in appreciation.
“And you are?” I asked, my voice raspy with sleep.
“Arianna Rodriguez. Paige’s boss.”
I looked around the hotel lobby, my gut tightening in alarm. “Has she left already?”
Arianna flipped a mass of shiny black hair over her shoulder and took a seat in the chair next to the couch we were sitting on. “You’d better wake him up for this.”
I shook Riley awake, glad that he’d gotten some sleep instead of spending the whole night fretting. I glanced at my watch. Seven AM.
“What’s going on?” Riley asked, yawning and stretching, his eyes finally latching on to Arianna and widening. He looked at me. “Who’s this lovely creature?” he asked.
I smirked. Riley never missed a beat. Except when it came to Paige. “Arianna Rodriguez. Paige’s boss.”
He straightened and ran a hand over his hair. “Fuck. I mean—”
Arianna smiled and waved his words away. “I’ve been cursing since I was twelve. Don’t worry about my tender ears.”
“Is Paige here?” he asked, the hope in his voice giving me another pang.
Arianna shook her head slowly. “I’m afraid not. She checked out yesterday afternoon and spent the night at Heathrow waiting for a flight out. We crossed paths a few hours ago.”
“Fuck!” he said, and slammed his bruised hand onto the cushion beside him. “I knew we should have gone after her.”
I put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry I made the wrong call.”
Arianna shook her head again. “I don’t think you could’ve stopped her, no matter what you did. She was still a mess when I saw her right before she got on the plane.”