by Alexis Davie
“Brady, you turned first?” Jasper said.
“This is bullshit,” Brady burst out, jumping to his feet. “Yeah, I turned first. Who cares? We’re immortal, Jasper, more powerful than any human, and yet we hide away, jumping at shadows, giving the humans all of the power, and I’m starting to get a little sick of it.”
“So your answer to that was to rape a human?” Jasper said coldly.
“I didn’t fucking rape anyone,” Brady snapped back.
“Only because I stopped you before you got a chance,” Jasper said. “Now, sit down and stay down until I say otherwise.”
Brady sat back down but he was still glaring daggers at Jasper.
“She was asking for it, Jasper. She was totally into me, but she was playing hard to get, being a little fucking prick tease. It wouldn’t have been rape—she’d have loved it,” Brady said.
“No way,” Clay interjected. “It was me she was into and you know it.”
“So, Lila told both of you she liked you?” Jasper said.
Please don’t let that be true, he thought desperately.
“Well, no, she denied it, but it was obvious,” Brady said with a shrug. “That bitch wanted it.”
Jasper felt his anger starting to flood back in. He took a deep breath, and when he spoke again, his voice was low and dangerous.
“So, Lila told you she wasn’t into either of you and you both just decided she was lying?” Jasper growled. Brady opened his mouth to respond but Jasper raised his hand and Brady fell silent again. “I should tear the two of you limb from limb. You not only broke the two main rules of the pack, but you were ready to rape a human. And don’t give me this bullshit about how she really wanted it.”
“I’m so sorry,” Clay interrupted. “I hold my hands up, Jasper. I fucked up big time. I got caught up in the moment and I let the animal instincts in me overpower my rational side. I am a disgrace to the pack.”
“What the fuck are you saying?” Brady demanded, turning to Clay. Jasper thought about cutting him off, but he wanted to hear where this was going. “She’s just a human, a lesser species. And humans have been persecuting us for years. It’s time we took back the power.”
“Get out,” Jasper said so quietly that by rights no one should have heard him. He could tell by the way both heads turned to him quickly and both men fell silent that they had heard him, though. “Clay, you are to go nowhere near Lila, and you will stop drinking. I’ll work out the rest of your punishment later. Brady, you’re banished.”
Clay nodded his head and scuttled away before Jasper could change his mind. Brady stayed in place, his face dark with anger.
“Banished? Are you fucking kidding me?” he snapped.
“Do I look like I’m kidding you?” Jasper said. “You are a disgrace to the pack, to our very species. Leave town, now, today, and don’t come back. If I see you here again after tonight, I won’t hesitate to kill you. And the same will go for the rest of the pack.”
Brady shook his head and gave a bitter laugh.
“If only I’d lost the fight with Clay, he’d be banished and I’d be getting to stay,” he said.
“No,” Jasper replied. “Clay showed remorse, and he isn’t he one who attempted to rape a defenseless woman. I believe he will amend his ways. You defended your actions. You have made it clear you think mistreating humans is okay, and in my pack, in my town, that’s not okay.”
“But…” Brady started.
“Go, Brady. Before I change my mind and kill you on the spot,” Jasper snarled.
Something in his tone must have told Brady he was serious because he stood up and made for the door. He looked back at Jasper and shook his head and then he was gone, leaving Jasper alone, shaking with anger.
Jasper paced the floor, willing himself to stay calm until he managed to placate his bear. Once he was confident he was back in control, he sent a text to his pack beta telling him what had happened and asking him to put out the word of Brady’s banishment to the rest of the pack and to keep an eye on Clay and make sure he behaved himself while he thought up further punishment for him.
Once he’d sent the text, he checked his watch. He had just enough time to get changed and rush over to the restaurant to meet Lila.
Am I doing the right thing? he thought to himself. Pulling Lila into my world? What if something like this happens to her again? He reminded himself that what had happened to her had happened before he had ever gone near her, and that being with him was actually much safer than not. He reminded himself that his pack members weren’t ruled by animal instincts; Brady and, to some extent, Clay were the exception, not the rule.
He just had to find a way to tell Lila the truth about himself. He didn’t know when the right time to do that would be. He just had to hope that he would know the moment when it presented itself. And he had to really hope that Lila could forgive him for not telling her straight away.
* * *
Jasper had made it to the restaurant with just five minutes to spare. Now he was regretting rushing around. It was already after eight and there was still no sign of Lila.
Where is she? he thought to himself. Realization dawned on him and he grabbed his cell phone. Had Lila somehow gotten her wires crossed and thought he was still picking her up? Was she sitting at home waiting for him, getting more and more annoyed with how late he was?
On some level, Jasper knew this wasn’t true. His text had been clear enough and Lila had replied to it, but the other option, the one where Lila had stood him up, was too painful to even contemplate so Jasper chose to keep believing it was all just a misunderstanding.
He called Lila and listened to the ringing sound in his ear. The call went to voicemail and he felt himself go cold inside. Lila was ignoring his call. She had stood him up. They were over before they had even begun. Jasper’s bear growled uneasily inside of him, and rather than trying to push it down, Jasper nodded his head.
“I feel it too,” he said under his breath. “I fucking feel it too.”
10
Lila resisted the urge to look at her cell phone. She had ignored Jasper’s call five minutes ago and by the time he called, she would already have been forty minutes late for their date. There was no way he was going to call again. Not that it matters anyway, she told herself. Even if he calls again, I’m not taking his call. I have nothing to say to him.
Lila knew she was right to ignore Jasper. He had lied to her, or at the very least, omitted something pretty major. That told her everything she needed to know about him and she didn’t intend on getting mixed up with him. She had seen firsthand what his kind were capable of.
She couldn’t help but shudder at the memory of the bear on top of her. She could feel the heat of its breath on her cheeks again. She could see its soulless eyes looking down into hers. And then suddenly, the image was gone and instead, she saw Jasper. His beautiful brown eyes, so full of compassion as he looked down at her. She remembered his magical touch, gentle yet able to rouse every nerve in her body, his fingers bringing her to life, awakening something in her she hadn’t known was even possible.
God, she wanted to see him again. But she couldn’t. He was just like Brady and Clay. Except he wasn’t. He had saved her. And after he had chased the other two away, he had had every chance to take her against her will. To do whatever he wanted to do to her. But he hadn’t. He had been the perfect gentleman and when they had made love, because she couldn’t think of it as just fucking no matter how much she had tried to, his touch wasn’t violent or animalistic. It was tender and she knew in her heart that if at any moment she had said she wanted to stop, Jasper would have stopped, no questions asked.
She remembered how she had felt falling asleep beside him. How warm and safe and protected she had felt. It didn’t matter, though. He had purposely misled her.
She couldn’t help having thoughts of Brady and Clay invade her mind again. There was no doubt those two were monsters. Sure, Hayley had said that they were just
assholes, but if they were that bad and they were afraid of Jasper, just how bad was he?
But he wasn’t bad. He had scared the two bears, sure, but it wasn’t like they didn’t deserve it. If he was a monster, he would have joined in, or at best left them to it. So he was strong, wild. But if he used that strength for good, how could he be bad? And he hadn’t used her, she realized. He had wanted to see her again that night. He wanted to date her. Did that make him a monster?
She was starting to think she had been too hasty. Even after one night in Jasper’s company, she knew deep down he was nothing like Clay and Brady. And even before they had connected, she had never felt threatened or on edge when he was in the bar; in fact, she always felt safer when he was around.
Fuck it, she thought. I have to give him a chance to explain, if nothing else. And then I’ll see how I feel after I’ve talked to him. If he still wants to talk to me after I stood him up, that is.
Lila felt the cold fingers of dread caressing her at the realization that she could have lost Jasper for good by standing him up. What would she do if he refused to talk to her? The thought made her throat tighten, and she knew in that moment that she was right; she had to talk to him, to see him, to maybe even kiss him.
She picked up her cell phone before she could talk herself out if it again. She cringed when she saw the time. It was almost nine. She sighed. She would never forgive herself if she had screwed this up before it even had a real chance to begin.
She hit call and listened to the ringing sound. She was so certain that Jasper wouldn’t take her call, that when he did, she was mute for a moment.
“Lila? Are you okay?” Jasper’s voice came down the line.
He sounded so close and Lila could almost feel his breath tickling her ear. Lila cleared her throat, pushing away the image of Jasper’s lips moving over her neck, his hand moving down her body.
“Umm, hi. Yes, I’m okay. I’m sorry I didn’t come to meet you. I… can we talk?” she stuttered out.
“Of course,” Jasper said without hesitation. “Where do you want to meet?”
Lila felt warmth inside of herself. He was still willing to talk to her. Maybe, just maybe, they could make this work after all. If he could get past her standing him up, and she could get past what he was, they had a chance.
“Come to my apartment,” Lila said. “I live above the bar.”
She didn’t know if it was the right idea to invite Jasper into her home before she had talked to him about everything, but the conversation they were about to have wouldn’t be a good idea in a public setting.
“I’m on my way,” Jasper said. “See you in five.”
He hung up the call, leaving Lila sitting listening to a dead line. She put her cell phone back down on the arm of the couch. When she had told Jasper to come to her apartment, she had expected to feel nervous, maybe even a little scared, but she didn’t. Instead, she felt excited at the thought of seeing Jasper again.
By the time he rang her intercom, she had to remind herself that she was angry he had kept his true identity a secret from her and that she needed to talk to him and find out exactly what she might be getting herself into before anything could happen between them.
She pressed the button to open the door, and after pulling her apartment door ajar, she went back to the couch. She wanted to be seated when Jasper walked in. If she was standing before him, she wasn’t sure she could stop herself from stepping into his arms and kissing him.
She listened to his footsteps on the stairs and in the hallway. Her stomach whirled and her heart beat faster. She swallowed, trying to calm herself down, but it didn’t work. Jasper stepped into view. He was every bit as gorgeous as Lila remembered—maybe even more gorgeous than she had remembered, and the sight of him did nothing to calm her racing heart.
“Hey,” he said from the doorway.
“Hey,” she replied. “Come in.”
Jasper stepped inside and closed the door behind him. He walked slowly toward her and sat down beside her on the couch. He wasn’t close enough for them to be touching, but Lila could still feel the heat from his thigh washing over hers, and she found herself wishing he was close enough to be touching her.
She shook her head slightly, shaking away the thoughts. It was time to ask all of the questions she needed to ask. And once she had the answers, she would decide then if she could really do this.
11
When Jasper had seen Lila’s name appear on the screen of his cell phone, he had known he should ignore the call and send her to voicemail. She had stood him up, after all. He also knew there wasn’t a chance in hell he was actually going to do that.
He had taken the call and Lila had invited him to her apartment. He had no idea what was going on here. First Lila had seemed as into him as he was into her, and then she had blown him off, and now she wanted him to go to her place. He needed to get to the bottom of this and find out why she was blowing hot and cold, because her rejection of him had hurt like hell; it had hurt more than anything had ever hurt him before, and he knew he couldn’t deal with that kind of pain again. Knowing he could get hurt was a risk he was willing to take to be with Lila again, though.
He had practically run from his building and to his car, and he made it to the bar in record time. He had parked his car and moved around to the back of the building where he had found the door to Lila’s apartment. She hadn’t spoken when he rang the bell; he had just heard the door clicking open. He had taken the stairs quickly, and then in the corridor, he suddenly began to feel a little nervous. He had no idea why Lila had stood him up and he was suddenly afraid that she had been going to just ditch him, but then felt guilty and decided to give him an explanation. Surely, if that were the case, she wouldn’t have invited him to her apartment.
He had told himself to just go in and take it as it came. And now he found himself perched nervously on the couch beside Lila. He had wanted so badly to kiss her hello, but something stopped him. It wasn’t just his own fear of rejection. He could tell by Lila’s body language, the way she fiddled with her fingernails and didn’t quite look him in the eye, that she was nervous about this.
“I know,” she said after a long, rather awkward pause that had filled the room for entirely too long.
“You know what?” Jasper asked, completely flummoxed now.
“I know you’re a shifter,” Lila said quietly, not quite meeting his eye.
Fuck, he thought. He remembered the shudder of revulsion that had gone through her when she had talked about Clay and Brady. But he wasn’t them. And she had invited him over knowing what he was, so maybe all wasn’t lost. He just wished he had been able to tell her himself.
“How do you know?” he asked.
“That’s not the point, Jasper. The point is, you didn’t tell me yourself,” she said.
She was right, he knew, and he took a deep breath. Now he had a chance to be honest with Lila and he wasn’t going to throw that chance away again.
“I wanted to,” he said. “I really did and I’m sorry that I didn’t. I planned on telling you this morning, but then I saw the disgust on your face when you talked about Brady and Clay and how they were monsters, and I just couldn’t. I couldn’t stand the thought of you thinking of me like that. I was going to tell you, though; I just wanted you to get to know me a bit better first. I wanted you to have long enough to see that I’m not like them.”
“I did think you were a monster when I first found out,” Lila said.
Jasper felt as though she had stabbed him in the heart, but she was still talking, and her next words softened the blow a little bit.
“But then I gave myself time to get over the initial shock and I know you’re not like them. I know you’re different, Jasper.”
“Technically, it’s Brady and Clay who are different. Most shifters are just regular guys who also happen to be bears,” Jasper said.
Lila gave him a tentative smile, the first one since he’d sat down beside her.
“Way to talk yourself out of being the hero,” she said quietly.
“I lied to you once, Lila, and I’m sorry. But I swear I won’t do it again,” he said solemnly and then he smiled too. “Even if that means showing you that I’m just a regular guy, not a hero.”
“A regular guy is just fine by me,” Lila said.
She fell quiet for a moment and Jasper took the chance to collect his thoughts. At least now he knew why she had stood him up. He was still curious as to how she knew his true identity, but he wasn’t going to risk upsetting her by pushing for a name at this point. Instead, he had to ask the question he was most afraid of the answer to. He had to know if there was a chance for them.
“I understand why you were a bit freaked out by this, especially when you didn’t hear it directly from me,” he said. “But Lila, I really like you. In fact, the way I feel about you—I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. And if you’re willing to give us a chance, we can take this as slowly as you want to.”
“I’d like to give this a try,” Lila said. Jasper felt his heart soar and he reached out toward Lila. She took his hand in hers before he could reach her face, before he could lean in and kiss her. He felt some of the joy leave him, but he reminded himself she hadn’t pushed him away. “But you have to promise me you’ll never lie to me again. And that includes lies by omission.”
Jasper nodded slowly.
“I promise,” he said. “I swear on my life.”
“Good,” Lila said. “Because I have questions.”
“I’ll tell you anything you want to know, but first, I have one question,” Jasper said. He smiled. “Can I kiss you now?”
“Yes,” Lila said without hesitation.
Jasper got to his feet, so happy he felt like he might float away. He reached down a hand to Lila, who took it. He pulled her gently to her feet and hauled her against him. He wrapped his arms around her and leaned down, his lips meeting hers. He had planned on a gentle kiss, a kiss that would show Lila the truth of his words—that he had never felt this way about anyone before and that he would take things as slowly as she needed to.