“Numismatic? Don’t start going all stuffy on me,” he says.
“Not a chance.” I raise my mug again. “Another toast. To new beginnings.”
Prescott raises his mug also and looks right in my eyes. I notice a few flakes have fallen on his thick lashes as he says, “To new beginnings.” We clink mugs again but this time, our eyes never leave each other.
Prescott
My eyes are focused on his as the snow falls gently on both of us. A snowflake lands on his nose and melts. I think about brushing off the small droplet of water left behind. I’ve said more about myself tonight than I think I’ve ever shared with anyone before. He made it so easy. He made it so I wanted to do it and now I just want to be even closer to him.
I move my mouth closer to his. He tilts his head and that makes me stare at his lips. They’re dry from the cold air and what I think they need more than anything is my lips on them. For a split second I think about fighting the urge to kiss him but I feel so close to him in the moment, so appreciative of the warmth of the evening despite the falling temperatures. I’ve worked so hard to keep myself in check to not show any cracks to anyone that when I finally do my entire being seems to want to emerge and right now it wants to share itself with Danny.
I close my eyes and slowly move toward his lips, hoping I’ll find his easily. When I do, I’m suddenly aware of how connected I feel to this man who I thought I despised. When he invites me in, I accept the invitation warmly. My lips open gradually and my tongue begins to entwine with his. I can feel the snow landing on my cheeks, and the scent of hot chocolate and marshmallows wafts up from the mugs we have managed to somehow still hold on to. We are on a bench with snow falling all around us and the moon shining like a lantern in the sky. We are kissing.
I put my mug down on the bench and go to touch his face. The feel of his stubble against my hand is electric and the sensation goes straight from my finger to places deep inside me. A sharp wind races around us and I feel Danny shiver. I go to put my arms around him but he pulls back and shifts away from me.
“Brrr. That wind is cold,” he says abruptly. “The snow’s slowing down. We better get some good pics before it stops completely.” He gets up from the bench like he’s been ejected from it, grabs the camera and starts snapping away. I’m sitting by myself feeling like a balloon that has just been popped. What the hell is going on? How did we go from kissing so sweetly to a photo shoot in under five seconds?
“Danny,” I say even though I’m not sure what will follow.
I put my hands to my lips. Am I that bad a kisser? Did I totally misread the signals? Was it all one-sided? I thought we were feeling something. I thought we were connecting. This is why I never open up to guys. It’s not worth it. But that kiss...
I feel as unsure as I am confused. Only a few seconds ago we had our lips pressed against each other. Our tongues were just beginning to explore parts unknown. I felt him, not just physically. I felt his compassion, his understanding, his humor. How does he go from that to standing in the middle of a snow-covered road taking pictures of two buildings that are about to be torn down?
“Danny, what are you doing?” I ask calmly, hoping there is some explanation for this berserk behavior. I’m devastated. “I know we came here to take pictures but we were just...”
“About to miss this great shot. I agree,” he says cutting me off swiftly. “I saw a few clouds approaching and the moonlight is so pretty right now that I didn’t want them to suddenly drift in front of the moon and ruin the pic.” He continues getting different angles. I don’t see a single cloud. In fact the flurries have stopped and the night air is crisp and perfectly clear except for the giant Snow Moon that hangs above us. I’m not a meteorologist but it doesn’t seem like there’s even a chance of a cloud appearing.
I’m too humiliated by him bouncing away from me to say anything and too hurt to participate in his pretend excuse for a photo shoot. I just sit on the bench, more uncomfortable with each passing second.
“You know I thought maybe you were a reasonable person,” I say breaking my steely silence. “But I see now you must have laced the cocoa with something because I think I temporarily lost my mind,” I say unable to contain myself any longer. I don’t know what else to do. Danny is ignoring me. He continues to take pictures like I’m not even there with him. I’m beginning to feel invisible. How can he neglect me like this after I shared more with him tonight than I’ve shared with anyone in a long time? After I just had my lips on his beautiful face and felt his scruff against my cold cheek. He left me midkiss with my lips puckered to cold air.
“Danny,” I say quietly and the only sound in response is the snow crunching under his feet as he works the shot. “Danny!” I say again much louder but the silence from him is just as loud. I can’t take it anymore and shout, “Danny, stop it! Why are you being such a jerk?”
He lets his camera drop to his waist and freezes. We are staring at each other. I don’t know what is happening in this moment. Maybe he’ll come back to the bench and finish what we started or maybe he’ll walk away and we’ll never mention it again.
“I knew it,” he says turning his face away from me. “I knew you would eventually say something insulting like that. We came out here to take pictures and all I’m doing is making sure I’m getting the best shots. That makes me a jerk?” A gust of cold air sweeps around us. “Here,” he says walking over to me. As soon as he is within kissing distance again my entire body tenses. For a second I think maybe we are having a breakthrough but instead he hands me the camera. “It’s a self-explanatory DSLR. Take as many pictures of your precious Yardley House as you want.” He puts the camera in my hands and then goes to the bench and starts packing up the thermos and mugs.
“You’re leaving?” I ask, my voice made dull by the patches of snow.
“I’ve got some work to do.”
“It’s almost midnight,” I say.
“Just bring the camera in tomorrow. I’ll download the images for social off the card.” He grabs his stuff and disappears around the corner.
“Wait... Danny... Danny.” I call after him but he’s already gone around the corner. I go back to the bench we were sitting on and stare straight ahead. I can’t believe what I did. Opening myself up like that and then not being able to see the difference between friendly chitchat and flirting. He kissed me back. I know he did. But then why did he jump up and try to pick some stupid fight with me? I’ll take a pair of pewter candlesticks over a guy any day of the week. Pewter is easier to figure out.
Chapter Twelve
Danny
I walk away from Prescott with my thermos and mugs but as soon as I’m around the corner and sure he can’t see me, I run. The sidewalk is icy and there’s a good chance I might fall and break both my arms, not to mention the two precious midcentury ladybug mugs I’m carrying in the tote, but I don’t care. I need to get as far away from him as I can. I run all the way back to my apartment and up the stairs straight to Lizard’s room. I open the door. The lights are off and she is clearly sound asleep. I sit down next to her snoring face.
“Lizard, are you awake?” I ask shoving her with my hand. She doesn’t move. “Lizard,” I say a little louder but my shove is more like a strong poke.
“Get your finger out of my belly button,” she grumbles through clenched teeth, eyes still closed.
“Oh, good, you’re awake,” I say turning on the lamp next to her and crawling into her bed.
“Danny, what are you doing? I gotta work a double tomorrow.” She puts her pillow over her head and turns the lamp off.
“He kissed me,” I announce.
“Oh, crap,” I hear from under the pillow.
“I know, right?” I say in agreement.
“Not you,” she says, removing the pillow and sitting up like a jack-in-the-box that has just been released. She turns the lamp on. “Oh
crap, me. I owe Vince twenty bucks. He had tonight. I had next Tuesday. It was the only square left by the time it got to me.”
“Please don’t tell me what I think you are telling me. There isn’t a pool about me and Prescott kissing. Tell me there isn’t.”
“Okay, there isn’t,” she says in a tone that tells me there absolutely is. “But, can you lend me twenty bucks?”
“This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen. I don’t need this pressure. I don’t want to be with anyone right now, you know that.”
“Then why did you kiss him?”
“That’s not exactly how it happened.” I sigh, lying down next to her in bed and staring up at the ceiling. I thought maybe once I broke the spell of the moonlight I would be able to stop thinking about how his lips felt on mine, but it’s all I can think of.
“How exactly did it happen?”
“He kissed me,” I say. “He kissed me.” It’s so hard for me to believe that I have to say it out loud twice. “Can you believe it, Lizard?”
“What are you talking about? Of course I can believe it. It’s so obvious he has a thing for you. I saw how he was looking at you at the meeting. At one point I thought Serilda was going to put on Luther Vandross, light some candles and make us all leave so the two of you could get it on.”
“Oh, that’s not true,” I say waving her away.
I close my eyes. I have to struggle to push the image of Prescott’s face so close to mine out my brain. I don’t want to be the center of town gossip. “This is bad. So bad.”
“Why? He kissed you. That’s great. How was it?”
“Wonderful,” I say immediately. The word races out of my mouth before my brain can stop it. The truth is it was wonderful. I felt connected to him, and the kiss was such a natural progression. “It couldn’t have been more perfect except for the small fact that it never should have happened.”
“Why? Because you work together? So what? It’s not like you’re his boss or he’s yours.”
Certainly working together is an issue. Not an issue of a power imbalance but still it’s a bit of an issue. The bigger issue is more complicated.
I sit on the bed and hold my legs. Lizard does the same and grabs my hands. “Danny, what’s going on? Just tell me.”
I’m intentionally silent for a few moments.
“Is it Paul?”
My throat and the muscles in my back tighten.
“I’m sorry he hurt you that way,” she says putting her hand on my chest and rubbing gently. “That guy is such a...”
“I know. He is. I mean, he was. I’m not hung up on Paul. I’m not. It’s just that...” I can barely finish the sentence. Finding Paul in our bed with another man was so painful. My mind flashes to walking in on them naked and entwined. Waiting in the kitchen as the personal trainer that I paid for each week got dressed. Discovering he had maxed out three of my credit cards. I trusted him and thought he loved me. But I was so wrapped up in pleasing him that I couldn’t see the truth. That’s more painful than anything else. When Paul said he was stressed I immediately booked a trip to Costa Brava. When he was bored with his workout I hired an exclusive personal trainer for him. Not my greatest idea.
“Lizard,” I say and swallow hard. “The problem is when I fall for a guy I completely lose myself and ruin the entire thing. Paul turned out to be a colossal jerk, but if I hadn’t jumped in so hard and fast I would have seen the signs. I don’t want to do that again. I want to focus on my business not someone else right now. I can’t.”
“I guess that makes sense,” Lizard says brushing her hand on my arm for comfort. Her care makes me feel a bit more confident in my decision,
“Signing the lease for the shop wasn’t just about starting a new business. It’s about starting a new chapter in my life. Leaving my family’s shadow to start something on my own, supporting myself with my own income. Standing on my own two feet. With Paul I was throwing money around to the point that I didn’t even know who I was or why I was doing it. I do it all the time with guys and I don’t want to do that again.”
“Danny, if you really have feelings for this guy you won’t act like you did with Paul. And you aren’t the kind of person who can hold back their emotions. That isn’t you. You always follow your heart even when it leads you down some rough roads.”
“Well, not tonight. For the first time ever I found the emergency brake. I could feel things heating up and before it could go any further I jumped up and pushed him away.”
“Huh? I don’t get it. What did you do?” she asks yawning but engaged.
“Oh, Lizard, it was awful. I’m so embarrassed.” I cringe thinking about how mean it was but it was a fight or flight moment and I chose both. “I started taking pictures, which was the pretense for being out there in the first place. I just got up midkiss... I was enjoying it too much. I knew deep down that if it went on even a second longer it would be too late. I knew I’d be hooked on him. But I’m not sure I got away in time.”
“So now he thinks it was just a what? A lip slip?”
“Yes, that’s it. A lip slip. One that will never happen again.”
I smile at her, hoping she will believe me. Pulling away from Prescott was painful and immature. I know it. I felt like a kid who gets his tongue stuck to a frozen flagpole on a dare. I loved having our tongues entwined and waiting to see what would happen next but I had to stop it. I had to shut it down because the fact is I could very easily fall for Prescott and once I start falling I’m all in and start trusting guys I shouldn’t and doing things I shouldn’t. It’s better to stop it before it gets out of control again, right?
“Hey, Lizard?” I ask softly. “Is it okay if I just sleep in here with you tonight?” I ask. Her bed is huge and we’ve done this before when one of us had a stressful day or disaster date. It just feels good to sleep and know that there is someone near you sometimes.
“Of course.” She turns off the lamp and rolls over to the other side of the bed and starts snoring.
I stare up at the ceiling. The Snow Moon creates shadows so crisp that the branches from the tree outside the window appear like shadow puppets across the room. I notice one branch intertwined with another that creates a cluster of dark shapes that combine to create one continuous figure. It might as well be a silhouette of Prescott and me on the bench in the snow kissing. I close my eyes and try to sleep holding on to that beautiful image, but I know that once the sun rises, the shadows will have disappeared.
Chapter Thirteen
Prescott
I keep replaying last night in my mind as I’m sitting at my desk alone in the shop staring out the window. I see us setting up for the event, Danny making me feel confident about giving my talk, seeing him beam at me during my lecture. Feeling so comfortable with him that I just opened up and told him things I don’t really tell anyone. But it’s not even what I said. It’s how he made me feel.
I can’t stop thinking about it all—the snow, the hot cocoa and the moon illuminating the whole town as we sat on the bench next to each other.
Finally, the kiss.
I bring my fingers to my lips. I can still feel how his mouth felt on mine and how his scruffy beard rubbed against my cheeks. The snow from last night has settled and a sharp wind is making its way through the streets and alleys of New Hope. My mind was so preoccupied with going over the details from last night that I barely felt the cold as I walked across the bridge this morning to the store. Then a gust of wind attacked my exposed skin and boom, I remembered the humiliation of him jumping up, away from me.
I get up and head to the pantry when I notice that there are four blue creatures sitting on a shelf next to my garniture—an urn, matching candlesticks and elegant castor set in crystal. At first it makes me giggle to see the little creatures mixed with my pieces. They must have gotten mixed on my side when we were cleaning up last night. M
y smile grows until I remember how it felt when Danny ripped his lips away from mine and my smile vanishes. It’s replaced by the attitude I usually show the world—reserved and in control.
I’ve worked very hard to make sure my displays are perfectly arranged; the last thing I want is some of Danny’s toys mixed with my merchandise. I walk over to the shelf and pick one up. This particular blue elf is brushing his teeth, the toothbrush up to his mouth and a tube of toothpaste that he has squeezed hard enough for the paste to wriggle out of the top in his hand. I can’t help but smile. It’s so silly and overdone and childish. It looks ridiculous next to the sleek crystal bottle in the castor set which is also overdone but in a much more serious and somewhat maudlin way. Seeing the two together makes me think how Danny would appreciate this and that makes me laugh out loud.
“What’s so funny?” I hear Danny ask as he walks in the store. Just seeing him again makes me want to run over and give that kiss a second try but my brain steps in and tells me that he’s already rejected me once and that’s more than enough. I won’t humiliate myself again. “Nothing,” I say sharply, putting the figure down.
“Hey, is that Toothy? What’s he doing over there?” he asks, his big smile brightening the room in a way that I can’t deny. He wants to pretend like last night didn’t happen? Fine. I can do that as well.
“That’s an excellent question,” I say with a tone sharper than the spires of Notre Dame. “What is your merchandise doing on my side of the shop? We’ve made very clear rules about who is responsible for which displays. I kindly ask that you keep your toys on your side of the store. My customers do not want little blue men on their antiques.”
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