He felt her shudder, felt her open to him when the silver rush of desire leapt up to grip them tight.
Then he locked her against him and followed her over that jagged edge of madness and need, down into a shining oblivion that somehow felt as familiar and ancient as the rocks that brushed a turquoise sky.
27
Tess awoke in dim gray light before dawn.
She stared at the silent room, remembering the heat and frenzy of the night before. They had tumbled and fought their way across his big bed, giddy from need and too little sleep. He had worshipped her, claimed her, turned her inside out and touched her soul until their desperation had finally been banked in sheer exhaustion.
The way he’d touched her had been like nothing she’d ever imagined.
Which made what she had to do now even more painful.
She watched him sleep, a lock of his dark hair against his forehead. She felt a sharp urge to brush it gently with her fingers.
But she didn’t.
Reason and common sense had returned, and in the painful clarity of dawn Tess knew this was a time for endings, not beginnings. Suddenly she remembered Mae’s words in the café. Almost was a place that people came for all the wrong reasons and stayed for all the right ones. But for Tess the situation was reversed. Her brother’s sending her there had been the wisest course of action, but now leaving was the only thing that made sense. Even one more night spent in the sensual haze that T.J. had evoked so perfectly would make it impossible for her to leave.
No, it had to be today. That morning. Before she had a chance for second thoughts or before he could persuade her otherwise.
After one lingering, wistful look, she carefully rose from the bed so as not to disturb him, swept up her clothes, and tiptoed from the room.
Fifteen minutes later, fully dressed, she sat on the front porch, waiting for Andrew to bring the Mercedes from town. After that they would go directly to the airport, where their flight left in a little over two hours. She stared at the gray clouds over the foothills, reminding herself this was the best choice.
The only choice.
It would be a disaster for her stay.
She stiffened at the sound of bare feet behind her. She had hoped to escape without having to brave this last encounter with T.J.
She didn’t turn as he strode down the steps and braced one arm on the wooden porch beam. “It’s a little early for you to be enjoying the sunrise.”
Her hands clenched on her lap. “I’m leaving.”
“Look at me, Tess.”
She did. It was the worst thing she could have done. His hair was unruly from sleep, and his eyes were tense and smoky. He wore only a pair of well-worn jeans that rode low on his hips, unbuttoned.
She looked away, angry at the naked desire that streaked through her at that one glance.
“You want to run that by me again?”
“You heard me. I’m leaving. We’ve come to the end of the line, T.J.” She tilted her chin and forced her voice to stay calm. “Last night was wonderful. I can’t thank you enough for the memories you gave me.”
His hand opened, gripping the wood beam. “Thank me?” There was a snap of anger in his voice.
“You should go inside. It’s cold out here.”
“We won’t be cold for long,” he said hoarsely, sitting down beside her and pulling her onto his lap.
She twisted blindly, shoving at his chest. “Stop, T.J.”
“Like hell I will.”
She was wound up tight, but the worst part was that some part of her wanted him to rage, wanted him to hold her and tell her that she couldn’t leave today or any other day because he loved her.
But he hadn’t said the words or anything close. Not once.
And she hated herself for caring so much.
“We both know what was happening between us had to come to this, T.J.”
“What?”
“The part where I say good-bye. The part where you shrug stoically and let me go.”
“To hell with being stoic.” He pulled her back against his chest. She closed her eyes, remembering all the fierce pleasure he had brought her through the long, sleepless hours of night.
But memories or not, she was leaving.
She moved off his lap and turned her face away from him to the east, where the first tendrils of dawn curled over the mountains. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because you moaned my name about a dozen times last night, Tess. Because two hours ago you went to sleep with your chin tucked at my chest and your hand nestled right between my thighs. That particular position might have kept me from sleeping if you hadn’t already exhausted every muscle in my body.” His eyes burned. “I guess that entitles me to ask a few questions.”
She flinched. “We both knew this would happen. I don’t fit in here, T.J.”
“Fit in? Hell, you already own this town. Grady wants to give you your own column in the newspaper, and Mae is already talking about running your campaign for mayor next year.”
She closed her eyes, swallowing hard. “I can’t stay. I’ve got my work, my friends. All the life I know is back in Boston.” She took a tense breath. “Besides, there will be weeks of depositions and legal proceedings—things I can’t possibly do from here.”
“Is this about depositions or is it about us?”
“Both. And there’s no reason to shout.”
“I’ll shout all I want to. After last night, I’m entitled. Look at me,” he said, forcing her face up to meet his gaze. “I want to see you when you lie to me.”
“I’m not lying. But it would be a lie for me to stay, can’t you see that? Life goes on. We can’t just—”
“Do you love me?” The words seemed wrenched from deep in his chest.
She dug her fingers into her skirt. How could he ask such a question, when he’d been so careful to keep his own emotions hidden? “No,” she whispered, but there was a broken note in the word. “Now let me go.”
“Not today, tomorrow, or the next thousand years, Tess.”
“Don’t do this, T.J. I’m not up for arguments. I didn’t get too much sleep last night.”
“Neither did I,” he said tightly. “We were both too busy tearing off each other’s clothes and causing grave bodily harm.”
“After that, I meant.”
He laughed grimly. “As I recall, that part went on most of the night.”
She angled her face, glaring at him in the filtered gray light. “I’m going, T.J. I have to.” Softening a bit, she added, “You can keep the cappuccino machine.”
A note of violence dug at his tight control. “To hell with the cappuccino machine. Don’t you like Almost?”
“I like Almost. I just don’t belong here, not long-term.” She closed her eyes and shook her head angrily. “This isn’t a fairy tale, and I’m no damsel pining away in a tower. I have a good life back in Boston and you have a good life here. We just aren’t meant to have them together.”
“So that’s your sage parting advice? I should stay here and forget you.”
“Precisely.” She ignored the stab of pain at her chest. “I want you to be happy, T.J. I want you to meet a wonderful, amazing woman and have wonderful, amazing children who—”
She didn’t finish. He grabbed her in an angry movement and anchored her head between callused fingers. “Then tell me again that you don’t love me, dammit. Tell me that you don’t think about having my hands on you all night long. Tell me that, Tess. Then I’ll let you go,” he said fiercely.
Their eyes held. Tess raised her chin, angry and determined. “We hit all the high notes last night, T.J. It can’t get any better than that. Things will start sliding down from here, and one day—in a week or a month—you’ll wake up bored, resentful, and trying to hide it, because you’re the decent man you are.” She took a jerky breath. “There’s nowhere to go after an experience like last night, can’t you see?”
“We’ve got a lot of high notes left,
Tess.”
Car tires spun over gravel, headed toward the house.
“If that’s Grady, I’ll have to shoot out his tires.”
“It’s Andrew,” Tess said tightly. “I called him to pick me up since I’m ready to leave.”
T.J. muttered a curse. “Just when were you going to say good-bye?”
“At the airport. I was going to call you.” Her face was pale but entirely resolute.
“How many cups of cappuccino have you had?” he growled.
“Not enough.”
The Mercedes came to a hissing halt. Andrew appeared at the wooden gate and took in the two of them side by side on the steps. “If I’m interrupting something, I can always come back later.”
“No,” Tess snapped.
“Yes,” T.J. said. “Come back next week. We’re not done talking here.”
“Yes, we are,” Tess said. “You’re not going to change my mind.” She pushed away from him and crossed the courtyard in tight, controlled steps, two suitcases in hand. Andrew started loading the rest of her belongings.
“If I stay, I’ll end up hating Almost, and you’ll end up hating me. That would hurt more than anything.”
He jammed a hand through his hair. “Dammit, Tess—”
“No. That’s the only answer there is.”
He stared at her in the gray light, his shoulders stiff and angry. “I never took you for a quitter, Duchess.”
Andrew cleared his throat. “Tess, maybe you should—”
“We need to go, Andrew. We’ll miss our flight,” she said.
Very stiff, very grave.
She didn’t look back as she slid behind the wheel.
In the passenger seat beside her, Andrew crossed his arms. “McCall looks pretty upset.”
“He’ll get over it,” she said as she drove away from Rancho Encantador.
“You look pretty upset, too.”
“I’ll get over it, too.” Maybe in another millennium or two.
“Hear him out, Tess. The depositions can wait. We’ll be handling most of the proceedings.”
“Andrew, I—”
He plowed right ahead. “By the way, we finally managed to track down Richard. Your bonus wasn’t an even million, but I’m pleased to say it was half, and Richard swears you were worth every penny.” His eyes narrowed. “So what will you do with all that money? Retire?” He sniffed. “No, not you. You’ll work till you drop. Work and work and more work.”
For some reason, the huge size of her bonus didn’t excite her anymore. “What’s wrong with working?” she asked, irritated.
“Nothing. Not a single thing. After all, I understand if you can’t wait to leave this wretched little town behind you.”
“It’s a lovely town,” she snapped.
“And I can certainly see how you can’t wait to see the last of McCall.”
“McCall isn’t the problem.”
“Yeah, he’s way too small-time for you. What kind of future does he have in a jerkwater town like Almost?”
Her hands gripped the wheel. “T. J. McCall is the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” she whispered. “We both know that.”
Her brother’s hand closed over hers. “So go back. Argue, complain, rant. Then work things out. Don’t let this chance get away.”
The road blurred for a moment, and Tess brushed at her eyes. “I can’t, Andrew. He deserves someone who can be wholehearted. The last woman in his life wasn’t, and I won’t see him hurt that way again. And I can’t just walk away from Boston and my career.” She blinked hard. “He’s honest, stubborn, and absolutely wonderful. That’s why I won’t make him choose between me and Almost. Now shut up and stop trying to make me change my mind.”
“Who’s arguing?” Andrew muttered. “I can’t get a word in.”
They were on the main highway, racing toward the airport. Giant saguaros towered beside them in the canyons, silent and majestic.
A motor gunned behind them, and they both turned as an approaching siren gave two sharp bursts.
“I couldn’t have been speeding,” Tess protested, slowing the Mercedes.
“Nudging ninety,” Andrew muttered. “But who’s counting.”
Tess shook her head as she pulled the car over to the shoulder. “I wasn’t. I couldn’t—”
A red Blazer with tinted windows cut in front of her, lights flashing. Tess stared at the tall, uniformed figure who emerged, a gray Stetson tilted low over his forehead.
“No,” she whispered. “He wouldn’t. Not like this.” She drew a breath and rolled down her window, fighting for calm.
“Afraid you were speeding, Ma’am.” T.J.’s eyes were unreadable behind his mirrored sunglasses. “Eight-nine in a fifty-mile-per-hour zone.”
“I—I didn’t notice.”
He fingered his belt. “Appears that you were swerving, too.”
“Don’t do this,” she whispered. “Please. Just let me go.”
He rubbed his jaw slowly. “No left brake light. Looks as if you’re also missing a side reflector.” He shook his head. “Could be serious, Ma’am.”
Why was he doing this? Hadn’t she made all her reasons clear? “T.J., stop this ridiculous behavior. There’s not a single thing wrong with this car. You know very well that I—”
He tossed a red piece of plastic up and down on his palm. “Yes, that makes at least three solid violations. Ma’am. I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to step out of the car.” There was an edge of command beneath the low drawl.
“No, I won’t. This is ridiculous.”
T.J. rocked back on his heels and glanced at Andrew. “I’ll have to take your sister back to town, O’Mara. There are a lot of citations to deal with here.”
Andrew rolled his eyes. “Fine. You two can sort this out without me. I’ve got a plane to catch.” He was already yanking Tess’s suitcases from the car and piling them beside the road.
“Andrew, you can’t just—”
T.J. opened Tess’s door, his expression unreadable. “Step out of the car.”
Muttering angrily, Tess got out, her heart pounding. “Why? What’s the meaning of this, T.J.?”
“Highway safety is one of our priorities. I need to see your license, Ma’am.”
“Fine.” Tess grabbed her purse and dug out her license, waving it in his face. “There, are you satisfied?”
“This license is out of state. We’ve had notices about counterfeits being circulated in New York and Massachusetts.” He shook his head. “I’m going to have to run you in for some questions.”
Tess put her hands on her hips, her whole body quivering. “T.J., this is absolutely ludicrous. You’re embarrassing me and—” She turned with a gasp as Andrew gave a two-finger wave, gunned the motor, and sped away, grinning broadly.
“Now I’ll ask you to walk up to the Blazer and put your hands on the window.”
Her face filled with heat. So he was going to be insufferable and arrogant, was he? She straightened her shoulders into a line and stalked to the Blazer, resting her hands against the window. “Search me, by all means. Don’t miss the knife in my belt and the gun in my left boot.”
“Oh, I’ll be thorough.” He moved behind her, caught her wrist.
Then he turned her very slowly, trapping her between the Blazer and his broad chest. His eyes were hidden beneath his mirrored sunglasses.
“I’m going to miss my plane,” she hissed.
“That’s a distinct possibility, Ma’am.” He reached in his pocket, drew out his handcuffs, then snapped one carefully around her wrist.
“You wouldn’t dare.”
The other cuff slid around his wrist, pulling their bodies even closer. “Now, about those questions.”
“I won’t say a word.”
“I don’t suggest noncompliance with a police officer, Ma’am.”
“I refuse to stand here and—”
A muscle moved at his jaw. “Will you marry me, Tess?”
Time stood still
. She heard the thud of her heart as she stared at her reflection in his glasses. She had long ago given up expecting to hear those particular words. Now that they’d come, they didn’t seem quite real.
She blinked at him. “Marry you?”
“The truth is, I never expected this, Tess. You represented everything I’d walked away from—stress, fast-track career, and nose-to-the-grindstone work ethic.” His jaw clenched. “I certainly never expected to want you. I damn well never meant to fall in love with you. But I did.”
There was a strange, unraveling sensation in the pit of her stomach. “Could you repeat that?” she said breathlessly.
“I love you. As in will you marry me? As in will you share my life and have about a dozen children with me?” He jerked off his sunglasses and Tess saw all the desperate tension that had been hidden in his eyes. “Tell me you love me, Tess. Give me an answer,” he said raggedly. “Before I die here.”
Heat shimmered, raced. Around them dawn spread halos of light across the valley. Tess leaned against the Blazer, praying that the ground would stop swaying. “I may have to sit down.”
He shook his head. “Not until I have your answer.”
As Tess began to speak, she was interrupted by the low rumble of a pickup truck. T.J.’s head shot up, and he glared at Grady, who was grinning at the open window. “What’d she say, Sheriff? Is she staying or is she leaving?”
“I’m definitely going to have to shoot that man,” T.J. muttered as a camera flashed and the pickup thundered past. He looked down at Tess. “Well, are you staying?” he demanded gruffly, catching her hand. “Since you don’t seem to like wearing my cuffs, maybe you’ll wear this instead.”
A heavy silver band with a cabochon star sapphire picked up the gleam of dawn as he slid it onto her finger. “This was my mother’s.”
“It’s beautiful,” she whispered.
“I’m offering you everything I am, Tess. I’m offering every dream you ever had and everything we can make together.”
She wanted that, too. Here in this place of beauty and solitude, it seemed perfectly natural to throw caution to the wind and let herself dream big.
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