by D. M. Turner
Colin frowned. “I’m afraid you’ve lost me.” Tanya had been Turned the previous June and remained with them ever since. She and Colin had married in September and continued to stay with his father while they waited for their house to be built.
Dad dropped the spatula on the counter and turned off the stove then came to stand on the opposite side of the breakfast bar. His brows drew together. “You don’t know?”
He considered it then shook his head. “No.”
“She’s going into heat.”
“What?”
“Surely you’ve noticed the signs.”
“What signs?”
Dad ran a hand across his well-trimmed, short beard, pressed his lips together, and shook his head. “I guess I never explained all of that to you, did I? We haven’t had a female wolf in the pack since your mother died.”
“No. What signs?”
“Irritability, restlessness, a desire to isolate, increased same-sex aggression, possessiveness.” He shrugged. “Those tend to be most common anyway.”
“So… I haven’t ticked her off.” Good to know.
Dad chuckled. “Well, I don’t know that for certain, but I’d say probably not.”
“She didn’t want to come down for dinner tonight. I doubt I’d’ve talked her into it if anyone besides us and Brett and Kelly were here.”
“Until it passes, you should stay away from the rest of the pack.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.” Dad leaned his weight on his elbows on the counter. “The further she gets into this, the more on edge you’ll be, and the more likely one of you will overreact to a comment or action by one of the others.” He frowned. “Have you really not noticed the change in her scent?”
How could he not? “Well, sure, but I thought it was a new perfume or something designed to make me nuts.”
A chuckle accompanied Dad’s half-grin. “Do you really believe the perfume industry could bottle a scent that would drive us so crazy?”
“Isn’t that the whole point?”
“For humans, maybe. For wolves, not so much. Our noses are too sensitive, and they rarely do subtle.” His grin blossomed fully. “Or haven’t you noticed that?”
“Well, yeah, but I keep hoping they’ll learn the power of understatement.”
“Don’t hold your breath.”
Colin looked into his father’s mischief-filled gray eyes and groaned. “Very funny, Dad.”
The older man laughed. “Anyway, each day that scent will get stronger and impact you more and more. Graham took time off work after he almost tore into a guy at the office for something mundane.”
“At least I don’t have to worry about that, since I don’t work around other men.”
“Except me, the pack members who wander through, and the construction crew finishing up your house.”
“Oh… yeah.” How had he forgotten all of them?
“If you’re smart, you’ll lay in enough food for about three weeks and lock both of you on your property. Don’t let anyone in, and don’t leave the grounds.”
“Seriously? Three weeks?” Not that he objected to being alone with Tanya that long. He could certainly handle that.
“It won’t last that long, but the heat will increase your appetites for food as well as sex, and it’ll make your tempers more volatile if others come around.”
Colin rubbed both hands over his face. “This is way more complicated than I expected.”
“Just wait until you’re in the middle of it. There’s only so much I can say to prepare you, I’m afraid.” He straightened and walked away from the counter to open the refrigerator. “One other thing though. Don’t push for sex until she’s ready.”
“Uh… or what?”
“Trust me. You won’t like it.” Dad half-grinned. “I did it to your mother a couple of times. She let me know in no uncertain terms that she wasn’t ready.”
That certainly sounded dire. “Bloodshed sort of terms?”
“Yep.”
“Oh. Um… so, how will I know?”
Dad chuckled. “You’ll know. She’ll leave you with no doubts.”
Not entirely helpful.
Chapter 2
Saturday, June 18, 2016
MOVING day. The reflection in the bathroom mirror stared back without offering insights or encouragement. Tanya frowned. It had been little more than a week since Donna’s call to warn her about the symptoms she’d experience with a heat. She’d felt prepared, pleased to find out about something before it happened. She hadn’t anticipated the signs would be so… uncomfortable. The super moon back in September had been bad enough to make her crazy. The heat was proving worse.
Colin had brushed against her before dinner the previous evening, a casual touch, nothing suggestive or sexual, and it had been all she could do not to rip into him. Thankfully, he’d kept his distance ever since, even being careful not to touch her through the night. Not that she wanted him to stay away. On some level anyway. It was truly a weird sensation, desiring contact with him like always and yet spurning it and being on the defensive if he touched her, even by accident. It made no sense.
He’d been busy most of the day with runs to and from their new home, so she hadn’t seen much of him. Evening approached, which meant time for her to go with him. She faced that with mixed emotions.
So much had changed in the past year, beginning with her Turning. Human-to-werewolf quite literally overnight. Rejection by some of her family. Taking Colin as her mate. Confrontations with her abductor and Kelly’s father, both of which could’ve turned out far worse. Losing two new friends to death, one after the other. Reconciliation with her parents. And all of that before January first.
Now, she and Colin were moving into their newly-built home not far from his father’s place, the only home she’d known since her Turning. In the midst of her first heat, to boot. By spring, if all went well, they’d have their first child. Life changed so quickly.
“Are you ready?” Colin’s smiling reflection appeared in the mirror. “Everything’s packed in the SUV.”
Tanya sighed softly and nodded. “I just have to grab the shampoo and such out of the shower.” She smiled weakly. “I’ll be right down.”
“Alright.” His smile faded, and he cocked his head. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Just… more change.”
“It’s good change.”
“I know.” She glanced over her shoulder to look at him directly. “But it’s still change. I can’t seem to keep up.”
That crooked smile of his emerged again. “You’re not alone to face it.”
She released a short laugh. “Which is the only reason I’m not curled up in a corner somewhere crying.”
Colin chuckled. “You’d manage.” He half-grinned, turned on his heel, and left.
If only she had so much faith in herself.
“Are you coming today?” He hollered from the hallway or stairs.
“Yes.” Tanya rolled her eyes, smiled, finished gathering up the things they needed, and followed her husband to the garage.
It took fifteen or twenty minutes to traverse the dirt road between Ian’s house and theirs. Ian had already come ahead to help Brett, O’Neil, and Carlos unload furniture that Colin and Tanya had bought and they’d offered to pick up. As Colin navigated the winding driveway after entering the gate, Brett drove a large moving truck past, O’Neil in the passenger seat. Carlos followed in a pickup truck. All three waved in passing but didn’t stop.
Colin’s car sat in front of the house, unoccupied. Ian had driven it over and would take the SUV home after it had been unloaded.
The house loomed, large and overwhelming. Had they planned for it to be so big? The exterior reminded Tanya of a log cabin, but it was larger than one. Colin hadn’t allowed her to see the house since they’d installed the windows. He’d wanted to surprise her with the final result. That had made choosing furniture interesting, to say the least, since she had no
idea of the final size, shape, and layout of the rooms.
Unlike Ian’s home, which had been designed for housing the entire pack when necessary, their home had five bedrooms and three baths. They hadn’t seen a need to install a bathroom for each bedroom as Ian had done, but Colin had assured her, with one of those crooked grins, that they’d have no problem filling the bedrooms with children. She’d believe that when she saw it. Given what Kelly had said about fertility issues, it could be years before they had their first child, much less three or more.
The master bedroom and bathroom were downstairs, along with a guestroom and bath, with the other three bedrooms and a bathroom on the second floor. At least, that’s how she and Colin had decided to do it. Whether that’s how the finished product had turned out remained to be seen.
He stopped the SUV at the start of the walkway to the front porch. The porch ran the length of the lower floor, providing plenty of room for chairs in case they wanted to sit outside. Colin had created a sitting area to one side of the front door, tucked against a bay window. A pair of Adirondack chairs bracketed a small table.
He got out and went around to open her door, stepping back and fisting his free hand. The action stabbed her heart. He shouldn’t have to make a concerted effort not to touch her. To deflect rising depression, she pivoted to reach for a box on the back seat.
“Leave that stuff. Dad and I’ll get it in a bit.”
Tanya straightened around, assured by his warm smile that he meant it. She climbed out of the vehicle and followed Colin to the house. He pushed the front door open then stepped back and waved her inside. Once across the threshold, she waited for him to enter and close the door.
“Go ahead and look around. I’ll track down Dad so we can unload the SUV.”
She nodded and turned to the right, gently gripping the doorframe as she scanned the room. Colin had turned the space into an office and library for both of them. Her desk sat near the front windows, along with a sitting area he’d put in the nook created by the large bay window she’d seen from outside. His desk sat on the far side of the room.
Bookcases lined every inch of available wall space and ran under a pair of windows either side of the bay window. She could close her eyes and envision how they would look filled with books, photographs, and knick knacks. It would be a wonderful place to work, though she’d miss listening to the steady rhythm of Colin’s breathing while she worked at night since she’d been working in the same room they’d slept. She would adapt. Not much choice.
All of the wood was dark mahogany. He’d chosen a butter-cream shade of yellow for the walls, which peeked from between shelves. A large rug she recognized from Ian’s house covered the hardwood floors. She’d long admired that one, with its beautiful array of yellows and browns. Perfect for that room and the chosen color palette.
Tanya wandered through the rest of the first floor. Mahogany had been the wood of choice throughout. To offset the darkness of it, Colin had chosen paint colors that were bright, giving a lovely balance overall.
The kitchen and living room (or “Great room,” the contractor had informed her) were open to one another, both with vaulted ceilings that rose almost twenty feet above the floor. The kitchen was flanked by a formal dining room on one side and a breakfast nook overlooking the backyard on the other. A door off the dining room opened into a guest suite. Bedroom, bathroom, and a sitting area in a bay window, facing the front yard.
An open stairway rose to the second floor, but she didn’t follow it. Instead, she went to the door that opened from a very short hallway off the great room. The master suite spread before her. The furniture they’d chosen had been placed in a visually appealing way. Colin had selected a soft lavender for the walls with white and black accents, along with touches of the soft yellow from the study and plenty of mahogany. Large rugs utilizing the brighter colors covered dark hardwood floors, preventing them from being oppressive or making the room overly dark.
White was the primary color of choice for the large bathroom, with a large, glass shower enclosure, spa tub, and double vanity. Accents throughout were chosen from the colors in the bedroom. A door on the far side of the bathroom opened to a large walk-in closet, even larger than the one she and Colin had shared at Ian’s house.
Tanya returned to the bedroom and noticed another door on the far side. Was that in the original plans? She didn’t recall there being any other rooms on the first floor, other than the utility room between the kitchen and garage on the other side of the house. Puzzled, she turned the knob and pushed the door open, and her heart stuttered.
A nursery. Colin had carried the rich hardwood from the rest of the house into the room with mahogany furnishings. Crib. Changing table. Dresser. Rocking chair. The walls bore wide, horizontal stripes of buttery yellow and purple a shade brighter than the master bedroom. Fabrics were dark chocolate, except for a large, cream area rug gracing the hardwood floor.
She smiled as her gaze moved from one stuffed animal to another, including a large one sitting in the rocking chair. Wolves. How had he found so many toy wolves? It wasn’t exactly a typical baby theme. She picked up the one in the rocking chair, sat down, and hugged it close to her chest.
He’d gone to so much work to create a home for them. Shouldn’t she be more… excited or something? Instead, tears threatened.
Chapter 3
“THE freezer’s fully stocked.” Dad stopped in the open front door, his hand on the doorknob. “So’s the fridge. You should be set for a while.”
“Thanks.” Colin smiled. “When you talk to the others, let them know how much I appreciate all of their help.” He waved toward the rooms around him. “There’s no way I could’ve pulled this together so quickly without them, and you.”
“I’ll tell them. Good night.”
“Don’t get too bored rambling around in that big old house by yourself.”
Dad chuckled. “I’m sure I’ll keep myself busy enough.” He trotted toward the SUV.
Colin closed the door and leaned against it. Watching his dad leave had reminded him. He’d just left the only home he’d ever known. Granted, he’d go back on a regular basis, but it wouldn’t be the same. Visiting wasn’t the same as living there and seeing his dad all the time. On the one hand, being on his own with his wife was exciting. On the other, more than a little terrifying. What if he made a total mess of things?
He chuckled and pushed away from the door. Good grief. He was a grown man. Even if he made a mess, he’d figure it out and clean it up. And Dad was right next door. Yeah, so “next door” was about a mile away, but that’s how folks had lived for centuries in a lot of places. They’d survived and thrived without neighbors within sneezing distance. He would, too. Besides, he wasn’t alone.
Reassured, Colin searched for his mate. He followed her scent through the house and finally found her sitting in the rocking chair in the nursery, hugging a stuffed wolf nearly as big as her in her lap. His smile faded. She didn’t look happy. He knelt in front of her and made a concerted effort not to touch her, laying his hands on the arms of the chair. He hadn’t realized how much they touched one another until they couldn’t.
“Hey, beautiful. Are you alright?”
Tanya shrugged with a wan smile. “I’ll be fine.”
“You don’t like the house?” He motioned to the room around them. “If you don’t like the colors or furniture or something, it can be redone.”
“It’s not that.” She shook her head and sniffled. “Everything’s beautiful. You did a wonderful job picking paint colors, and the mahogany throughout the house was a lovely choice.”
“Then, why do you look ready to cry? These don’t strike me as happy tears.”
She sighed then whispered, “I hate this. I hate feeling so… disconnected, I guess is the word.” She waved a hand in a sweeping gesture. “I walk through this house, see what an incredible job you’ve done and how perfect everything is, and feel… nothing. Like walking through a movie
set or something.”
Colin smiled. “Well, it’s very real, and it’s ours.”
“I know. It’s….” Tanya frowned. “I’m not sure I can explain it.”
“Do the best you can. I want to understand what you’re going through.”
With a brief nod, she hugged the stuffed animal tighter. Good thing it didn’t need to breathe or it’d be in trouble. “Before I was Turned, I had erratic monthly cycles.”
“Right.” He nodded. “I remember you mentioning that to Kelly months ago when she explained about the heats and fertility issues.”
“They weren’t just erratic. They were harsh.”
“In what way?”
“Cramps, bloating, rabid mood swings. In a second, I’d go from wanting to rip someone’s head off to needing to crawl into a dark closet to cry, and then back again. Most of the time, I just wanted to curl up in my room in the dark and everyone to leave me alone.”
“You feel that way now?”
“Except for the cramps and bloating, yeah.” A tear slipped free. “I hate it. When Kelly told me about the heats and I’d had time to think about it, I was thrilled. No more feeling horrible. So much for that. How long will I feel this way?”
“I don’t know. I wish I did. We could call and ask Kelly if it would help.” Hopefully Kelly had answers. Colin sure didn’t.
She made no response, except to bury her face in the stuffed animal in her arms.
Lord, I wish that was me she clings to so fiercely. I want to be here for her, but how can I when she doesn’t want me close? What do I do?
Kelly’s image went through his mind like a soft breeze.
Thank you, Lord. “Why don’t I call her while I fix something to eat?”
She made a motion that could have been a shrug or a nod. He wasn’t sure which but decided to take it as an affirmative.
“I’ll do that right now. We can eat and go to bed early, if you want.”