by Téa Cooper
‘Are you saying what I think you’re saying?’
‘That Rawlings didn’t sire the boy? Reckon I am. Lettie’s taken it tough—finding out the brother she idolised wasn’t who she thought he was.’
‘He’s still her brother. Same way you’ve been a father to me. Though I’ve never really understood why you took me on.’
‘Not sure I do either. Just didn’t seem fair to me that a boy should suffer because fate dealt him a raw hand. First your mother, then your father in that godawful crossing on the Hawkesbury.’
Not the time to go over his story—it was Lettie’s he wanted to understand. ‘And that’s why this Chapman disappeared from the scene?’
‘Suspect he got a handful of cash to take with him. Like I said, a Ludgrove doesn’t marry a drover, no matter how much she might want to.’
And the sooner he got that fact straight in the head the better he’d get on. What if the drover was a stockman? Owned himself a decent property, a stud? The dream was still there. But lately there’d been another thought or two slipping into his mind. And that’s what had cut him when Lettie had said she’d have to return to Sydney. It was one he was going to have to get out of his mind right now.
‘You’re quiet. Nothing else to say?’
‘No, just thinking about Lettie, about the future.’
‘Taken a bit of a shine to her, haven’t you?’
‘Might have. Not much I can do about it. Said she’s going back to Sydney. Besides it’d be like history repeating, wouldn’t it?’
Lettie hugged her arms around her body, her teeth chattering, her whole body shaking. Olivia pulled the quilt around her shoulders and smoothed her hair back from her face. ‘Come on now. It’ll all turn out for the best. You’ll see.’
No. It wouldn’t. It couldn’t. ‘It can’t be true. Thorne is my brother.’ The mere thought brought a rush of bile to her mouth.
‘Yes, he was, and always will be. Your half-brother, that’s the only difference.’
‘But he and I … we’re alike, had so much in common, loved the same things, the motor, the boat, adventure …’ She interlaced her fingers, clenched them tight until her knuckles cracked and a low moan issued from her mouth. ‘How long have you known?’
‘Some of it for a long time, other bits not as long.’
‘What about Pater? Does he know Thorne isn’t his son?’
‘From the outset. William arranged the marriage the moment Miriam’s situation became obvious. It was a difficult time. Alice had died. William was grieving, we all were. He did what he thought was best. Turned out he was right. Miriam and Rawlings have had a good life. He accepted Thorne as his son and then you came along and sealed the bargain.’
The bargain. It made it sound as though she was some kind of compensation. ‘And Pater is my father?’
‘Of course he is. You only have to see the two of you together to know.’
‘You’ve never seen Pater and I together.’
‘I have once. You came here when you were very small, do you remember?’
‘With Thorne. Yes. We thought the house was haunted. He fell out of the angophora.’
‘The day Miriam brought me William’s will.’
‘But why …’ Lettie shot upright ‘… why leave Ludgrove to Thorne? Grandfather knew he wasn’t Pater’s son. You knew.’
‘William accepted Thorne as his grandson. He settled a handsome dowry on Miriam, she inherited the house in Horbury Terrace. Same as my parents did for my sister Alice and me. She took a large cash dowry into her marriage to William and I inherited the Maynard land.
‘He settled the Ludgrove land on Evie. We all expected she’d come home. William wanted the two properties to stay as one, just the way his father and mine intended.’
‘And what do you think?’
‘I want William’s wishes upheld. The properties shouldn’t be divided. Right from the moment the land was granted the intention was that they should be joined, through William and Alice’s marriage, but there was no son to inherit. William was convinced Evie would return, he left me as caretaker and then, only days before he died, he changed his will. If Evie didn’t come home Thorne would inherit the Ludgrove portion on his thirtieth birthday. William finally accepted that he wouldn’t be seeing Evie in his lifetime.’
But Thorne had died before his thirtieth birthday. ‘Why did Miriam think Thorne would inherit the Maynard land? It’s yours.’
‘I have no heirs. Miriam played on my insecurities.’
‘What insecurities?’
‘My foolish misapprehension and my misery. I believed Bailey had left, disappeared, because he and Miriam …’ She took a deep breath, pursed her lips and forced the words out. ‘I thought Bailey was Thorne’s father. That’s why Miriam and I haven’t spoken for all these years. I told her I never wanted to see her again, that she should never set foot on Yellow Rock. I believed she’d stolen the man I loved, and married another.
‘I was a fool. I didn’t have the courage to follow my heart. I couldn’t marry a drover, any more than Miriam could.’ She waved her hands in the air her face suffused with colour. ‘Then as the years passed I wondered if I hadn’t made a mistake. I tried to find Bailey, but all I heard was the same old story about wages and stolen horses. I didn’t believe them any more than Denman did. In the end I decided Bailey’s son, Thorne, should be the one to inherit Maynard; not only would it make amends, it would keep the two properties as one, just as William wanted.’
But Olivia had no proof that Thorne was Bailey’s son. ‘Why didn’t you ask Mother?’
‘Because I’m an arrogant old woman bent on vengeance, without a shred of forgiveness in my soul.’
Dread coiled in Lettie’s stomach. She didn’t want to leave Yellow Rock, especially not now. With a hollow heart Lettie reached out and took Olivia’s gnarled hand.
‘I want you to do something for me,’ Olivia murmured.
‘Anything.’
‘I’d like you to stay and finish Evie’s map, finish her story, and Bailey’s. Tell the truth. You’re the only person who can.’
Olivia’s unexpected request and the faith she was placing in her brought tears to Lettie’s eyes. ‘I’m not sure I can.’ She hadn’t the skill. She might be able to sketch the odd cartoon, doodle on the back of a piece of paper but what Olivia was asking was so much more.
‘You can. No one else understands Evie as well as you do.’ Olivia narrowed her eyes. ‘I was right on the very first day you arrived when I said it was as though Evie had come back to me.’
Such a fey remark from the down to earth woman buffeted Lettie’s senses. She’d pushed the dreams and strange sense of connection she felt with Evie away since her foolish grab for the paper in the fire. ‘What if I spoil Evie’s map?’ Or worse, ‘What if I get the story wrong.’
‘You won’t. Evie will guide you.’
Thirty-Two
Nathaniel didn’t want to leave Yellow Rock, didn’t know what he wanted, truth be told. He’d cleaned, polished and repaired everything he could find in the stables. A strange stillness hung over the homestead, an atmosphere he couldn’t quite fathom, and all he’d seen of Lettie was her back, walking down the path to the study.
Denman appeared with the horses saddled. ‘Come on, mate, time we were out of here.’
The old man was right but somehow it was as though they were leaving unfinished business. ‘I’m not sure we should be leaving Lettie and Olivia.’
‘They’ll be fine.’
‘Olivia’ll be here all on her own if Lettie goes back to Sydney.’
‘She’s got Peg. She can manage. Same as she’s always done. Nothing more we can do.’
‘Wish I’d stopped Fred Parker from burning those papers.’
Denman handed over the reins, clambered up into the saddle and clamped his hat down hard. ‘Wishing ain’t going to change anything. Pull yourself together, boy.’
‘Should go and say goodbye.’
‘Already done that.’
Then that was that. He led Rogue out to the driveway, threw one last look at the main house, imagined Lettie sitting there behind the desk. He couldn’t leave without apologising for the way he’d spoken to her. He’d no idea what had possessed him to stick his nose in—his remarks had been plain out of line. None of his business what she, or her family, did. ‘Give me a moment. I want to say goodbye to Lettie.’ Without waiting for Denman’s reply he threw him the reins and sprinted down the path.
Lettie stood hands resting on the desk, gazing out at Yellow Rock, then down at Evie’s map, then back out of the French doors. He cleared his throat. ‘I’m here to say goodbye.’
She spun around. Dark shadows bruised the skin beneath her eyes. ‘You made me jump.’
He stood wringing his hands like some lovesick toad, his heart thundering faster than the milk train. ‘When are you leaving?’
‘Leaving?’
‘Yeah, leaving for Sydney.’
‘I haven’t made up my mind yet.’ She quirked a half smile. ‘You were right. Olivia shouldn’t be here on her own. Not yet. And she’s asked me to finish Evie’s map.’
His heart rate slowed and he took a step closer. ‘Good.’
‘Good?’
‘You belong here.’ Next thing he knew he was close, so close he could smell the scent of paint, turpentine, see the spots of gold glittering in her luminous eyes. He reached out and cupped her cheek, wanting to pull her into his arms. ‘Stay. Sydney’s no place for you. Especially not now.’
She tilted her face to his, a barely discernible half smile lingering on her lips. ‘I’ll stay until I have finished Evie’s map.’ She released her breath in a long trembling sigh and stepped away from him. ‘Perhaps you’ll be back this way before I leave.’
He’d make damn sure he was. And he’d make damn sure no harm came to her when she did return to Sydney. ‘I’ll do my best.’
Lettie rested her palms flat on the surface of the desk, gulping the air wafting in from the garden but failing to calm the thundering in her blood. It hadn’t crossed her mind that Nathaniel and Denman would be leaving. She didn’t want them to go. And worse, she didn’t want to return to Sydney, even though she knew she must.
The moment she’d arrived at Yellow Rock she’d changed. Yellow Rock had given her a sense of belonging she’d never known, not even when Thorne was alive. Yet now she felt incomplete, as incomplete as Evie’s map. She traced the fine lines of the roads she and Evie had travelled, into the blank void that marked the division between reality and mystery, picked up a pencil and pulled a blank sheet of cartridge paper towards her.
Sometime later, she felt rather than heard Oxley slip into his accustomed place beneath the desk, his heavy head resting on her foot, but still she stared out of the window unable to make a mark on the paper. How could she finish Evie’s map? All they knew for certain was that Evie and Bailey had reached Dartbrook. What happened after that was still a mystery though in her heart of hearts she believed the wildfire had taken them both, but what did Olivia believe?
Snatching up the map, she made her way out onto the verandah searching for the familiar figure of Olivia but there was no sign. Oxley finally solved the problem, spotting Peg in the vegetable garden fighting with a trellis.
‘Peg, do you know where Olivia is?’
‘In her room. Said she had some thinking to do.’
‘I need to talk to her. She wants me to finish Evie’s map but I don’t think I can. Not until I know she understands.’
‘It’s hard to give away dreams and beliefs you’ve held onto for a long time. She’s had a lot to take in.’
So much, not only Evie but Bailey too. ‘Should I disturb her?’ People needed time to grieve, how many weeks had she spent sitting staring out of her bedroom window trying to turn back time, trying to will Thorne back into her life?
‘That’s her decision. Go and find out. What’s the worst that can happen?’
That there’d be no ending to Evie and Bailey’s story. She turned and gazed up at Yellow Rock. How she wished Nathaniel hadn’t left. Right from the very beginning she’d held him at arm’s length, denying the truth about the way he made her feel.
‘Oxley can give me a hand in the garden. I need some holes dug. You go and talk to Olivia. It’s time the past was laid to rest.’
Pushing her hair back from her face Lettie drew in a deep breath of the fragrant air, rich with the scent of citrus blossom, and made her way to the farmhouse, past her room to the very end of the hall.
Olivia’s private sanctuary. Only once had Olivia invited her inside—the day she’d shown her Evie’s drawings. Lettie clenched her knuckles and knocked on the door.
It swung open.
Olivia sat rigidly upright on the edge of her bed staring at the wall, her hands folded in her lap and her feet neatly aligned on the floor.
‘I’m sorry. I knocked but the door Lettie’s words dried up as she studied Olivia’s tear-stained face. She backed towards the door. ‘I’m sorry. I’ll wait until you’re—’
‘Sit down.’ Olivia patted the quilt beside her then scrubbed a balled handkerchief across her face.
The bed groaned as Lettie lowered herself next to Olivia, wanting to take her in her arms and comfort her.
Olivia must have sensed her intention because she drew herself up even straighter, accentuating the space between them, and stuffed her handkerchief into her sleeve. ‘I want to ask you some questions.’
Lettie let her eyelids drop for a moment then nodded. She’d opened a Pandora’s box and now she must face the consequences.
‘Why did you come to Yellow Rock?’
‘Because Miriam sent …’ No, now was not the time to hide behind Miriam’s skirts, she owed Olivia honesty and truth. ‘Because I was running away, because my life had no meaning after Thorne died.’
‘And have you found meaning to your life now?’
‘I found you, a family I didn’t know I had, the past …’ A past perhaps Olivia wished Lettie hadn’t unearthed. ‘I just wish that I could have found the answers.’
‘Proof, you mean? Proof that Evie and Bailey are gone.’
Lettie bowed her head. How much pain she had caused this poor woman. Wouldn’t it have been better if she’d left after she had delivered Miriam’s message, not stirred up this hornets’ nest?
Olivia’s cold hand clasped hers. ‘I asked you to stay. I asked you to help me find Evie and as I have told you before, I bless the day Miriam sent you.’ Silence hung and Olivia’s grip tightened. ‘Because of you, because of everything you have discovered I can take solace in the knowledge that Evie and Bailey are together. He will take care of her until our spirits meet.’ A frail smile flickered across Olivia’s pale lips.
Olivia let go of Lettie’s hand and reached down to the floor. She lifted Evie’s saddlebag and placed it gently in Lettie’s lap. ‘Now you can finish Evie’s map. Finish Evie and Bailey’s story.’
The days merged as Lettie worked, directly onto Evie’s map, no longer concerned that the task was beyond her. The words in Evie’s notebook echoed in her mind as the pictures took shape. She marked Dartbrook and Rossgole and drew Evie and Bailey, their horses turned towards the north, towards Scone. Evie’s excitement visible in the set of her shoulders and the tilt of her head. Bailey, his hat pulled low, a pace or two ahead, a guiding presence as he led the way down the hill, and behind them the red ball of the setting sun hovering above the hills.
There was so much they would never truly know. Evie’s physical presence had gone but she was here at Yellow Rock. She vibrated in every glimmer of sunlight, in every line on the map. The map Lettie would complete.
Her first addition proved she had not only the ability, but the inextricable bond with Evie that Olivia had predicted. She could see the difference in their drawings, the difference in style, but together they made a harmonious whole which she believed would please Olivia. Not that she’d seen a
nything of Olivia since they’d spoken. She’d remained in her room.
Every morning Lettie helped herself to breakfast, went into the study, became absorbed in her drawings, forgot about lunch and in the evening, she found a meal waiting for her in the farmhouse kitchen along with a note from Peg telling her Olivia had taken her meal in her room. As much as she wanted to offer comfort she understood Olivia’s need for solitude. The need to realign her world. She’d felt much the same after Thorne’s death, and she could do no more than be there if Olivia needed her.
Lettie sat at the kitchen table picking at a piece of bread and jam, debating the merits of including Fred Parker on the map. When Olivia bounded into the kitchen, dressed in her very proper pin-tucked blouse and black skirt carrying a smart straw hat, a pair of gloves and the first smile Lettie had seen in a long time, she simply gaped.
‘I’ve got some business to attend to in Cessnock. I’ll take the coach from Wollombi. And I’ve decided I’m going to open up the main house again. It’s been closed for too long. Peg’s attending to it right now. You can take Evie’s room. I’ll move back into my old room, we’ll clear Alice’s and William’s rooms, for guests.’ Olivia pinned her hat in place. ‘I’ve a mind to ask Denman and Nathaniel if they’d like the farmhouse. Denman said he’s packing up the smithy. Since they didn’t get Rossgole they can base themselves here. And I want you to treat this place as home. After all, the Ludgrove property will be yours one day soon.’
Lettie’s head came up with a snap. She didn’t want that. Visions of the ensuing argument with Miriam were more than she could stand. How could she finish Evie’s map and then see Yellow Rock divided? ‘I wouldn’t know what to do with the place.’
‘You wouldn’t have to do anything. Life could go on just the way it is. You can come and go as you please. Nathaniel and Denman and I will run the stud.’
‘Nathaniel wants to breed Walers for the Light Horse.’ Lettie clapped her hand over her mouth. Whatever had made her say that?