Scratch that, I couldn't believe that I trusted this liar over Aaron.
"Why you little-" he ground out, his voice threateningly low. I held a hand out, effectively cutting him off.
"I don't care for what you have to say, Elliot. Now, are you going to leave or shall I call the authorities to help you?" I spat at him, resisting the temptation to smack him again. He didn't speak, choosing- rather- to stare at me.
"Leave my house. Now!"
His nostrils flared as my voice rose, but he chose not to say anything. His hand remained on his face as he backed out my doorway. He gave me one last glare, and- from that- I knew that this was not the end of it, but I ignored it. I turned around, kicking the door in frustration.
I regretted the action soon after.
The headache I was feeling returned full throttle and I used all the strength I had to stay upright. I hadn't realised my mum walking out the kitchen until she screamed my name, rushing to my side. I leant on the staircase, using it to hold my weight. My mum looked worried, her eyes darting across my sweat-covered face as she inspected me.
"Alexis, this is just getting worse," she pleaded, her eyes tearing again as she took me in. I could feel the bile rising to my throat but I pushed it away, trying to stand straight on my feet. Everything was normal one moment, then blurring out the next. I closed my eyes, resting my hot head on the cold wall.
"Just leave it, mum..." I answered, but my voice came out small and weak. I could hear her shoes as she moved around the room frantically.
"No, I can't!" She screamed and I opened my eyes as she rushed towards me with a glass of water.
"Please honey," she whispered, "just go to the doctor once. I know you don't want it, but for me. Please. Your health is getting worse by the minute, I can see it. If you keep going like this, your illness will just become worse."
I sighed at her words, attempting to stand up to show I was alright, but failed miserably as my legs gave out beneath me and I fell on the hard floor. She flinched as I fell and tried to help me upright again.
"What illness?"
We both froze in what we were doing as we heard the voice behind us. I recognised that voice. I looked to my mum, fear and shock on my face. She opened her mouth and closed it again, staring at the person behind us. I just remembered.
I had forgotten to close the door.
15- Honesty- A Friend & Foe
“What illness?”
We both froze in what we were doing as we heard the voice behind us. I recognised that voice. I looked to my mum, fear and shock on my face. She opened her mouth and closed it again, staring at the person behind us. I just remembered.
I had forgotten to close the door.
**********
I turned around to come face-to-face with him- a look of shock on my face. I hadn’t meant to leave the door open, but in the midst of all the dizziness, it was a small detail that I had regrettably forgotten.
Well, now it didn’t seem that small.
“What illness?” He repeated, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He folded his arms over his chest in, what would seem, impatience. He was waiting for an answer and I knew I had to deliver.
However, changing the topic wouldn’t hurt?
I forced a smile onto my face and moved towards him. Upon reaching him, I leant against the rotten door that had created this mishap, making sure to a whisper a curse or two at it.
I let out a small laugh, ushering him in.
“Erm, Justin, come in. What are you doing here?” I said all-too-cheerfully to which Justin raised an eyebrow. I mentally-cringed. If I were to succeed in fooling Justin, I would have to excuse myself for acting lessons because this was beyond pathetic.
Justin stepped inside, shutting the door behind him- something that I wish I had the sense to do.
“Don’t change the topic, Alexis. What illness were you talking about?” His eyes darted from mine to my mothers who had remained mute since Justin’s arrival.
Upon getting a taster of the infamous ‘Justin Glare’, she excused herself quietly and rushed into the kitchen, muttering something along the lines of ‘always giving the guest a beverage’.
I sighed heavily at my mothers antics before turning my full, undivided attention to Justin.
“Let’s go to my room. We’ll talk there.” I decided to which Justin nodded, following me up the stairs.
Upon reaching the room, I ushered him towards the bed. I smiled slightly as I watched Justin sit slowly on the bed; a cautious look in his eye. Finally, his behind reached the mattress and he looked at me with a blank expression; his back straight an rigid.
“Tell me.” He said bluntly and I cursed, hoping he forgot after walking up the long flight of stairs.
I walked across the room towards the window.
“Can you believe this weather? It’s so hot today. What do-”
“Tell me, Alexis.” Justin interrupted, giving me his infamous look.
I laughed nervously, choosing to look out the window.
“In a minute, but can I just say how good you look in black?” I said, regarding him from the corner of my eye.
In less than a second, Justin was stood an inch away from me. He gripped my wrist, pulling me towards him aggressively yet the expression on his face stayed the same.
“Stall one more time and I’ll be at Aaron’s doorstep telling him what I know.” He said bluntly. I would have called his bluff, but with Justin, I could tell it wasn’t a bluff. It was a cold-hard threat.
But, that didn’t stop me.
I chuckled dryly, staring into his steely grey eyes.
“Tell him what? You don’t know a thing.” I challenged, pulling my arm from his grip. Justin didn’t falter at this, but-rather- moved closer- the heat of his glare, burning into my face.
“Well, for one thing, I know there’s an illness and I know it’s you who has the illness. Lets just see how Aaron handles this information once I tell him, shall we?” He threatened once again.
I sighed. Justin knowing was one thing, but Aaron knowing was another. I loved the boy and to tell him such grave news would be more a painful job to me than it’d for him hearing it. Plus, Aaron’s state at this moment wasn’t particularly well, seeing as he was still recovering from what happened with Sam. He didn’t need more on his plate, so- with one deep breath- I told Justin.
I told him how I suffered from Aplastic Anaemia and how it wasn’t the common kind. This was rare; known as SAA aka Severe Aplastic Anaemia. A few hundred people in the US alone suffered from this and it has proved to be quite fatal. I told him about when I was diagnosed at 13 and how only my family knew about it.
Throughout my whole speech, Justin didn’t say a word. He stood still and, as likely, I could not decipher what he was feeling.
I took a deep breath as I finished, looking down at the ground. I couldn’t look him in the eyes after telling him what I did. I flinched when I felt contact and looked up to see Justin’s hand on the top of my head. I closed my eyes in comfort as he stroked my hair back.
“But, you’re getting treatment, right?” He said abruptly and my eyes snapped open.
Justin looked at me and I squirmed uncomfortably under his stare. How was I supposed to tell him that I stopped my treatment a few months ago? I didn’t have it in me to tell him, but- by the looks of it- Justin had already guessed. A look of anger and bewilderment had found its way to his emotionless face and he moved closer dangerously.
“You’re getting treatment for it, right?” He asked, but it wasn’t a question, that much I knew. It was more of a statement that needed confirmation.
Yet, what confirmation could I possibly give, when I wasn’t even getting treatment? I could lie, but I knew better when I realised whom the lie was going to be delivered to. It was Justin- the man who- without a doubt- could not be subjected to foolery.
“Er, well-” I stuttered and before I could think of a coherent excuse, Justin interrupted me once again. Though,
this time, I was thankful.
“Damn.” Was all that he uttered before sitting back on the bed, placing his head in his hands. I stayed silent. I found it best not to say a word. He was angry and, judging by how Aaron was when he was angry, I thought it best to not to rile him up.
After an achingly long silence, Justin looked up at me and it took everything in me to not run out the room upon seeing the murderous look in his steely eyes. Well, I would’ve, but I was on the other side of the room and he would inevitably catch me.
Like Aaron had said, I had the fitness skills of a really fat panda.
“Why?” He simply said, but it was all he needed to say for me to know what he meant. He wanted to know why I wasn’t getting treatment, but I couldn’t tell him.
Because, honestly, how would I have phrased it. Anyone else in my place would have kept hoping for a cure; they would waited till the end of time, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t leave my parent’s with that. I had decided a few months back- at the beginning of the school year- to stop the treatment and I didn’t regret the decision ever.
An image of Aaron appeared in my head, but I dismissed it. The love I held for him wouldn’t change the decision. I knew it was all fake to him and now, that Sam was gone, it would all be over. Aaron would be happier now.
I cleared my throat before speaking.
“I just turned 17 when I made the decision to stop the treatment. It was getting too much for me and I knew it was taking a toll on my family too. My mom quit her job to look after me and to come to my checkups. You don’t know how much she loved working. She loved her job so much. My dad gave up many opportunities to go abroad because he felt he needed to be here at every checkup and every procedure. I remember the night so clearly when I overheard their conversation. Their voices were so agitated. They had overdue bills they needed to pay, but they couldn’t. I knew it was because of my illness. Not only was looking for a treatment consuming money, but it was also consuming time- valuable time that my parents could spend working to make money. The illness was tearing our family apart financially. I had to do something.” I sobbed. I couldn’t continue. The memories of that time were enough to put me back in tears despite the vow I had made that night to never cry again.
Justin flinched at the sound of me crying and I could have smiled at his panicked look. It seemed as though no male could handle a crying woman. He moved cautiously towards me, pulling me slowly into his chest. Although he was rigid the whole time as he hugged me, I knew it was his way of comforting me and it worked.
He pulled back before bending a little to look me in the eyes. I cursed mentally at how short I was.
“Do you really think money means more to your parents than your life?” He said, searching my eyes for the answer.
I shook my head. I didn’t believe that.
“I know it doesn’t mean more, Justin, but I made my decision that night. After hearing their conversation, I went into bed. I thought about it, Justin. I thought long and hard about if I died. Life would be financially better for my parents and they wouldn’t have to carry the heavy burden that was my illness.” At this, Justin tutted loudly, running a hand through his hair in desperation.
I knew he was frustrated; I knew he wanted to convince me to get rid of such thoughts and take the treatment, but he didn’t understand what I was going though. Only I could understand.
I moved closer to him and held his hand, stopping his breakdown. At this, Justin stopped and looked at me. A tear rolled down my cheek as I lifted his hand up.
“One hand, Justin. I could count the people that would miss me when I went on one hand; what’s worse is I couldn’t even fill up that one hand. I have just two people.” I sobbed, gripping tighter onto Justin’s hand.
In response, Justin pulled my clenched fist up, splaying out all my fingers.
“Well, now you have three extra.” He said and then he did something, so foreign and unexpected, it took the wind out of me.
He smiled and, I don’t know why, it made me smile back. He had one of the best smiles I had seen. But, the smile was immediately off my face when I remembered the topic of conversation.
“Five people isn’t a lot either, Justin and you know that.” I said morosely.
Justin nodded slightly, putting his hands in his pockets.
“True, it’s not a lot, but it’s not about the number of people that love you. It depends on how true the love is that each individual offers.”
I knew he was right to say that, but he didn’t know the truth. He didn’t know that Aaron and I were not actually together, so it was plausible for him to assume that Aaron held a bundle-load of affection for me even if it wasn’t the case.
I knew I loved Aaron, but I also knew he didn’t reciprocate my feelings. He only loved Avalon; nobody could change that. When I had mentioned Avalon to him, I could sense how much he loved her and it tore me to pieces.
Plus, now with Sam sadly gone, it wasn’t likely that Aaron would still tag along with me which meant I would also lose Justin and Danny- the quarrelsome boys I had unintentionally began to adore.
This means that the five is back down to a two- my parents who would be financially better off without me. I sighed heavily. Everything in my mind pointed to the same thing- don’t continue looking for a treatment. I was just going to have to explain this fact to Justin.
I moved forward, putting a hand on Justin’s arm; his grey eyes watched my every move.
“I’m sorry, Justin. I can’t.” I finalised. At this, Justin moved back yet he didn’t say a thing. He was thinking, that much I could tell from the way he was gazing at the floor. After a minute or two, Justin laid his gaze on me and I looked at him- curious as to what he had to say. He took hold of my wrist, a blank look on his face as he spoke.
“I’m taking you to Aaron.”
16- Justin And I?
“I’m taking you to Aaron.”
**************
“Justin, no! Let me go.” I screamed at the top of my lungs, but to no avail. My pleas were falling upon deaf ears. Justin seemed adamant and, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t release the death grip he had on my arm. My mom had left before we came down and, so, I was left to fend for myself.
Wow. The first person on earth to put more energy into holding an arm than in generating basic facial expressions.
“Justin!” I repeated anxiously when I realised where we had just crossed- the sidewalk near Aaron’s house where our last encounter had occurred.
The sidewalk where I had internally proclaimed my love for him.
I sighed. The keyword being internally. I was always a coward, that I knew. Ever since I had grasped a coherent understanding of the word ‘fear’, there was never a time where I had been brave or- in the least bit- altruistic. Not even at moments like this, when time was something I had little of, could I muster enough courage to at least tell Aaron how I felt.
I screamed yet again, but this didn’t deter Justin from his ‘god-given’ mission. He power-walked into Aaron’s front yard; rang the doorbell and only then did he turn to me.
“Was there something you wanted to say?” He asked sarcastically, his grey eyes boring into mine. I glared as harshly as I could at him, and tried pulling out of his grip, using all the strength I had. However, my strength wasn’t enough. He looked down at me with the same ‘poker face’ expression, amused by my pathetic attempts. His eyes were stone-cold, but- for a fraction of a second- I caught a glint in them. Almost as if he was trying to stop himself from smiling. To stop himself from smiling at how weak I was.
I was now starting to see the resemblance between him and Aaron.
Before I could give him a mouthful on ‘how I was fighting him on an empty stomach’ and ‘how we should pick it up again after I was fully satiated on a large plate of eggs and toast’, the door flung open and- on the other side- stood the only boy who could make my heart flutter.
Aaron.
There he stood in all his glo
ry- shirtless and wearing shorts. The look of shock on his face was clearly obvious. He wasn’t expecting me to be at his door, that too with Justin. He didn’t speak and I frowned. It had been a while since I heard his voice and I needed to hear it again. I don’t know why, but I just needed to.
Justin cleared his throat, hiding the hand that held my arm.
“Can we come in?” He asked, gesturing to the inside of Aaron’s house and, although the question in itself was polite, it seemed so blunt and cold coming off Justin’s tongue.
Just like everything he said.
Aaron nodded numbly before moving aside and allowing us entry. Justin took no time in dragging me inside and into the living room. Aaron followed closely behind, confusion apparent on his features. I could tell he knew this was no regular meet up. There were words that needed to be spoken.
Words that I wasn’t ready to say.
“Something up?” Aaron questioned, looking between us again. My heart dropped to my stomach upon hearing his voice. Well, that was until Justin gave me a pointed look, signalling me to speak. I sighed, choosing to look down at the ground. It was too much to speak and look into his eyes at the same time.
“Lexi, is something wrong?” I heard Aaron’s voice call out to me and I smiled happily at the evident concern in his tone.
The smile disappeared. It was all an act to him even if- for me- it was so much more. He was faking this to everyone, but it was real to me.
“Lexi?” Aaron questioned, moving closer and, instinctively, I moved closer as well. I turned to see Justin stood leaning against the wall in the far corner of the room. He was waiting for the news and I had to deliver.
“Erm, Aaron, what I wanted to say was that...” I couldn’t find the courage to continue. The last words just couldn’t come out. I didn’t know why, but it was an easier task to tell Justin than it was to tell Aaron.
Aaron nodded, urging me to continue. He moved closer until we were a few inches apart. I cleared my throat in nervousness. Having him in such close proximity was definitely taking a toll on my behaviour.
Faker Boy (Alexis Secret Book 2) Page 11