by Danger Cove
"I understand it's been a difficult day for her. Life does go on, however, and I'm in a bit of a crunch myself. I'll give her a little time, but then I have no choice but to reach out to her."
Good thing for him I was a pacifist, or else I might want to crunch something more than his time. "Nice to know you put concern for others ahead of your own agenda."
"Lilly…"
"Have a nice day, chef. Good-bye." I hung up the phone, pleased I'd managed to maintain a level decorum with him that I currently didn't feel. I heard the bar calling. It was a safe zone for me. I could concentrate on work, have fun with my coworkers and the patrons, and forget about time crunches, hidden agendas, and stolen rings.
Tanner met me at the door between the kitchen and the dining room. "Hey, Lilly. I was just coming to get you. I've been covering at the bar, but there are some requests for drinks I don't know how to make."
I squeezed his hand. "Thanks for covering. I'll get right to it. I got delayed with a couple of phone calls."
"No problem." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a newspaper. He held it up for my inspection. The black and white page on display had a few red circles on it. "I found some houses for sale that I think you might like."
Ugh, I didn't need this right now. "Tanner…"
"I know you have a lot going on, but life doesn't stop." He took my other hand in his.
The earnest look on his face sent the rolling rocks in my stomach into a full-blown downhill slide.
"I'm graduating. Your lease is expiring in about a month. It's time we look at what the next chapter in our lives together will be."
Was he really doing this here? Now? There was still plenty of time. I'd been a good tenant and was confident my landlord would work with me on a shorter-term lease if needed. And I had customers waiting. I exhaled slowly and offered the best smile I could dredge up from the landslide of my emotions. "I promise to look at this soon. Right now, I have to go. Customers waiting, remember?" I squeezed his hand and then extracted mine from his, bringing the paper with me. I held it up. "Thank you."
I made my exit before he could say anything more or the sad look on his face could drain what was left of my PLH—that's peace, love, and happiness—balance. It was dangerously low.
As I waited on my customers, my emotions located a pogo stick and started bouncing around all over my brain. Why was it every time you found a place of contentment in your life, circumstances tossed a big heap of time crunches and life-altering decisions into the mix?
"Want to talk about it?" Mandi brought some drink orders up to the bar.
"This is more of a discussion we should have over a pint of rocky road or other sinfully sugared sweets."
"That bad, eh?"
I nodded. "That bad."
"Tanner?"
You had to love the BFF wavelength connection. "He's part of it."
"You know he loves you, right?"
I knew…at least from what I understood of love. The women in my family had given their everything to the men they chose to love, causing them, in my opinion, to lose themselves. Though some found that very romantic, it was not a goal I had for myself. I'd steadily avoided that kind of commitment. I wasn't ready for an all-in type of relationship, not yet.
I put the drink tray in front of her and leaned closer so that she could hear my whisper. "That's what terrifies me."
The understanding and compassionate expression on her face transformed to disappointment right before my eyes. I might have forgotten for a moment that she and Tanner had known each other for forever and were like brother and sister. "You could do a lot worse, you know."
I would've preferred she had trounced me with some trivia about love or relationships. "As lame and cliché as this sounds, it's not him—it's me."
I could tell she was measuring her words carefully before she spoke by the way she closed her eyes, drew in a deep breath, and then exhaled completely before looking at me again. "I know you have some baggage from your mom and gram when it comes to falling in love…"
"More like an entire closet full." It was true, no sense in denying it.
"No one ever said love was easy, but you need to figure out how to open yourself to the potential for happiness."
Mandi picked up the tray and left me alone with my thoughts. Opening yourself to love could lead to happiness. It could also lead to heartbreak. Both were distinct possibilities from what I'd witnessed of love in my lifetime.
The rest of the day passed by without further incident, a fact for which I was eternally grateful. This might have been the longest day in recorded history. Okay, that statement bordered on the dramatic, but it fit my mood. Tanner had been pleasant, but I could tell he wasn't his usual cheerful self. I'm certain my lack of further comment on the house hunting hadn't helped his mood. Sunday night was usually a good time for us to have quality alone time, but since he was about to graduate, we'd decided to have an early celebration with Mandi and Freddie at the pier. Ice cream served as the perfect celebratory dish and a way to soothe over the sore spots of the day. Right?
With Monday being our only day off, we had to make the most of the one night we could stay up late without fear of the alarm clock the next morning. I arrived at the pier ahead of everyone else. They must've stopped by their homes first. As I had no food, no clean casual clothes, and no one to say hello to there, I didn't see much point in making that pit stop. Besides, a hot fudge sundae was calling my name. I heard it the moment I locked up the last door at the tavern.
I found a table toward the end of the pier, away from what remained of the tourist traffic. A blonde woman staring out into the dark water caught my attention. I couldn't be sure, but thought it might be Allyson Seavers. Maybe she'd tried Jonathan again and been rejected. See, perfect example of how love could lead to heartbreak. The shape of the bottle in her hand looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't be sure of the brand or her spirit of choice since she was hanging out in the shadows just outside the glow of the lights. Regardless, I'd say love had not just turned its back on her. It was pushing her down a dangerous path.
Alcohol had never been my escape of choice, maybe because I'd worked in a bar for most of my career and witnessed firsthand the problems it could cause. Sugar, on the other hand, now that was a vice I could sink my taste buds into. Calorie consumption could make my problems seem less important, at least for a short time. Never mind the way those little buggers tried to hang out on my thighs long after the pity party had ended.
My first bite of cool vanilla ice cream surrounded by hot fudge sat on my tongue long enough to dispense soothing endorphins to my troubled brain. Yes, this was just what I needed to finish the day. I'd managed about five bites of happiness when Tanner arrived. His black jeans, white T-shirt, and black denim jacket suited him well. If he'd had dark hair, he could've doubled as James Dean. Gram used to tell me how all the girls would swoon over him. She'd even forced me to look at pictures of him on Google images. After taking in a tall drink of Tan, I'd take him over a dark-haired man any day.
Wanting to test the waters, I lifted my ice cream and smiled. "Wanna bite? I managed to save you a little."
"You never share your ice cream." He sat down at one of the picnic tables and gestured for me to do the same. It didn't take being his pseudo girlfriend to know his smile didn't reach those beautiful baby blue eyes of his.
I shrugged and pushed the container toward him. "A girl can change her ways sometimes."
"Are you going to change your mind about being in a serious relationship with me?"
And with one question, my ice cream comfort vanished. "Why the big push all the sudden? I've been honest with you since the beginning about my feelings on relationships." I moved the ice cream aside and took his hands in mine. "We have a good thing, don't we?"
"We do have a good thing. I want us to make it a great thing. Don't you want to be part of something great?"
I blinked hard to keep the moisture moving to the
corner of my eyes from taking a joyride down my cheeks. "I already am."
He was silent for several painful seconds. "I've received an offer for a teaching job in Chicago."
Wait. What? "Why would you even apply to someplace so far away?"
He stood abruptly, pulling his hands out of mine. For at least an eternity and a half, which equals about two and a half minutes when you're waiting for what you know deep in your gut is a potentially life-altering explanation, he stared out into the fathomless depths of the dark ocean. Finally, he turned around. "Jenna is going away to college this fall. Mom has been dating some guy she works with and seems happy. Everyone is moving on to the next chapter in their lives. I want to do that too. With you."
It had been a long day, and I was tired. I tried pondering the movement math he mentioned, but it wasn't adding up. "And you thought you'd accomplish that by moving to Chicago?"
"You're not listening to me."
"I'm listening. I'm just not understanding. Why don't you dumb it down for the non-college blonde?" As soon as the words left my mouth, I wished for them back. At least that last statement. I tried for an immediate retraction of my word vomit. "I'm sorry. That didn't come out the way I wanted."
His strong jaw was set, and I could see him fighting to keep control of his emotions. Guess one of us should try.
"I should probably leave now. This conversation isn't going the way I'd hoped or wanted. Before I go though, let me try to explain the simplest way I know how. I love you. I want to take the next step with you. If you don't love me or are too afraid to take a chance on us, then maybe I should take the job in Chicago. I applied because it was a good opportunity at an amazing school, and I wanted to see if they would even take someone like me."
Sweet heaven, I'd messed this up royally. "Tanner, I'm sorry. I…"
He leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead. That was never a good sign.
"Please say you'll think about it, about us."
"Tanner, wait!"
He stopped walking away and turned around, but it was only long enough for him to get the final word in. "You know what the crazy part is? It's not like I asked you to marry me. I just thought we could find a place to move in together or, if you weren't quite ready for that step, at least having you invest in a more permanent home here in Danger Cove. It's important to me to know that you want to settle down here too. You're too afraid of commitment of any kind apparently."
He was right. Commitment did scare me. My mother's commitment to my father was strong. Strong enough to make her leave me with Gram when I was just a baby and follow him around for decades even though they'd never married. Gram's commitment to my grandfather was so strong that when he went missing in Vietnam and never came home, she could never move on to love another. I wanted to say something, but the words kept slipping on the hot fudge I'd consumed and couldn't make it out of my mouth.
Tanner walked back and pulled me into a hug. "Just think about it."
With those words, he was gone.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Sleep was not my friend on the one day I didn't have to get up to an alarm. Thoughts of Tanner possibly leaving, Hope returning soon, Jonathan pressing, and Agnes…honestly, I had no idea what she was doing…filled my dream cycle with nightmares. The knot in my stomach would do any of the fishermen in the area proud, as it was tied so tightly, nothing was escaping. Wanting to feel at least slightly proactive, I picked up my phone and dialed the police station. When the operator answered, I forced a smile so that my tone would sound pleasant. "May I speak with Officer Faria, please?"
"May I ask who's calling?"
"Lilly Waters."
"One moment, please."
I'd yet to meet the woman who had replaced Agnes at the police station. Thankfully, Detective Marshall must have not poisoned her with regard to me yet, as she didn't take any tone or put me through the third degree. I liked her already.
"Morning, Lilly. You're up early for a Monday."
I forced a chuckle. "Don't remind me. Too much going on in my brain to sleep."
"Is there something I can help with?"
You couldn't get to yes if you didn't ask, right? So I decided to ask for exactly what I wanted. Besides, I was too tired to play games or employ some crafty strategy this morning. "Possibly. I was wondering if the autopsy on Rico had been completed yet?"
"No, not yet. Later today maybe."
It was worth a shot. "Okay, thanks. I'm sorry to have bothered you."
"No bother." He lowered his voice to a much quieter tone. "I do have some interesting news for you. Can you meet me at Cinnamon Sugar Bakery?"
Coffee, sweets, and information. Heck yeah, I could meet him. I tampered down my enthusiasm to a more appropriate level. "Of course. What time?"
"Will an hour give you enough time?"
"That will be perfect. See you there."
I noticed the police car already in the parking lot of the bakery when I rode up fifty minutes later. Once inside, I located Faria and waved to the owner, Maura. From what I'd learned through the town grapevine, everyone had been very excited when she showed up in town to visit and ended up not only helping solve a murder, but buying and reopening the bakery. Officer Faria, one of her most loyal customers, had referred to it as "the end of the dark times."
"You want your usual, Lilly?"
"That will be great. I'll be joining Officer Faria. Could you also put some of his favorite chocolate chip cookies on my tab?" I had no idea what the news was he wanted to share, but good or not, I wanted to be appreciative. Figured that was a good practice to keep up, especially with as much trouble as I attracted.
I slid onto the chair opposite him at a table next to the window. The shimmering walls reflected the morning sun and engendered a sense of calm. Well, either it was the paint or the smell of coffee and pastries. Regardless, it calmed my frantic mind a bit.
"Thanks for meeting me."
"Of course. Thank you for being willing to share."
He shrugged. "I can't share everything, but figure if I help you, you'll help me with information you run across. That's how it's supposed to work, right?"
"Right." I did feel good about tips I'd shared with him in the past that had helped to lead to some arrests. "What do you have for me today? I don't have any good info right now, but I've asked Maura to put together some cookies for you for later today."
He blushed. He may not enjoy sweets as much as others, but he definitely had a weakness for chocolate chip cookies. If he or his metabolism ever slowed down, those carbs were going to catch him and bury him in pounds. In the ultimate unfairness of gender inequality though, that tended to happen much later to men than it did women.
He leaned forward and glanced from side to side. "The ring was fake."
Time for me to win an Academy Award for my performance. I donned my best shocked face and replied in a loud whisper, "No way!"
He nodded. "Yes way."
"How did Agnes take it?" Now this I really wanted to know.
Faria leaned in. "I'm not sure, but she's the one who told us. Detective Marshall got the call, so the circumstances are unclear. She still wants us to find it though."
"Interesting." Time to offer a little quid pro quo. "I'm supposed to go see Agnes today to check in on her. If I learn anything, I'll let you know."
"Thanks, Lilly." He took another bite of a cinnamon scone and sipped his coffee.
I'd known him long enough to realize he was having an internal debate. About what though, I had no clue. I decided to practice the patience Ruby kept trying to teach me. God love her, she wouldn't give up, even though nine point nine times out of ten I failed miserably at it.
He finished off his coffee, and I wondered if my patience had been in vain. "Look, I can't say much, but part of our routine investigation turned up that Mr. Iglesias had some previous trouble with the law. Arrests, but no convictions."
"Arrests for what?" Hey, a girl could only be patient and quiet f
or so long.
"Can't say. I've probably said too much already. Keep this between us, okay?"
I didn't respond because I didn't want to lie to him. I wasn't going to blab it to Duncan Pickles or anything, but I was going to share enough with my other connection to the criminal justice system to see if he could find out anything more for me.
Thankfully, Maura walked up before I could answer. "Here's your to-go bag, officer. Compliments of Lilly."
He smiled. "Thanks, Maura." He stood and pushed in his chair before holding up the bag. "Thanks, Lilly. Talk to you later."
After he left, I flagged Maura down and placed another to-go order. This time it was for Ruby's significant other, Vernon. I wasn't sure how or from whom he got his information, but was grateful that he occasionally humored me with obtaining details I couldn't otherwise get. In exchange, I provided him with sweets that Ruby frowned upon. It was our own ends-justifies-the-means, unholy alliance.
I pulled out my phone to text Vernon with the information I needed and then paid my bill. I gulped down the rest of my tea, as caffeine would be critical for the long ride to the hospital. Thankfully, they hadn't taken her all the way to Seattle, or else I'd have to find an alternate form of transportation. Normally, I'd borrow Tan's car, but given the layers of ice forming between us, I didn't think that would be a well-received request. Besides, the long ride would tighten my calves and settle my nerves so I could come up with the best way to learn the most important detail of the day: Had Agnes killed her husband?
By the time I made it to the hospital, not only had I managed to develop enough heat in my legs to fry half a dozen eggs, but my brain had sufficiently scrambled the remaining half. Hopefully, I could wire enough of it back together to form coherent sentences.